Louis/Quotes and Captions

A list of Louis' Quotes and cut quotes, also known as Captions, in Left 4 Dead.

Intro

 * [ Upon hearing an incoming horde ] "Oh shit, SHIT, SHIIT! THEY'RE COMING!"
 * [ While shooting the Witch ] "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?!"
 * [ While shooting the Witch ] "DO YOU NOT DIE?!"
 * [ Calling out to a passing helicopter ] "Heeeey! We're over here...We're not infected! Down here! Damn it!"
 * [ Asking Bill the attack plan for an incoming Tank ] Run, or shoot? RUN OR SHOOT?"
 * [ Upon reaching the safety of the roof ] "We made it...I can't believe we made it!"

General

 * "Well, it can only get better, right?"
 * "Stay positive guys! I've got a good feeling about this!"
 * "Humanity's gonna bounce right back - you watch!"
 * "When things go back to normal, Zoey, Bill, I'm giving you both jobs! Francis! I'ma teach yo ass how to read!"
 * "Oh c'mon cheer up, were almost through."
 * "Guys at the office used to laugh at me when I hit the rifle range at lunch. Ain't so damn funny now, is it?!"
 * "How long were you in prison, Francis?"
 * "They comin'! You guys ready?"
 * "I...am bad. Ahhaha, I am bad! Yes I am! Whooo! That's right, let's call ourselves the Unstoppables!"
 * "Oh yeah! Who's yo mama?! Who's yo daddy?!"
 * [ Arrival to the finale ] "I knew we were going to make it!"
 * [Belch] "'Scuse me."

The following are lines used on the PC "commands" and "responces" lists when (by default) typing Z or X.

"Yes" responses

 * "I'm cool with that."

"No" responses

 * "That's some country-ass bullshit!"

"Hurrah" responces

 * "BOOM-diah!"
 * WOOOOOO!

"Look" commands
"safe house up ahead!"

Health related

 * [ If Zoey appears to be in relatively bad shape and has first aid ] "Go on and heal up, girl."
 * [Zoey Death] "Goddammit, Zoey, wake up!"
 * " Zoey! My plans! MY PLANS!!"
 * " Zoey! Goddammit!"
 * [Francis death] "Francis! No!"
 * "Jesus, Francis, no! Francis!"
 * [Bill death] "Bill! Aw shit!'
 * "This shit was not in my plans!"
 * "Oh shit, Shit, SHIT!!"
 * "NOOOOOOOOOOO"
 * [ After being helped up ] "Yo, thanks, man."
 * "Zoey, any chance I could get some First-Aid?"
 * "Francis, mind spottin' me a Med-kit?"
 * "Bill, could I get some First-Aid?"
 * [ When he's found some pain pills ] "Grab some pills over here!"
 * "Pills here!"
 * "Grabbing pills."
 * "I'd better grab everything I can."
 * "I ain't dyin' man, death gonna have to pry me off the Earth."
 * "If I go down, go on without me—actually no, wait, save my ass."
 * "Any of you guys cub scouts? Surprisingly ineffective at preparing you for some shit like this!"
 * "I ain't got time to bleed! Oh hell, I am bleeding!"
 * [ When Bill says "Who are you?" if Louis helps him up ] "It's me, Louis! Come on, man."
 * [ On low health ] "Oh man... every damn thing hurts."
 * [ In critical need of healing ] "At this rate... I... I'm not gonna make it..."
 * [ If Francis is incapacitated outside the saferoom and no one is helping him ] C'mon, aren't we gonna help him?
 * [ If Bill is incapacitated outside saferoom ] "Bill! C'mon guys, lets go help 'im."
 * [ If Zoey is incapacitated outside saferoom ] "Zoey! Oh, no. What do we do?"

Weapon related

 * [ Occasionally on submachine gun pickup ] "Oh, MAN! This is just like Counter-Strike!"
 * "Now *this* is a big-ass machine gun!"
 * "Oh HELL yes!"
 * [ Picking up an Assault Rifle ] "This rifle is MINE!"
 * [ Picking up an Auto Shotgun ] "Oh, I'm grabbin' a shotgun!"

Infected related

 * [ When Francis calls the Infected vampires ] "They're zombies, Francis."
 * "They ain't vampires, man! They zombies!"
 * [ When another Survivor kills a Special Infected ] "POW!"
 * [ When pinned down by a Hunter ] "Ahhh! Get off me! Get it off me!"
 * "That Witch ain't gonna hold still much longer!"
 * [ When hanging from a ledge] AHHHHHHHHHHH HELP ME I AM ABOUT TO FALL.

No Mercy

 * [ Upon entering the sewers ] "This is not going to be sanitary..."
 * [ When climbing up the stairs in Mercy Hospital ] "Were they saving people or killing them?"
 * "This doesn't smell like a hospital..."
 * [ In response to Bill's hatred of stairs ] "It's good for you, Bill! Cardio!"
 * "Stairs are a good workout!"

Crash Course
Francis: "Yeah hahaha. Is this the one you're gonna die in?" Francis: "I hate walking."
 * [ Before starting the Crescendo Event on The Alleys during Crash Course ] "Someone's gotta fire this big ass machine gun."
 * [ Upon seeing the pilot's corpse ] "Poor guy. He tried to help us."
 * [ At the start of Crash Course ] "I've got a bad feeling about this...oh it passed. I think we're gonna be just fine."
 * [ When starting the generator ] "C'mon, c'mon, you damn generator, start!"
 * [When he came across an alley in Truck Depot Finale ] "Hey Francis, wasn't this the alley you were born in?"
 * "Team building exercise every Tuesday. Man, they ought to try this zombie bullshit."
 * "Well I guess we're walking."

Louis: "But five minutes ago, you hated flying."

Francis: "And it turns out I was right about that." Louis: "I'd be damned Francis! When'd you learn to read?"
 * "On the bright, look at all the great scenery we would've missed if we flew over this in a helicopter huh."
 * [ Upon seeing a magazine rack ] "Wall Street Weekly. There's no more Wall Street Weekly. Damn!"
 * "So I'm thinking, either we're immune from all this or we're getting real lucky.
 * [ When he sees the Recycling factory ] "We get out of this alive, I can't wait to have to recycle shit again."
 * [ When caming across a sign that says For Lease ] Francis: "For Lease. Anybody got a pen? I wanna write this number down." or "For Lease."

Death Toll

 * [ During "Church Guy" Scene ] "Mister, if one of us gets killed out here, I'm gonna shoot my way in there and beat you to death with my gun!"
 * "Sir PLEASE! We're not infected!"
 * "If you ignore the crazy guy and the zombies, nice town."
 * "Interesting true story, in 1975, the local township d..." [cut-off]

Dead Air

 * [ When plane crashes on the runway ] "Holy shit!"
 * [ Leaving safe house in The Terminal ] "They really trashed this place."

Blood Harvest

 * [ Talking to the soldier via radio ] "We're good to go, sir."

Friendly Fire

 * [ When shot ] "Do I look like one of them?"
 * "Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Ow, man! Ow! Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Watch where you're shooting!"
 * "Yo, what the hell man? Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Look at my face! Do I look like them?"
 * "Oww! I'ma shoot you back next time!"
 * "That. Was. MY. ASS!"
 * "I'd really appreciate it if you'd STOP SHOOTING ME!"
 * [ When shot by Zoey ] "Aargh! You gotta stop that shit, Zoey!"
 * [ When shot by Bill ] "Old man, stop shooting me!"
 * "Whoah whoah whoah! Jesus, Bill, what are you doing?!"
 * "Watch it, Bill!"
 * [ If shot again ] "I cannot believe you shot me again!"
 * [ When shot by Francis ] "Francis, that's my ASS you're shooting!"
 * "Go on! Do it one more time, fat man!"

Cut lines

 * No Mercy Intro "I used to take the subway to Mercy Hospital. Grab the red line, a transfer, and two stops. When this gets back to normal, I'm never gonna complain about that transfer again."
 * "Can't this thing move any faster?"
 * "Man, you CANNOT give up."
 * "Should be around here."
 * "Man, why'd you shoot the car?!"
 * "Don't shoot the car!"
 * "Man, I pressed the button!"
 * "I'll call the elevator."
 * "Get ready, I called the elevator."
 * "Get ready, I pressed the elevator.


 * Death Toll Intro "Me and my family used to go camping down by the lake. That's where we were heading...only, it wasn't Momma's cookin' waiting for us at the end of this trip."
 * "But we heard gunshots less than an hour ago! There's GOTTA be someone left!"
 * "Is he paddling the boat in with his damn hands?"
 * "Gunfire means people. We gotta hurry!"
 * "We have to get across the bridge!"
 * "Wow! That was cool... Oh wait, how do we get across?"
 * "Now that's a damn fireball!"
 * "We have to find another way."
 * "Hit the button."
 * "Riverside! The military's dug in there! Shipping out refugees."
 * "Riverside! At least we're going the right way."
 * "Hey, Hartford Mining! This should take us to Riverside!"
 * "They shoulda kept movin'..."
 * "We have to lower that platform!"
 * "I don't think getting to Riverside helped."
 * "This shit seemed cooler in movies."
 * "Graveyards used to spook me a little."
 * "There I was wishin' I was in Riverside."
 * "Well, looks like we ain't gonna find any help in Riverside."
 * "I could see coming back here once this is over."
 * "Does anybody know what the hell he's talking about?"
 * "I'm getting a seriously bad vibe off this guy."
 * "Anyone else sick of arguing with the lunatic?"
 * "I think I'd rather take my chances with this guy than die on the shore."
 * "Dunno if I trust him. Guess we ain't got much of a choice, though."
 * "Boat man, get your fat ass over here."


 * Dead Air Intro "We were gonna take the roof tops to the airport. It was supposed to be about a mile to the terminal. Longest damn mile of my life."
 * "Terry's dead. How can we help?"
 * "We ain't Terry, man. You need refuelin', right?"
 * "I'm a little scared, never been in a plane before."
 * "Hey! If we refuel you, can you fly us out of here?"
 * "You're a pilot? Can you fly us out?"
 * "I see it. Give us a second to get ready."
 * "I see the button. Give us a minute to get ready."


 * Blood Harvest Intro "We started out on a hill top. Far as I was concerned, that's where we should've stayed. Instead, we headed to a farm house on the bad side of the tracks. Nowadays, though, I guess it's all on the bad side of the tracks."
 * "Yes! My god, yes! You didn't get me, did you? No you did not! Louis beat all your asses!"
 * "I have no idea how this is going to work."
 * "Never thought I'd say it, but I miss the city."
 * "We. Are. SAVED!
 * "We got four immune here!"
 * "I am alive! You hear that? I am breathing and it feels good!"


 * "You do those tattoos yourself, Francis? It'd explain all the misspellings."
 * "When this is over with? I'm buyin' all three of you mansions."
 * "Bill, would you please say one positive thing before I shoot you?"
 * "You were born a crusty old bastard, weren't you, Bill?"
 * "Can zombies swim?"
 * "I had a nice house before this. A 401k... Damn it! I had a really nice 401k!"
 * "Man, I do wish I'd bought stock in ammo manufacturers now."
 * "Look at the bright side: overpopulation? Bad economy? All fixed now."
 * "When things go back to normal, Zoey, Bill - I'm giving you both jobs. Francis, I'll help you sign your fat ass back up on welfare."
 * "Oh no, I'm straight."
 * "Francis, you gotta lighten up, buddy."
 * "Stay frosty."
 * "Francis, don't hate me for being beautiful."
 * "Cocked and locked. Let's show these things how we cure infection."
 * "Think of it like this, Bill: How could it get any worse?"
 * "Yeah, yeah, there you go!"
 * "ZOMBIES. Say it, Francis."
 * "How many damn times are you gonna shoot me?"
 * "Fatman, what the HELL is wrong with you?"
 * "Zoey, you know you're shooting me, right?"
 * "Ow! I ain't damn bulletproof."
 * "Man, I hope I never get on your bad side."
 * "There's something over there."
 * "There is definitely something over there."
 * "Kilt your bitch ass. Bitch."
 * "Sit yer steroid ass down, bitch."
 * "Yeah, yeah, Louis just shot yer bitch ass."
 * "How you like that? Funky ass bitch."
 * "Punk ass bitch."
 * "Oh it's BITCH apocalypse now, bitch."
 * "When all this is over, you think they'll call us heroes? We are savin' humanity, right? I mean, a very small, four-person chunk of it, but still."
 * "Yeah, I won. Yeah, yeah."
 * "Hoody ass bitch."
 * "Funky smellin' bitch."
 * "Set yer bitch ass on fire!"
 * "I don't know, this shit look real jerry-rigged."
 * "Are you out of your damn mind!"
 * "ARE YOU INSANE?"
 * "What the hell was that?"
 * "Did you hear that?"
 * "Are you seeing this?"
 * "Oh come the hell on."
 * "Zombies might have done us a favor, really. Think about it. We get to start over now."
 * "My last life? District IT manager at Fischer Platt. Not good practice for zombie killing, you know?"
 * "Folks I was with before you three, wouldn't keep movin'. Figured they could wait it out. They couldn't."
 * "I think I just discovered a cure for infection. Lead."
 * "Infected or not - they don't like bullets."
 * "Smile when it hurts the most. That's my philosophy."
 * "Winning isn't everything. Wantin' to win is."
 * "We'll beat 'em 'cause we're better than them. Period."
 * "Humanity ain't beat, it's just takin' a breather."
 * "We'll be laughin' about it when we get to the other side."
 * "Even I can't make lemonade out of this shit."
 * "I guess I'm just a glass-half-full guy."
 * "Ahhh, probably for the best."
 * "All right, that makes us even."