User blog:Riot Infected/How NOT to Survive a Green Flu Epidemic and why the Riot Infected Failed

"We should all learn from our past mistakes and work together towards a brighter future."

Better words were never spoken. In this seminar to all survivors trying to live in a world half-overrun by the vicious Green Flu Infection, Mercer, Security will demonstrate why our containment policies with CEDA to quarantine the southern United States failed and how we failed our own employees by neglecting to take the proper protective measures. Now, on to Step One.



Now most anti-zombie armour depicted in the media (And used by Mercer during the epidemic) looks like this. When you see the above image, you think, "Perfect." Well, it looks nice but let's examine it...

Firstly it has a lot of Grab-Points. A Grab-Point is quite literally anything an Infected can grab on to.



Boy, those sure are a lot of Grab-Points. I could grab those if tear gas and getting a good kicking didn't phase me. Oh wait, the Infected dosn't mind if you kick his ribs in and laughs at tear gas.

... but wait! Order now and you get twice as many grab points! That's $1000 value for only $250!



Yep, all those cool looking refugee-from-a-Blade-movie modular plates have edges that hungry fingers can grab on to and drag you screaming down!

... but we are not finished yet! Order today and we throw in these handy dandy biteable areas!



That's right folks! Not only do you get more grab-areas than regular jeans-and-t-shirt but you can be bitten once they have you!



In all seriousness, the armor looks cool...but that is what you're really getting.

A very nice looking suit of body-armour that will help you out once you have become a Infected, and will help the zombies latch onto you and bite you while you are still living. This suit is the opposite of helpful, it actively hinders your survival but makes for a tougher Infected once you have turned. So if that thing is a walking burrito-wrap for the Infection what is the answer?

Well, Mercer got thinking. What do Infected do? Infected people grab-and-drag, and they bite. That is it. Infected don't use guns, Infected don't throw bricks, Infected rarely punch or kick. You do not need armour plating designed to deflect and absorb blows as in riot gear, it is completely wasted on an Infected individual, and in fact will help them greatly. What you need is something with minimal straps and is designed to be bite-proof.

Either, way, if you dress like we did on the job during the Green Flu, you'll end up like...



....Exactly. You might end up like that.

 Inspired by ash1977law's anti-zombie survival guide on livejournal.com