User:Cpl. Wilding/Left 4 Dead 2 Fanfic

Notice: This is half-based on my experiences in Left 4 Dead 2 campaign as well as me just writing for the hell of it.

The Hotel
'We meet Ellis in his garage, fixing up an old Chevy. We ask him if he's Ellis and he says he is and wipes his hands off. After that, he grabs himself a Coke, cracks it open and sits down on a barstool. He offers us chairs, and as we sit down we notice the M16 rifle he keeps, with some severe cratch marks on it. I lay the recorder on the workshop bench, careful not to put it in a grease spot and begin recording.' Can you tell us what happened the day the Infection hit Savannah?

Hell, it started out like any other normal day for me. Get up, work in the garage, screw around with Keith and finish up with eating dinner with Ma. Difference today was Keith wasn't home and his brother Paul left a note to me (I guess anyone who passed by really) that there was some kinda disease goin' round. For a minute I thought it was just a joke, but then I saw the homeless dude. At least, I think he was homeless. He had a brown paper bag on his head and a green army jacket, I think. Yelled something about being Dr. Hobo and charged at me. I yelled out a swear and ran for a while, then saw signs telling me to go to the hotel cause C.E.D.A. was evac'ing everyone. I think I lost the hobo dude, cause I didn't see him no more. I went int' th' hotel and more signs told me t' head up to the highest floor. So needless to say, I got up there right quick and saw three other folks up there. I was about to say hi until we all heard a helicopter fly away. One dude started yelling at the pilot to come back so I joined him, but it was too late by that time. One guy, he was wearin' a suit, told us to all grab a gun or two. He looked and sounded like he knew what he was doin', so I did as I was told. Unfortunately for me, there weren't no pistols left, so I grabbed a fire axe.

''Let's stop for a minute. You're faced with three people you don't know and one of them tells you to grab a weapon? Didn't you think that maybe there was something else going on than just a plain disease?''

Well, hell of course I knew there was more shit goin' on than the disease. My thinking at the time told me it was better to have a weapon and not need it than need it and not have it. Besides, I always wanted to be an axe murderer.

So what happened after that?

We all had our stuff so we headed downstairs. Coach opened the door and-

Coach?

Well, he looked like a coach, so I just figured I'd call him Coach.

''I see. Keep going.''

Anyway, Coach opened the door, and these guys were NOT like any Savannites I've ever seen. Guy in the suit, Mr. Gambler Man said he didn't care what they were, but he was killin' 'em.

Didn't that tell you maybe there was something different about him?

Nah, not really.

What did you do?

Well, I just stayed behind and chopped off anyone who got too close to me. These guys were serious shit, man. Like they were punching Miss a couple time so I ran over and chopped their fool heads off. Y'see, I was raised up to never, ever ever disrespect a lady, and this girl was no diff'rent, to be honest. If I remember right, the room she was in had a map in it that said New Orleans was the last city standin', so we figured we'd head there.

''What else happened? Did you try to find an elevator?''

There were elevators on the floor we were on, but none of them were workin'. Coach was about to go down the hall, but I guess the bulidin' was on fire or somethin', cause the hall blew up right in front of us. We went into a room on the right and walked on the edge real careful-like. Then I heard something.

What did it sound like?

Like a really pissed-off dog.

What did you do?

I warned the others even though I had no idea what the hell it was. Not a whole lot, just lettin' 'em know I didn't hear a happy noise. After a while we were back in the hotel and headed downstairs, but I still heard that noise.

What happened after that?

This weird dude in a hoodie leapt through the air like shit, man, and pounced on the lady and started clawing her. I dunno what, but my instincts just kicked in and I axed that fucker's head off. After that we kept going down, killing more zombies.

What made you decide they were zombies?

Well, I've seen enough horror movies in my life, and I know a zombie when I see one. Besides, what else were they?

''Interesting. Did you ever find an elevator or did you keep going down the stairs?''

Nah, we found an elevator in a room full of sleepin' bags and shit. Guess that was a stagin' area for C.E.D.A or whatever. Anyway, I had found a gun in one of the rooms by that time, real big one too, I think it was a Desert Eagle or somethin'. We headed into the elevator, and I know you ain't supposed to use elevators in a fire, but what the hell. Zombies are more dangerous than elevators.

What happened when you got to the bottom of the hotel?

Well, first I gotta back up for a bit. Other three folks introduced themselves, and my guess about Coach was right, bein' a coach and all. Ro's a cool girl and all, but kinda whiney. I liked Nick, but I got a bit sad when he said he wasn't gonna stick around long. I figured he would anyway. Now, as to what happened when we hit bottom...Smoke was hittin' us and well, doors were jammed so Nick and I took it upon ourselves to open 'em up. Whole hallway was on fire, and somebody dropped four guns in front of the elevator, fully loaded too. Lucky as hell for us, cause there was a hella huge wave of zombies comin' at us. I dunno how though, but Rochelle saw this huge fucker with one arm, yelled out "one of those chargin' things!" and thing let out a squel and grabbed Coach. He didn't even stop till he hit the wall, and even then he started bashing Coach into the floor. Took nearly an entire damn mag to kill that thing. Well, we figured with Coach's injuries we'd better get out fast. So we ran like hell through a kitchen, and then through the main lobby. Nick was leadin' us and well...he came face-to-face with this huge fat guy. He didn't think twice about shootin' it, but he may have wanted to. Guy blew up and covered Nick and I in this slimey shit. Couldn't see shit for a while and a whole bunch of zombies came runnin' at us. Thank God I had that gun, otherwise I probably wouldn't be here now.

Was there a saferoom in the first floor?

Oh yeah, we were just a stone's throw away from it. We ran into it, shut the door and Nick told us we weren't so bad. After that, we barricaded the door while Ro fixed up Coach.

''Thank you for helping us with this, Ellis. This will help for a more complete record of the outbreak.''

Ain't no problem, sirs.

The Streets
'We are sitting in a lavish but modest home as Nick pours himself some wine. He offers some to us but we respectfully decline. Behind us is a katana sword Nick kept after the outbreak, still stained red with blood. Behind Nick is a set of dual pistols. I lay the recorder on the table between us and begin recording.'

What happened after Rochelle healed Coach?

To be honest, I didn't really care either way about what happened to Savannah. As far as I was concerned, I needed to get to New Orleans and get out before any of those three nitwits slowed me down. Ellis was already going off on this weird-ass story about this Keith guy, saying something about lawnmowers made into bumper cars. I tuned him out and grabbed a shotgun. I figured I was going to need it real soon. Coach was saying something about a gun store up ahead and Ellis said he knew the way. By then, though, those freaks were already swarming at the door, just waiting for us to come out. Rochelle took some initiative and blasted them all with the gun she picked up. I reminded myself not to piss her off. Coach opened the door and we walked out into the streets.

Was there anything unusual?

Aside from the whole "zombie-apocalypse-there's-no-one-alive" deal?

Well, yes.

It was quiet. Too quiet. My instincts told me something was up. Of course, my instincts also told me that these three dimwits I was with was a really bad idea, and I planned on leaving them as soon as we got to the gun store. I kept imagining any minute now, some cops would arrive and arrest all of us for the "Seaside Hotel Massacre of 2010" or something. Didn't help that we had encountered three total freaks earlier, a scrawny bitch that pounced, Aunt Bea and a guy in overalls.

Aunt Bea?

Aunt of mine. Puking guy reminded me of her when I first saw him, so I called them Aunt Beas.

What did you do to shake your uneasy feelings?

Did what I always do: go on and find out what's going on. We walked for a while and there still weren't any sign of those freaks. That's when I heard the thumping noises.

Thumping noises?

It sounded like a damned dump trunk with legs, and looked like it too. Coach yelled that it wasn't fair, and I agreed with him. We all lit him up like no tomorrow, but it didn't feel like he was going down. I retreated into a nearby C.E.D.A. tent and found a grenade launcher, of all things. I dropped the shotgun and aimed and shot. Thing hit, that I knew but it STILL didn't kill it! The thing turned towards me, picked up a slab of concrete and hurled it at me, and I went down. The only thing running through my mind at that moment was, and I quote, "holyshitholyshitIamgonnadie". Thankfully, another volley of shots from Rochelle and Ellis killed it, and Coach ran over to help. How I didn't die from that, I still don't know.

Did you stop to check your wounds?

Turns out the worst I got was a cracked rib. Don't ask me how, but it's all I got away with.

What happened after that?

We headed down to a building on the right side of the hotel, and I grabbed a molotov from a nearby truck. The building was pretty dark, and there were some zombies down there, but we got rid of them quickly. After that, it was some al' same ol': Kill zombies, get to gun store. Ellis had finally shut up about Keith for a while, and we hopped over a dumpster to get to the gun store. I heard some crazed laughter coming from a building nearby, so I let everyone else go ahead of me. Coach opened the door and this weirdo jumps out and latches itself onto Rochelle's face. I thought it was humping her for a minute, but then it started dragging her inside, where a lot of those zombies were. Needless to say, we all started shooting.

Weren't you worried you might have hit Rochelle?

Not my fault if she got in the way of my gun.