Bill/Quotes and Captions

A list of Bill's Quotes and cut quotes, also known as Captions, in Left 4 Dead.

Intro

 * "Hold up!"
 * "Ain't seen anything like this before..."
 * "They're changing."
 * "Over there."
 * "Lights off!"
 * "Oh, this is gonna get bad..."
 * [ Responding to Louis regarding the Tank during the intro scene ] "Both!"
 * "Son, we just crossed the street. Let's not throw a party 'til we're out of the city."

General

 * [ Nearing a safe room ] "This way people!"
 * "Aaah... I'm getting too old for this horse shit."
 * "Francis, is there anything you don't hate?"
 * "Eyes and ears, people. Eyes and ears."
 * "Speak up Francis, your voice got all muffled from being so far up your ass!."
 * "We're doin' pretty goddamned good! Don't let it go to your head."
 * "Close your mouth and open your eyes, Francis. You'll aim better."
 * "A few years in the service mighta slimmed you down and shut you up, Francis."
 * "Don't be an ass, Francis."
 * "You know who's gonna survive this mess, Francis? It ain't the fellow makin' jokes."
 * "Hell, I was too old for this shit fifteen years ago."
 * "Those bastards are in for a big surprise!"

The following are lines used on the PC "commands" and "responces" lists when (by default) typing Z or X.

"Yes" responses
"All right buddy."

"Roger that."

"Arrgh" responces

 * "Bull frickin' horse shit!"
 * "Mother humper."

"Let's go" commands
"Everyone locked and loaded?"

Health related

 * [ When a Survivor dies ] "This is going to hell in a hand basket real fast!"
 * [ Upon seeing Francis' body ] "I'm gonna miss that man, and his gun."
 * [ Upon seeing Francis' dead body ] "Christ, I'm gonna miss that son of a bitch."
 * [ When a Survivor dies ] "I didn't sign up for this shit!"
 * [ When reviving a Survivor on their last life ] "No shame kid, I would have pissed myself too, but if we don't find you some first aid, you aren't gonna survive another hit like that.
 * "Holy shit, kid. Those bastards took a chunk outta ya. If we don't find you some first aid, you're not gonna survive another hit."
 * "Come on, get up! These jackasses aren't going to kill themselves."
 * [ Reviving Francis ] "Looks like your big mouth still works."
 * [ In critical need of healing ] "I'm about... To buy... The farm..."
 * "If I go down, don't let those bastards eat me."
 * "Ugh... I think I'm goin' home in a box."
 * [ When healed or revived ] "That was unnecessary... but, thanks."
 * "Thanks a lot."
 * "Hell, most'a this blood ain't mine!"
 * "M...Mother?"
 * "Francis, buddy, are you gonna use that First-Aid kit?"
 * "Zoey, can you spare me a health-kit?"
 * "Louis, you mind giving an old man your health-kit?"
 * "Godammit, I am seriously FUBAR!"
 * [ When picking up a first aid kit ] "First to aid, last to die."
 * [ When healing self ] "Wait up, I'm healing!"
 * "Don't get your panties in a bunch! I'm coming!"
 * [ Incapacitated Survivor outside safe room ] "No sense dying of old age, lets go help em."
 * "I can't leave Zoey out there!"
 * "How well do you really know Louis?"
 * "I'm kiddin', let's go get 'im!
 * "We will NOT leave a man behind! Let's get back out there!"
 * "Aw, shit, we really gotta go help em!"
 * "Zoey can't stay out there! We have to help 'er."
 * "Jesus! Francis is still out there!"
 * "Alright, let's go help."
 * [ If Louis dies ] "Come on people! If we make it, he didn't die for nothing!"
 * [ On low health ] "I don't feel so good..."
 * "Ahh shit, I ain't feelin' right."
 * "Dammit, I'm bleedin' out."
 * "Uhh... This old body ain't gonna make it."
 * "Mother of mercy."
 * "Ahh Louis!"
 * "Louis didn't make it... Agh Christ!"
 * [ If Zoey dies ] "Ah Jesus! What a waste!"
 * "Aghh.. not [tearing up] Zoey..."
 * "One of those sick sons of bitches just sealed all of their death warrants!"
 * [ When Louis helps him up and is, actually, behind him ] "Who are you?"

Weapon related

 * [ Picking up a pipe bomb ] "I'd rather have a grenade, but this'll do."
 * "A black powder bomb..."
 * "An assault rifle; This shit's gettin' more like 'Nam every second."
 * "An assault rifle? Heh, man this takes me back!"
 * "An Assault rifle, come to papa!"
 * "Reeloooaaaadiiiing!"
 * [ Upon seeing an ammo stash ] "Ammooo, here."
 * [ Upon seeing a molotov ] "Molotov, here."
 * "If it shoots bullets I'll take it"
 * "I'm grabbin' this shotgun."
 * "I'm taking this range rifle."

Infected related

 * [ When Francis calls the Infected "vampires" ] "They're zombies, Francis."
 * [ When a Witch is close to being startled ] "Hold on, that Witch is getting ready to pounce!"
 * [ When slimed by a Boomer ] "Goddamn it, son of a bitch!"
 * [ When a Hunter lands on Francis ] "Hunter pounced Francis!"
 * [ After a teammate has killed a Special Infected. ] "Damn, now that was a shot!"

No Mercy

 * "Ahh shit, Subway looks fulla zombies."
 * "I was hoping there'd be less zombies down here."
 * "We can take the subway tunnels to the hospital, there's a Red Line station not far from here."
 * "Station's just up the street."
 * [ Upon entering Holly Street Station and seeing the sign above the escalators ] "The Red Line North will take us to Mercy."
 * "Francis, is that you or the sewer?"
 * "I ain't walkin' to the roof!"
 * [ Hospital elevator, responding to Zoey questioning if things will return to normal ] "I'll see peace back on Earth if I gotta murder every one of these bastards with my bare goddamn hands!"
 * Louis: "That's what I'm talkin' about."
 * :Bill: "Damn straight."
 * "You call this a 'zombie apocalypse'? Don't hold a candle to the Great Zombie Attack of '57!" "...Nah, I'm just horse shittin' ya!"
 * "Even being in a war doesn't prepare you for this - they never stop, they come at ya and come at ya and they never goddamn stop."
 * [ Response to Francis' "I hate stairs" remark ] "Damn straight."
 * "We've been immune so far but, well, if I start to turn... promise you'll shoot me."
 * "We're fighting a war of attrition with a horde of brainless killing machines - I ain't exactly optimistic about our chances."
 * [When seeing the no smoking sign in the sewer]"Thats a crock a shit."

Death Toll

 * [ Speaking to the Church Guy ] "Son, we're immune, we're tired, and there's infected in the damn woods, now cut out the shit and let us in!"
 * "We're as human as they come, son, I promise ya!"
 * [ When Church Guy starts ringing the bell ] "This guy is nuttier than candy bar shit."
 * "I don't believe this shit, we're arguing for our lives here with a damn mental moron!"

Dead Air

 * [ When the plane crashes on the Runway ] "Bah - Jeezus..."
 * [ When exiting out onto the runway ] "Keep it together, people! We're almost home free!"
 * "Jesus H. Christ!"
 * "The C-130 is nice flyin'."

Blood Harvest

 * "Settle down Francis. Just use that radio, they'll come."
 * "These woods look thicker than Boomer shit. Nobody wander off."
 * [ After approaching a derelict trailer in Blood Harvest ] "Francis, does this look like home to you?"

Friendly Fire

 * [ When shot ] "Gah! Watch your fire, damn it!"
 * "Check your fire!"
 * "Watch your fire!"
 * "Jesus H. Christ, I'm on your side!"
 * "Watch where you're shooting!"
 * "Secure that weapon!"
 * "Do I look like a target?"
 * [ When shot by Francis ] "What the hell are you doing, Francis?!"
 * "FRANCIS!!!"
 * "Francis, check your fire!"
 * [ When shot by Zoey ] "ZOEY!!"
 * "Whose side are you on, kid?"
 * [ When shot by Louis ] "Knock it off, Louis!"
 * "LOOOUIIS!"
 * "Watch were you point that thing!"

Cut lines

 * Intro "I never liked hospitals much, and I like sewers even less. But I do love a chopper taking me out of a hell hole. So we went through the bowels of the city to get to the hospital and to a chopper sent from heaven."
 * "Poor gal didn't make it. Well, I understand."
 * "Get ready! I'm hitting the button."


 * Intro "We hiked down the road through some hick town and at the end there was a campground and a boat to a better place. And when I say a better place, that is pretty much anywhere other than here. Hell, even Cleveland would be better place."
 * "For all we know he's out there on a Huck Finn raft. Still, he's all we got."
 * "This'd better be a big goddamn boat."
 * "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we're gonna take your husband's offer."
 * "Miss, I think we're gonna take your husband's offer."
 * "We're gonna need a minute to think about it."


 * Intro "We planned on taking the rooftop route to avoid the crowds below. It was about a mile to the airport as the crow flies. But I guess the crow we were following was pretty drunk."
 * "I've seen 'em fly lower."
 * "Terry's dead, kid. We can get you gassed up if you like."
 * "It ain't Terry, pal. You want us to get you gassed up?"
 * "Terry's dead. You lookin' to fuel up?"
 * "Terry's dead, son. Can you get this plane in the air?"


 * Intro "We had no where else to go, so we followed the tracks to an old farmhouse. The farmhouse was real quaint, pretty, peaceful even. For about 15 seconds."
 * "Electrical fence!"
 * "Hit that power switch!"
 * "Get the power."
 * "Why can't one of these goddamn trains be working?"
 * "I got a hankering for some corn on the cob."
 * "I could go for some creamed corn."
 * "Anyone for just retiring here?
 * "I wonder what outfit is stationed there?"
 * "Probably the chickenshit national guard."
 * "I'll admit the government hasn't been a hell of a lotta help so far, but we're runnin' out of options here."


 * "I couldn't have done it without the tuna sandwich, I tell ya."
 * "How many fingers are you holding up?"
 * "Where am I?"
 * "Fer chrissake, Francis, don't take God's name in vain.
 * "Francis? You know what'd do us more good than all yer whinin' and jokin'? Shootin'."
 * "I ain't ready to meet my maker yet. But hearin' them animals outside, I'm happy to make some introductions."
 * "I don't want to piss on your parade, Louis, but what if it *doesn't* get better?"
 * "That's not what they said on TV."
 * "Francis, if they melted your yellow ass down, you couldn't be poured into a fight."
 * "Here's an awful thought. What if this thing evolves like a virus? I mean to say: what if bein' immune's not a lifetime guarantee?"
 * "Goddamnit. I can't even get a cold anymore without worryin' it's the early stages of zombieism."
 * "Ah well. Least I'm old. No offense to you kids, but I already had a full life."
 * "This just went pear-shaped! Fall back!"
 * "I blame Bill Clinton."
 * "Don't let Francis wear you down. He'd break his arm pattin' himself on the back."
 * "You two done chatting?"
 * "That sounds like a line of horseshit."
 * "How in the hell is this gonna to work?"
 * "You ever use one of these?"
 * "Well, this don't remind me of Nam."
 * "You're just spoutin' off ignorance."
 * "The future sure ain't what it used to be."
 * "Y'know, Francis, we'd all think you were a lot smarter if you said less."
 * "Francis, we might live through this if you stopped makin' jokes and started getting angry."
 * "I knew this day was comin'. They wouldn't listen."
 * "All right, it's official. I decided I hate zombies."
 * "As long as there's one of those ugly bastards left to shoot, I got a reason to keep on going."
 * "Way to land a chopper..."
 * "Francis, why don't you stop makin' trouble and start makin' some corpses."
 * "I'm gonna make an example out of the next one those things that jumps me."
 * "Zoey, Zoey, don't worry - I won't leave you."
 * "Relax, Zoey, you're gonna be fine."
 * "Hey, Francis. Funny meeting you here. Get up."
 * "Get up, Louis. Hell, you gotta be more careful, son."
 * "The man ain't comin' for you yet, Francis. Get up."
 * "Bein' brave doesn't mean you're not scared. It means you're scared as hell, and then you pick up the shotgun anyway."
 * "We'll live through this. Only the good and the really bad die young-and I figure we're somewhere in the middle."
 * "Ahhhh, dyin' ain't so scary. Happens all the time."
 * "That ain't gonna earn you any medals."
 * "Now that was some true amateur hour horseshit."