Louis/Quotes and Captions

A list of Louis' Quotes and cut quotes, also known as Captions, in Left 4 Dead.

Quotes

 * [ Upon hearing an incoming horde ] "Oh shit, SHIT, SHIIT! THEY'RE COMING!"
 * [ Calling out to a passing helicopter ] "Heeeey! We're not infected! Down here! Damn it!"
 * [ Asking Bill the attack plan for an incoming Tank ] Run, or shoot? RUN OR SHOOT?"
 * [ Upon reaching the safety of the roof ] "We made it...I can't believe we made it!"


 * [ Upon entering the sewers ] "This is not going to be sanitary..."
 * [ When climbing up the stairs in Mercy Hospital ] "Were they saving people or killing them?"
 * "This doesn't smell like a hospital..."
 * [ In response to Bill's hatred of stairs ] "It's good for you, Bill! Cardio!"
 * "Stairs are a good workout!"


 * [ During "Church Guy" Scene ] "Mister, if one of us gets killed out here, I'm gonna shoot my way in there and beat you to death with my gun!"
 * "Sir PLEASE! We're not infected!"
 * "If you ignore the crazy guy and the zombies, nice town."
 * "Interesting true story, in 1975, the local township d..." [cut-off]


 * [ When plane crashes on the runway ] "Holy shit!"
 * [ Leaving safe house in The Terminal ] "They really trashed this place."


 * "That's some country-ass bullshit!"
 * "Well, it can only get better, right?"
 * "Stay positive guys! I've got a good feeling about this!"
 * "Humanity's gonna bounce right back - you watch!"
 * "When things go back to normal, Zoey, Bill, I'm giving you both jobs! Francis! I'ma teach yo ass how to read!"
 * "Oh c'mon cheer up, were almost through."
 * "Guys at the office used to laugh at me when I hit the rifle range at lunch. Ain't so damn funny now, is it?!"
 * "How long were you in prison, Francis?"
 * [ When Francis calls the Infected vampires ] "They're zombies, Francis."
 * "They comin'! You guys ready?"
 * "They ain't vampires, man! They zombies!"
 * "BOOM-diah!"
 * "I...am bad. Ahhaha, I am bad! Yes I am! Whooo! That's right, let's call ourselves the Unstoppables!"
 * "Oh yeah! Who's yo mama?! Who's yo daddy?!"
 * [ Arrival to the finale ] "I knew we were going to make it!"
 * [ If Zoey appears to be in relatively bad shape and has first aid ] "Go on and heal up, girl."
 * [ When Zoey dies and is near ] "Goddammit, Zoey, wake up!"
 * " Zoey! My plans! MY PLANS!!"
 * "This shit was not in my plans!"
 * "Oh shit, Shit, SHIT!!"
 * [ After being helped up ] "Yo, thanks, man."
 * [ When shot ] "Do I look like one of them?"
 * "Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Ow, man! Ow! Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Watch where you're shooting!"
 * "Yo, what the hell man? Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Look at my face! Do I look like them?"
 * "Oww! I'ma shoot you back next time!"
 * "That. Was. MY. ASS!"
 * [ When shot by Zoey ] "Aargh! You gotta stop that shit, Zoey!"
 * [ When shot by Bill ] "Old man, stop shooting me!"
 * "Whoah whoah whoah! Jesus, Bill, what are you doing?!"
 * "Watch it, Bill!"
 * [ If shot again ] "I cannot believe you shot me again!"
 * [ When shot by Francis ] "Francis, that's my ASS you're shooting!"
 * "Go on! Do it one more time, fat man!"
 * "Zoey, any chance I could get some First-Aid?"
 * "Francis, mind spottin' me a Med-kit?"
 * "Bill, could I get some First-Aid?"
 * [ Occasionally on submachine gun pickup ] "Oh, MAN! This is just like Counter-Strike!"
 * [ When he's found some pain pills ] "Grab some pills over here!"
 * "Pills here!"
 * "Grabbing pills."
 * "I'd better grab everything I can."
 * "Now *this* is a big-ass machine gun!"
 * "Oh HELL yes!"
 * "I'm cool with that."
 * "POW!"
 * [ When pinned down by a Hunter ] "Ahhh! Get off me! Get it off me!"
 * "I ain't dyin' man, death gonna have to pry me off the Earth."
 * "If I go down, go on without me—actually, no, wait save my ass."
 * "Any of you guys cub scouts? Surprisingly ineffective at preparing you for some shit like this!"
 * "I ain't got time to bleed! Oh hell, I am bleeding!"
 * "That Witch ain't gonna hold still much longer!"
 * [ When Bill says "Who are you?" if Louis helps him up ] "It's me, Louis! Come on, man."
 * [ On low health ] "Oh man... every damn thing hurts."
 * [ In critical need of healing ] "At this rate... I... I'm not gonna make it..."
 * [belch] "'Scuse me."

Captions

 * No Mercy Intro "I used to take the subway to Mercy Hospital. Grab the red line, a transfer, and two stops. When this gets back to normal, I'm never gonna complain about that transfer again."
 * "Can't this thing move any faster?"


 * Death Toll Intro "Me and my family used to go camping down by the lake. That's where we were heading...only, it wasn't Momma's cookin' waiting for us at the end of this trip."
 * "But we heard gunshots less than an hour ago! There's GOTTA be someone left!"
 * "Is he paddling the boat in with his damn hands?"


 * Dead Air Intro "We were gonna take the roof tops to the airport. It was supposed to be about a mile to the terminal. Longest damn mile of my life."
 * "Terry's dead. How can we help?"
 * "We ain't Terry, man. You need refuelin', right?"


 * Blood Harvest Intro "We started out on a hill top. Far as I was concerned, that's where we should've stayed. Instead, we headed to a farm house on the bad side of the tracks. Nowadays, though, I guess it's all on the bad side of the tracks."
 * "Yes! My god, yes! You didn't get me, did you? No you did not! Louis beat all your asses!"


 * "You do those tattoos yourself, Francis? It'd explain all the misspellings."
 * "When this is over with? I'm buyin' all three of you mansions."
 * "Bill, would you please say one positive thing before I shoot you?"
 * "You were born a crusty old bastard, weren't you, Bill?"
 * "Can zombies swim?"
 * "I had a nice house before this. A 401k... Damn it! I had a really nice 401k!"
 * "Man, I do wish I'd bought stock in ammo manufacturers now."
 * "Look at the bright side: overpopulation? Bad economy? All fixed now."
 * "When things go back to normal, Zoe, Bill - I'm giving you both jobs. Francis, I'll help you sign your fat ass back up on welfare."