Louis/Quotes and Captions

"I'm gonna teach your ass how to read." This article/section is typed directly as it is represented in-game and therefore may have spelling errors. Please do not correct spelling mistakes unless it is not as it appears in-game.

A list of Louis' Quotes and cut quotes, also known as Captions, in Left 4 Dead.

Intro

• [ Upon hearing an incoming horde ] "Oh shit, SHIT, SHIIT! THEY'RE COMING!"
• [ Upon startling the Witch ] "WHAT THE?!"
• [ While shooting the Witch ] "AHHHH! DIE! DIE! DIE!"
• [ While shooting the Witch ] "DO YOU NOT DIE?!"
• [ Calling out to a passing helicopter ] "Heeeey! We're over here! We're not infected! Down here! Dammit!"
• [ When pounced by the Hunter ]  "GET IT!"
• [ Asking Bill the attack plan for an incoming Tank ] "Run, or shoot? RUN OR SHOOT?"
• [ While running down an alleyway and pointing out a staircase to the rooftops ] "Get to the roof!"
• [ Upon dodging the Tank's rock throw ] "Heads up!"
• [ Upon reaching the safety of the roof ] "We made it...I can't believe we made it!"

General

• "Well, it can only get better, right?"
• "Humanity's gonna bounce right back - you watch!"
• "When things go back to normal, Zoey, Bill, I'm giving you both jobs. Francis, I'm gonna teach yo ass how to read."
• "Oh c'mon, cheer up, we're almost through."
• "Guys at the office used to laugh at me when I hit the rifle range at lunch. Ain't so damn funny now, is it?!"
• "How long were you in prison, Francis?"
• "They comin'! You guys ready?"
• "I...am bad. Ahhaha, I am bad! Yes I am! Whooo! That's right, let's call ourselves the Unstoppables!"
• [ Arrival to the finale ] "I knew we were going to make it!"
• "We're almost outta here." ( 2 versions )
• "[ Belch ] 'Scuse me."
• [ Rescue vehicle arrived ] "RUN!"
• "Let's get the hell outta here!"

The following are lines used on the PC "commands" and "responses" lists when (by default) typing Z or X.

"Yes" responses

• "I'm cool with that."
• "Yes."
• "Cool."
• "Okay."
• "Allright"
• "Yeah"

"No" responses

• "That's some country-ass bullshit!"
• "No way."
• "I said No!"
• "Nope."
• "Not a chance."
• "No."
• "No way man."
• "Uh uh."

"Hurrah" responses

• “BOOM-diah!"
• “WOOOOOO! Baby, aw riiiight!"
• “Hell yeah!"
• “Nothing can stop us!"
• “We are gonna be OK!"
• “They can`t stop us now!"
• “I-am bad. I AM BAD. YES I AM. WHOO!"
• "We're gonna be okay."
• “Nothing can stop us, you hear me, nothing!"
• "Nice job."

"Arrgh" responses

• “Oh no!"
• "Owww."

"Wait" responses

• "Hold up, lets wait here."
• "Chill, lets wait here."
• "Hold up, hold up!"

"Thank you" responses

• “Yo, thanks man."
• "Thanks. I owe you one."
• "Thanks, I owe you a big one."

"Let's go" commands

• "All right, let's go."
• "Time to move" (alternative that has a typo misspelling "Time" as "Tme)
• "Let's go."
• "Let's move, let's move!"
• "I really think we should keep moving."
• "Whaddya say we get moving?"
• "Let's go."

"Lead on" commands

• "You take the lead."

"Look" commands

• “Safe house up ahead!"
• “Oh, man. Look at this!"
• “Look at this."
• "Oh man, you better look at this."
• “Check this out."
• “Over there."
• “Look!"

"Taunt" commands

• [ loud evil laugh ] (3 versions)
• "Yeah, baby! Yeah!"
• "[ loud evil laugh ] Yeah!"
• “Who hoo. That's right!"
• "That's right!"
• "Alright!"
• "Hell yeah! HELL YEAH!"
• "Oh yeah! Who's your momma? Who's your daddy?"

Health related

Looking at Pills

• “Grab some pills over here!"
• "Pills here!"

Taking Pills

• "Grabbin' pills."
• "I'd better grab everything I can."
• "All I know is I'm grabbin PILLS!"

Giving Pills

• “Here. Take this."
• "Take this."
• "Go ahead and take this."
• "Here, man. Take this."
• “Here, I got something for you."
• "It's not a time to be hero, just take it!"
• "Take it, you can pay me back later."

Taking First Aid Kit

• “Grabbing First Aid."
• "First Aid."

Zoey Dies

• "Damn, Zoey.." (chokes up)
• "Zoey! My plans! MY PLANS!"
• "Zoey! Goddammit!"
• "GODDAMMIT ZOEY WAKE UP!"

Bill Dies

• "Bill! Aw, shit!'
• "This shit was not in my plans!"
• “Oh shit, Shit, SHIT!"
• “NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Francis Dies

• "Francis! No!"
• "Jesus, Francis, no! Francis!"

Medium Health

• [ To Zoey ] "Zoey, any chance I could get some First-Aid?"
• [ To Francis ] "Francis, mind spottin' me a Med-kit?"
• [ To Bill ] "Bill, could I get some First-Aid?"

Critically Low Health

• "I ain't dyin' man, death gonna have to pry me off the Earth."
• "If I go down, go on without me—actually no, wait, save my ass."
• "Any of you guys cub scouts? Surprisingly ineffective at preparing you for some shit like this!"
• "I ain't got time to bleed! Oh hell, I am bleeding!"
• "Oh man...every damn thing hurts."
• "I don't wanna die. I know nobody wants to die, but...I'm like fifty times that!"
• "At this rate...I...I'm not gonna make it..."
• "Man, this hurts."
• "I'm not kidding. We need to find me some First-Aid." 

Incapacitated

• "I'm down!"
• "Ah! I'm down!"
• "Shit! I'm down!"

Asking for Help

• "I need help right the HELL NOW!"
• “Can't anyone hear me? I need some help over here!"
• “What part of help do you not understand?! HELP!"
• "Damn it! I need some help!"
• “Need a little help over here!"
• “Can't you hear me?! I need some help!"
• “I NEED some HELP!"

Healing Self

• “Wait up while I heal."
• "Hold up, I gotta heal."
• "Cover me."
• "Watch my back."

Zoey has Low Health

• "Go on and heal up, girl."
• "Zoey, you really oughta heal."

Bill has Low Health

• “Maybe you oughta heal up."
• "Hey Bill. Might be a good time to patch yerself up."

Francis has Low Health

• “Hey tough guy, heal up."
• “Francis, you should use your med-kit."

Being Revived

• "Yo, thanks, man."

If Zoey is Incapacitated outside Safe Room

• "Zoey! Oh, no. What do we do?"

If Bill is Incapacitated outside Safe Room

• "Bill! C'mon guys, lets go help 'im."

If Francis is Incapacitated outside Safe Room

• "C'mon, aren't we gonna help him?"

Hanging From Ledge

• "Help me, I need some help!"
• "Don't you hear me? I need some help!"
• "I need some help over here!"

Reviving Survivor

• "I'm no doctor, but you're not dead yet. Let's get you back up, okay?"
• [ When Bill says "Who are you?" if Louis helps him up ] "It's me, Louis! Come on, man."
• "How bad are you?"
• "You'll be okay."
• "You gonna make it?"
• [ When a survivor is on last down ] I can help you up, but Jesus, you shouldn't be alive, man. If we don't find you some first aid, you're not gonna survive another hit.

Healing Survivor

• “This should last until we're safe."
• "Hold on, this'll help."
• “Hold up, I'm gonna heal you."

Weapon related

Seeing Pipe Bomb

• “Pipe bomb here!"
• “Pipe bomb!"

Taking Pipe Bomb

• "This shit looks real jury-rigged."
• "Whoa, this'll blow some up!"
• "Grabbing a pipe bomb."

Seeing Molotov

• “Molotovs here!"
• “Molotovs over here!"

Taking Molotov

• "Grabbing a molotov."
• "Molotov..."

Throwing

• "GRENADE!" (3 versions)
• "Fire in the hole!" (2 versions)
• "Look out, grenade!
• “DUCK AND COVER!"

Finding Ammo Pile

• “Ammo here!"

Finding Weapon(s)

• “Weapons!"
• “Weapons over here!"

Taking Pistol

• "Grabbing an extra pistol."
• "Extra pistol? Might come in handy!"

Taking Submachine Gun

• "Oh, MAN! This is just like Counter-Strike!"

Taking Assault Rifle

• "This rifle is MINE!"
• "Oh HELL yes!"
• "This big rifle is now MINE!"

Seeing Minigun

• "Now *this* is a big-ass machine gun!"
• "Man, check this gun out!"
• “Man, I always wanted to fire one of these things!"
• "Check out this gun up here!"

Taking Shotgun

• "Oh, I'm grabbin' a shotgun!"
• "Got the shotgun."
• "I'll take this shotgun."

Taking Hunting Rifle

• “This is a nice rifle."

Other

• [ When picking up a crowbar ] "Man, I feel like I'm Gordon Freeman!"
• [ when picking up SIG SG 552] "Oh, MAN! This is just like Counter-Strike!"

Infected related

Boomer

• [ Spotting a Boomer ] "BOOMER!"
• [ Vomited on by Boomer ] "Ewww! agh! ugh! (spits)"
• "(spits) shit!"

Hunter

• [ When Hunter is in area ] "Careful now. There's a Hunter around."
• [ When pinned down by a Hunter ] "Ahhh! Get off me! Get it off me!"
• [ Spotting a Hunter ] "HUNTER!"
• [ Hunter pounces survivor ] "Hunter on Zoey/Bill/Francis!"

Smoker

• [ Being pulled by Smoker ] "No, no, NO , NOOOOOO!!!"
• [ Choked by Smoker ] "Help!"
• [ Spotting a Smoker ] "SMOKER!"

Tank

• [ Spotting Tank ] "TANK!"
• [ "Getting Crush by the Tank" ] "GET THIS THING OFF ME!! AH SHIT AH SHIT STOP THIS THING!! IT'S CRUSHING ME!! AHHH IT'S CRUSHING ME!! SHOOT IT, I CAN'T BREATH, SHOOT IT!!

Witch

• [ Hearing Witch ] "There's a witch around here!"
• "I hear a damn Witch!"
• "Hold on hold on, Shh. That's a Witch!"
• [ Telling Survivors to kill the lights ] "Lights off!"
• "Kill the light man."
• [ Responding to an angry Witch ] "That Witch ain't gonna hold still much longer!"
• "Oh man, do not piss the Witch off."
• "Stop freaking out the damn Witch!"
• "The Witch is getting up!!"
• "Will you stop that shit? The witch ain't gonna sit still much longer."

Horde

• [ When Francis calls the Infected vampires ] "They're not vampires man they zombies!"
• [ After alerting horde ] "Here they come!"
• "They're coming!"
• "Incoming!"

Killing Special Infected

• “Got it!"(2 versions)
• “Dead!"(2 versions)
• "Killed it!"(2 versions)

Another Survivor Kills Special Infected

• "Oh hell yes!"
• "POW!"
• "Nice shot!"(2 versions)
• "Whooo! Nice baby!"
• "Great shot!"
• "Whoa, nice shot!"
• "Oh man! Great shot!"
• "Nice one!"
• "That was great!"

Level Specific

No Mercy

• [ Upon reaching the street in the apartments ] "Subway station's just around the corner!"
• [ Upon reaching the pawn shop ] "Safe house in the pawn shop!"
• [ Upon entering the sewers ] "This is not going to be sanitary..."
• "Well into the sewers we go"
• [ When climbing up the stairs in Mercy Hospital ] "Were they saving people or killing them?"
• "This doesn't smell like a hospital..."
• [ In response to Bill's hatred of stairs ] "It's good for you, Bill! Cardio!"
• "Stairs are a good workout!"

• [ Upon reaching the 28th floor ] "We need to find access to the roof!"
• "We need to find roof access."
• [ Upon reaching the rooftop ] "There's the landing pad."

Crash Course

• [ Before starting the Crescendo Event on The Alleys ] "Someone's gotta fire this big ass machine gun."
• [ Upon seeing the pilot's corpse ] "Poor guy. He tried to help us."
• [ At the start of Crash Course ] "I've got a bad feeling about this...Oh, it passed. I think we're gonna be just fine."
• [ At the start of Crash Course ] Francis: "You're still wearin' that tie, Louis? What, you got a meeting? Hah hah!"
  • Louis: "That's funny, Francis, why don't you take your mustache, and your little vest and your chaps find yourself a parade?"
    • Francis: "I don't see whats wrong with vests..."

• [ When starting the generator ] "C'mon, c'mon, you damn generator, start!"
• [ When coming across an alley in Truck Depot Finale ] "Hey Francis, wasn't this the alley you were born in?"
  • Francis: "Yeah, hahaha. Is this the one you're gonna die in?"

• “Team building exercise every Tuesday. Man, they ought to try this zombie bullshit."
• “Well I guess we're walking."
  • Francis: "I hate walking."
    • Louis: "But five minutes ago, you hated flying."
      • Francis: "And it turns out I was right about that."

• “On the bright, look at all the great scenery we would've missed if we flew over this in a helicopter, huh."
• [ Upon seeing a magazine rack ]"Wall Street Weekly. There's no more Wall Street Weekly. Damn!"
• “So I'm thinking, either we're immune from all this or we're getting real lucky.
• [ When he sees the Recycling factory ]"We get out of this alive, I can't wait to have to recycle shit again."
• [ When coming across a sign that says For Lease ] Francis: "For Lease. Anybody got a pen? I wanna write this number down".
• [ Alternate line ] Francis: "For Lease".
  • Louis: "I'll be damned, Francis! When'd you learn to read?"

Death Toll

The Turnpike

• “Let's get up that ladder!"
• [ In car-clogged tunnel ] "Man, I don't like this one damn bit."
• [ Barricade blocking the path ] "The tunnel's blocked!"

The Drains

• "This must be the sewer drainage pipes"
  • Francis: "How the hell do you know that?"
    • Louis: "Interesting true story: In 1975, the local township d-"
      • Francis: "You know what? I just realizedI don't care. Lead on."

• "We have to lower that platform!"
• "That'll seal the lock."

The Church

• [ At train yard exit ] "We can cross up here."
• [ On road ] "Almost to Riverside."
• “Church still got its lights on."
• [ During "Church Guy" Scene ] "Mister, if one of us gets killed out here, I'm gonna shoot my way in there and beat you to death with my gun!"
• "Sir, PLEASE! We're not infected!"

The Town

• "If you ignore the crazy guy and the zombies, nice town."
• "If we get to the river, we can find a boat."
• "The Riverside's a bust. Let's just get to the river."
• "Goddamn it, there's gotta be some place that held out."

Boathouse Finale

• [ After exiting first house ] "Careful, this is wide open."

Dead Air

• [ Noticing the ruined city in The Greenhouse ] "Man, this will take forever to rebuild."
• [ Activating The Crane Crescendo Event ] "Stay positive, guys! I got a good feeling about this!"
• [ Leaving Safe house in The Terminal ] "They really trashed this place."
• "Man, they really trashed this airport."
• [ When plane crashes on the runway ] "Holy shit!"

Blood Harvest

•  [ Reaching the trailer after a small bridge ] Francis: "Nice place."
  • Louis: "Bet your country-ass does like this trailer."
• Bill: "This side passage better lead somewhere!" / Francis: "This better go through."
  • Louis: "Stay positive, guys! I got a good feeling about this!"
• [ Talking to the soldier via radio ] "We're good to go, sir."

The Sacrifice

Intro

• "Military jail, a train ride, and now... back to walking?"
• "Hey, Bill! Look, there's a boat! Hell, there's boats everywhere."
  • Bill: "Nope. Gotta be a sailboat."
    • Louis: "Why's that?"
      • Bill: "I ain't stoppin' every fifteen minutes to go look for gas."
• "I think she's mad at Bill." (Referring to Zoey)
• "No shit, Sherlock. I'm pissed too!"
• "We GOTTA be getting close to the Gulf. I can almost smell the salt water."
• "I got a good feeling about this island."
• "Zoey, come on. We have to work together."
• "Francis am I alone in hating boats?"

The Docks

[ Approaching traincar with Tank inside ]

• "Man, a tank in a train."
• "Only way is through this car."

[ Opening train door with Tank inside ]

• "You all sure no one else doesn't want to open this door?"
• "I'll open this, but I'm not going to be happy."
• "Get ready, I don't have a good feeling about this."
• "Stay positive guys, we can handle this."
• "Man, why am I always opening these things?"

[ Inside Tank's traincar ]

• "Hey Francis what do they make at the tank factory?"
• "Tanks on a train."
• "Ewww! This is some gross ass shit."

The Barge

[ Safe Room ]

• [ Translating the Japanese graffiti ] "Let me see...uh...Taki...I love you...Goodbye."
  • [ In response to Francis asking how he did that ] "I interned in Tokyo."
    • [ In response to Francis asking how to say "Bill's an idiot" ] “Bill-san, baka desu."
      • [ In response to Francis complimenting him ] “Francis, baka desho."
• "We're gonna find that sail boat right around the corner. You just watch."
• "Thinking positive got me where I am, Francis."
• "Even if it does go back to normal, they're not lettin' us back in. I think this island's the only chance we got."
• [ in joking response to Francis's insinuations that Louis could be a serial killer ] "I can't wait to wear your skin as a pretty dress, Francis"

[ Climbing the gravel hill ]

• "I can barely make it up here!"
• "Pile of crap here."
• "Gravel here!"
• "This is like running in place."
• "Lookout! Crows!"
• "Ahhh... dammit... the crows are bringin' the zombies!"
• "Everyone into the chute!"

Port Finale

[ Safe Room ]

• "Never thought I'd be happy to be heading to a deserted island."
• "You know what I miss? Checking email. Seeing what's new."
• "One thing I'm not gonna miss about civilization? I.T. I will never have to tell another human being to reboot their damn computer."
  • "But you know, as long as I have a Molotov I can make a firewall!"
    • "Get it Francis? A firewall?"
• "Hey, Zoey. We're actually headed to an island. Top ten desert island movies. Go."
• "No more internet, no more Xbox, no more nothing..."
• "So... once we're on a boat... can zombies swim?"
• "Bill, when we get to the keys, you got an island in mind?"
• "Punk ass island bitch better watch yourself once Louis and Francis on the case."

[ Bridge available ]

• "We did it! To the bridge!"
• "Get to the bridge!"

[ Bridge stopped ]

• "Oh shit! The bridge stopped!"
• "The bridge stopped!"

[ When sacrificing himself ]

• "Stay there, don't worry about me none!"
• "I'll handle this! Cover me!"
• "Good luck you guys! I got this."
• "I'm gonna miss you guys!"
• "Don't worry, I'll be fine! Stay there!"
• "I swear to god I'm coming back!"
• "Stay there! I'll be back in two minutes!"
• "I love you guys!"
• "If I go down, don't come after me!"
• "Hey guys? Remember when I said don't come after me? I was kidding, can someone come get me? HELP!!!!"

[ Francis sacrifices himself ]

• "Thanks Francis!"
• "I'm gonna... I'm gonna miss that guy."
• "FRANCIS!"

[ Zoey sacrifices herself ]

• "Oh my god! Zoey!"
• "Zoey! You saved us!"
• "Ah Damnit, Zoey's dead!"
• "Not Zoey!"

[ Bill sacrifices himself ]

• "Bill! Bill! You saved us!"
• "No! We're gonna leave him behind!"
• "Bill! Goddamnit, I'm going to miss you!"
• "Bill! Bill! You can't be dead! You can't be."
• "BILLLLLLLL!"

The Passing

Intro

• “You're right, Francis. He's not friendly. I think Bill would have shot him by now."

The Port

• "I'm gonna miss them. It was nice to see some normal people again."
  • Zoey: Don't worry, they won't be the last.

• [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I'm gonna miss those guys."
• [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I'm gonna miss them. It was nice to see normal people again...except that Nick guy."
• [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I think we're gonna see more of that guy."
  • Zoey: "Where? At the Mall?"

• "Bye Coach! Keep it positive!"
• I know you're gonna make it to New Orleans, Ellis! Go, Ellis, go!"
• "I got a good feeling about them...I think they're gonna be ok!"
• "Bye Coach! Bye Ro! Bye Ellis! Bye...what's your name."
• "Man, I feel like I'm Gordon Freeman!"
• "I heard there's a military base just south of here."
• "Zombies are driving trucks?"
• [ After killing a Tank, said two different ways ] "That...is for Bill!"

Friendly Fire

• [ When shot ] "Do I look like one of them?"
• "Hey man, that hurt!"
• "Ow, man! Ow! Why you shootin' me?!"
• "Watch where you're shooting!"
• "Oh, what the hell? Why you shootin' me?!"
• "Ah! Will you knock it off?"
• "Whoa, whoa! Hey! Don't shoot, don't shoot me!"
• "OOOW!! Mother—"
• "Look at my face! Do I look like them?"
• "Ow, would you knock it off?!"
• "Hey man, that's not cool."
• "Man, what the hell? Quit shooting me!"
• "You know I'd appreciate it if you'd STOP SHOOTING ME!"
• "I will shoot you back next time."
• "Whoa, whoa! Don't shoot it's me!"
• [ When shot by Zoey ] "You gotta stop that shit, Zoey!"
• "Zoey!"
• [ When shot by Bill ]
  • "Old man, stop shooting me!"
  • "Whoah whoah whoah! Jesus, Bill, what are you doing?!"
  • "William, come on man."
  • "Watch it, Bill!"
  • "Bill!" (3 versions)
• [ If shot again ] "I cannot believe you shot me again!"
• [ When shot by Francis ]
  • "Francis, that's my ASS you're shooting!"
  • "FRANCIS! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
  • "Go on! Do it one more time, fat man!"
  • "Francis!" (2 versions)

Cut lines

No Mercy

• [ Intro ] "I used to take the subway to Mercy Hospital. Grab the red line, a transfer, and two stops. When this gets back to normal, I'm never gonna complain about that transfer again."
• "Can't this thing move any faster?"
• "Man, you CANNOT give up."
• "Should be around here."
• "Man, why'd you shoot the car?!"
• "Don't shoot the car!"
• "Man, I pressed the button!"
• "I'll call the elevator."
• "Get ready, I called the elevator."
• "Get ready, I pressed the elevator.

Death Toll

• [ Intro ] "Me and my family used to go camping down by the lake. That's where we were heading...only, it wasn't Momma's cookin' waiting for us at the end of this trip."
• "But we heard gunshots less than an hour ago! There's GOTTA be someone left!"
• "Is he paddling the boat in with his damn hands?"
• "Gunfire means people. We gotta hurry!"
• "We have to get across the bridge!"
• "Wow! That was cool... Oh wait, how do we get across?"
• "Now that's a damn fireball!"
• "We have to find another way."
• "Hit the button."
• "Riverside! The military's dug in there! Shipping out refugees."
• "Riverside! At least we're going the right way."
• "Hey, Hartford Mining! This should take us to Riverside!"
• "They shoulda kept movin'..."
• "We have to lower that platform!"
• "I don't think getting to Riverside helped."
• "This shit seemed cooler in movies."
• "Graveyards used to spook me a little."
• "There I was wishin' I was in Riverside."
• "Well, looks like we ain't gonna find any help in Riverside."
• "I could see coming back here once this is over."
• "Does anybody know what the hell he's talking about?"
• "I'm getting a seriously bad vibe off this guy."
• "Anyone else sick of arguing with the lunatic?"
• "I think I'd rather take my chances with this guy than die on the shore."
• "Dunno if I trust him. Guess we ain't got much of a choice, though."
• "Boat man, get your fat ass over here."

Dead Air

• [ Intro ] "We were gonna take the roof tops to the airport. It was supposed to be about a mile to the terminal. Longest damn mile of my life."
• "Terry's dead. How can we help?"
• "We ain't Terry, man. You need refuelin', right?"
• "I'm a little scared, never been in a plane before."
• "Hey! If we refuel you, can you fly us out of here?"
• "You're a pilot? Can you fly us out?"
• "I see it. Give us a second to get ready."
• "I see the button. Give us a minute to get ready."

Blood Harvest

• [ Intro ] "We started out on a hill top. Far as I was concerned, that's where we should've stayed. Instead, we headed to a farm house on the bad side of the tracks. Nowadays, though, I guess it's all on the bad side of the tracks."
• "Yes! My God, yes! You didn't get me, did you? No you did not! Louis beat all your asses!"
• "I have no idea how this is going to work."
• "Never thought I'd say it, but I miss the city."
• "We. Are. SAVED!
• "We got four immune here!"
• "I am alive! You hear that? I am breathing and it feels good!"

Miscellaneous

• "You do those tattoos yourself, Francis? It'd explain all the misspellings."
• "When this is over with? I'm buyin' all three of you mansions."
• "Bill, would you please say one positive thing before I shoot you?"
• "You were born a crusty old bastard, weren't you, Bill?"
• "Can zombies swim?"
• "I had a nice house before this. A 401k... Dammit! I had a really nice 401k!"
• "Man, I do wish I'd bought stock in ammo manufacturers now."
• "Look at the bright side: overpopulation? Bad economy? All fixed now."
• "When things go back to normal, Zoey, Bill - I'm giving you both jobs. Francis, I'll help you sign your fat ass back up on welfare."
• "Oh no, I'm straight."
• "Francis, you gotta lighten up, buddy."
• "Stay frosty."
• "Francis, don't hate me for being beautiful."
• "Cocked and locked. Let's show these things how we cure infection."
• "Think of it like this, Bill: How could it get any worse?"
• "Yeah, yeah, there you go!"
• "ZOMBIES. Say it, Francis."
• "How many damn times are you gonna shoot me?"
• "Fat man, what the HELL is wrong with you?"
• "Zoey, you know you're shooting me, right?"
• "Ow! I ain't damn bulletproof."
• "Man, I hope I never get on your bad side."
• "There's something over there."
• "There is definitely something over there."
• "Kilt your bitch ass. Bitch."
• "Sit yer steroid ass down, bitch."
• "Yeah, yeah, Louis just shot yer bitch ass."
• "How you like that? Funky-ass bitch."
• "Punk-ass bitch."
• "Oh it's BITCH apocalypse now, bitch."
• "When all this is over, you think they'll call us heroes? We are savin' humanity, right? I mean, a very small, four-person chunk of it, but still."
• "Yeah, I won. Yeah, yeah."
• "Hoody-ass bitch."
• "Funky-smellin' bitch."
• "Set yer bitch ass on fire!"
• "I don't know, this shit look real jerry-rigged."
• "Are you out of your damn mind!"
• "ARE YOU INSANE?"
• "What the hell was that?"
• "Did you hear that?"
• "Are you seeing this?"
• "Oh come the hell on."
• "Zombies might have done us a favor, really. Think about it. We get to start over now."
• "My last life? District IT manager at Fischer Platt. Not good practice for zombie killing, you know?"
• "Folks I was with before you three, wouldn't keep movin'. Figured they could wait it out. They couldn't."
• "I think I just discovered a cure for infection. Lead."
• "Infected or not - they don't like bullets."
• "Smile when it hurts the most. That's my philosophy."
• "Winning isn't everything. Wantin' to win is."
• "We'll beat 'em 'cause we're better than them. Period."
• "Humanity ain't beat, it's just takin' a breather."
• "We'll be laughin' about it when we get to the other side."
• "Even I can't make lemonade out of this shit."
• "I guess I'm just a glass-half-full guy."
• "Ahhh, probably for the best."
• "Alright, that makes us even."