Nick/Quotes

"I'm gonna teach your ass how to read." This article/section is typed directly as it is represented in-game and therefore may have spelling errors. Please do not correct spelling mistakes unless it is not as it appears in-game.

A list of Nick's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

Intro

• [Seeing Ellis being ridden by a Jockey]
  • "Ah, shit!"
• [When Coach's complains about climbing stairs]
  • "Come on, Coach! Maybe the helicopter... Maybe it's made of chocolate!"
• [Seeing how the helicopters flee the area]
  • "Looks like there's been a change of plans..."
• [Pulling Ellis away from the zombies attacking him, including a Smoker]
  • "No!"
• [As intro comes to a close, in background]
  • "I have not... Come this far... To die now."

Alternate Lines

[The game files include unused intro voice clips.]

• "Looks like they're coming back to finish the job." (4 versions)
• "Looks like they came back to finish the job." (3 versions)
• "I guess there's been a change of plans." (2 versions)
• "Looks like there's been a change of plans." (2 versions)
• "Looks like their plans have changed." (2 versions)
• "There's been a change of plans." (2 versions)
• "Looks like we're not part of their new plan."

General

Seeing a Safe Room

• "Safehouse!"
• "We got a safehouse!"
• "Safehouse ahead!"
• "There's the safehouse!"

Chapter Completed

No Casualties

• "I'm starting to like you guys!"
• "You guys aren't so damn bad!"
• "Happy New Year!"
  • (This references Francis' use of "Merry Christmas")
• "And THAT is how you do it!"
• "That, my friends, is how you do it!"
• "Take that, you mealy-mouthed bastards!"

With Casualties

• "That was a little too close..."
• "That was way... too... close."
• "That was way, way too close."
• "That was a close one."
• "Man, we got lucky."
• "We got lucky."
• "Goddamn, that was close."
• "We made that by the skin of our teeth."
• "At least I made it!"
• "Well that was unpleasant."

Waiting For Others Inside Safe Room

• "Don't make me come out there for ya!"
• "Everybody inside!"
• "Inside now!"
• "Get inside!" (2 versions)
• "Quit screwing around, get inside."
• "Quit screwing around, let's get inside."

All Survivors In Safe Room, Door Open

• "Close the door." (3 versions)
• "Close that door." (2 versions)
• "Don't forget to close the door." (2 versions)
• "Somebody got the door?" (2 versions)
• "I think we should be closing doors."
• "Lets try closing doors behind us."

Telling Survivors to Back Up

• "Back it up!" (2 versions)
• "Back, back, back!"
• "C'mon, back!"
• [Quiet]
  • "Back up."
  • "Everyone back."
  • "Lets get back."
  • "Back up, back up."

Telling Survivors to Go

• "Go!" (4 versions)
• "Go, go, go!"
• "Let's go, lets go!"
• "Let's go!" (2 versions)
• "Everybody keep moving."
• "Just go."
• "Just go, go."
• "Don't stop, don't stop."
• "Keep moving."

Telling Survivors to Stay Close

• "Stay close."
• "Stay together, people."
• "Keep close."
• "Yeah, of course, stay together."

Interrupting Ellis

[These quotes are used by Nick at various times when Ellis begins to tell a story]

• "Ellis? Why don't you just tell us this in the chopper?"
• "Ellis? Ellis, Ellis!"
• "Hey Ellis, why don't you tell us about the time you shut up!"
• "Ellis? Is now the best time?"
• "Um... I don't care. Nobody cares."
• "Ellis, if I listen to this, will this be the last one?"
• "Oh Jesus, is there a Witch around here we can piss off?"
• "Oh, not again!"
• "Glad you shared that, Ellis."
• "And your point is...?"
• "[Chuckling] You know what I like best about your stories, Ellis? The sound they make when they stop."
• "You know what I like best about your stories, Ellis? Nothing!"
• "Why don't we just try quiet time for awhile?"
• "Hey Ellis? Shut up contest. Ready? One two three go!"
• "Ellis, Ellis! We don't have time for that right now!"

Alone

• "Helloooo?" (2 versions)
• "Heyooo?"
• "Anybody hear me?"
• "Can you guys hear me?"

Directional Instructions

• "Through here/there."
• "This way."
• "In here."
• "Down here."
• "C'mon, this way."
• "Through this/that window."
• "Down this/that alley."
• "Let's go through here/there."
• "Through this/that door."
• "We can go through this restaurant."
• "Through that/this gate."
• "Up that/this/the ladder."
• "Down that/this ladder."
• "Ladder!"
• "We got a ladder."
• "Over this/that fence."
• "To/Over the bridge!"
• "We can cross here/there."
• "We can get up here/there."
• "We can get down here/there."
• "Over this/that door."
• "Jump down here/there."
• "There's a safe room up here/there."
• "Straight forward. This isn't so bad."
• "Down the street."
• "Get on!"
• "Come on, you can make it!"
• "Just a little more!"

Miscellaneous Crescendo Event Instructions

• "Hit it."
• "Press the button."
• "Do it."
• "Activate it."
• "I hit it."
• "I did it."

Cheering

• "Goddamn right!" (2 versions)
• "Baby!"
• "Yes!" (3 versions)
• "Hell yeah!" (2 versions)
• "Damn right!"
• "Awesome!"
• "Straight!" (2 versions)

Alarmed Car

• "Don't shoot that car!"

Commands

These are derived from the PC commands when using the Z or X keys.

Yes

• "Yeppers."
• "Yesssss."
• "Yes; yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
• "Yes."
• "Yeah."

No

• "Yeah, no."
• "No." (6 versions)
• "Nope." (3 versions)
• "No-Siree-Bob."
• "Uh-uh."
• [to Ellis]
  • "Try again, champ."
  • "Try again, little man."
• [to Rochelle]
  • "No sweetie."
  • "No way, sweetie."

Look

Distant

• "Over there." (3 versions)
• "Look." (4 versions)

Nearby

• "Look at this." (2 versions)
• "Check it out." (2 versions)
• "Look here." (2 versions)

Looking at another Survivor

• [Coach]
  • "Coach!" (12 versions)

• [Rochelle]
  • "Rochelle." (6 versions)
  • "Ro." (6 versions)
  • [Dead Center only]
    • "Hey you." (3 versions)
    • "Hey sweetheart."
    • "Sweetheart."
    • "Hey sweetie." (3 versions)
    • "Sweetie." (2 versions)
    • "Hey honey." (3 versions)

• [Ellis]
  • [Chuckling] "Are you kidding me Ellis? Come on."
  • "Ellis." (13 versions)
  • "Overalls." (2 versions)
  • "Hey Ellis, you like 'taters?"
  • "Goober." (3 versions)
  • "Cletus." (2 versions)
  • "Hey Cletus."
  • "Cooter." (3 versions)
  • [Dead Center only]
    • "Dude." (4 versions)
    • "Kid." (6 versions)
    • "Hey kid."

Argh

• "Dumbshit!" (2 versions)
• "This is all going to Hell!" (2 versions)
• "Goddammit!" (2 versions)
• "Damn!" (2 versions)
• "Screw this!"
• "What an assclown."
• "Shit." (2 versions)
• "BITCH!"
• "TITS!" (2 versions)
• "Bullshit!" (3 versions)
• "This is bullshit!"
• "Bastards." (2 versions)
• "Holy shit!" (2 versions)
• "Son of a bitch!" (3 versions)
• "My ass!" (2 versions)
• "Is this some kind of sick joke?" (2 versions)
• "I call foul!"
• "Kiss my ass!" (3 versions)
• "Ass!"
• "Asshat!"
• "Asshole!"
• "Assclown!"

Taunt

• "Take that, you mealy-mouthed bastards!"
• "Stick that where the sun don't shine!"
• "Candyasses!"
• "You don't stand a chance!"
• "Suck on that!"
• "Give up now!?"
• "Stick that up your ass!"
• "Stick it up your ass!"
• "We are wiping the floor with you!"

Follow Me

• "This way." (2 versions)
• "Over here."
• "Follow me." (3 versions)
• "C'mon this way." (2 versions)
• "Keep up." (3 versions)
• "Okay, this way."

You Take the Lead

• "Lead on." (3 versions)
• "I'm right behind you."
• "Right behind you." (2 versions)
• "Lead on, Macduff."
• "Yeah, you go first."
• "Lead on, smart guy."

Ready

• "Ok, we ready?"
• "We ready?" (5 versions)
• "Everybody ready?"
• "Ready?" (2 versions)
• "Everyone ready?"
• "Are you guys ready?"
• "You think you can handle this?"
• "If you aren't ready, I don't wanna hear it."

Good job

• "Impressive."
• "Nice shot, Ace."
• "Howdja... do that?"
• "Great shot."
• [To Rochelle ]
  • "Damn, Rochelle."
  • "Rochelle... damn."
• "ACES!"
• "Nice Shot!"

Thank you

• "I owe you one."
• "Thanks." (2 versions)
• "Thank you."
• "Thanks man, I owe you."
• "Thanks, Ro." (To Rochelle)
• "Thanks, Bro." (To Coach)
• "Thanks, Killer." (To Ellis)

Let's Go

• "Let's go."
• "Look at you. What are we waiting for, let's go."
• "Let's roll."
• "Time to move."
• "What are we waiting for? Let's go."

Hurrah

• "We are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, and kicking ass!"
• "It may not be pretty, but we're doing this."
• "You guys aren't so damn bad."
• "What do you know? We're gonna make it."
• "You guys are pretty good!"
• "Aces!"
• "I'm starting to like you guys!"
• "We're making it look easy!"
• "And that is how you do that!"
• "We're the four riders of the goddamn apocalypse!"
• "And that is how you do it!"

Hurry

• "C'mon, I'm in a hurry!" (2 versions)
• "Hurry it up!"
• "Let's go, let's go!"
• "Move, move, move!"

I'm With You

• "I'm here."
• "Why not? I follow you."
• "I'm with you."
• "Sure thing, let's go."
• "Sure, let's go."

Laughter

• [Laughter commands do not include words. There are 17 laughter variants.]

Nice Job

• "Well alright." (2 versions)
• "Nice job." (2 versions)
• "That was surprisingly good."
• "Nice." (3 versions)
• "That's what I like to see."
• "Wow. Nice."

Sorry

• "Excuse me." (2 versions)
• "Forgive me, ok?"
• "Well sorry."
• "I'm sorry. Is that what you want me to say?"
• "I'm sorry, ok?"
• "Can you forgive me?"
• "Don't look at me like that."

I'll Save You

• "Relax, relax, I'm coming."
• "I'm on my way." (2 versions)
• "Hold on, I'm coming."

Wait

• "Wait."
• "Don't move from this spot."
• "Stay here."
• "Just stay here."
• "Wait here."

Be Careful

• "Everybody be careful."
• "Let's be careful."
• "Try and be careful."

Health related

First Aid Kit

Taking

• "I'll hold on to this first aid kit."
• "I need this." (2 versions)
• "Grabbing first aid."
• "First aid kit."

Spotting

• "First aid kit here!"
• "First aid here!"
• "First aid!"
• [Multiple kits]
  • "First aid kits here!"
  • "First aid kits!"

Healing Self

• "I'm gonna heal."
• "I Gotta heal."
• "Gonna heal."
• "Gonna patch myself up."
• "Wait up, gonna fix myself up."
• "Wait—healing!"
• "Okay, hang on. I'm gonna fix myself up."
• "Just wait a sec. Healing."
• "Healing!" (4 versions)
• "Hold up, gonna heal." (2 versions)

Healed

• "Ahhh... Better."
• "That worked."
• "Alright, now I'm back."
• "Okay."
• "Ooh, yea."
• "Ahhh..."
• "Better."

Telling Survivor to Heal

• "Heal up." (2 versions)
• "It's a good time to heal."
• "This would be a good time to heal."
• "Maybe you could heal up now."
• "Heal if you need to."
• "This might be a good time to heal."
• "Time for people to heal." (2 versions)
• "Don't forget, you can heal yourself."
• "This is a good time to heal."
• [to Coach]
  • "Coach, you should heal." (2 versions)
  • "Coach, don't forget about that health kit."
  • "Hey Coach, heal." (2 versions)
  • "Coach, you should maybe heal."
• [to Ellis]
  • "Ellis, heal up."
  • "Time to heal, Ellis."
  • "C'mon Ellis, don't be a hero, use your health kit." (2 versions)
• [to Rochelle]
  • "Rochelle, you don't look so good." (2 versions)
  • "Rochelle, we need you. Heal up." (2 versions)
  • "Hey Ro, don't forget about that health kit." (2 versions)

Attempting to Heal Survivor

• "Stop, I've got something for ya." (2 versions)
• "Hang on, you need this more than me." (2 versions)
• "Hold up, you can have this." (2 versions)

Healing Survivor

• "Now don't waste this by getting pounced on or something."
  • (Note: the subtitles don't have the "on" after pounced.)
• "Let doctor Nick fix ya up."
• "You're a mess... stand still."
• "Hold on, let me heal you."
• "I should probably save this for me, but... what the hell."
• "Just hang on, let me heal ya."
• "Hold on, hold on."
• "We don't have time, stop moving."
• "Cover us while I heal you."
• "I'm gonna heal you, keep shooting."
• "Keep 'em off us while I heal you."
• [Specific for The Hotel]
  • "Alright, don't tell the others I'm doing this... I'm only doing this for you."
  • "Hold still, I'm probably gonna regret this, but let me use this on you."
  • "Hold still, I've done this before."
  • "Quit moving around, I've seen worse."
  • "Man up for a minute, I'm gonna fix you up."

Pills

Spotting

• "Pills here!" (3 versions)
• "We got pills here." (2 versions)

Taking

• "I got pills."
• "I can always use these."
• "I'll hold on to these pills."
• "Pills."

Using

• "Ah, a little pick me up."
• "A little pick me up, that's good."
• "Okay. Now to find me some real first aid."
• "Okay, that's gonna last for a bit."

Adrenaline Shot

Spotting

• "Adrenaline shot here!"

Taking

• "Grabbing a shot!"

Giving Pills/Adrenaline

• "It is more blessed to give than to receive."
• "Have this."
• "Just take this."
• "This is for you."
• "Here, I don't need this."
• "Take it, just take it."
• "Take this!"
• "Grab this!"
• "Take it!"
• [Dead Center exclusive]
  • "Hey you, take this."
  • "Hey what's-your-name, here you go."

Defibrillator

Spotting

• "Got some chest paddles."
• "Defib unit here!"
• "Got a defib unit."
• "Chest paddles here!"
• "Defibrillator here!"

Saved by Defibrillator

• "AHH! Stop shocking me!"
• "AHH... Right, that was some serious shit!"

Reviving Another Survivor with the Defibrillator

• "Clear!"
• "Come on!" (2 versions)
• "Work, damn it!" (2 versions)

Slipped Off Of Ledge

• "Guys, I seem to have slipped!"
• "I'm hanging here!"
• "Hey, gimme a hand!"
• "I need a hand!"

Hanging From Ledge

• "Get your asses over here and help me!"
• "Somebody needs to help me up!"
• "Don't be leaving me here, dammit, help!"

Still Hanging

• "I'm hanging over here!"
• "Don't even think of leaving me here!"
• "Could use a hand over here!"
• "Could use some help here!"

Hand Slips from Ledge (unused)

• "Woah!" (3 versions)
• "Ah!"
• "Hey!"

Falling

• "Heeeeeeeelp!" (2 versions)
• "Noooooo!"
• "Whoooooah!"

Low Health

• "Goddammit, goddammit, god... dammit!"
• "Don't worry, don't worry... I'm not done yet."
• "What was I thinking coming down here?"
• "If I go, you guys are gonna miss me!"
• "I have seriously felt better."
• "Pull yourself together, man. You're [grunts in pain] fallin' apart!"
• "This is not [grunts in pain] how it's gonna end."
• "You're gonna have to do better than that to kill me!"
• "I am sick... and tired... of being sick and tired."
• "Ain't this a bitch."
• "Well, at least I didn't catch the flu."
• "This is some crap."
• "I gotta take better (grunts) care of myself."
• "Okay, alright, I can do this... I can do this..."
• "Argh, I really screwed the pooch back there."
• "Goddammit, I can't believe this."
• "Not dead yet, but not exactly healthy."
• "Don't worry about me, I'll be ok."
• "I'm not dead yet."
• "Quit being a baby, you've felt worse after a night of drinking."
• "I am not gonna die down here."
• "I'm not dyin' in the middle of nowhere."
• "I really screwed the pooch back there."

Black and White

• "I'm not going to make it much longer, my friends... I am seriously screwed up!"
• "Well, boys, this looks like it for me!"
• "Doesn't this beat all... I'm about to die!"
• "Alright, I gotta call uncle here. I need some help."
• "Man... It's been a long time since I felt this bad."

Responding to Survivors inside Safe room

• [When the other survivors are in the safe room]
  • "Can't you see I'm limpin' here?" (2 versions
  • "I'm trying to hurry!"
  • "I'm goin' as fast as I can!"
• [When low on health in Swamp Fever]
  • "I am not going to become gator food..."
  • "I am not going to die in this swamp..."
• '[When low on health in Hard Rain]
  • "Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat." (a reference to Apocalypse Now)
  • "What the hell were we thinking stopping here?"
  • "Some milk run this turned out to be."
• [From the Zombie Survival Guide Trailer/When low on health on The Parish]
  • "I have not... come this far... to die now!"
  • "I am not... going to die... in this city."

Reviving Another Survivor

• [Asking a Survivor how they're doing]
  • "Lemme look at you."
  • "You gonna be ok?"
  • "Are you gonna be ok?"
  • "How you holding up?"
  • "Easy there, fireball, easy."
  • "Easy there, fireball."
  • "You hurt?"
  • "Everything working?"
  • "You in one piece?"
  • "You're not gonna die on me, are you?"
  • "Are you gonna die?"
  • "You gonna make it?"
  • "You ok?" (2 versions)
  • "Ok?" (2 versions)
  • "You good?" (2 versions)
• "We... I... need you for a little longer, so let's get you back on your feet."
• "Come on, get up. You're not dead yet."
• "Come on, get up. Get up, you're not dead yet."
• "It seems like every time I turn around, you are down on the ground, now let's get you up."
• "We can't afford to lose you...yet. So let's get you up."
• "This is nothing. You're gonna be as good as new once I get you up."
• "You have to learn to take care of yourself, or you'll keep ending up down here."
• "You have to take better care of yourself. Now let's get you up."
• "Come on, pull yourself together. We gotta get you up."
• "Look at you laying there. It's time to get up."
• "If I get you up, you promise not to shoot me anymore?"
• "Come on, I've seen worse, let's get your butt up."
• "It's a miracle you lasted this long, let's get you on your feet."
• "Settle down, settle down, everything's gonna be ok."
• "I'm not gonna leave you behind, let's get you up."
• "You're tougher than you look. Let's get you back on your feet."
• "Relax, you're gonna be ok, I've seen a lot worse, come on."
• "Don't worry, don't worry, I can get you back up."
• "Alright, don't worry, don't worry, I can get you back up."
• "This is nothin'. You'll be as good as new once I get you up."
• "Come on, still lot's to be done."
• "Rise and shine."
• "Let's hit the road."
• "Here we go."
• "Up and at 'em."
• "Let's roll."
• "You owe me one."
• "Let's have a look at you."
• "Time to get some revenge." (2 versions)
• "Let's go."
• "See? All good."
• "Good as new."
• "Let's go kill some zombies."
• [Reviving Coach]
  • "Get up, you aren't leaving me with those two."
  • "Get up, please? You aren't leaving me with those two."
• [Reviving Ellis]
  • "Come on champ, let's get you on your feet, you'll be ok." (2 versions)
• [Reviving a Survivor after incapacitating them with friendly fire]
  • "Let me say- look, if I did this, I'm- I- [pause] I apologize."
  • "I'll just, if I did this, I'm sorry."

Helping a Survivor off a ledge

• "Don't worry, I'll bail your ass out of this mess."
• "Easy there, fireball. Let's get you up."
• "Did you miss me? C'mon, let's get you up."
• "I gotcha, just relax, lemme get you up."

Reviving Another Survivor While Under Attack

• "Get up, get up, get up!"
• "Aw shit, get up, get up!"
• "Ah shit, come on, come on, come on." (2 versions)
• "We don't have time for this, get up!"
• "Time to move, let's go!"
• "Let's go, on your feet, let's go!"

Reviving Another Survivor On Last Down

• "You're starting to worry me. I can get you up, but you go down again, and that's it."
• "You seriously cannot go down again, 'kay? 'Cause if you do... you're not going to make it."
• "I can't lie to you, you are messed up. If you don't get yourself healed up, that's it."

Incapacitated

• "I'm down!" (2 versions)
• "Down!" (2 versions)

Still Incapacitated

• "I need some help!"
• "I can't do this on my own, could use some help!"
• "Somebody wanna lend me a hand here?"
• "Help!"
• "Hey, over here!"

Revived

• [Responding to a Survivor asking how he is]
  • "Same as always."
  • "You tell me."
  • "I'm not exactly 'great'".
  • "I'm cool. I'm cool."
  • "I'm good, I'm good. Get me up."
  • "Don't worry about me."
  • "Good enough."
  • "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine."
  • "Oh, I'm fine."
  • "Well, what do I look like?"
  • "Oh, I'm super."
  • "I've been better!"
  • "Just get me up... please..."
  • "I'll be fine."
  • [Sarcastic] "Oh I'm great."
  • "Fan-freakin'-tastic. That's how I am."
  • "I'll live, let's go."
  • "I've been better." (2 versions)
  • "Don't worry, just get me up."
• [When revived by Rochelle]
  • "Thanks, Ro."
• [When revived by Ellis]
  • "Thanks, killer."
• [When revived by Coach]
  • "Thanks, bro."

Survivor death

• "Ah, SHIT!"
• "We just screwed our odds..."
• "I think... we just became longshots."

Two dead Survivors

• "Well shit, we're a twosome for here on out."
• "Looks like it's just you and me."
• "Hey Ellis? Don't let me down."
  • (Used when both Rochelle and Coach are dead)

Rochelle

• "Good night, Rochelle."
• "I can think of two other people I would have rather seen go first."
• "There goes repopulating the Earth."
• "Ah shit, Rochelle."
• "Rochelle."
• "Guys? What are we gonna do now?"

Coach

• "Shit, Coach... I'll miss ya."
• "Goddamn it, Coach, what'd you leave me with?" (2 versions)
• "Later, Coach..."
• "Ah... Coach..."
• "I'm gonna miss you, big guy."

Ellis

• "Hey Ellis y'know that shit I was sayin'? I was just joking, right?"
• "Ah... Ellis..."
• "Ellis..."
• "Ellis, I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did."
• [In The Hotel, while unfamiliar]
  • "He was kind of annoying, but he could shoot a gun." (2 versions)
  • "It's no time for mourning, let's go."
• [When both Coach and Rochelle are dead]
  • "Hey Ellis, you know all those things I said? I was kidding."

Trapped in a Rescue Closet

• "Someone wanna come get me outta here?"
• "You guys out there? Come and get me!"
• "I need somebody's help for just five seconds!"
• "Can one of you people come and get me? Please?"
• "I'm trapped in a room!"
• "I cannot get out of here by myself!"
• "Come on, guys, get me out of here!"
• "Just this once I need some help!"
• "You know I'm going to be a big help, just get me out of here!"
• "I'm no use to anyone in here, get me out of here!"
• "Goddamnit, I am stuck in here, get me out!"
• "Alright, who's available to get me out of here?"

Team kill (unused)

• "Don't you think we should be killing the zombies instead?"
• "What in the hell kinda strategy is that?"
• "WHAT?! This is hard enough without you helping the freaks!"

Weapon related

General

• "Everybody grab a weapon!"
• "Weapons over here!"
• "Guns here."

Ammunition

• "Ammo here." (3 versions)
• "Ammo." (2 versions)

Reloading

• "Reloading!" (13 versions)
• "Reloading here!"
• "Gotta reload!"

Any Melee Weapon

• "Nice!"
• "Hell yeah."
• "This feels good."
• "This could be fun."
• "Can save some bullets with this one."
• "That'll come in handy."
• "I am going to beat the shit outta something with this."

Axe

• "A freakin' axe!"
• "Axe."

Baseball Bat

• "This is nice. I'm gonna crack some heads with it."
• "I'm gonna crack some heads with this."
• Nick: "This brings back some good memories."
  • Coach: "You play ball, Nick?"
  • Nick: "Nope. Bouncer at a club."

Frying pan

• "A skillet!"
• "This'll work."
• "Gonna bonk some heads with this!"
• "Frying pan!"

Cricket Bat

• "Gonna whack the shit outta somethin' with this!"
• "I am gonna whack the shit outta somethin' with this!"
• "Got a Cricket Bat!"
• "Cricket bat here!"

Machete

• "Machete here."
• "Got a machete."

Golf Club

• "Grabbin' a driver!
• "Club here."
• "Golf club."
• "Grabbin' a golf club."
• "Driver!"
• "FORE!"

Katana

• "Ninja sword here!"
• "Grabbin' a sword!"

Chainsaw

• "Chainsaw here!"
• "Got a Chainsaw!"

Rampaging with Chainsaw

• "DIE, DIE!"
• "SUCK ON THIS!"
• "YEAH! DIE!"
• "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Crowbar

• "Crowbar!"

• "Grabbin' a crowbar!"
• "I cannot WAIT to find a crate!"

Nightstick

• "Nightstick here!"
• "Grabbin' a nightstick!"

Guitar

• "Guitar here!"
• "Grabbin' a guitar!"

Magnum

• "Niiiiiiice!"
• "Hell yeah!"

P220 Pistol

• "Grabbing the pistol."
• "Pistol."
• "Second pistol."

Grenade Launcher

• "Grenade launcher here!"
• "Time to make some zombie soup."
• "Hell yeah, grenade launcher!"
• "Got a grenade launcher!"

M60

• "Shit, this is heavy."
• "Shit. Now this is a gun!"
• "Now this is a gun."
• "Big gun!"
• "I'm grabbin' the big gun."
• "Grabbin' the chain gun!"

Assault Rifle and Variants

• "Taking the rifle." (2 versions)
• "Grabbing the assault rifle." (2 versions)
• "Assault rifle."

Auto Shotgun and Combat Shotgun

• "I got the shotgun."
• "Shotgun for me."
• "Taking the shotgun."
• "Shotgun."

Pump Shotgun and Chrome Shotgun

• "Going with the shotgun."
• "Shotgun."
• "Taking the shotgun."

Sniper Rifle and Hunting Rifle

• "Sniper for me." (2 versions)
• "I'll snipe." (2 versions)

Submachine Gun and Silenced Submachine Gun

• "Taking the machine gun."
• "Going with the machine gun."

Pipe bomb

Spotting

• "There's a pipe bomb here."
• "Pipe bomb!"
• "Pipe bombs!"
• "Grab a pipe bomb."
• "Pipe bomb here."

Taking

• "Grabbing a pipe bomb."
• "Pipe bomb."

Throwing

• "Pipe bomb out!" (2 versions)
• "Chase this, you zombie bastards!"
• "Grenade!"
• "Throwing a pipe bomb!" (2 versions)
• "Pipe bomb!"

Molotov

Spotting

• "Molotov here."
• "Molotovs."
• "We got Molotovs."

Taking

• "Grabbin' a Molotov."
• "Molotov."

Throwing

• "Throwing a Molotov!" (2 versions)
• "Fire coming!"
• "Molotov!"
• "Lighting it up!" (2 versions)

Bile bomb

Spotting

• "Is that a bottle of puke?"
• "That can't be a bottle of puke, is it?" (Dead Center only)
• "Boomer Bile here!"

Taking

• "Grabbin' a bile jar!"
• "Grabbin' puke!"
• [Supplemental: said after the regular quote on Dead Center only]
  • "...for some reason."
  • "I can't believe I just said that."

Throwing

• "Incoming!"
• "Fight amongst yourselves!"
• "Puke in the hole!"

Explosive Ammunition

• "Grabbin' some frag rounds!"
• "Explosive rounds here!"
• "Frag rounds here!"
• "Deploying frag rounds."

Incendiary Ammunition

Spotting

• "Fire bullets here!"

Taking

• "Grabbin' fire bullets!"

Deploying

• "Everybody grab some incendiary ammo!"
• "Let's start some fires, people!"
• "Deploying fire bullets!"

Laser Sight

• "Laser sights here!" (2 versions)
• "We got some laser sights!"

Infected Related

Horde Alerted

• "This is why we've got guns!"
• "Goddammit, it's gettin' good!"
• "It's about to get serious!"
• "We got inbound!"
• "They're comin'!"
• "Here they come!"
• "Get ready!"

Infected Behind the Survivors

• "They're behind us!"
• "Behind us!" (2 versions)
• "Behind!"

Killing a Special Infected

• "Got it!" (3 versions)
• "It's dead!"
• "Dead." (2 versions)
• "Got 'em." (2 versions)
• "Done like dinner."
• "Bulls-eye." (2 versions)
• "That's a hit!"
• "Hit!"
• [Responding to Ellis claiming a kill]
  • "I don't think so Ellis."

Another Survivor Killed a Special Infected

• "Nice shot!" (4 versions)
• "How'd you... do that?"
• "Good shooting."
• "Nice shooting."
• "Nice shot, ace."
• "Impressive."
• "Alright, Coach." (2 versions)
• "You're getting the hang of this, Ellis." (2 versions)
• "Damn, Rochelle!"
• "Rochelle... damn!"
• "Damn, Rochelle, nice!"

Zombie Behind Another Survivor

• "Look out!"
• "Watch out!"
• "Head's up!"

Boomer

Hearing

• "You hear that Boomer?" (2 versions)
• "You hear that Boomer? Don't let him spew on you."
• "Boomer around. Don't shoot him if he's near me. Okay?"
• "Keep a lookout, I hear a Boomer."
• "I hear a Boomer."

Spotting

• "Boomer!" (4 versions)
• "We got a Boomer!" (2 versions)

[Dead Center]

• "Goiter man!"
• "Aunt Bee!"
• "Fat guy!" (2 versions)
• "Fatty!"
• "Watch out for the- the big, fat thing!"
• "It's the fat barf bag!"
• "That's what they call a Boomer!"

Vomited on

• "I'm blind!"
• "Oh, goddammit!"
• "Argh, this is nasty shit!"
• "Godammit. I am covered in vomit again."

Charger

Hearing

• "Keep your eyes peeled, I hear a Charger."
• "I hear a Charger." (2 versions)
• "Charger around, get ready." (2 versions)
• "You hear that Charger?" (2 versions)

Spotting

• "Charger!" (3 versions)
• "We got a Charger!"

[Dead Center]

• "Hillbilly!"
• "Overalls!"
• "One Arm!"
• "It's that thing that runs at you!"
• "I'm guessing that's a Charger!"

Being Pummeled

• "Shoot the big guy pounding me into the ground!"
• "Can someone shoot this goddamn thing?!"
• "This thing is beatin' my ass!"
• "Kill this goddamn thing!"
• "Shoot him! Shoot him!"
• "The Charger's got me!"
• "Shoot the Charger!"
• "Kill the Charger!"

Hunter

Hearing

• "I hear a Hunter."
• "Pay attention, there's a Hunter around."
• "You hear that Hunter?"

Spotting

• "We got a Hunter!" (2 versions)
• "Hunter!" (3 versions)

[Dead Center]

• "Scrawny little bitch I'm gonna kill!"
• "Jumper!"
• "Leaper!"
• "It's that fast bastard that jumps at you!"
• "I think they call those things Hunters!"

Pounced on

• "GET IT OFF ME!" (5 versions)
• "GET IT OFF!" (5 versions)
• "GET IT- GET IT-" (2 versions)

Survivor is Pounced

• "Hunter on [name of Survivor]!"
• "Hunter's got [name of Survivor]!"

[Dead Center]

• "Zombie on 'em!"
• "Zombie on her!"
• "Get that zombie off 'em!"

Jockey

Hearing

• "One of those little Jockey bastards is around." (2 versions)
• "Jockeys' around..." (2 versions)
• "I can hear a Jockey." (2 versions)

Spotting

• "Jockey!" (3 versions)

[Dead Center]

• "Little freak!"
• "Little guy!" (2 versions)
• "It's that little Jockey bastard!"
• "I think they're called Jockeys."

Being Ridden

• "Shoot this thing on my back!"
• "Shoot this thing off my back!"
• "Jockey on me!"
• "Jockey! Jockey!"
• "Kill this Jockey on me!"
• "The Jockey's got me!"

Another Survivor being Ridden

• Ellis: "That don't look dignified!"
  • Nick: "No, it doesn't."
• "Ten bucks says he takes him to the right…"

Smoker

Hearing

• "There's a Smoker around here." (2 versions)
• "Smoker's around."
• "I hear a Smoker."

Spotting

• "Smoker!" (3 versions)
• "We got a Smoker!"

[Dead Center]

• "Tongue!"
• "The smokin' thing!"

Grabbed

• "Smoker's got me!"
• "No!" (5 versions)
• "No, no!" (2 versions)
• "No, no, no!" (2 versions)
• "Smoker's-...!"
• "...got me!"

[Dead Center]

• "Freaking tongue!?"
• "What? Ahh, gross shit."
• "What the hell?!"
• "What's this shit?!"
• "Something's got me!"

Being Choked

• "Shoot the tongue! [grunts] Shoot--Shoot the tongue!"
• "Smoke--Smoker's got me!"
• "Smoker's got me!"

Spitter

Hearing

• "Spitter around."
• "I hear a Spitter." (2 versions)
• "There's a Spitter around." (3 versions)

Spotting

• "Spitter." (2 versions)
• "We got a Spitter."

[Dead Center]

• "Green thing!"
• "Neck!"

Spit Incoming

• "Hot stuff coming!"
• "We got goo coming!"
• "Fire spit coming!" (2 versions)
• "We got goo!" (2 versions)
• "Goo, incoming!"
• "It's that bug-spitting bitch!"
• "They've been calling those things Spitters."

Spit On

• "I got hit by burning goo shit!" (2 versions)
• "I got hit by the burning goo shit!"
• "Goddammit, I'm covered in goo!"
• "Let's get out of the goo!"
• "Get out of the goo!"

Spit On in Dead Center

• "Ugh, what in the hell did that thing just do?!"
• "Ugh, what is this shit on me?!"
• "Ugh, what am I covered in?!"

Tank

Spotting

• "Tank inbound!"
• "Tank! TANK!"
• "Man up, we got a Tank!"
• "Get ready, we got a Tank!"
• "Hold steady! Tank!"
• "Get ready! Tank!"
• "We got a Tank!"
• "Tank!" (3 versions)

Spotting in Dead Center

• "I hope that's not bulletproof." (2 versions)
• "We are screwed." (2 versions)
• "Maybe if we don't move, it won't see us." (2 versions)
• "Okay, that's reason to panic." (2 versions)
• "What in the hell sign of the apocalypse is that?" (2 versions)
• "Holy shit! Big freakin' zombie!"  (2 versions)
• "We have a problem!" (2 versions)

Reloading (fighting Tank)

• "Kill the Tank!"
• "Shoot the Tank!"
• "Shoot the damn tank!"
• "Shoot it! Shoot it!"
• "Everyone shoot the Tank!"
• "You! Shoot the Tank!"
• "Keep shooting!"

Attacked while Incapacitated

• "Freaking Tank is- Argh! It's killing me!"
• "The freaking Tank is killing me!"
• "Mother of m- Argh! This thing is killing me!"
• "Mother of mercy, this thing is killing me!"
• "Do you see this -Argh! This big g- Argh! This thing on me?!"
• "Do you see this big giant thing on me?!"

Witch

Hearing

• "I think I hear my ex-wife."
• "Sounds like a Witch." (2 versions)
• "I hear a Witch."
• "Everybody hear that Witch?"
• [Dead Center]
  • "Oh there's a sound that's familiar."
  • "That sound is familiar."
  • "I don't like the sound of this crying." (2 versions)
  • "A crying woman… What, you think she's sad the mall's closed?"
  • "A crying woman... You think she's sad the mall's closed?"

[Lights Off]

• "Kill your light."
• "Everybody, lights off."
• "Lights off."

Spotting

• "We got a witch."
• "Witch." (2 versions)

Witch is Being Disturbed

• "Can we leave that Witch alone?"
• "That Witch is getting angry!"
• "Leave the Witch alone!"
• "Stay away from the Witch!"
• "Watch out, that Witch is getting angry!"
• [If Ellis is disturbing the Witch]
  • "Ellis! Leave that Witch alone!"

Witch is Startled

• "Holy shit!"
• "Goddammit!"
• "Shit!"
• "No!!!!"
• "Bitch!"

Being Chased

• "This bitch is chasing me!"
• "Shoot the Witch! Shoot the Witch! Shoot the Witch! What're you doing?! Shoot her!"
• "Shoot the Witch! Shoot the Witch! Shoot the Witch!"
• "Ahhhh, I pissed the Witch off!" (2 versions)
• "Witch coming! Witch coming!"

Uncommon Infected

Hazmat Infected

• "Guess those suits don't stop bites."
• "Are those guys fireproof?"
• "Hazmat guys!"

Jimmy Gibbs Jr.

• "God DAMN you, Jimmy Gibbs Junior!"
• "Holy shit!"

Fallen Survivor

• "Is that a Survivor?!"
• "Kill that zombie, he's got something!"
• "Did that zombie just drop something?"
• "That zombie dropped something!"
• "That zombie's got something, kill it!"
• "Get that zombie, he's got something!"
• "That zombie just dropped something!"
• "What's that zombie got?"
• "What did that zombie drop?"
• "I think that zombie dropped something!"

Clown Infected

• "Kill the clown, he's attracting more zombies!"
• "Kill the clown!"
• "That squeaking is driving the zombies crazy!"
• "Shoot the clown!"
• "Kill every clown you see!"

Mudmen

• "Mudders!" (3 versions)
• "Watch out, mudmen!"

Riot infected

• "Those zombies are wearing armor!" (2 versions, one is a question)
• "Shoot the armored zombies in the back!"

Level Specific

Dead Center

The Hotel

Intro

• "So much for the rescue, any ideas?"
• "We're still here!"
• "Where the hell's the copter going? We're right here!" (3 versions)
• "Hey, get back here!" (2 versions)
• "Goddammit, we just missed it!" (3 versions)
• "Dammit, we just missed it."
• "Hey, come back!"
• "Hey, come back, I'm here! There's still someone down here!"
• "You could've yelled if you wanted."
• "Goddammit, they left us!"
• "They saw us alright and they're not coming back."
• "Not to burst your bubble sport, but this building is burning down. They're not coming back."
• "Okay, helicopters don't come back when you yell at 'em. Now we know that." (2 versions)
• "Good, that's decided. Moving on: I think this building's on fire, so I'd like to leave this building."
• "Good, that's decided. Moving on: I think this building's on fire, so... I'd like to leave it."
• "Okay. Helicopters don't come back when you yell at 'em. Valuable lesson, you three tuck that away for later. Now grab a weapon and follow me. This goddamn building's on fire."
• "Hey! Loud girl. Hayseed. Tons of fun. This building is on FIRE. Grab a weapon and let's get the hell out of here."
• "It's flying away from the burning building we're standing on; let's follow its lead and get the hell out of here."
• "Okay, we all had a turn yelling at the helicopter. Good. Moving on: I think the building's on fire."
• "Grab something; I got a feeling this isn't gonna be easy."
• "We better arm ourselves. I hope you three know how to fight. You don't look it."
• "If the world's goin' to hell, I'm taking a weapon."
• "Everybody grab a weapon. I get the feeling we're gonna need 'em."
• "Lets grab some weapons. I have a feeling something's down there..."
• "I hope you three know how to fight—you don't look it."
• [Responding to another Survivor]
  • "Then so am I. Grab a weapon, let's go. I think the goddamn building's on fire."
  • "Jesus, are you from here? Ugh, look at you, that is so depressing."
• [When the group encounters the Infected]
  • "Holy shit! It's zombies!"
  • "Oh, this is unexpected."
  • "These don't look like people."
  • "Jesus Christ, what are these things?!"
  • "I don't know about you, but I'm killing these things!"
  • "Zombies, eh? I knew zombies were real."
• [Studying the map]
  • "If that map's right, New Orleans might be the last place in America that can get us out alive."
  • "According to this map, the only place left standing is New Orleans."
  • "Jesus, the whole country's fallen."
  • "This map is NOT good news."
  • "According to this map, there aren't a whole lot of options."
  • "Looks like New Orleans is the last place on Earth that can get us out alive."
• "Dammit, elevator's out!"
• [When fire explodes in the hallway next to the nonfunctional elevators]
  • "Alright, I'm not walking through THAT. Let's find another way."
  • "Let's find another way. This suit's flammable."
  • "Shit! This place's burning up fast!"
• "Get out to the ledge!"
• "Out here, let's try the ledge!"
• "We can use this ledge to get around the fire!"
• "This elevator's still working!"
• "Technically... you're not supposed to use an elevator on a fire. But that might not apply during a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE."
• "Everybody get in the elevator!"
• [Everyone in the elevator]
  • "Push the button!"
• [While in the elevator]
  • "So you guys got names, or what?"
  • "Anyone get bit? Isn't that how this works?"
  • "Well, I'm glad I got that out of the way. Now, did anyone get bit?"
  • "There's blood on me, but it ain't mine."
  • "Nice work out there."
  • "Okay, let's keep this up."
  • "I normally go solo, but under these circumstances, I'm thinking we stick together. Call me Nick. You got names?"
  • "Hey, what's your name?"
  • "Nick. Name's Nick. You all did good. What are your names?" (2 versions)
  • "Name's Nick, but don't bother learning it 'cause I ain't sticking around long."
  • "Name's Nick, but don't worry about learning it 'cause I ain't sticking around long."
  • "Name's Nick. From the looks of you three, I'm the only one here who knows how to fire a weapon."
  • "Name's Nick. I'm gonna get out of this piece-of-shit city if it kills me."
  • "Nick. That's all you need to know."
  • "Nick." (3 versions)
  • "Nick. Not that it matters, 'cuz I think we should split up when this thing opens."
  • "Name's Nick." (3 versions)
  • "I'm Nicolas... Nick."
  • "You can call me Nick." (2 versions)
  • "Hey Coach, call me Nick.
  • "Coach, you can call me Nick."
  • "Kid, the name's Nick." (2 versions)
  • [Responding to other Survivors]
    • "Hm. This would be really awkward if I gave a shit about your feelings."
    • "You did good out there Rochelle."
    • "No, I'm good." (2 versions)
• [While in the elevator and another Survivor is dead]
  • "And then there were three."
  • "We're pretty screwed."
  • "Was it Ellis? Doesn't matter now."
  • "I think it was Coach. Don't matter now."
  • "I think she said it was Rochelle."
• [Ready to open the elevator doors at the bottom]
  • "Get ready."
  • "I bet there's gonna be somethin' waiting for us out there, so let's get ready."
  • "Alright, we're all friends now. Get ready."
• "Search these rooms, might be somethin' we can use."
• "We can get through here."
• [Preparing to jump down the elevator shaft (Unused)]
  • "Down this shaft."
  • "We can jump down the elevator shaft."
• [Picking up a primary weapon after leaving the elevator (Unused)]
  • "Haha, now let's see who's the monster."
  • "Shotgun, you complete me."
  • "Finally, a goddamn gun."
  • "This shit'll even up the score."
  • "Whacking things in the head was fun, but..."
  • "I do love guns."
  • "I used to steal these from cops back in high school."
  • "If my friends ever saw me using a cop's gun..."
  • "Ha, that's more like it."
  • "Now we're talkin'!"
• [Everyone in the safe room]
  • "I think we should close the door."

The Streets

• "Sounds good to me!"
• "A gun store sounds like a fine place to stop."
• Nick: "I guess living here's finally paying off."
  • Coach: "Mister, I don't think I like your attitude."
  • Nick: "Whatever."
• "Get me to the mall and I'll make it worth your while."
• "Mall must be close."
• "Over the dumpster."
• "Over this dumpster."
• [Entering Whitaker's Gun Shop]
  • "Candy store for adults!"
  • "Let's grab some guns, we got shit to shoot!"
  • "I'm not legally allowed to own a gun... hope everyone's okay with that."
• [Talking to Whitaker before entering the Mall]
  • "So let me get this straight: we get you your shit and you'll help us get to the mall, right? Okay, you screw us, and I will kill you with your own gun."
  • "Thanks for the guns, honestly. We all appreciate it. But you better not be screwing with us."
  • "Sure. Why not?"
  • "Sir, for the use of this gun, I am willing to go get you your Cola."
• "Get ready, this is gonna set off the alarm!"
• "Get the Cola!"
• "Grab the Cola!"
• "Somebody grab the Cola!"
• "I got his Cola, let's go!"
• "We got it, let's go!"
• "Got the Cola!"
• "Barrier's down, let's get out of here!"
• "There goes the tanker; Let's get out of here!"
• "That's one way to open a path!"
• "I gotta respect that!"
• "THAT is how you clear a path!"
• "I'll be damned. We actually made it to the mall!"
• "Well we made it! Let's hope there's still somebody here."
• "Okay, we made it! Let's hope there's still somebody here."
• "Okay, we made it to the mall. Barely."

The Mall

• "If anyone sees a men's store, let me know. I've got blood on my suit." (Possible reference to the Spy from Team Fortress 2)
• "Let's go find the evacuation center. I'm already sick of this place."
• "Ugh, God, I hate malls!"
• [Upon spotting the store "Disco Pants and Hair Cuts"]
  • "Disco pants and haircuts. Man, lots of space in this mall." (Reference to The Blues Brothers)
• "Up this escalator!"
• "Down that escalator!"
• "I'm get a sinking feeling this alarm's gonna get us some attention."
• "I got a sick feeling this alarm's gonna get us some attention."
• "Keep going up!"
• "Up, up, keep moving!"
• "Turn off that alarm!"
• "We gotta turn off this alarm!"
• "We need to turn off this alarm!"
• "Is there some way to turn off this alarm?!"
• "How do we turn this alarm off?"
• "Got it."
• "Alarm off!"
• "Thanks for turning off that alarm!"
• "Man, that was driving me crazy!"
• "You know what, I can take the zombies, but not that goddamn noise!"
• "Agh, Jesus, I knew it! There's nothing here!"
• "Okay, so the evac station's abandoned, annnnd we're at the center of a zombie-filled building. On the bright side? We're all probably gonna die."
• "CEDA. Leaving me twice in one day, lesson learned."
• "No one's alive in here."
• "We aren't getting saved!"

The Atrium

• [Seeing Jimmy Gibbs Jr. Poster]
  • "Who the hell is Jimmy Gibbs Jr.?"
  • "I'm getting sick at looking at this guy's face!"
  • "Really? 'Cause he looks like an asshole."
• "HELL YEAH! Next stop: New Orleans!"
• "Hit it, Ellis!"
• "What a fun road trip this'll be."

The Passing

The Riverbank

• [Start of Campaign; talking with Francis]
  • Nick: "I'm telling you the last goddamn time: Lower the goddamn bridge, you greasy vest-wearing monkey!"

[Alt] "Okay, listen to me, jackass, lower the goddamn bridge so we can drive our goddamn car across!"

• Francis: "Go to Hell, suit."
  [Alt] "Bite me, Colonel Sanders!" (2 versions)

• [In response to Francis, who states he is a cop]
  • "That guy's no cop."
  • "I'll tell ya' somethin'. That guy is no cop."
• "So we find this historic section, go under the river, and then we kick that biker-dude's ass, right?"
• [When talking to Zoey]
  • Zoey: "Sorry I can't lower the bridge."
  • Nick: "That's terrific, cupcake. Look, is there a man up there we can talk to?"
  • Zoey: "Boohoo, I don't know what to do... Go to Hell, Colonel Sanders!"
  • Rochelle: "I can't believe you used to be a con artist."
  • Nick: "Hey, lighten up. Man, no one can take a joke anymore."
    [Alt] "Would you lighten up?... Man, no one can take a joke anymore."
• [Upon seeing Foot Locker]
  • "Search these lockers!"
  • "What's in here?"
  • "Let's see what's in here!"
  • "Let's open this up."
  • "Check it out. Open it up!"
• [Reacting to the Bride Witch]
  • "Careful. I've seen a bride just like this before."
    • Coach: "Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo."
  • "Wedding music, and a crying woman left at the altar. This is bringing back some bad memories."
  • "Wedding dress, crying... this brings back some bad memories."
  • "Careful... I've seen a bride just like this before."
  • "Ellis. Maybe you should grab that dress for your new girlfriend."
  • "Ah Christ, this is more depressing than zombies."
  • "Ah shit, a wedding... this is more depressing than the zombies."
  • "I hate going to weddings."
  • "It's not easy to get blood out of a wedding dress... don't ask me how I know that."
  • "I think we're a little late for this wedding."
  • [Mocking Ellis' accent]
    • "Hey, Ellis, look! It's another angel!"
• [Upon crowning a Bride Witch]
  • "Honeymoon's over... bitch!"
  • "That has been a fantasy of mine for a long, long time."
  • "He ain't comin' back, honey."
  • "Now that's a shotgun wedding."
• [Upon startling a Bride Witch]
  • "Here comes the bride!"
• [Upon being attacked by a Bride Witch]
  • "This bride is killing me!"
• [When Coach is looking for the wedding cake]
  • "Coach, no time for cake."
    [Alt] "Coach, no time for cake. I'll keep an eye out for some, okay, buddy?"

The Underground

• [Safe room]
  • "I don't have a problem with leaving the car AND you behind. Okay, Ellis?"
  • "If anybody sees any hand sanitizer, let me know."
    • Coach: "You're not scared of one little germ, are you, Nick?"
    • Nick: "One germ nearly wiped out the entire human race, so YES!"
  • [Alternate Line]
    • Rochelle: (laughs) "You're kidding, right?"
    • Nick: "Yeah, hahaha, a little more hand sanitizer and we wouldn't be in this mess."
• "Boiled nuts? Coach, come on, what is wrong with you southerners?"
• [Teasing Rochelle about Francis]
  • "What's the matter, Rochelle? Playin' hard to get?"
    [Alt] "What's the matter, sweetie? Playin' hard to get?"
  • "I saw the way you were lookin' at him!"
  • "Look, there are probably ten guys left on the planet, Rochelle, and you aren't getting any younger, sweetie."
• [Upon entering the tattoo parlor]
  • "Y'know, I've never done a color tattoo before..."
  • "Who wants a tattoo?"
  • "Hey Ellis, maybe you should get a tattoo of that Zoey girl on your butt."
  • "Ellis, did you get that girl's name? 'Cause I can tattoo it on your ass. She'll like that."
  • "Rochelle, do you want me to tattoo your boyfriend's name on your arm? I'll just write 'Greasy Pig', we all know who we're talking about."
  • "I'm gonna get one that says no."
• [Upon seeing the suitcase full of guns and money]
  • "I like the way this guy packs!"
  • "Don't mind if I do."
• [While crossing the plank several stories above ground]
  • "Let's hurry across the plank before a Smoker gets us."
  • "Watch out for Chargers."
  • "Watch out for Smokers."
  • "Over this plank."
  • "Okay, let's cross this plank, quick."
  • "Don't look down. Watch yourself on this thing."
  • "Cross quick before a Smoker grabs ya'."
• [Upon seeing the Midnight Riders' tourbus]
  • "I must be dreaming."
  • "Did anyone else see that?!"
  • "What in the hell was that?!"
• [Upon entering the sewers]
  • "Oh, this is some gross shit."
  • "A sewer filled with bodies! This is sanitary."
• [After entering the water]
  • "It's just a storm sewer, it is just a STORM sewer..."
    • Ellis: "Don't smell like one."
    • Nick: "Ellis, I need this."
  • Rochelle: "Hey Nick! Splash fight?"
    • Nick: "NOOOOO!"
    • [Alt] "Don't you dare."
  • "Seriously, look, I'll give any one of ya' a thousand bucks to whoever gives me a piggyback ride." [Note: the subtitles say "dollars" but Nick says "bucks"]
  • "I am breathing shit air into my lungs. It is being absorbed into my bloodstream. I am literally full of shit."
  • "Here's a pleasant thought: Any one of us gets pounced, we're going to be fully submerged in shit water."
  • "Seriously, is nobody else freaked out right now? We are walking through a sewer."
  • "I am walking through a toilet. Thank you, Jimmy Gibbs."
  • [To self]
    • "Hey Nick, what's new? Oh, not much, I couldn't drive Jimmy Gibbs' stock car over a bridge, so I'm crawlin' through a shit-filled sewer so I can lower it. You?"
• [In response to Ellis' comment about his suit]
  • "I hate you, Ellis!"
  • Ellis: "Well, I still like you, Nick."
• [During the Gauntlet Crescendo]
  • "Goddammit! Back into the shit water!"
  • "Shit! Back in the toilet."
  • "Back in the water."
  • "Don't stop in the sewer!"
• Nick: "Yeah, a tunnel. I guess you're right, Coach. History is coming alive."
  • Coach: "Shut up, Nick!"
  • Ellis: "Actually, I think it's true."
  • Coach: "Both of you, shut up!"
• [During the tour]
  • "So... it's an antique basement, then... fantastic."
  • "Looks like the tour is in the Jazz Club."
  • "You're right, Coach, you're so right... history is coming alive."
  • "Why is everything historic always so goddamn filthy?"
• [Upon see the "Phase Two" sign]
  • "Phase Two—does this even go through?"
    [Alt] "Should we wait until they finish?"
  • "From one con man to another: five bucks for this? I tip my hat to you, Rayford."
  • "Jesus Christ, what did we just pay five bucks for?"
  • "Five goddamn dollars for an under the river tour. Well played, Rayford... well played."

The Port

• [While in the Safe Room]
  • Nick: "So we're about to see that girl again—what's her name, Zoey?"
  • Ellis: "Okay, you know what? No need to remind me, Nick. I'm a nervous wreck over here."
  • Nick: "What are you nervous about? You had your chance, and you didn't do shit. Now, you can watch Nick take care of business."
  • Rochelle: "Nick, being one of the last two women alive, I can safely say at least half of the women in this world hate you."
    [Alt] "Nick, you need to find a woman who hates herself. Then she'll love you."
    [Alt] "Nick. Leave him alone."
• [In response to Rochelle defending Ellis when Nick teases him about Zoey]
  • "What? I'm a handsome man."
  • "What? I'm a handsome man. What can I tell ya'?"
    [Alt] "A-B-C. Always be closing." (taken from Alec Baldwin's speech in Glengarry Glen Ross)
    [Alt] "What? I'm a closer."
• [In response to Ellis asking how he looks]
  • Nick: "Like you ran through a sewer."
  • Ellis: "Well, there's a turd on your shoulder."
  • Nick: "I'm not even gonna look."
• "I don't trust that biker. He better still be here."
• [In response to Rochelle, who states that Francis will still be on the bridge]
  • "You know him that well?"
  • "You got a good feeling about every scumbag that lives on a bridge?"
• [When filling up the Generator]
  • "Why is everything always empty?"
  • "Why doesn't anything ever have enough gas in it!?"
• [When meeting Francis for the second time]
  • Francis: "Never thought a fancy ass like you would have made it this far."
  • Nick: "That's funny, because I knew your lazy ass would still be here."
• "I guess they'll help right? First we fill up Jimmy Gibbs' car with gas, now a generator. What next? Don't answer that, Ellis."
• [When Francis makes a kill]
  • "I owe you one, Francis."
  • "Nice shot, Francis!"
• [When Zoey makes a kill]
  • "Zoey!"
  • "Zoey, all right!"
  • "Nice shot, Zoey!"
• [When Louis makes a kill]
  • "You're a badass with that gun, Louis!"
  • "Louis, I'm beginning to like you and your gun!"
  • "Hey Louis, are you sure you don't wanna come with us? We can leave Ellis behind."
• [Picking up an item that Zoey, Francis or Louis throw down]
  • "That's what we need."
  • "Shit! Thanks!"
  • "Thanks, we'll make good use of this!"
  • "Sorry if I was rude before, you guys are all right!"
  • "Thanks pal! Got it, thank you!"
  • [To Francis]
    • "Thanks, greaseball!"
  • [To Zoey]
    • "Thanks, babe!"
  • [To Louis]
    • "Thanks, Louis!"
• [Upon reaching Jimmy Gibbs' car]
  • "Hit it, Ellis!"
  • "I hope those three are gonna be okay!"
  • "Don't worry Ellis, plenty of fish in the sea!"
  • "Next stop: New Orleans!"
  • "Thanks guys, you good?"
  • "Thank you, good luck out there, eh?"
  • "You three take care of yourselves! And thanks, we won't forget this!"
  • "Be safe, you three!"
  • "Thanks, we gotta run!"
  • "Get to the car! Get to the car!"
  • "Thanks to you three! Good luck!"
  • "I actually think I might miss one of these guys."

Dark Carnival

The Highway

• "I hate to be the bearer of bad news guys, but unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we ain't driving through this.
  • Ellis: "Sorry, guys. Guess it wasn't such a hot idea after all."
  • Nick: "Don't sweat it, Ellis. At least you got us out of that mall."
    [Alt] "Goddamn you, Jimmy Gibbs Jr.!"
  • Ellis(if Nick says Alt):"That's not cool, Nick."
• [In response to Coach explaining he went to Whispering Oaks Amusement Park as a kid]
  • "Oh good. Now we can all die there as adults."
• "I think our options are keep moving down the road towards those lights or die here. Anyone in the "die here" camp? No? Then let's move out."
• [Upon seeing abandoned cars]
  • Nick: "These abandoned cars go on for miles!"
  • Coach: "Maybe they left em' when they got rescued."
  • Nick: "That's... one theory."
• [Upon noticing the burned bodies in the pool at the motel]
  • (whistles) "Those people sucked at high diving."
  • "They're not kidding when they say no lifeguards on duty."
• [While going down the hill]
  • "Whoa, shit!"
  • "Christ."
• [After going down the hill, and Ellis makes a comment about going downhill being "fun"]
  • "Falling and breaking my neck is not a fun time, Ellis."

The Fairgrounds

• [In the Safe Room]
  • Coach: "Hey the Midnight Riders! I used to love that band!"
  • Nick: "Never heard of 'em. They any good?"
  • Coach: "Hell yes! I have ALL their albums — even their new stuff that ain't no good! Best light show in the business, though."
• [While looking at the Lil' Peanut cutout]
  • "I do not like that little peanut man."
    • Ellis: "Man, how can you not like Lil' Peanut? I love this little guy!"
      [Alt] "You guys are jaded. I used to have his toys when I was just bite-sized. That little stuffed peanut is the best friend a boy could have."
  • "Anybody else find this peanut thing a little terrifying?"
• [After Ellis screams "Kiddie Land"]
  • "He's like a five year old. With guns. And a comprehensive grasp of every swear word in the English language."
  • "Now I want to ride one."
• [Before the Crescendo Event]
  • "You gotta be this tall to get in here, Ellis. Sorry, buddy. You'll be missed."
    • Ellis: " Ha Ha. Aren't you a real comedian."
      [Alt] "You're a real comedian, Nick."
  • "Nice fencing. Looks like a federal carousel penitentiary."
  • "A fenced-in carousel. Is this where they took child prisoners on day trips?"
  • Coach: "If we make this out alive, I'm taking y'all to a steak dinner."
    • Nick: "Buddy, if you get me out of this alive, I will deep-fry you an entire goddamn cow."
• [Upon seeing the switch to the Crescendo Event]
  • "We need to turn on this power to open the gate. You know what I think it's gonna activate everything else around here."
• [In the Safe Room]
  • "Why couldn't I have been in Vegas when the Infection hit, or even Atlantic City? Instead, I'm trapped in some goddamn hillbilly tunnel of love. Did you see that sign out front? Cousins-only day today."
  • "This is the most relaxing safe room I've ever been in!"

The Coaster

• [In the beginning of the Tunnel of Love]
  • Nick: You got your wish Ellis—we're in an amusement park ride."
  • Ellis: "This ain't that kind of ride, Nick. [Whispering] This is where you make out with your girlfriend."
  • Nick: Why couldn't we be in Vegas when the infection hit? Instead I'm stuck in this redneck tunnel of love. You see the sign out front? It's cousins only day.
    • [Alternate Line]
      • Nick: "Bringing back any memories, Coach? You, a cheeseburger, romance in the air..."
      • Coach: "How many tunnel of love memories YOU got, Nick?"
      • Nick: "Pfft. Huh. Several. Easy."
    • [Alternate Line]
      • Coach: Nick, I was on the football team. Coach did just fine.
• [While moving through the Tunnel of Love]
  • "You could almost call this a cement river, Ellis!"
    • Ellis: "Yeah, very funny."
      [Alt] "Ha, ha, ha."
  • "Into the swan maintenance room of love!"
  • "This is the longest tunnel of love I've ever seen!"
  • "Hmm. Okay, that got us around the block."
• [In the air duct shortcut]
  • "This isn't very romantic."
• [While running on the coaster tracks]
  • "These Infected do NOT respect lines!"
  • "Thank God this doesn't do a loop."
  • "Just follow the tracks!"
  • "I hate roller coasters."
  • "Make sure to call out if you get pulled."

The Barns

• [When viewing a dead animal in the barns]
  • "Looks like the H in 4H stands for Hell."
    [Alt] "Ugh! What's that smell?"
    • Ellis: "Smells like dead zombies. Everything's startin' to smell like that lately."
      [Alt] Rochelle: "Smells like... a white suit... that hasn't been dry cleaned in about a month."

The Concert

• [In the Safe Room, in response to Coach's plan]
  • "Coach, that is the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with"
• "I know I'm going to regret this, but turn it up!"
• "Okay, we'll set off the pyrotechnics, but I'm telling you right now. I AM NOT GOING TO AIR GUITAR."
• "I think I know how to start the finale; hit the button labeled 'Finale'."
• "When I hit this tape, it's gonna blare some old people's rock music and start the finale. Get ready."
• "Unless someone else has a better idea, lets rock."
• "Coach, when I start this finale, you aren't gonna start dancing are you? Ahh, screw it, I'm hitting it."
• "If you have any taste, cover your ears. I'm starting the finale."
• "Hit the flash bangs!"
• "I think the copter pilot wants us to turn it down."
• "Ellis, I'm sorry to ruin your day, but I think your heroes are lip-singers. There's a button here labeled 'Finale'."
• [After seeing the helicopter]
  • "Coach, you're a genius! This worked!"
  • "It worked! I love you, Coach!"
  • "Great, following shiny lights in the sky. We're like freaking cats and a laser pointer."

Swamp Fever

Plank Country

• [In response to Ellis' reaction to him killing the pilot]
  • "Well he wasn't doing a very good job once he became a zombie, now was he?"
    [Alt] "I shot a zombie. He was a zombie, Ellis. He must have gotten bitten before he picked us up."
    • Rochelle: "That's true. If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it would probably be when he stopped flying the chopper and... attacked us. Anyone know where we are?"
  • Nick: "I can't believe none of you were going to shoot him."
• [In response to Ellis talking about the blood farmers]
  • "Jesus Christ, Ellis, like the goddamn zombies aren't bad enough."
• "I don't think they like the military out here."
• "This is all messed up..."
• [When crossing the river in Plank Country]
  • Rochelle: "Nick, what do you think the odds are that the swamp people are still alive?"
  • Nick: "What alive and Infected, or alive and not zombies?"
  • Rochelle: "Not zombies."
  • Nick: "100 to 1."
  • Rochelle: "Sounds about right."
• [When jumping into deep water]
  • Nick: "Shit! All this swamp is gonna ruin my white suit!"
  • Rochelle: (laughs) "You mean the one with zombie brains all over it? That one?"
  • Nick: "Brains come out, swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that."

The Swamp

• [When seeing the downed passenger jet]
  • "I guess walking isn't so bad."
• [Before triggering the emergency door in the jet]
  • "We can get through this door."
  • "I think it's a safe bet to say an alarm will sound when we open this door."
  • "We have to open this door."
  • "Someone open the door."
  • "The emergency exit is the only way."
• [When opening the door]
  • "I'm opening the door."
  • "Get ready, I'm opening the door."
• [When low on Health]
  • "I am not dying in this goddamn swamp."
  • "I am not going to become gator food..."
• Rochelle: "So what do you think is going to kill us? Gators, snakes, bugs, or mud people?
  • Nick: You're forgetting one thing—from the way we're shooting? Each other."

Hard Rain

The Milltown

• "What are we supposed to signal him with?"
  • Ellis: "Oh, there's flares in the gun bag."
  • Nick: "What gun bag?
  • Ellis: "You didn't grab the guns?
  • Nick: "ME? Who died and made me the gun monitor?
  • Ellis: "Pretty much everybody."
• Rochelle: "This should be easy. We just need to grab some diesel."
  • Nick: You wanna hear a prediction?"
  • Everyone in synchronization: "No."
  • Nick: "There's not gonna be any gas. Watch."

[Seeing the sign at the first gas station]

• "No gas. See? What'd I say?"
  • [Alt] "No gas. Terrific, this is just great."
• "Out of gas!"
  • Ellis: "Looks like we gotta head to this Ducatel place."
  • Nick: "What makes you think they still have gas?"
  • Coach: "'Cause if they don't, we're gonna be stuck here forever, Nick."

The Sugar Mill

• "The last time I saw this many crying women was at my wedding."
• "DAMN! There are so many witches!" [Nick laughs] "I bet they all cry because I dumped them all."

Mill Escape

• "Back through the field."
• "Everybody in the elevator!"
• "We can take the elevator back up!"
• "Up that/this pipe!"
• "Everyone back down the stairs."
• "We can cross over that tank!"
• "We can get across the water here/there!"
• "Cross here!"
• "Man, it's all flooded!"
• "It's a lake down there!"
• "There's the Ducatel sign, we're almost out of here!"

Return to Town

• "I remember this, we're going the right way!" (2 versions)
• "I saw this on the way in, we're going the right way!" (2 versions)
• "Get to higher ground!"
• "Here comes the rain!"
• "Storm coming!"
• "Stay close!"
• "I can't see a damn thing!"
• "Blind as a damn bat!"

Town Escape

• [Unused Lines]
  • "The sign's out!"
  • "Somebody restart the sign!"

The Parish

The Waterfront

• "I... have not... come this far... to die now."
• [When the fighter jets fly by]
  • Coach: "Alright! The military's still here!"
  • Nick: "You don't evacuate people in fighter jets."
• [Alternative when the fighter jets fly by]
  • Coach: "They still flyin' jets!"
  • Nick: "I wonder if that's a good news."
  • Coach: "It means they haven't abandoned N'awlins."
• [In response to Coach saying how close they are to the bridge]
  • "You mean that blurry line in the horizon? Let's not get ahead of ourselves."
    [Alt] "Yeah, well, seeing the bridge and getting there are two different things."
• [Unused Lines]
  • "All we have to do is find the freeway, it'll take us to the bridge."
  • "Let's head inland."
  • "Let's get off the dock."
  • "Woah... military's still here."
  • "I kinda remember the city a little different."
  • "I was hoping the city'd be in better shape."
  • "Looks like they're still holding on to the city."
  • "The city is a mess!"
  • "This used to be a beautiful city."

The Park

• [Response to Ellis' horse comment]
  • Nick: "You ever eat horse? It's tasty."
  • Ellis: "Horses are for ridin', not eatin', Nick."
• "From the looks of this park, I'm glad we didn't arrive early."
• "In this courtyard."
• "Through the park."
• [Upon seeing the bathrooms]
  • "Oh man, it smells awful in here."
  • "It reeks like... piss."
    • Ellis: "I think it smells kinda nice.
    • Nick: "You're screwed up in the head, you know that?"
      [Alt] "Goddammit, you are messed up."
• [Upon seeing uninfected dead bodies]
  • Nick: "Jesus! These are people! They were shooting people! I told you I had a bad feeling about this."
    • [Alternate Lines] "These bodies are not infected."
    • "They made them prove they were healthy enough to walk that far..."
  • Coach: "How's it feel to be so right, Nick?"
  • Nick: "Not good..."
• [Before starting The Park's Crescendo Event]
  • Nick: "As soon as we open that door, get ready to run for the tower."
  • Ellis: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait... why we goin' to the tower?"
    [Alt] "Hooey, why we headin' there?"
  • Nick: "We run to the tower, and we turn off the alarm!"
  • Ellis: "Oh! Okay, okay, I get it!"
    [Alt] "Wait... we are going it together right?"
  • Nick: "Of course we're going together."
• [Alternate Line]
  • Nick: "As soon as that door opens, get ready to run for the tower."
  • Coach: "Got to agree with that."
• [Upon starting The Park's Crescendo Event]
  • "And... let's go, let's go!"
  • "And... let's go, let's go, let's go!"
  • "Run to the tower!"
  • "Somebody's gotta turn off the alarm!"
  • "Turn off the alarm!"
• [Upon reaching the gun table halfway through the Crescendo]
  • "Grab a gun!"
  • "Better guns!"
• [Turning off the alarm]
  • "Alarm is off!"
  • "Off!"
  • "I got it!"
• "Jesus, it was open season on everything out here."
• [Upon taking a Nightstick from a dead Riot Infected]
  • "I used to steal these from cops back in high school."
• "If my friends ever saw me usin' a cop's gun..."
• [Unused Line]
  • "Looks like the military took over."

The Cemetery

• "There's the freeway."
• "Anybody see an on ramp?"
• "We can get to it through here."
• "Freeway."
• [Response to Ellis' fear of ghosts]
  • "Ellis, you're carrying, like ten different guns."
• [Upon seeing the hash marks on the barricaded bedroom wall]
  • "Does this guy's scorecard mean what I think it means?"
  • "You think he was keeping track of zombies?"
• [Upon entering the Impound Lot]
  • "O-ho-ho-ho-ho, watch where you shoot!"
  • "Careful, carrrefullll..."
  • "You have GOT to be kidding me!"
  • "Do not shoot any of the cars!"
  • "What a nightmare."
• [If more than one car is shot]
  • How many of those cars are you gonna shoot?!
  • "If you wanna shoot cars, let's shoot cars!"
• [After reaching the freeway after the impound lot]
  • "Hey, I think we're gonna make it!"
  • "We made it, I can't believe we actually made it!"
  • "Finally up to the freeway."
  • "Get up here, get up here!"
• [Fighter jets blow up the freeway]
  • "OH, COME ON!"
  • "What the f-!"
  • "What the hell are they doing!?"
  • "Everybody ok?"
  • "Was that aimed at us?"
  • "Guess it's back off the freeway."
• [In response to Coach saying not to panic]
  • "You sure we shouldn't we just panic? I mean, I think panic was invented for just this sort of situation!"
• [If Nick was the first one to get out or the only one to get to the freeway after the bombs drop]
  • "They're blowing this bridge to cover a retreat, now if we wanna come with them we better hurry"
• [Unused Lines]
  • "It's a goddamn maze!"
  • "Which way?"

The Quarter

• [Upon seeing The Parade]
  • "Look, Ellis! A tractor."
  • "Looks like our milk run just became a marathon."
  • "Someone start the tractor."
  • "We can use that float to get across."
  • "You know what? We can use that float to get across."
• [When the tractor is in place]
  • "Our ride's here!"
• [Upon entering the sewers]
  • "I am not going in the se— Ah screw it! Let's go."
  • "Oh Christ, not the sewer."
  • "Ugh. What's that SMELL?"
• [In The Quarter's Safe Room, as bombs are being dropped]
  • "Christ, those guys are such assholes."
    [Alt] "Well, it's official. They're trying to kill US now."
  • "Looks like they've run out of bridges to bomb."
• "The bridge!"
• "We can get up to the bridge deck through here."
• [Unused lines]
  • "If things were different, I could really enjoy this place."
  • "We have to find the bridge again!"
  • "God, I love pool."
  • "Ok, anybody up for a game?"

The Bridge

• [In The Bridge's Safe Room]
  • Nick: "Before we run across this bridge right toward the people who've been dropping bombs on us, anyone wanna talk about a Plan B?"
  • Ellis: "I don't."
  • Coach: "No."
  • Nick: "Alright then, let's go."
  • [Unused Line]
    • "Ok, so we're on the wrong side of the river."
• [Alternate Line]
  • Coach: "Alright, alright, alright. We're gonna stroll across that bridge, and the army's gonna take care of us."
  • Nick: "Or, they're gonna line us up against the wall, and shoot us."
  • Coach: "Well, you're free to make yourself a new life right here in this room, Nick."
  • Nick: "Okay, alright, let's go."
• "Safety's on the other side of this bridge."
• "Let's lower that bridge."
• "I'm hitting it. Get ready!"
• [Responding to the military on the radio]
  • "Hello?"
  • "Ok, we're heading over now!"
• "Watch out for the hole!"
• "Watch out for Chargers on these ledges!" (2 versions)
• "Keep moving across the bridge!"
• "Watch your step."
• "Don't let the Tank punch you off the bridge."
• "Watch out for cars."
• "Don't get punched off!"
• "Get on top of the truck!"
• [When seeing the helicopter at finale]
  • "To the chopper!"
  • "Get to the chopper!"
  • "Chopper's starting, let's go!"
• [Unused Lines]
  • "Argh! Don't destroy the bridge!"
  • "They're blowing up the bridge!"
  • "We're on the bridge!" (2 versions)
  • "Woah! We're on the bridge!"
  • "We are on the bridge."
  • "Stop! We're on the bridge!"
  • "Chopper looks fixed, let's go!"
  • [In response to a question about why the bridge is being destroyed]
    • "To stop the zombies from crossing."
    • "To stop the zombies!"

Friendly Fire

• "Are you really gonna shoot the guy in a $3,000 suit? Come on!"
• "Are you really gonna shoot a guy in a $3,000 suit? Come on!"
• "You know, it's not alright you are shooting me!"
• "Never shoot me again!"
• "Do not shoot me!"
• "You are shooting me!" (2 versions)
• "Well thank you for ventilating my suit."
• "Why would you think shooting me is a good idea?"
• "Let's try shooting zombies instead of people, okay?"
• "You wanna watch where you're shooting?"
• "Damn! ...You suck at shooting."
• "You do not want to be shooting me."
• "Shoot me again, and I'll drop ya'."
• "You shoot me again, and I will drop you."
• "Shoot me again. Shoot me again, I dare ya'."
• "Stop shooting me!" (3 versions)
• "Stop - Shooting me, doesn't get us, anywhere!"
• "You do that again and I will bury you alive."
• "Can we not shoot each other, please?"
• "Can you stop shooting me?"
• "Can we stop shooting each other?" (2 versions)
• "Question: Can we not shoot each other?"
• "Can we not shoot each other?" (2 versions)
• "I don't know who started this shit, 'kay? But let's just stop the friendly fire right now."
• "I don't know who started this shit, but let's just stop the friendly fire right now, 'kay?"
• "Let's not mess this up by shooting each other, okay?"
• "Unless you want to be picking your teeth up off the floor, stop shooting me."
• "Stop shooting each other!"
• "I don't wanna hear any excuses, just stop shooting me!"
• "You do realize that you're shooting me right?"
• "You're shooting me again!"
• "Don't shoot each other!"
• [When The Tank is Nearby]
  • "NOT ME! SHOOT THE TANK!"
  • "Hey, shoot the TANK!"
  • "Agh, the TANK!"
  • "The Tank, hotshot! Shoot the Tank!"
  • "It's 12 ft tall, 6 ft wide. How are you shooting me?"
  • "It's the size of a truck, how are you missing?"
  • "Come on, shoot the TANK! Not me!"
• [Accused of Friendly Fire]
  • "If you'd looked out, you wouldn't get hit!"

Shot by Ellis

• "DUMBSHIT!"
• [Mocking Ellis]
  • "Y'all wanna stop shooting me?"
• "Jesus Christ, Ellis, like the goddamn zombies aren't bad enough."
• "Christ, Ellis, as if the zombies aren't bad enough."
• "Ellis, come on man!"
• "Hey, sport? Watch where you're shooting."

Shot by Coach

• "Coach, c'mon."
• "Coach, don't shoot me!"

Shot by Rochelle

• "Sweetheart? Don't shoot me."
• "Rochelle!" (2 versions)
• "Ro! Just, just stop, okay."

Scavenge

• [At the beginning of Scavenge Mode]
  • "Let's get some gas."
• [Pouring gas into the tank]
  • "Come on... Come-onnn..."
  • "Piece of shit gas, GET IN THE CAR!"
  • "How big is the tank in this thing?"
  • "Get. In. The. Tank!"
  • "Hurry up... hurry up..."
• [After winning a Scavenge Match]
  • "We're makin' it look easy!"

Community

Badwater Basin

• "We have to push what?" (2 versions)

Cold-theme line

• "Goddamn, it's cold."
• "Storm isn't gonna give up."
• "Ellis, we're not gonna have a snowball fight."
• "Ellis, don't look like you're having fun."

Train-theme lines

• "We need to get to the train station."
• "Hey, Ellis! Whoop whoop!"
• "All aboard, whoop whoop!"

Unused

These quotes appear in the game files but are not used in-game

• [Hearing a Special Infected]
  • "Is someone beating a horse?"
  • "What is that, is somebody beating a horse or what?"
  • "What the hell is that noise?"
  • "You hear that? I guess zombies weren't bad enough."
  • "You hear that?"
  • "Can you hear that?"
  • "What is that noise?"
  • "I have no idea what that noise is."
  • "Eh, something we're gonna have to kill."
• [Upon joining a game]
  • "Hello." (3 versions)
  • "Y'ello."
  • "I'm here."
  • "Ok, I'm here."
  • "We're all here."
    • (Used if he is the 4th Survivor to join)
• [Listed under lines for The Hotel, likely in response to caged Special Infected]
  • "Hey, football man, is this a relative of yours?"
  • "What's this thing in a cage?"
  • "How'd they have this in a cage already?"
  • "Did they know this was coming?"
  • "Look at that thing!"
  • "So that's a Charger, huh? I think he worked out that arm plenty, he should move on to back and legs."
  • "So that's a Charger, huh? You know what they say about zombies with one big arm."
  • "So that's a Jockey, huh? Cute little guy."
  • "So that's a Spitter, huh? Think she's single?"
  • "So that's a Boomer, huh? Y'know, it's sad to see an eating disorder get out of control like that."
  • "So that's a Hunter, huh? What's he gonna do, go for a jog at me?"
  • "So that's a Smoker, huh? Bet he's popular with the lady zombies."
  • "So that's a Tank, huh? Jesus, that thing is huge."
• "You know how many germs are on that thing?" (2 versions)
• "Ugh, it's like rotten eggs here. Does nobody else smell that?"
• "Ugh, what's that smell?"
• "Are we busting out or in?"
• "Over the bus!"
• "Zombies didn't take down this helicopter."
• "Oh, this is cosy."
• "Well this is bad."
• "Yes, I do know why they bury them above ground."
• "The city of the dead."
• "Well thank God for small favors."
• "Your mom's car." (2 versions)
• "To the shipyard!"
• "I love doing that."
• "I will never get tired of that."
• "I'll never get tired of that."
• "Crumbs? Really Coach, that's how you swear?"
• "Fifty beds in one room? What a shitty hotel."
• The boardwalk still smells like popcorn and this back alley still stinks like piss. [Possibly Dark Carnival]
• Of course it's full of zombies. The whole god damn world is full of zombies. See you in a few minutes. [Possibly used in conversation with military at bridge]
• You know what I like best about your stories, Ellis? The sound they make when they stop.
• "Because all you think about is ribs, Coach."
• I trust you. You look like a man who knows his donuts.
• HELICOPTER. It is a HELICOPTER. You call that thing a 'whirly-bird' one more time, I'll beat you SO bad, your sister's gonna wish she never gave birth to you. [Unused line from start of The Hotel in Dead Center campaign]
• Crumbs? Really, Coach? That's how you swear? [Unused line from The Hotel]
• No, Ellis, I've never seen anything like this. [Unused line from Atrium Finale, just before Survivors get into elevator]
• Hm. This'd be really awkward if I gave a shit about your feelings.
• Hey Ellis, you like taters?
• And we're gonna have to destroy this rubble pile.
• And we're gonna have to destroy this gate.
• Whoa! The walkway broke! [This line was likely used in the beta versions of the game where sometimes the walkways in the swamp would break]
• Let's use the monorail to get over that fence. [An unused Dark Carnival line from early The Coaster map]
• Somebody's in the control room!
• Hey, let us in!
• Open up.
• Don't make us shoot our way into the control room.
• Open the door now, you can drive and we'll all ride shotgun.
• Come on, man, help us.
• Are you going to help us out?
• What are you, an unfriendly hippie? I thought you all had to be friendly?
• Is there any way I could talk you into helping us?
• Okay, maybe we can help you. Ellis here is a mechanic.
• No one else is alive here, okay? There's gotta be some sort of deal we can work out.
• Just name it. Anything.
• I am going to regret saying this, but sure. What do you need?
• Okay, okay that's a start. What do you need?
• Why don't you just call for help now?
• Okay, fine, we'll put on the finale show.
• Okay, we'll do it. Sure.
• Why in the hell not, yes we'll do it.
• Wow, yeah. That's really cool. I'm sure Dusty will be honored.
• I bet he's got a working shower in there and he isn't using it.
• Always a stinking hippie. I swear to god, it always come back to making a stinking hippie happy.
• I don't think we have a choice.
• There better be gas in that tour bus.
• For once, I wish we would have just stumbled onto some cops.
• There's the bus!
• There's the tour bus! Get into the garage!
• Get to the garage!
• He kept his word! Let's go!
• Into the garage!
• Garage is open!
• Just go, just go, he isn't coming with us.
• Goodbye, my hippie friend!
• Goodbye, Mr. Hippie!
• We can jump down the elevator shaft!
• Down this shaft!
• ASS! Haaaaaaaaaaa!!!
• "One time, one time!"
• "Things could be worse."