Nick/Quotes

A list of Nick's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

Intro

 * [ Responding to Coach's complaints about climbing stairs in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Come on, Coach. Maybe the helicopter...maybe it's made of chocolate."
 * [ Seeing how the helicopters flee the area in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Looks like there's been a change of plans..."

General

 * "We got a safe house!"
 * [ Waiting for the other Survivors to get into the safe room ] "You do NOT want to make me come out there for ya!"
 * [ When the survivors finish a level ] "I'm starting to like you guys!"
 * "You guy's ain't so damn bad!"
 * "Take that, you mealy-mouthed bastards!"
 * "And that is how you do it!"
 * [ When two survivors or fewer survive a level, or if all survivors are low on health at the end ] "That was too close..."
 * [ At the beginning of a chapter ] "I'm in the middle of nowhere..."
 * "What the hell was this guy doing?"
 * "Hey Ellis, you like taters?"
 * "You sure we shouldn't just panic? I mean, I think panic was invented for just this sort of situation."
 * "Whatever you say, Farmer Joe."
 * "We're the four riders of the goddamn apocalypse!"

Negative responses

 * "This is all going to hell!"
 * "Candyasses!"
 * "TITS!"

Health related

 * [When in low health] "I "Really screwed the pooch back there."
 * [ When he grabs pills ] "Can always use these."
 * "Ah, a little pick me up."
 * [ When incapacitated] "I can't do this on my own, need some help!"
 * [ When healing another Survivor ] "Now don't waste this by getting pounced on or something."
 * "Let Doctor Nick fix ya up."
 * Don't worry, i've done this before.
 * "I should probably save this for me, but...what the hell."
 * [ When healing Rochelle or Ellis] "Don't tell the others...I'm only doing this for you." (in a low voice)
 * [ When low on life ] "Don't this beat all? I'm about to die..."
 * "God dammit god dammit god... dammit!"
 * "What was I thinking coming down here?"
 * "I'm not going to make it much longer, my friends."
 * "If I go, you guys are gonna miss me!"
 * "I have seriously felt better!"
 * "Pull yourself together, man. You're (grunts in pain) fallin' apart!"
 * "This is not - (grunts in pain) - how it's gonna end."
 * "I am sick...and tired...of being sick and tired."
 * [ From the Zombie Survival Guide trailer/When low on health ] "I have not... come this far... to die now!"
 * "I am not going to die in this city"
 * [ When reviving another player ] "Get up, get up, get up!"
 * "Aw shit, get up, get up!"
 * "Don't worry, I'll get your ass out of this mess."
 * [ When Rochelle revives him ] "Thanks, Ro."
 * [ When reviving another survivor  ] "We...I need you a little longer."
 * [ After healing ] "Ah. Better."
 * [ Reviving someone on their second down ] "You are messed up - if you don't get yourself healed up, that's it."
 * "You seriously cannot go down again, 'kay? 'Cause if you do, you're not going to make it."
 * "You're starting to worry me."
 * "I'm gonna get you up, but you go down again, that's it."
 * "We can't afford to lose you...yet."
 * [ When a Survivor dies ] "Ahhh, SHIT!"
 * [ When Rochelle dies ] "There goes repopulating the Earth."
 * "Rochelle, aw shit."
 * "Good night, Rochelle."
 * "I can think of two other people I would have rather seen go first."
 * [ When Coach dies ] "Aww....Coach..."
 * "Later, Coach."
 * "Shit, Coach...I'll miss ya."
 * "Goddamn it, Coach, what'd you leave me with?"
 * You were a hell of a man, Coach.
 * [ When Ellis dies ] "Ellis...aww...Ellis..."
 * "Ellis, I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did."
 * "Y'know all those things I said about you, Ellis? I was joking..."
 * [ When low on health in Hard Rain ] "Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat."
 * "What the hell were we thinking stopping here?"
 * "Easy there, fireball. Let me get you up."
 * "Guys, I seem to have slipped!"
 * "Try again, little man."
 * "Is this some kind of sick joke?"
 * "I call foul."
 * "What an ass-clown."
 * [ Reviving Everyone ]
 * "What's your name, here you go."
 * [ Inside the Rescue Closet ] "You know I'm going to be a big help. Just get me out of here!"
 * "I'm no use to anyone in here, get me out of here!"

Weapon related

 * [ Axe ] "A freaking axe!"
 * [ Frying Pan ] "Gonna bonk some heads with this!"
 * "A skillet!"
 * "This'll work."
 * [ Molotov ] "Grabbing a Molotov."
 * [ Bile Bomb ] "That can't be a bottle of puke, is it?"
 * "I can't believe I just said that."
 * "Puke in the hole!"
 * "Fight amongst yourselves!"
 * "Is that a bottle of puke?"
 * [ Chainsaw ] "SUCK ON THIS!"
 * "DIE, DIE!"
 * "YEAH! DIE!"
 * [ Explosive Ammunition ] "Grabbin' some frag rounds!"
 * "Explosive rounds here!"
 * [ Incendiary Ammunition ]
 * "Grabbin' fire bullets!"
 * "Let's start some fires, people!"
 * [ Grenade Launcher ] "Time to make some zombie soup."
 * "Hell yeah, Grenade launcher!"
 * [ Crowbar ] "I cannot WAIT to find a crate."
 * [When throwing pipe bomb] "Pipe bomb out!"
 * "Chase this you zombie bastards!"
 * [ Upon picking up a Nightstick or Baseball Bat ] "I'm gonna whack the shit outta something with this."
 * [ Upon finding weapons ] "Everybody grab a weapon!"
 * "Weapons over here."
 * [ Finding a Magnum or picking up a cricket bat ] "Niiiiiiice!"
 * [ Upon picking up Baseball Bat ] "This brings back some good memories."

Infected related
"Shoot him! Shoot him!"
 * [ Jimmy Gibbs Jr. ] "God DAMN you, Jimmy Gibbs, Jr!"
 * [ Fallen Survivor (Unused) ] "Is that a survivor?"
 * "Did that zombie just drop something?"
 * "That zombie dropped something!"
 * [ Clown ] "Kill every clown you see!"
 * "Kill the clown, he's attracting more zombies!"
 * "Kill the clown!"
 * "That squeaking is driving the zombies crazy!"
 * "Shoot the clown!"
 * [ CEDA ] "Hazmat guys!"
 * "Guess those suits don't stop bites."
 * "Are those guys fireproof?"
 * [ Riot Infected ] "Those zombies are wearing armor?"
 * "Shoot the armored zombies in the back!"
 * [ The Hunter ] "Scrawny little bitch I'm gonna kill."
 * "Pay attention, Hunter's around."
 * [ The Charger ] "Hillbilly!"
 * "Overalls!"
 * "One Arm!"
 * "WE GOT A CHARGER!"
 * "Shoot the big guy pounding me into the ground!"
 * "Can someone shoot this goddamn thing?!?"
 * "This thing is beating my ass!"
 * "Kill this goddamn thing!"
 * "Charger's got me!"
 * "Keep your eyes peeled, I hear a Charger."
 * [ The Boomer ] "You hear that Boomer? Don't let him spew on you."
 * "Boomer around. Don't shoot him if he's near me! OKAY?"
 * "Goiter man!"
 * "Aunt Bee."
 * "Fat guy!"
 * "Fatty!"
 * "God damn it! I am covered in vomit again."
 * "I'm blind."
 * "Ahhh, this is some nasty shit."
 * [ The Smoker ] "Shoot the tongue! Shoot the tongue!"
 * "Smoker's GOT ME!!!"
 * "Freaking tongue!?"
 * "What the? Ahh, gross shit."
 * "TONGUE!"
 * "The smoking thing!"
 * [ The Spitter ]"Green thing!"
 * "Neck!"
 * "Hot stuff coming!"
 * "We got goo coming!"
 * "Fire spit coming!"
 * "There's a Spitter around."
 * "I got hit by the burning goo shit."
 * "Ugh, what in the hell did that thing just do?"
 * What is this shit on me?"
 * [ The Tank ] "I hope that's not bullet proof."
 * "We are screwed."
 * "Maybe if we don't move it won't see us."
 * "Okay, that's reason to panic."
 * "What in the hell sign of the apocalypse is that?"
 * "Freaking Tank is killing me!"
 * "Mother of Mercy! This thing is killing me!"
 * "Do you see this big giant thing on me?!"
 * "HOLY SHIT! BIG FREAKING ZOMBIE!"
 * "We have a problem!"
 * "WE GOT A TANK!"
 * "You Shoot the Tank!"
 * [ The Jockey ]
 * "Little guy!"
 * "Little freak!"
 * "Kill this Jockey on me!"
 * [ After lighting several Infected on fire ] "Smells like dinner!"
 * [ When he hears a Hunter ] "You hear that Hunter?"
 * "Pay attention, there's a Hunter around."
 * "Scrawny Little Bitch I'm gonna Kill!"
 * [ When pummeled by Charger ] "(scared) Aah, Charger's got me!"
 * "Kill this beast, guys!"
 * "Shoot that Charger!"
 * "Shoot the big guy pounding me into the ground!"
 * [ When the horde is coming ] "This is why we've got guns!"
 * "God damn, its gettin' good!"
 * [ When he sees a Charger ] "Look out now! Charger!"
 * [ When Charger grabs Ellis ] "Charger... Ellis!"
 * [ Upon seeing a Tank ] "Shoot the Tank!"
 * "Everyone, shoot the Tank!"
 * "YOU! Shoot the Tank!"
 * "Tank inbound!"
 * "Get ready, we got a Tank!"
 * "Hold steady! Tank!"
 * [ When he is covered by Boomer's bile ] "Aw, Goddammit!"
 * "Urgh! This is nasty shit!"
 * "Uh, dammit. I am covered - In vomit - Again."
 * "I'm blind!"
 * [ When jumped by the Jockey ] "Get this thing off my back!"
 * "Get it off me!"
 * "Kill this Jockey on me!"
 * [ When stepping into the Spitter's acid ] "God dammit, that hurts!"
 * "What is this shit on me?"
 * "I got hit by the burnin' goo shit!"
 * [ Seeing Riot Infected ] "Those zombies are wearin' armor!"
 * [ When he hears a Jockey ] "One of those little Jockey bastards around."
 * [Upon hearing a Witch] "Heh, that sounds like my ex-wife."
 * [When a Jockey is riding a Survivor] "Ten bucks says he takes them to the right."
 * [ Seeing a Tank on Dead Center ] "Guys? We have a problem!"
 * "If we don't move, maybe it won't see us..."
 * "Is someone beating a horse?"
 * "A crying woman. What do you think, she's sad the mall's closed?"
 * "So that's a Charger, huh? I think he worked out that arm plenty. He should move onto back and legs."
 * "So that's a Charger, huh? Heh. You know what they say about zombies with one big arm..."
 * "So that's a Jockey, huh? Cute little guy."
 * "So that's a Spitter, huh? You think she's single?"
 * "So that's a Boomer, huh? You know, it's sad to see an eating disorder get out of control like that."
 * "So that's a Hunter, huh? What's he gonna do-go for a JOG at me?"
 * "So that's a Smoker, huh? Bet he's popular with the lady zombies."
 * "ELLIS! Leave that Witch alone."
 * [ When confronted with a Hazmat Infected ] "Guess those suits don't stop bites."
 * "Let's find another way. This suit's flammable."
 * "Watch out for the... the big fat thing!"

Dead Center

 * "I'm Nicholas... Nick."
 * "Name's Nick, but don't bother learning it 'cause I ain't sticking around much longer."
 * [ If Rochelle has the most kills by the time you get to the elevator ] “You did good out there Rochelle.”
 * [ Upon entering the gun store in The Streets ] "Alright! A candy store for adults!"
 * "Good, that's decided. Moving on: I think this building's on fire. Sooo... I'd like to leave it."
 * "Hey! Loud girl. (Rochelle) Hayseed. (Ellis) Tons of fun. (Coach) This building? It's on FIRE. Grab a weapon and let's get the hell out of here."
 * "Okay, we all had a turn yelling at the helicopter. Good. Moving on: I think the building's on fire."
 * "Okay. Helicopters don't come back when you yell at 'em. Valuable lesson, you three tuck that away for later. Now grab a weapon and follow me. This goddamn building's on fire."
 * "HELICOPTER. It is a HELICOPTER. You call that thing a 'whirly-bird' one more time, I'll beat you SO bad, your sister's gonna wish she never gave birth to you."
 * "Disco Pants and Haircuts? Man, lots of space in this mall."
 * "Okay, so the evac station's abandoned, annnnd we're at the center of a zombie-filled building. But on the bright side? We're all probably gonna die."
 * "Technically... you're not supposed to use an elevator in a fire. But that might not apply during a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE."
 * "Get in the tank, you stupid goddamn gas, get in the tank."
 * "Piece of shit gas, GET IN THE CAR!"
 * Get in the Tank! Come on comeoncomeoncomeoncomoncomeon Come On!
 * [ Seeing Tank ] "HOLY SHIT! BIG FREAKING ZOMBIE!"
 * "We have a problem!"
 * "If we don't move, maybe it won't see us."
 * [ When talking to the gun shop owner ] "Buddy, if you can get me out of this alive? I will deep-fry you an entire goddamn cow."
 * [In safe room entering the mall ] "If anyone sees a men's store, let me know; I've got blood on my suit."
 * "No one's alive in here."
 * [ After hearing Ellis's idea at the finale ] "Well that beats my idea, staying here and dying in the mall."
 * Nick: "I'll agree to the idea, but I'm driving."
 *  Ellis: "Actually, I think the guy who came up with the idea to drive the stock car should get to drive the stock car."
 *  Nick: "What a fun road trip this will be."

Dark Carnival

 * [ At the start of the Dark Carnival ] "I hate to be the bearer of bad news guys, but unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we AIN'T driving through this."
 * "I think our options are keep moving down the road towards those lights or die here."
 * "Anyone in the camp die here?"
 * "No? Then let's move out."
 * [ On the Highway ] "These cars go on for MILES!"
 * Coach: "Maybe they left em' when they got rescued."
 * Nick: "That's...one theory."
 * [ Upon noticing the burned bodies in the pool at the motel in 'The Highway ]''' "WOW. These people SUCKED at high diving."
 * [After Coach comments on having gone to Whispering Oaks as a child] "Oh, good. Now we can die there as adults."
 * [ When Ellis claims they'll have to walk through traffic ] "Don't sweat it, Ellis. At least you got us out of that mall."
 * "Goddamn you, Jimmy Gibbs Jr."
 * Ellis: That's not cool Nick. Seriously [ Alternate line ] "Now that was uncalled for. Serious."


 * [ After going down the hill in the first chapter and Ellis makes a comment about going downhill being "fun" ] "Falling and breaking my neck is not fun Ellis."
 * [ Upon seeing the pool in The Highway ] "They're not kidding when they say no lifeguards on duty."
 * [ While going down the hill in the first chapter ] "Whoa, Shit!!!"
 * [ Beginning of Dark Carnival's Finale ] "I know I'm going to regret this, but turn it up!"
 * "That got us around the block."
 * [ In the beginning of the tunnel of love ] "Looks like you get your wish Ellis, you get to go on a ride."
 * Ellis: Uh, this isn't exactly a ride Nick. This is where you go to make out with your girlfriend."


 * [While moving through the Tunnel of Love in The Coaster]: "You could almost call this a cee-ment river, Ellis!"
 * Ellis: "Ha ha, very funny, Nick."

[ In the second saferoom in Dark Carnival ] Why couldn't I have been in Las Vegas when the Infection hit, or even Atlantic city? Instead, I am trapped in some hillbilly tunnel of love!"
 * "Into the swan maintenance room of love!"
 * [Running on the tracks during The Coaster ] "These Infected do NOT respect lines!"
 * "Thank God this doesn't do a loop."
 * "I hate roller coasters."
 * "Make sure to call out if you get pulled."
 * [ Before The Fairgrounds Crescendo event. ] "You gotta be this tall to get in here, Ellis. Sorry, buddy. You'll be missed."
 * Ellis: "Ha ha. Aren't you the comedian."

[ While looking at the Lil' Peanut cutout in Dark Carnival ]"I do not like that little peanut man."
 * "Nice fencing. Looks like a federal carousel penitentiary."
 * Ellis: "Man, how can you not like Li'l Peanut? I love this little guy!"

"It worked! I love you, Coach!" "Bringing back any memories, Coach? You, a steamy cheeseburger, romance in the air?"
 * "Anybody else find this peanut thing a little terrifying?"
 * [A response to Coach's plan] "That is the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with"
 * Did you see the sign out front? Cousins-only day today."
 * "Okay, we'll set off the pyrotechnics, but I'm telling you right now. I AM NOT GOING TO AIR GUITAR."
 * "Gate's open!"
 * "I think I know how to start the finale, hit the button labeled Finale."
 * "When I hit this tape, it's gonna blare some old people's rock music and start the finale. Get ready."
 * "Coach, when I start this finale, you aren't gonna start dancing are you? Ahh, screw it, I'm hitting it."
 * "If you have any taste, cover your ears, I'm starting the finale."
 * "Hit the flash bangs!"
 * "I think the copter pilot wants us to turn it down."
 * "Coach, you're a genius! This worked!"
 * "A fenced-in carousel? Is this where they took child prisoners on day trips?"

"Great, following shiny lights in the sky, we're like freaking cats and a laser pointer."

Swamp Fever
"I still can't believe none of you were going to shoot him." Rochelle: "That's true. If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it would probably be when he stopped flying the chopper and..attacked us."
 * [ In response to the Survivors' reactions to him killing the pilot ] "Well, he wasn't doing a very good job once he became a zombie, now was he?"
 * "I shot a zombie. He was a zombie, Ellis. He must have gotten bitten before he picked us up."
 * [ In response to Ellis talking about the Blood Farmers ] "Jesus Christ Ellis, like the goddam zombies aren't bad enough."
 * [ When jumping into deep water in Swamp Fever ] Nick: "This swamp is gonna mess up my white suit!"
 * Rochelle: "You mean the one covered in zombie brains?"
 * Nick: "Brains come out, swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that."


 *  Rochelle: So what do you think is going to kill us? Gators, snakes, bugs, or mud people?
 * Nick: The way we're shooting? Each other.


 * [When crossing the river in Plank Country] Rochelle: "So Nick, what do you think the odds are that the swamp people are still alive?"
 * Nick: "Alive as in not infected, or alive as is in not zombies?"
 * Rochelle: "Not zombies."
 * Nick: "100 to 1."
 *  Rochelle: "Sounds about right."

Hard Rain

 * [While moving through the Witch-infested sugar mill] The last time I saw this many crying women was at my wedding.
 * [At the beginning of the campaign] What are we supposed to signal him with?
 * Ellis: Oh, there's flares in the gun bag.
 * Nick: What gun bag?
 * Ellis: You didn't grab the guns!?
 * Nick: ME!? Who died and made me gun monitor!?
 * Ellis: Pretty much everybody.


 * Alternative conversation
 * Rochelle: Well, this should be easy. All we need is to find some diesel.
 * Nick: Anybody wanna hear a prediction?
 * Everyone: No.
 * Nick: There's not gonna be any gas. Watch.

The Parish

 * [ Response to Ellis' horse comment ] "Ever eaten a horse? It's tasty."
 * [ Before starting The Park's Crescendo Event ] "As soon as we open that door, get ready to run for the tower."
 * Ellis: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait...why we goin' to the tower?"
 * Nick: "We run to the tower, and we turn off the alarm!"
 * Ellis: "Oh! Okay, okay, I get it!"


 * [ When the fighter jets fly by at the beginning of The Parish ] Coach: All right! The military's still here!
 * Nick: You don't evacuate people in fighter jets.

Nick: "You mean that blurry line in the horizon? Let's not get ahead of ourselves."
 * [The beginning of The Parish campaign] Coach: "All right, people, let's get to that bridge!"
 * "Yeah well seeing the bridge and getting to are two different things."
 * [Upon Seeing the Bathrooms in the Park ] "From the looks of this park, I'm glad we didn't arrive early."
 * Nick: "Oh man it, smells awful in here."/ "It smells like..piss."
 * Ellis: "I think it smells nice."


 * "Does this guy's scorecard mean what I think it means?"
 * [ Upon entering the sewers ] "I'm not going in ther--... ah screw it! Let's go."
 * "Oh Christ, not the sewer."
 * "Ugh. What's that SMELL?"
 * "I used to steal these from cops back in high school."
 * "If my friends ever saw me usin' a cop's gun..."
 * [ After passing through the lot with the alarmed cars and climbing up the bridge ] "We made it, I can't believe we actually made it."
 * [ After seeing the bridge being blown up ] "OH COME ON!!!"
 * [ In the Safe Room of the fourth level, during CEDA's bombing ] "Christ those guys are such assholes."
 * "Before we run across this bridge right toward the people who've been dropping bombs on us, anyone wanna talk about a Plan B?"
 * Ellis: "I don't."
 * Nick: "Alright then, let's go."


 * [ Seeing dead un-infected people in The Parish ] "These are people! They were killing people! I told you this was a bad idea."
 * Coach: "How's it feel to be so right, Nick?"
 * Nick: "Not good..."

Friendly Fire

 * [ When shot at ] "Are you really going to shoot a guy in a $3,000 suit? Come on!"
 * "DON'T. SHOOT. ME."
 * "YOU. ARE. SHOOTING. ME."
 * "Well thank you for ventilating my suit."
 * "Why would you think shooting me is a good idea?"
 * "Let's try shooting zombies instead of people, okay?"
 * "Damn!... You suck at shooting."
 * "You shoot me again, and I'll drop ya'."
 * "Shoot me again. Shoot me again, I dare ya'."
 * "Shoot me again, I'm not dead yet!"
 * "Stop shooting me."
 * "Shooting me, doesn't get us, anywhere!
 * "Do that again and I will bury you alive."
 * "Can we not shoot each other, please?"
 * "Can you stop shooting me?"
 * "I don't know who started this shit, 'kay? But let's just stop the friendly fire right now."
 * "Unless you want to be picking your teeth up off the floor, stop shooting me."
 * "WHAT THE-"
 * "OH COME ON!"
 * [ When Ellis attacks him ] "Dumbshit!"
 * Ellis come on!"
 * [ When Coach attacks him ] "Coach, c'mon, man."
 * [ When Rochelle attacks him ] "Sweetheart? Don't shoot me."
 * "Rochelle!"
 * [ In a calm voice ] "Don't shoot each other."
 * [ After someone says Nick shot them ] "If you'd looked out, you wouldn't get hit!"
 * [ When a teammate is shot by someone else ] "Stop shooting each other!"

Scavenge

 * [ Upon the beginning of a Scavenge match ] "Let's get some gas."
 * [ While pouring gas into the generator ] "Come on... Come-onnn..."
 * "Piece of shit gas, GET IN THE CAR!"
 * [ When there's one more gas can remaining to make the player's team win a Scavenge match ] "One more can to go!"
 * [ When winning a scavenge match ] "We're makin' it look easy!"

Uncategorized
''These ones need a place to be. Feel free to put them in their rightful category.''
 * "The boardwalk still smells like popcorn and this back alley still stinks like piss."
 * "What are you, an unfriendly hippie? I thought you all had to be friendly?"
 * "No one else is alive here, okay? There's gotta be some sort of deal we can work out."
 * "Wow, yeah. That's really cool. I'm sure Dusty will be honored."
 * "I bet he's got a working shower in there and he isn't using it."
 * "Always a stinking hippie. I swear to god, it always come back to making a stinking hippie happy."
 * "There better be gas in that tour bus."
 * "There's the tour bus! Get into the garage!"
 * "Just go, just go, he isn't coming with us."
 * "Goodbye, Mr. Hippie!"
 * "Of course it's full of zombies. The whole god damn world is full of zombies. See you in a few minutes."
 * "You know what I like best about your stories, Ellis? The sound they make when they stop."
 * "Because all you THINK about is ribs, Coach."
 * "I trust you. You look like a man who knows his donuts.
 * "Crumbs? Really, Coach? That's how you swear?"
 * "Lead on, MacDuff."
 * "No Ellis, I've never seen anything like this
 * "Hm. This'd be really awkward if I gave a shit about your feelings."
 * "Jesus, it was open season on everything out here."