Ellis/Quotes

A list of Ellis' Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

[ When approaching toilets on Parish ] Coach: "Aww, man, stinks 'a piss... "

Ellis: "I dunno. Smells kinda nice."

Nick: "Ever eaten horse? It's tasty."
 * [ When he sees the statue of Andrew Jackson ] "Man, I wish we had a horse. I love horses."


 * Ellis: "Who ain't right in the head now?"
 * [ An alternative line ]"Horses are for ridin', not eatin', Nick."


 * Ellis: "Horse!"


 * Nick: "Nice observation, Ellis."

Coach: "Though I walk, through the valley of the shadow of death..."
 * [ While traveling on the cable ferry ] "Coach? Any inspirational words while we enter the swamp


 * Ellis: "Yeah! I'm walk'n in that valley'n I'm kick'n some ass!"


 * [ Conversation at the start of Dark Carnival ] Nick: “I hate to be the bearer of bad-news guys, but unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we ain't driving through this."

Ellis: "Sorry guys, guess this wasn’t such a hot idea after all."
 * Nick: “God damn you, Jimmy Gibbs, Jr.!”

Ellis: “Now that’s not cool, Nick.”


 * [ Beginning of Dark Carnival ] "Sorry folks. This car is capable of miracles, but it can't drive over 20 miles of parked cars. I think were walkin'."
 * Nick: "Don't sweat it Ellis. At least you got us out of that mall."


 * [ After shooting several stuffed elephants ] "I think I might win somethin'..."
 * [ When he finds an axe ] (Chuckles and says quietly) "Look who's got an axe..."
 * [ When he picks up an axe ] "I've always wanted to be an axe murderer!"
 * [ When he picks up a baseball bat ] "I'm gonna beat these sonsabitches 'til I lose my watch!"
 * [ When he spots a Molotov ] "Mol'tov here!"
 * "Molotov."
 * Coach: [reading notice]"Report the sick..."
 * Ellis: "Report the sick?"
 * Rochelle: "Don't worry Ellis, they mean the flu, not in the head."
 * [ When he is going to throw a Molotov ] "Fire coming!"
 * "MOLOTOV COMING!"
 * [ When constricted by a Smoker ] "SHOOT THE TONGUE!!"
 * [ Upon a Scavenge match start ] "Go, go, go, go, go, grab some gas!"
 * [ Upon picking up a gas can in a Scavenge match ] "Got it!"
 * [ When finding a pickup ] "All right, all right!"
 * [ When seeing the Infected or someone gets hit ] "Look out now!"
 * [ When shot ] "Man, why you shooting me? Shoot zombies, not me!"
 * "Ya know, shooting me ain't gonna help nothin'."
 * "Damn, this is not funny!"
 * "Stop shooting me, it won't help you anyway."
 * "C'mon, watch it! Daaamn!"
 * "I'm not a zombie. Shoot zombies."
 * "Whoa, Whoa that hurts!"
 * "That's not cool...Seriously.
 * [ When being shot by Rochelle] "Come on girl, I thought we were closer than that."
 * [ When healing] "Can somebody wait up? I'm gonna heal."
 * "Wait a second, I'm gonna heal."
 * "Can somebody watch my back? I'm gonna heal."
 * "Healing, cover me please!"
 * "Can y'all cover me? I gotta heal!"
 * [ After healing ] "Oh yeah, (shakes self awake) oh yeah, oh yeah."
 * "(Shaking self awake)"
 * "That fixed me up real good."
 * "Much, much better now."
 * "Oooh yeah."
 * [ When healing a teammate ] "Here ya go. I had no use for this anyhow, I ain't gonna get shot."
 * [ When reviving a teammate ] "I ain't leaving you, but you better get up!"
 * [Randomly while reviving teammate ] "I ever tell you about when me and my grandma came down here? We-"
 * Revivee: "Not now, Ellis."
 * [ When someone is incapacitated ] "Hang on there."
 * "Up we go."
 * [ When low on health ] "Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man oh man..."
 * "I think these zombies are tryin' to kill me."
 * "I ain't lying, this hurts."
 * "I'm not tryin' to curse myself, but I don't think I'm gonna make it."
 * "Aw, hell no. Hell no."
 * "I'm all tuckered out..."
 * "This ain't in my plans..."
 * "This ain't right..."
 * [While Incapacitated] "Hey I need some help over here."
 * "Help me out!"
 * "I can't make it on my own! Help me!"
 * "HE-EELP!!
 * "AHHHH!"
 * [ While falling to his death ] "SORRY Y'ALL!!"
 * [ When sees a Charger ] "CHARGER!"
 * [ When he is pummeled by a Charger ] "Aw Hell! He's poundin' me to death!"
 * "He's bashing me into shit!"
 * [ Before the emergency door event starts at The Crash Site ] "Somebody's gotta open this door."
 * [ When vomited on by a Boomer ] "Aw Hell! This sucks!"
 * "Ahhh! I can't see shit!"
 * "Christ in a Hand Basket! I'm gooed!"
 * "Ohh,Christ!"
 * "I'm all gooed!"
 * [ When sees a Spitter ] "Hey, it's a Spitter!"
 * [ When sees a Tank ] "Tank, Tank!
 * TANK! RUN! no, no, no, dont run...SHOOT!"
 * [ When the Spitter is about to spit ] "HEADS UP!"
 * "GOO INBOUND!"
 * [ When spat on by a Spitter ] "YUCK! Spitter goo!"
 * "I got Spitter shit on me."
 * "Ah, hell, man, Spitter goo."
 * "I got hit by the burnin' goo shit!"
 * [ When sees a Hunter ] "We got a Hunter!"
 * [ When pounced by a Hunter ] "GET HIM OFF!"
 * [ When he sees a Jockey ] "We got a Jockey!!"
 * "JOCKEY!"
 * [ After being revived ] "Much obliged."
 * [When pounced on by a Jockey] "Is this thing humping me?!"
 * "OW! GET.....!"
 * "SUMBITCH IS ON MY BACK!"
 * "It ain't right havin' this thing on me!"
 * "Come on, it's not funny anymore!"
 * [ When running from a Witch ] "Coming through! Witch on my ass!"
 * [ Responding to Coach quoting CEDA's instructions in case of infection in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Kill all sons'a'bitches. That's my official instructions."
 * [ At the roof of the evacuation station in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Hey, where is everybody? Hellooooo?"
 * [ When he gets grabbed by a Smoker in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Ah, what the hell?"
 * [ Seeing how the lower floors are flooded by the Infected in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Holy... Shit..."
 * [When looking down at the gas station in Hard Rain] "Alright, there's the gas station, all we gotta do is pass through this cane field.
 * [ When someone else is pounced by a Jockey ] "That's just humiliating."
 * [ Responding to Rochelle's comment about an incoming storm ] "Nobody wander off!"
 * [ When seeing a Witch ] "Aw, a Witch."
 * [ Upon hearing a Witch ] "That cryin' girl's around."
 * [ When being chased by a Witch] Shoot her, SHOOT HER!
 * [ When the witch is getting angry ] "Oh shit man, that Witch is a spaz!"

Headline text

 * [ After closing the Safe Room door] "We gonna need to do better then THAT."
 * "We are a DAMN good team!"
 * [ After throwing a bile bomb ] "Heads up, bile bomb!"
 * "Here comes the puke!"
 * "Bile bomb incoming!"
 * "Throwing a bile bomb"
 * "Here comes the bile, sons of bitches!"
 * [ After throwing a 'Pipe bomb] '''"Hey! Chase this!"
 * "Throwing a pipe bomb!."
 * [ When sees a alarmed car ] "Ya'll better not shoot the car."
 * [ When hitting a Riot Infected ] "Aw, hell, they're bulletproof."
 * [ When reloading ] "I'm a reload."
 * "Hey, I'm reloading!"
 * "Gotta reload!"
 * [ When grabbing a Machete ] "Machete here."
 * [ When grabbing a Bile Bomb ] "Bottle of puke here."
 * "Bi...le bomb here."
 * "Grabbin' a bile bomb!"
 * "Grabbin' a bile jar."
 * "I don't know. Smells nice though don't it."
 * "I got a bile bomb here!"
 * "Man, I could go for a cold one right about now."
 * [When Victorious after reaching a safehouse] "We are kings of the world!"
 * "DAMN(laughing), we are good! ehe!"
 * " I can hardly believe me made that!"
 * "We are a right DAMN good team."
 * [ When grabbing a Adrenaline shot ] "Grabbin' a shot"
 * "Adrenaline shot here."
 * [ When seeing a Tonfa ] "Nightstick here"
 * [ When a Jockey is nearby ] "Dude, I hear one of them Back Humpers around."
 * [ When in the Safe Room at the start of The Park for a few seconds ] "You guys know what "suck the heads" means? 'Cause I came down here with Keith once, and he didn't know, and--I mean, it ain't nothin' bad. It's about eatin'-"
 * Nick: "Ellis? Is now the best time?"
 * Rochelle: "Ellis, sweetie, can this wait?"
 * Coach: "We ain't got time for this, Ellis."
 * Ellis: "Okay."

[Alternate line] "You ain't never been to Graceland, Nick? Man, y'all should've come, we had so much fun!"
 * [ When sees a safe room ] "Hey, we got a safe room right ahead!"
 * [ When all alone or all other survivors are dead] "Hey it's not funny man, where are you guys?"
 * [ After picking up explosive ammo ] "Cool!"
 * [After being defibrillated] "OW, whatch ya shockin' me for?"
 * "Was I dead? Good thing I didn't walk towards the light..."
 * [Upon seeing the buses at the bus station] "Did I ever tell you guys about the time my grandpa took me on a bus to Memphis to visit Graceland, and we--"
 * Nick: "Ellis, Ellis! We don't have time for that right now!"
 * Ellis: "Okay. But I do love goin' on bus rides."


 * [ In the Saferoom of the Cemetery Level ] "Did I ever tell you guys about the time me and Keith filled up water balloons with our own--"

Ellis: "Okay..."
 * Coach: "We ain't got time for this, boy."

Coach: I swear, doesn't it sometimes feel like we're babysitting?
 * [ Upon picking up a nightstick ] "♪ Gonna beat me a zombie to death with a nightstick~ ♪"
 * [ Picking up a Sniper Rifle ] "Imma' snipe some sons-a-bitches."
 * [ Inside a Rescue closet ] "Oh, come on man! I'm gettin' bored up here. Get me out of here!"
 * "Hey...hey everybody, don't forget about me in here!"
 * "Help! HELP! HEEEELP!!"
 * "Okay, I triple-dog-dare you to rescue me!"
 * "Now hold on, you're not thinkin' of leavin' me in here, are you?"
 * "This shotgun feels right. Real right.
 * [ When waiting for the other Survivors inside the safe room ] "I need every one of you inside now!"
 * "C'mon y'all get inside!"
 * [ After being asked by Whitaker to get some cola ] "I can understand that, a man needs his snacks! (under his breath) Man, this guy is weird..."
 * [ When introducing himself in the elevator in The Hotel ] "My name's Ellis but, ya'll can call me El. I prefer Ellis cause El sounds like a girls name."
 * Ellis: "It's the God damn city of Atlantis" (during the return to town chapter of the hard rain campaign, possibly a reference to to Futurama episode "The Deep South").
 * Into the maintanance tunnel of love!
 * Into the blasted hole of love!
 * Grabbing the shotgun of Love!
 * Grabbing the Ninja Sword of Love!
 * [During the 2nd stage of Dark Carnival, upon seeing the sign leading into Kiddie land] "Holy SHIT, guys! IT'S KIDDIE LAND!"

Keith stories

 * My buddy Keith lived in a graveyard once for a whole year -- it wasn't a dare or nothin', he just got kicked out of his house. He said he NEVER saw a single ghost 'cept for this one time when a ghost stabbed him from behind and took all his money and he might've just been a homeless guy cuz he had a robe on with two eyes cut out his face.
 * My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once. He was shooting crows but the police were too busy tear gassin' him to ask what he was doin' up there. He screamed for an entire year every single time when he opened his eyes! Oh man! At first it was funny, then it just got sad, but then it got funny again. Oh man!
 * I ever tell you about the time Keith and I made fireworks? Now, I didn't know shit about chemistry but Keith figured gasoline burns doesn't it? Heh. Third degree burns on 95% of his body. Man, people in the next city over were calling to complain about the smell of burning skin.
 * I ever tell you about the time Keith tried to deep fry turkey? Third degree burns over 90% his body. His doctor called up like other doctors to look at him cause he'd never seen burns on top of existing burns
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith drove his car off a cliff, broke both his legs? Hey it's not a funny ha-ha story, so much as it's a make you think story. For instance, windshields look pretty durable, right? Yeah, not the case according to Keith. Son of a bitch flew right through that sucker.
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith got rolled by a 'gator in a swamp? Man he didn't agonise it or nothin', we were just tryin' to grab two so we could piss 'em off and get 'em into a fight. Well anyway the third time Keith went under I realised something was wrong so I--
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith drowned in the tunnel of love? You wouldn't think it could happen cause the water's so shallow, but that's how it gets you man. Overconfidence. Keith was with his lady at the time, and he was yellin' for her to save him, but she didn't want to get wet.
 * I ever tell you about the time me and Keith made home-made bumper cars with ridin' mowers in his back yard? Mower blade wounds over 90% of his body. I didn't run him over either, he somehow managed to fall under his own.
 * One time, the army bombed my buddy Keith. He went campin' and didn't bother to read the signs and I guess they were just testin' bombs that day - all sorts of stuff too, not just regular bombs, like biological nerve gas bombs, shrapnel bombs, these bombs that break up in the air to like a hundred smaller bombs...
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith fell down an open manhole? He was unconscious down there for like a week. Durin' that time, unbeknowst to Keith, they paved over him. Keith had to--
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith and I were on the top of a burnin' building, and we had to fight our way down like five floors of zombies an - hey, wait a second. I guess that was you guys. Oh shit, man, I can't wait to tell Keith about that one!
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith fell out the rollercoaster? Yeah he didn't drop far, mind you, just onto the tracks, but the carnival people wouldn't stop the ride cause all the other people paid good money and Keith snook on for free, so he had to dodge for like twenty minutes or so.
 * Man, all this mud reminds me of my friend Keith. Yeah, he was gonna build a shack once, to live in an' all- and I know most people where they build houses and they become shacks -but Keith, he was about jumping right t' the shack stage. But he had no wood, so he got some mud and was making what we were all thinking was gonna be these adobe bricks, ya know, like when them people out west make bricks and shit. Well, he had mud and-.
 * I ever tell you about the time me and Keith snuck a paint ball gun on a roller coaster? I never heard'a anybody else doin' it, so I thought we might'a invented a sport so Keith called the patent office but-.
 * Do you know what "suck the heads" means? 'Cuz I came down here wi' Keith once, an' HE didn't know. I mean, it ain't nothin' bad. It's about eatin'.