Nick/Quotes

A list of Nick's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

Intro

 * [Seeing Ellis being attacked by a Jockey in the Zombie Survival Guide trailer]"Shit!!!"
 * [ Responding to Coach's complaints about climbing stairs in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Come on, Coach. Maybe the helicopter...maybe it's made of chocolate."
 * [ Seeing how the helicopters flee the area in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Looks like there's been a change of plans..."
 * [ In background ] "I have not...come this far...to die now."

General

 * "We got a safe house!"
 * [ Waiting for the other Survivors to get into the safe room ] "You do NOT want to make me come out there for ya!"
 * [ When the survivors finish a level ] "I'm starting to like you guys!"
 * "You guy's aren't so damn bad!"
 * "Happy new year!"
 * [ When two survivors or fewer survive a level, or if all survivors are low on health at the end ] "That was too close..."
 * "That was way... too... close."
 * [ At the beginning of a chapter ] "I'm in the middle of nowhere..."
 * "What the hell was this guy doing?"
 * "Hey Ellis, you like taters?"
 * "You sure we shouldn't just panic? I mean, I think panic was invented for just this sort of situation."

Commands
These are derived from the PC commands when using the Z, X, or C keys.

Argh

 * "This is all going to hell!"
 * "Goddammit!"
 * "Aw, tits!"
 * "SCREW THIS!"
 * "What an assclown."
 * "ASSCLOWN!"
 * "Shit."

Taunt

 * "We're the four riders of the goddamn apocalypse!"
 * "Take that, you mealy-mouthed bastards!"
 * "Stick that where the sun don't shine!"
 * "And that is how you do it!"
 * "Candyasses!"
 * "You don't stand a chance!"
 * "Suck on this!"

Lead the Way

 * "Whatever you say, Farmer Joe."

Ready

 * "Ok, we ready?" {askready01.wav}
 * "We ready?" {askready02.wav}
 * "Ready?" {askready03.wav}
 * "Everybody ready?" {askready04.wav}
 * "We ready?" (faster than askready02) {askready05.wav}
 * "We ready?" (slower tone than askready02) {askready06.wav}
 * "We ready?" (variant of askready06) {askready07.wav}
 * "Ready?" (slower variant of askready03) {askready08.wav}
 * "Everyone ready?" {askready09.wav}
 * "We ready?" (variant of askready06) {askready10.wav}

Thank you

 * "I owe you one."

Specific to Dead Center, in The Hotel

 * "Are you guys ready?" {askreadyc101.wav}
 * "You think you can handle this?" {askreadyc102.wav}
 * "If you aren't ready, I don't wanna hear it." {askreadyc103.wav}

Health related

 * [When in low health] "I Really screwed the pooch back there."
 * [when being brought back from the dead] "AHH...Don't ever do that again!!!"
 * "QUIT SHOCKING ME, WILL YA?"
 * "Stop shocking me!!"
 * [ When he grabs pills ] "Can always use these."
 * "I'll hold on to these pills."
 * "Ah, a little pick me up."
 * [ When incapacitated] "I can't do this on my own, give me some help!"
 * [ When healing another Survivor ] "Now don't waste this by getting pounced on or something."
 * "Let Doctor Nick fix ya up."
 * "Don't worry, I've done this before."
 * "I should probably save this for me, but...what the hell."
 * "Here, you've earned this."
 * [ When healing Rochelle or Ellis] "Don't tell the others...I'm only doing this for you." (in a low voice)
 * [ When low on life ] "Don't this beat all? I'm about to die..."
 * "God dammit god dammit god... dammit!"
 * "What was I thinking coming down here?"
 * "I'm not going to make it much longer, my friends."
 * "If I go, you guys are gonna miss me!"
 * "I have seriously felt better!"
 * "Pull yourself together, man. You're (grunts in pain) fallin' apart!"
 * "This is not - (grunts in pain) - how it's gonna end."
 * "I am sick...and tired...of being sick and tired."
 * "Okay, all right, you can do this... You can do this..."
 * [ When low on health in Swamp Fever ] "I am not going to become gator food..."
 * [ From the Zombie Survival Guide trailer/When low on health ] "I have not... come this far... to die now!"
 * "I am not going to die in this city"
 * [ When reviving another player ] "Get up, get up, get up!"
 * "Aw shit, get up, get up!"
 * "Don't worry, I'll get your ass out of this mess."
 * [ When Rochelle revives him ] "Thanks, Ro."
 * [ When reviving another survivor ] "We...I need you a little longer."
 * [ After healing ] "Ah. Better."
 * [ Reviving someone on their second down ] "You are messed up - if you don't get yourself healed up, that's it."
 * "You seriously cannot go down again, 'kay? 'Cause if you do, you're not going to make it."
 * "You're starting to worry me, i thought that is it for you but if you go down like that again thats it for you."
 * "I'm gonna get you up, but you go down again, that's it."
 * "We can't afford to lose you...yet."
 * [ When a Survivor dies ] "Ahhh, SHIT!"
 * [ When Rochelle dies ] "There goes repopulating the Earth."
 * "Rochelle, aw shit."
 * "Good night, Rochelle."
 * "I can think of two other people I would have rather seen go first."
 * [ When Coach dies ] "Aww....Coach..."
 * "Later, Coach."
 * "Shit, Coach...I'll miss ya."
 * "Goddamn it, Coach, what'd you leave me with?"
 * You were a hell of a man, Coach.
 * [ When Ellis dies ] "Ellis...aww...Ellis..."
 * "Ellis, I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did."
 * "Y'know all those things I said about you, Ellis? I was joking..."
 * [ When low on health in Hard Rain ] "Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat."
 * "What the hell were we thinking stopping here?"
 * "Easy there, fireball. Let me get you up."
 * "Guys, I seem to have slipped!"
 * "Try again, little man."
 * "Is this some kind of sick joke?"
 * "I call foul."
 * "What an ass-clown."
 * [ Reviving Everyone ]
 * "What's your name, here you go."
 * [Inside the Rescue Closet] "You know I'm going to be a big help. Just get me out of here!"
 * "I'm no use to anyone in here, get me out of here!"
 * [After Healing] "Alright, now I'm back."
 * [When very low on health] "Stop being a baby, you've felt worse after a night of drinking."
 * [When both Coach & Rochelle are dead] "Hey Ellis, you know all those things I said? I was kidding."

Weapon related
[ Axe ] "A freaking axe!"

"Axe."
 * [ Frying Pan ] "Gonna bonk some heads with this!"
 * "A skillet!"
 * "This'll work."
 * [ Cricket bat ] "This could be fun"
 * [ Golfclub] "Club Here"
 * "Grabbin' a driver!"
 * [ Molotov ] "Grabbing a Molotov."
 * [ Molotov ] "Molotov."
 * [ Bile Bomb ] "That can't be a bottle of puke, is it?"
 * "I can't believe I just said that."
 * "Puke in the hole!"
 * "Fight amongst yourselves!"
 * "Is that a bottle of puke?"
 * [ Chainsaw (while killing) ] "YEAAAAHHH" {battlecry01.wav}
 * "DIE, DIE!" {battlecry02.wav}
 * "SUCK ON THIS!" {battlecry03.wav}
 * "YEAH! DIE!" {battlecry04.wav}
 * [ Explosive Ammunition ] "Grabbin' some frag rounds!"
 * "Explosive rounds here!"
 * [ Incendiary Ammunition ]
 * "Grabbin' fire bullets!"
 * "Let's start some fires, people!"
 * [ Grenade Launcher ] "Time to make some zombie soup."
 * "Hell yeah, Grenade launcher!"
 * "Grenade launcher here!"
 * [ Crowbar ] "I cannot WAIT to find a crate." (A popular Half-Life reference)
 * [When throwing pipe bomb] "Pipe bomb out!"
 * "Chase this you zombie bastards!"
 * [ Upon picking up a Nightstick or Baseball Bat ] "I'm gonna whack the shit outta something with this."
 * "This is nice. I'm gonna crack some heads with it."
 * [ Upon finding weapons ] "Everybody grab a weapon!"
 * "Weapons over here."
 * "I''m not legally allowed to own a gun...hope everyone is okay with that.."
 * [ Finding a Magnum or picking up a cricket bat ] "Niiiiiiice!"
 * [Picking up a M60] "Shit,This is Heavy"
 * "Shit. Now this is a gun!"
 * [ Upon picking up Baseball Bat ] "This brings back some good memories."
 * "This is nice,Im gonna crack some heads with this."

Infected related
"Shoot him! Shoot him!" [Other]
 * [ Infected Jimmy Gibbs Jr. ] "God DAMN you, Jimmy Gibbs, Jr!"
 * [ Fallen Survivor (Unused) ] "Is that a survivor?"
 * "Did that zombie just drop something?"
 * "That zombie dropped something!"
 * [ Clown ] "Kill every clown you see!"
 * "Kill the clown, he's attracting more zombies!"
 * "Kill the clown!"
 * "That squeaking is driving the zombies crazy!"
 * "Shoot the clown!"
 * [ CEDA ] "Hazmat guys!"
 * "Guess those suits don't stop bites."
 * "Are those guys fireproof?"
 * [ Riot Infected ] "Those zombies are wearing armor?"
 * "Shoot the armored zombies in the back!"
 * [ The Hunter ] "Scrawny little bitch I'm gonna kill."
 * "Pay attention, Hunter's around."
 * [ The Charger ] "Hillbilly!"
 * "Overalls!"
 * "One Arm!"
 * "WE GOT A CHARGER!"
 * "Shoot the big guy pounding me into the ground!"
 * "Can someone shoot this goddamn thing?!?"
 * "This thing is beating my ass!"
 * "Kill this goddamn thing!"
 * "Charger's got me!"
 * "Keep your eyes peeled, I hear a Charger."
 * [ The Boomer ] "You hear that Boomer? Don't let him spew on you."
 * "Boomer around. Don't shoot him if he's near me! OKAY?"
 * "Goiter man!"
 * "Aunt Bee."
 * "Fat guy!"
 * "Fatty!"
 * "God damn it! I am covered in vomit again."
 * "I'm blind."
 * "Ahhh, this is some nasty shit."
 * [ The Smoker ] "Shoot the tongue! Shoot the tongue!"
 * "Smoker's GOT ME!!!"
 * "Freaking tongue!?"
 * "What the? Ahh, gross shit."
 * "TONGUE!"
 * "The smoking thing!"
 * [ The Spitter ]"Green thing!"
 * "Neck!"
 * "Hot stuff coming!"
 * "We got goo coming!"
 * "Fire spit coming!"
 * "There's a Spitter around."
 * "I got hit by the burning goo shit."
 * "Ugh, what in the hell did that thing just do?"
 * What is this shit on me?"
 * [ The Tank ] "I hope that's not bullet proof."
 * "We are screwed."
 * "Maybe if we don't move it won't see us."
 * "Okay, that's reason to panic."
 * "What in the hell sign of the apocalypse is that?"
 * "Freaking Tank is killing me!"
 * "Mother of Mercy! This thing is killing me!"
 * "Do you see this big giant thing on me?!"
 * "HOLY SHIT! BIG FREAKING ZOMBIE!"
 * "We have a problem!"
 * "WE GOT A TANK!"
 * "You Shoot the Tank!"
 * "Man up we got a Tank!"
 * [ The Jockey ]
 * "Little guy!"
 * "Little freak!"
 * "Kill this Jockey on me!"
 * "$10 Says it takes him to the left!"
 * [ After lighting several Infected on fire ] "Smells like dinner!"
 * [ When he hears a Hunter ] "You hear that Hunter?"
 * "Pay attention, there's a Hunter around."
 * "Scrawny Little Bitch I'm gonna Kill!"
 * [ When pummeled by Charger ] "(scared) Aah, Charger's got me!"
 * "Kill this beast, guys!"
 * "Shoot that Charger!"
 * "Shoot the big guy pounding me into the ground!"
 * [ When the horde is coming ] "This is why we've got guns!"
 * "God damn, its gettin' good!"
 * [ When he sees a Charger ] "Look out now! Charger!"
 * [ When Charger grabs Ellis ] "Charger... Ellis!"
 * [ Upon seeing a Tank ] "Shoot the Tank!"
 * "Everyone, shoot the Tank!"
 * "YOU! Shoot the Tank!"
 * "Tank inbound!"
 * "Get ready, we got a Tank!"
 * "Hold steady! Tank!"
 * [ When he is covered by Boomer's bile ] "Aw, Goddammit!"
 * "Urgh! This is nasty shit!"
 * "Uh, dammit. I am covered - In vomit - Again."
 * "I'm blind!"
 * [ When jumped by the Jockey ] "Get this thing off my back!"
 * "Get it off me!"
 * "Kill this Jockey on me!"
 * [ When stepping into the Spitter's acid ] "God dammit, that hurts!"
 * "What is this shit on me?"
 * "I got hit by the burnin' goo shit!"
 * [ Seeing Riot Infected ] "Those zombies are wearin' armor!"
 * [ When he hears a Jockey ] "One of those little Jockey bastards around."
 * [Upon hearing a Witch] "Heh, that sounds like my ex-wife."
 * [When a Jockey is riding a Survivor] "Ten bucks says he takes them to the right."
 * "A crying woman. What do you think, she's sad the mall's closed?"
 * "So that's a Charger, huh? I think he worked out that arm plenty. He should move onto back and legs."
 * "So that's a Charger, huh? Heh. You know what they say about zombies with one big arm..."
 * "So that's a Jockey, huh? Cute little guy."
 * "So that's a Spitter, huh? You think she's single?"
 * "So that's a Boomer, huh? You know, it's sad to see an eating disorder get out of control like that."
 * "So that's a Hunter, huh? What's he gonna do-go for a JOG at me?"
 * "So that's a Smoker, huh? Bet he's popular with the lady zombies."
 * "ELLIS! Leave that Witch alone."
 * [ When confronted with a Hazmat Infected ] "Guess those suits don't stop bites."
 * "Let's find another way. This suit's flammable."
 * "Watch out for the... the big fat thing!"

Shouting at the helicopter

 * "Hey get back here!"
 * "God dammit we missed it!"
 * Hey, come back I'm here!"

Deciding to follow the helicopter

 * "Good, that's decided. Moving on: I think this building's on fire. Sooo... I'd like to leave it."
 * "Okay, we all had a turn yelling at the helicopter. Good. Moving on: I think the building's on fire."
 * "Okay. Helicopters don't come back when you yell at 'em. Valuable lesson, you three tuck that away for later. Now grab a weapon and follow me. This goddamn building's on fire."
 * "Hey! Loud girl. (Rochelle) Hayseed. (Ellis) Tons of fun. (Coach) This building? It's on FIRE. Grab a weapon and let's get the hell out of here." (Tons of fun is one of the scouts lines for dominating the heavy in TF2)

Grabbing weapons before going down

 * "I hope you three know how to fight. You don't look it."
 * "Lets grab some weapons, I have a feeling somethings down there."

Seeing the Infected

 * [Upon seeing the Tank] "HOLY SHIT! BIG FREAKING ZOMBIE!"
 * [Upon seeing the Tank] "If we don't move, maybe it won't see us."
 * [Upon seeing the Tank] "What the hell kind of sign of the apocalypse is that!"
 * [Upon seeing the Tank] "WE ARE SCREWED!"

Seeing the CEDA map

 * "Jesus the whole country's falling."
 * "Looks like New Orleans is the last place on Earth that can get us out alive."
 * "This map is NOT good news."
 * "According to this map there aren't a whole lot of options."

Seeing a working elevator

 * "Technically... you're not supposed to use an elevator in a fire. But that might not apply during a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE."

Nick introducing himself

 * "I'm Nicolas... Nick."
 * "Name's Nick, but don't bother learning it 'cause I ain't sticking around much longer."

Reacting to other survivor's introduction in the elevator

 * [ If Rochelle has the most kills by the time you get to the elevator ] "You did good out there, Rochelle."

Encountering Whitaker

 * "So let me get this straight, we go get you your shit and you'll help us get to the mall. Alright, okay, you screw us, and I'm gonna kill you with your own gun."
 * "Sir, for the use of this gun, I will go get you your cola."
 * "Buddy, if you can get me out of this alive? I will deep-fry you an entire goddamn cow."

Entering/Going Through the Mall

 * "Disco pants and haircuts? Man, lots of space in this mall"
 * [ In safe room entering the mall ] "If anyone sees a men's store, let me know; I've got blood on my suit."
 * [Upon seeing a poster of Jimmy Gibs and having a conversation with Coach about him] "Really? Cause he looks like an Asshole!"

Upon seeing the abandoned evac center

 * "Okay, so the evac station's abandoned, annnnd we're at the center of a zombie-filled building. But on the bright side? We're all probably gonna die."
 * "Jesus I knew it, nothing here!"
 * "No one's alive in here."
 * "CEDA leaving me twice in one day, lesson learned."
 * "We have a problem!"

Pouring gas into the stock car

 * [Pouring gas into the stock car] "Get in the tank, you stupid goddamn gas, get in the tank."
 * "Piece of shit gas, GET IN THE CAR!"
 * "Get in the tank! Come on comeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeon come on!"
 * "Gas! GET IN THE TANK!"

Unsorted

 * [ Upon entering the gun store in The Streets ] "Alright! A candy store for adults!"


 * "HELICOPTER. It is a HELICOPTER. You call that thing a 'whirly-bird' one more time, I'll beat you SO bad, your sister's gonna wish she never gave birth to you."
 * "I guess living here's finally paying off."
 * Coach: "Mister, I don't think I like your attitude."
 * Nick: "Whatever."


 * [ After hearing Ellis's idea at the finale ] "Well that beats my idea, staying here and dying in the mall."
 * Nick: "I'll agree to the idea, but I'm driving."
 * Ellis: "Actually, I think the guy who came up with the idea to drive the stock car should get to drive the stock car."[Alternate Line]"Only if I get killed. Otherwise you better kill me, cause I'M driving"
 * Nick: "What a fun road trip this will be."

The Port
Francis: "Ahhh go to hell, suit.[Alternate Line] Bite me, Colonel Sanders "
 * [At the beginning when talking to Francis] "I'm telling you the last goddamn time, lower the goddamn bridge, you greasy, vest wearing monkey."

[When talking to Zoey] "Thats terrific cupcake, is there a man up there we can talk to?

Zoey: "Boohoo, i dont know what to do... Go to hell, Colonel Sanders."

Rochelle: "I can't believe you used to be a conartist."

Zoey: "I could shoot you where you stand."

Nick: "Hey, lighten up. Man no one can take a joke anymore."
 * [Upon seeing this wedding] "Wedding music, and a crying women left at the altar. This is bringing back some bad memories."
 * [When Coach is looking for the Wedding cake]"Coach, no time for cake."
 * "Careful. I've seen a bride just like this before."
 * Coach: "Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo."

The Underground

 * "If anybody sees any hand sanitizer, let me know."
 * Rochelle: (laughter) "You're kidding right?"


 * Nick: "Yeah, hahaha, a little more hand sanitizer and we wouldn't be in this mess."


 * "I don't have a problem with leaving the car AND you behind. Okay, Ellis."
 * "Lets hurry across the plank before Smoker gets us"
 * [ Upon entering the sewers ] "Oh, this is some gross shit."
 * [After entering the water] "It's just a storm sewer, it is just a STORM sewer..."
 * Ellis: "Don't smell like one."


 * Nick: "Ellis, I need this."


 * "I am breathing shit air into my lungs, it is being absorbed into my bloodstream. I am literally full of shit."
 * [ During the Gauntlet Crescendo ] "Goddammit! Back into the shit water!"
 * "Back in the water."
 * "Don't stop in the sewer!"
 * [Upon seeing the suitcase full of guns and money] "I like the way this guy packs!"
 * "From one con man to another: five bucks for this? I tip my hat to you, Rayford."
 * "Five goddamn bucks for a tour under the river? Well played, Rayford...well played"
 * "I'll give a thousand bucks to whoever gives me a piggyback ride."
 * "So... it's an antique basement... Fantastic"
 * "Ellis, did you get that girl's name? 'Cause I can tattoo it on your ass. She'll like that."
 * "I guess they'll help right? First we fill up Jimmy Gibbs car with gas, now a generator. What next? Don't answer that Ellis."

The Port

 * [ While in the safe room ] "So we're about to see that girl again--what's her name, Zoey?"
 * Ellis: "Okay, you know what? No need to remind me, Nick. I'm a nervous wreck over here."


 * Nick: "What're you nervous about? You had your chance, and you didn't do shit. Now, you can watch Nick take care of business."


 * Rochelle: "Nick, being one of the last two women alive, I can safely say at least half of the women in this world hate you." [Alternate Line] "Nick, you need to find a woman who hates herself. Then she'll love you."


 * [ In response to Ellis asking how he looks ] "Like you ran through a sewer."
 * Ellis: "Well, there's a turd on your shoulder."
 * Nick: "I'm not even gonna look."

Nick: "Uh... I put it there."
 * [ In response to Louis killing something ] "You're a badass with that gun, Louis!"
 * "Hey Louis, are you sure you don't wanna come with us? We can leave Ellis behind."
 * [ When filling up the generator ] "Why is everything always empty?"
 * "Why does nothing ever have enough gas in it!?"
 * Francis: "Well, at least I don't have a turd on my shoulder."
 * [ In response to Rochelle defending Ellis when Nick teases him about Zoey ] "What? I'm a handsome man."

Dark Carnival

 * [ At the start of the Dark Carnival ] "I hate to be the bearer of bad news guys, but unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we AIN'T driving through this."
 * Ellis: "Sorry, guys. I guess my idea wasn't so hot after all."
 * Nick: "Don't sweat it, Ellis. At least you got us out of that mall."
 * [Alternative Line] "Goddamn you, Jimmy Gibbs Jr!"
 * Ellis: That's not cool Nick. Seriously [ Alternate line ] "Now that was uncalled for. Serious."


 * "I think our options are keep moving down the road towards those lights or die here."
 * "Anyone in the camp die here?"
 * "No? Then let's move out."
 * [After Coach comments on having gone to Whispering Oaks as a child] "Oh, good. Now we can die there as adults."
 * [On The Highway] "These abandoned cars go on for miles!"
 * Coach: "Maybe they left em' when they got rescued."
 * Nick: "That's...one theory."


 * [ Upon noticing the burned bodies in the pool at the motel in 'The Highway ]''' "WOW. These people SUCKED at high diving.
 * [ Upon seeing the pool in The Highway ] "They're not kidding when they say no lifeguards on duty."
 * [ While going down the hill in the first chapter ] "Whoa, Shit!"
 * [ After going down the hill in the first chapter and Ellis makes a comment about going downhill being "fun" ] "Falling and breaking my neck is not fun, Ellis."
 * [While looking at the Lil' Peanut cutout in Dark Carnival ] "I do not like that little peanut man."
 * Ellis: "Man, how can you not like Lil' Peanut? I love this little guy!"


 * "Anybody else find this peanut thing a little terrifying?"
 * [ Before The Fairgrounds Crescendo event. ] "You gotta be this tall to get in here, Ellis. Sorry, buddy. You'll be missed."
 * Ellis: "Ha ha. Aren't you the comedian."


 * "Nice fencing. Looks like a federal carousel penitentiary."
 * "A fenced in carousel, is this where they took child prisoners on day trips?"
 * [ Upon seeing the switch to the Crescendo Event ] " We need to turn on this power to open the gate. You know what i think its gonna activate everything else around here."
 * [ In the second safe room in Dark Carnival ] "Why couldn't I have been in Las Vegas when the Infection hit, or even Atlantic city? Instead, I'm trapped in some hillbilly tunnel of love."
 * "Did you see the sign out front? Cousins-only day today."
 * [ In the beginning of the tunnel of love ] "You finally got your wish, Ellis. We're in an amusement park ride."
 * Ellis: "This ain't that kind of ride, Nick. (Whispers) This is where you make out with your girlfriend."
 * [Alternative Line] "Bringing back any memories, Coach? You, a cheeseburger, romance in the air..."
 * Coach: "How many Tunnel of Love memories YOU got, Nick?"
 * Nick: "Pfft. Huh. Several. Easily."


 * [While moving through the Tunnel of Love in The Coaster]: "You could almost call this a cee-ment river Ellis!"
 * Ellis: "Ha ha, very funny."


 * "Into the swan maintenance room of love!"
 * "That got us around the block."
 * [Running on the tracks during The Coaster ] "These Infected do NOT respect lines!"
 * "Thank God this doesn't do a loop."
 * "I hate roller coasters."
 * "Make sure to call out if you get pulled."
 * [At the start of The Concert]
 * [In response to Coach's plan] "Coach that is the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with"
 * [ Beginning of Dark Carnival's Finale ] "I know I'm going to regret this, but turn it up!"
 * "Okay, we'll set off the pyrotechnics, but I'm telling you right now. I AM NOT GOING TO AIR GUITAR."
 * "I think I know how to start the finale, hit the button labeled Finale."
 * "When I hit this tape, it's gonna blare some old people's rock music and start the finale. Get ready."
 * "Coach, when I start this finale, you aren't gonna start dancing are you? Ahh, screw it, I'm hitting it."
 * "If you have any taste, cover your ears, I'm starting the finale."
 * "Hit the flash bangs!"
 * "I think the copter pilot wants us to turn it down."
 * "Ellis, I'm sorry to ruin your day, but I think your heroes are lip-singers. There's a button here labeled 'Finale'."
 * [After seeing the helicopter in The Concert]
 * "Coach, you're a genius! This worked!"
 * "It worked! I love you, Coach!"
 * "Great, following shiny lights in the sky, we're like freaking cats and a laser pointer."

Swamp Fever

 * [ In response to Ellis' reaction to him killing the pilot ] "Well, he wasn't doing a very good job once he became a zombie, now was he?"
 * "I shot a zombie. He was a zombie, Ellis. He must have gotten bitten before he picked us up."
 * Rochelle: "That's true. If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it would probably be when he stopped flying the chopper and..attacked us. Anyone know where we are?"


 * "I still can't believe none of you were going to shoot him."
 * [ In response to Ellis talking about the Blood Farmers ] "Jesus Christ Ellis, like the goddam zombies aren't bad enough."
 * [ When jumping into deep water in Swamp Fever ] Nick: "This swamp is gonna mess up my white suit!"
 * Rochelle: "You mean the one covered in zombie brains?"
 * Nick: "Brains come out, swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know."

Rochelle: "So what do you think is going to kill us? Gators, snakes, bugs, or mud people?
 * Nick: You're forgetting one thing, from the way we're shooting? Each other."


 * [When crossing the river in Plank Country] Rochelle: "Nick, what do you think the odds are that the swamp people are still alive?"
 * Nick: "You mean, alive Infected, or alive and not zombies?"
 * Rochelle: "Not zombies."
 * Nick: "100 to 1."
 * Rochelle: "Sounds about right."

Hard Rain

 * [While moving through the Witch-infested sugar mill] "The last time I saw this many crying women was at my wedding."
 * [At the beginning of the campaign] "What are we supposed to signal him with?"
 * Ellis: "Oh, there's flares in the gun bag
 * Nick: "What gun bag?"
 * Ellis: "You didn't grab the guns?"
 * Nick: "ME? Who died and made me gun monitor?"
 * Ellis: "Pretty much everybody."


 * Alternative conversation
 * Rochelle: "Well, this should be easy. All we need is to find some diesel."
 * Nick: "Anybody wanna hear a prediction?"
 * Everyone in synchronization: "No!"
 * Nick: "There's not gonna be any gas. Watch."


 * [Seeing the sign at the first gas station] Nick: "Out of gas...what did I tell ya."

Ellis: "Looks like we gotta head to this Ducatel place" 

Nick: "What makes you think they still have gas" 

Coach: "Cause if they dont, were gonna be stuck here forever Nick"


 * Looks like our milk run just became a marathon.

The Parish

 * [ The beginning of The Parish ] "I... have not... come this far... to die now."
 * [ In response to Coach saying how close they are to the bridge ] "You mean that blurry line in the horizon? Let's not get ahead of ourselves."
 * [ Alt ] "Yeah, well seeing the bridge and getting there are two different things."


 * [ When the fighter jets fly by at the beginning of The Parish ] Coach: "All right! The military's still here!"
 * Nick: "You don't evacuate people in fighter jets."
 * [ Alt ] Coach: "They still flyin' jets!"
 * Nick: "I wonder if that's a good thing."


 * [ Response to Ellis's horse comment ] "Ever eaten horse? Tasty."
 * Ellis: "Horses are for ridin', not eatin', Nick."


 * [ Upon seeing the bathrooms in The Park  ] "From the looks of this park, I'm glad we didn't arrive early."
 * Nick: "Oh man it, smells awful in here."/"It smells like... piss."
 * Ellis: "I think it smells kinda nice."
 * Nick: "You're screwed up in the head, you know that?"


 * [ Upon seeing uninfected dead bodies ] "These are people! They were killing people! I told you this was a bad idea."
 * Coach: "How's it feel to be so right, Nick?"
 * Nick: "Not good..."


 * [ Before starting The Park's Crescendo Event ] "As soon as we open that door, get ready to run for the tower."
 * Ellis: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait... why we goin' to the tower?"
 * Nick: "We run to the tower, and we turn off the alarm!"
 * Ellis: "Oh! Okay, okay, I get it!"


 * [ Upon seeing the hash marks on the barricaded bedroom wall ] "Does this guy's scorecard mean what I think it means?"
 * "Jesus, it was open season on everything out here."
 * [ Upon entering the sewers ] "I am not going in the se-- ah screw it! Let's go."
 * "Oh Christ, not the sewer."
 * "Ugh. What's that SMELL?"
 * [ Upon taking a Nightstick from a dead Riot Cop ]"I used to steal these from cops back in high school."
 * "If my friends ever saw me usin' a cop's gun..."
 * [ Upon entering the impound lot ] "Whoawhoawhoawhoa watch where you shoot!"
 * "If you wanna shoot cars, lets shoot cars!"
 * "Careful Carrrefullll..."
 * [ After reaching the freeway after the impound lot ] "We made it, I can't believe we actually made it!"
 * [ Fighter jets blow up the freeway in front of him ] "OH COME ON!!!"


 * [ In The Quarter's safe room, as bombs are being dropped ] "Christ those guys are such assholes."
 * [ In The Bridge's safe room ] Nick: "Before we run across this bridge right toward the people who've been dropping bombs on us, anyone wanna talk about a Plan B?"
 * Ellis: "I don't." / Coach: "Well you free to make yourself a new life right here in this room Nick."
 * Nick: "Alright then, let's go."

Friendly Fire

 * [ When shot at ] "Are you really going to shoot a guy in a $3,000 suit? Come on!"
 * "DON'T. SHOOT. ME."
 * "YOU. ARE. SHOOTING. ME."
 * "Well thank you for ventilating my suit."
 * "Why would you think shooting me is a good idea?"
 * "Let's try shooting zombies instead of people, okay?"
 * "Damn!... You suck at shooting."
 * "You shoot me again, and I'll drop ya'."
 * "Shoot me again. Shoot me again, I dare ya'."
 * "Shoot me again, I'm not dead yet!"
 * "Stop shooting me."
 * "Shooting me, doesn't get us, anywhere!
 * "Do that again and I will bury you alive."
 * "Can we not shoot each other, please?"
 * "Can you stop shooting me?"
 * "I don't know who started this shit, 'kay? But let's just stop the friendly fire right now."
 * "Unless you want to be picking your teeth up off the floor, stop shooting me."
 * "WHAT THE-"
 * "OH COME ON!"
 * [ When Ellis attacks him ] "DUMBSHIT!"
 * "Jesus Christ Ellis, like the goddam zombies aren't bad enough."
 * "Christ, Ellis, as if the zombies aren't bad enough."
 * "Ellis, come on man!"
 * [ When Coach attacks him ] "Coach, c'mon, man."
 * [ When Rochelle attacks him ] "Sweetheart? Don't shoot me."
 * "Rochelle!"
 * [ In a calm voice ] "Don't shoot each other."
 * [ After someone says Nick shot them ] "If you'd looked out, you wouldn't get hit!"
 * [ When a teammate is shot by someone else ] "Stop shooting each other!"

Scavenge

 * [ Upon the beginning of a Scavenge match ] "Let's get some gas."
 * [ While pouring gas into the generator ] "Come on... Come-onnn..."
 * "Piece of shit gas, GET IN THE CAR!"
 * [ When there's one more gas can remaining to make the player's team win a Scavenge match ] "One more can to go!"
 * [ When winning a scavenge match ] "We're makin' it look easy!"

Giving an item in general

 * "It's more blessed to give than receive." {alertgiveitem01.wav}
 * "Have this." {alertgiveitem02.wav}
 * "Just take this." {alertgiveitem03.wav}
 * "This is for you." {alertgiveitem04.wav}
 * "Here, I don't need this." {alertgiveitem05.wav}
 * "Take it, just take it." {alertgiveitem06.wav}

Giving an item during Dead Center where they haven't exactly known each other yet

 * "Hey you, take this." {alertgiveitemc101.wav}
 * "Hey, what's your name, here you go." {alertgiveitemc102.wav}

Adrenaline Shot (spotted)

 * "Adrenaline Shot here!" {adrenaline01.wav}
 * "Grabbing a shot!" {adrenaline02.wav}

He simply grunts (whoah!) when he uses it. {adrenaline03.wav}

Unused
These quotes appear in the game files but are not used in-game.
 * "The boardwalk still smells like popcorn and this back alley still stinks like piss."
 * "What are you, an unfriendly hippie? I thought you all had to be friendly?"
 * "No one else is alive here, okay? There's gotta be some sort of deal we can work out."
 * "Wow, yeah. That's really cool. I'm sure Dusty will be honored."
 * "I bet he's got a working shower in there and he isn't using it."
 * "Always a stinking hippie. I swear to god, it always come back to making a stinking hippie happy."
 * "There better be gas in that tour bus."
 * "There's the tour bus! Get into the garage!"
 * "Just go, just go, he isn't coming with us."
 * "Goodbye, Mr. Hippie!"
 * "Of course it's full of zombies. The whole god damn world is full of zombies. See you in a few minutes."
 * "You know what I like best about your stories, Ellis? The sound they make when they stop."
 * "Because all you THINK about is ribs, Coach."
 * "I trust you. You look like a man who knows his donuts.
 * "Crumbs? Really, Coach? That's how you swear?"
 * "Lead on, MacDuff."
 * "No Ellis, I've never seen anything like this."
 * "Hm. This'd be really awkward if I gave a shit about your feelings."