Louis/Quotes and Captions

A list of Louis' Quotes and cut quotes, also known as Captions, in Left 4 Dead.

Intro

 * [ Upon hearing an incoming horde ] "Oh shit, SHIT, SHIIT! THEY'RE COMING!"
 * [ Upon startling the Witch ] "WHAT THE?!"
 * [ While shooting the Witch ] "AHHHH! DIE! DIE! DIE!"
 * [ While shooting the Witch ] "DO YOU NOT DIE?!"
 * [ Calling out to a passing helicopter ] "Heeeey! We're over here! We're not infected! Down here! Dammit!"
 * [ When pounced by the Hunter ]  "GET IT!"
 * [ Asking Bill the attack plan for an incoming Tank ] "Run, or shoot? RUN OR SHOOT?"
 * [ While running down an alleyway and pointing out a staircase to the rooftops ] "Get to the roof!"
 * [ Upon dodging the Tank's rock throw ] "Heads up!"
 * [ Upon reaching the safety of the roof ] "We made it...I can't believe we made it!"

General

 * "Well, it can only get better, right?"
 * "Humanity's gonna bounce right back - you watch!"
 * "When things go back to normal, Zoey, Bill, I'm giving you both jobs. Francis, I'm gonna teach yo ass how to read."
 * "Oh c'mon, cheer up, we're almost through."
 * "Guys at the office used to laugh at me when I hit the rifle range at lunch. Ain't so damn funny now, is it?!"
 * "How long were you in prison, Francis?"
 * "They comin'! You guys ready?"
 * "I...am bad. Ahhaha, I am bad! Yes I am! Whooo! That's right, let's call ourselves the Unstoppables!"
 * "Oh yeah! Who's yo mama?! Who's yo daddy?!"
 * [ Arrival to the finale ] "I knew we were going to make it!"
 * "We're almost outta here."
 * "[ Belch ] 'Scuse me."

The following are lines used on the PC "commands" and "responses" lists when (by default) typing Z or X.

"Yes" responses

 * "I'm cool with that."
 * "Yes."
 * "Cool."
 * "Okay."
 * "Allright"
 * "Yeah"

"No" responses

 * "That's some country-ass bullshit!"
 * "No way."
 * "Nope."
 * "Not a chance."
 * "No."
 * "No way man."
 * "Uh uh"

"Hurrah" responses

 * “BOOM-diah!"
 * “WOOOOOO! Baby, aw riiiight!"
 * “Hell yeah!"
 * “Nothing can stop us!"
 * “We are gonna be OK!"
 * “They can`t stop us now!"
 * “I-am bad. I AM BAD. YES I AM. WHOO!"
 * "We're gonna be okay."
 * “Nothing can stop us, you hear me, nothing!"
 * "Nice job."

"Arrgh" responses

 * “OH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * "OOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Wait" responses

 * "Hold up, lets wait here"
 * "Chill, lets wait here"
 * "Hold up, hold up"

"Thank you" responses

 * “Yo, thanks man."

"Let's go" commands

 * "All right, let's go."
 * "Time to move" (alternative that has a typo misspelling "Time" as "Tme)
 * "Let's go."
 * "Let's move, let's move!"
 * "I really think we should keep moving."
 * "Whaddya say we get moving?"
 * "Let's go."

"Lead on" commands

 * "You take the lead."

"Look" commands

 * “Safe house up ahead!"
 * “Oh, man. Look at this!"
 * “Look at this."
 * "Oh man, you better look at this."
 * “Check this out."
 * “Over there."
 * “Look!"

Looking at Pills

 * “Grab some pills over here!"
 * "Pills here!"

Taking Pills

 * "Grabbin' pills."
 * "I'd better grab everything I can."
 * "All I know is I'm grabbin PILLS!"

Giving Pills

 * “Take this."
 * “Here, I got something for you."

Taking First Aid Kit

 * “Grabbing First Aid."
 * "First Aid."

Zoey Dies

 * "Damn, Zoey.." (chokes up)
 * "Zoey! My plans! MY PLANS!"
 * "Zoey! Goddammit!"
 * "GODDAMMIT ZOEY WAKE UP!"

Bill Dies

 * "Bill! Aw, shit!'
 * "This shit was not in my plans!"
 * “Oh shit, Shit, SHIT!"
 * “NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Francis Dies

 * "Francis! No!"
 * "Jesus, Francis, no! Francis!"

Medium Health

 * [ To Zoey ] "Zoey, any chance I could get some First-Aid?"
 * [ To Francis ] "Francis, mind spottin' me a Med-kit?"
 * [ To Bill ] "Bill, could I get some First-Aid?"

Critically Low Health

 * "I ain't dyin' man, death gonna have to pry me off the Earth."
 * "If I go down, go on without me—actually no, wait, save my ass."
 * "Any of you guys cub scouts? Surprisingly ineffective at preparing you for some shit like this!"
 * "I ain't got time to bleed! Oh hell, I am bleeding!"
 * "Oh man...every damn thing hurts."
 * "I don't wanna die. I know nobody wants to die, but...I'm like fifty times that!"
 * "At this rate...I...I'm not gonna make it..."
 * "I'm not kidding. We need to find me some First-Aid."

Incapacitated

 * “Can't anyone hear me? I need some help over here!"
 * “What part of help do you not understand?! HELP!"
 * [ Screams ]
 * “Need a little help over here!"
 * “Can't you hear me?! I need some help!"
 * “I NEED some HELP!"

Healing Self

 * “Wait up while I heal."
 * "Hold up, I gotta heal."
 * "Cover me."
 * "Watch my back."

Zoey has Low Health

 * "Go on and heal up, girl."

Bill has Low Health

 * “Maybe you oughta heal up."
 * "Hey Bill. Might be a good time to patch yerself up."

Francis has Low Health

 * “Hey tough guy, heal up."
 * “Francis, you should use your med-kit."

Being Revived

 * "Yo, thanks, man."

If Zoey is Incapacitated outside Safe Room

 * "Zoey! Oh, no. What do we do?"

If Bill is Incapacitated outside Safe Room

 * "Bill! C'mon guys, lets go help 'im."

If Francis is Incapacitated outside Safe Room

 * "C'mon, aren't we gonna help him?"

Hanging From Ledge

 * "Help me, I need some help!"
 * "Don't you hear me? I need some help!"
 * "I need some help over here!"

Reviving Survivor

 * "I'm no doctor, but you're not dead yet. Let's get you back up, okay?"
 * [ When Bill says "Who are you?" if Louis helps him up ] "It's me, Louis! Come on, man."
 * "How bad are you?"
 * "You'll be okay."
 * "You gonna make it?"
 * [ When a survivor is on last down ] I can help you up, but Jesus, you shouldn't be alive, man. If we don't find you some first aid, you're not gonna survive another hit.

Healing Survivor

 * “This should last until we're safe."
 * "Hold on, this'll help."
 * “Hold up, I'm gonna heal you."

Seeing Pipe Bomb

 * “Pipe bomb here!"
 * “Pipe bomb!"

Taking Pipe Bomb

 * "This shit looks real jury-rigged."
 * "Whoa, this'll blow some up!"
 * "Grabbing a pipe bomb."

Throwing Pipe Bomb

 * “GRENADE!"
 * “FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
 * “DUCK AND COVER!"

Seeing Molotov

 * “Molotovs here!"
 * “Molotovs over here!"

Taking Molotov

 * "Grabbing a molotov."
 * "Molotov..."

Throwing Molotov

 * "GRENADE!"

Finding Ammo Pile

 * “Ammo here!"

Finding Weapon(s)

 * “Weapons!"
 * “Weapons over here!"

Taking Pistol

 * "Grabbing an extra pistol."
 * "Extra pistol? Might come in handy!"

Taking Submachine Gun

 * "Oh, MAN! This is just like Counter-Strike!"

Taking Assault Rifle

 * "This rifle is MINE!"
 * "Oh HELL yes!"
 * "This big rifle is now MINE!"

Seeing Minigun

 * "Now *this* is a big-ass machine gun!"
 * "Man, check this gun out!"
 * “Man, I always wanted to fire one of these things!"
 * "Check out this gun up here!"

Taking Shotgun

 * "Oh, I'm grabbin' a shotgun!"
 * "Got the shotgun."
 * "I'll take this shotgun."

Taking Hunting Rifle

 * “This is a nice rifle."

Other

 * [ When picking up a crowbar ] "Man, I feel like I'm Gordon Freeman!"

Boomer

 * [ Spotting a Boomer ] "BOOMER!"
 * [ Vomited on by Boomer ] "Ewww! agh! ugh! (spits)"
 * "(spits) shit!"

Hunter

 * [ When Hunter is in area ] "Careful now. There's a Hunter around."
 * [ When pinned down by a Hunter ] "Ahhh! Get off me! Get it off me!"
 * [ Spotting a Hunter ] "HUNTER!"
 * [ Hunter pounces survivor ] "Hunter on Zoey/Bill/Francis!"

Smoker

 * [ Being pulled by Smoker ] "No, no, NO, NOOOOOO!!!"
 * [ Choked by Smoker ] "Help!"
 * [ Spotting a Smoker ] "SMOKER!"

Tank

 * [ Spotting Tank ] "TANK!"
 * [ "Getting Crush by the Tank" ] "GET THIS THING OFF ME!! AH SHIT AH SHIT STOP THIS THING!! IT'S CRUSHING ME!! AHHH IT'S CRUSHING ME!! SHOOT IT, I CAN'T BREATH, SHOOT IT!!

Witch

 * [ Hearing Witch ] "There's a witch around here!"
 * "I hear a damn Witch!"
 * "Hold on hold on, Shh. That's a Witch!"
 * [ Telling Survivors to kill the lights ] "Lights off!"
 * "Kill the light man."
 * [ Responding to an angry Witch ] "That Witch ain't gonna hold still much longer!"
 * "Oh man, do not piss the Witch off."
 * "Stop freaking out the damn Witch!"
 * "The Witch is getting up!!"
 * "Will you stop that shit? The witch ain't gonna sit still much longer."

Horde

 * [ When Francis calls the Infected vampires ] "They're not vampires man they zombies!"
 * [ After alerting horde ] "Here they come!"
 * "They're coming!"
 * "Incoming!"

Killing Special Infected

 * “Got it!"
 * “Dead!"(2 versions)
 * "Killed it!"

Another Survivor Kills Special Infected

 * "POW!"
 * "Nice shot!"(2 versions)
 * "Great shot!"
 * "That was great!"

No Mercy

 * [ Upon reaching the street in the apartments ] "Subway station's just around the corner!"
 * [ Upon reaching the pawn shop ] "Safe house in the pawn shop!"
 * [ Upon entering the sewers ] "This is not going to be sanitary..."
 * "Well into the sewers we go"
 * [ When climbing up the stairs in Mercy Hospital ] "Were they saving people or killing them?"
 * "This doesn't smell like a hospital..."
 * [ In response to Bill's hatred of stairs ] "It's good for you, Bill! Cardio!"
 * "Stairs are a good workout!"


 * [ Upon reaching the 28th floor ]  "We need to find access to the roof!"
 * "We need to find roof access."
 * [ Upon reaching the rooftop ] "There's the landing pad."

Crash Course

 * [ Before starting the Crescendo Event on The Alleys ] "Someone's gotta fire this big ass machine gun."
 * [ Upon seeing the pilot's corpse ] "Poor guy. He tried to help us."
 * [ At the start of Crash Course ] "I've got a bad feeling about this...Oh, it passed. I think we're gonna be just fine."
 * [ At the start of Crash Course ] Francis: "You're still wearin' that tie, Louis? What, you got a meeting? Hah hah!"
 * Louis: "That's funny, Francis, why don't you take your mustache, and your little vest and your chaps find yourself a parade?"
 * Francis: "I don't see whats wrong with vests..."


 * [ When starting the generator ] "C'mon, c'mon, you damn generator, start!"
 * [ When coming across an alley in Truck Depot Finale  ] "Hey Francis, wasn't this the alley you were born in?"
 * Francis: "Yeah, hahaha. Is this the one you're gonna die in?"


 * “Team building exercise every Tuesday. Man, they ought to try this zombie bullshit."
 * “Well I guess we're walking."
 * Francis: "I hate walking."
 * Louis: "But five minutes ago, you hated flying."
 * Francis: "And it turns out I was right about that."


 * “On the bright, look at all the great scenery we would've missed if we flew over this in a helicopter, huh."
 * [ Upon seeing a magazine rack ]"Wall Street Weekly. There's no more Wall Street Weekly. Damn!"
 * “So I'm thinking, either we're immune from all this or we're getting real lucky.
 * [ When he sees the Recycling factory ]"We get out of this alive, I can't wait to have to recycle shit again."
 * [ When coming across a sign that says For Lease ] Francis: "For Lease. Anybody got a pen? I wanna write this number down".
 * [ Alternate line ] Francis: "For Lease".
 * Louis: "I'd be damned, Francis! When'd you learn to read?"

The Turnpike

 * “Let's get up that ladder!"
 * [ In car-clogged tunnel ] "Man, I don't like this one damn bit."
 * [ Barricade blocking the path ] "The tunnel's blocked!"

The Drains

 * "This must be the sewer drainage pipes"
 * Francis: "How the hell do you know that?"
 * Louis: "Interesting true story: In 1975, the local township d-"
 * Francis: "You know what? I just realizedI don't care. Lead on."


 * "We have to lower that platform!"
 * "That'll seal the lock."

The Church

 * [ At train yard exit ] "We can cross up here."
 * [ On road ] "Almost to Riverside."
 * “Church still got its lights on."
 * [ During "Church Guy" Scene ] "Mister, if one of us gets killed out here, I'm gonna shoot my way in there and beat you to death with my gun!"
 * "Sir, PLEASE! We're not infected!"

The Town

 * "If you ignore the crazy guy and the zombies, nice town."
 * "If we get to the river, we can find a boat."
 * "Goddamn it, there's gotta be some place that held out."

Boathouse Finale

 * [ After exiting first house ] "Careful, this is wide open."

Dead Air

 * [ Noticing the ruined city in The Greenhouse ] "Man, this will take forever to rebuild."
 * [ Activating The Crane Crescendo Event ] "Stay positive, guys! I've got a good feeling about this!"
 * [ Leaving Safe house in The Terminal ] "They really trashed this place."
 * [ When plane crashes on the runway ] "Holy shit!"

Blood Harvest

 * [ Reaching the trailer after a small bridge'  ] Francis': "Nice place."
 * Louis: "Bet your country-ass does like this trailer."
 * Bill: "This side passage better lead somewhere!" / Francis: "This better go through."
 * Louis: "Stay positive, guys! I've got a good feeling about this!"
 * [ Talking to the soldier via radio ] "We're good to go, sir."

Intro

 * "Military jail, a train ride, and now... back to walking?"
 * "Hey, Bill! Look, there's a boat! Hell, there's boats everywhere."
 * "I think she's mad at Bill." (Referring to Zoey)
 * "No shit, Sherlock. I'm pissed too!"
 * "We GOTTA be getting close to the Gulf. I can almost smell the salt water."
 * "I got a good feeling about this island."
 * "Zoey, come on. We have to work together."
 * "Francis am I alone in hating boats?"

The Docks
[ Approaching traincar with Tank inside ]
 * "Man, a tank in a train."
 * "Only way is through this car."

[ Opening train door with Tank inside ]
 * "You all sure no one else doesn't want to open this door?"
 * "I'll open this, but I'm not going to be happy."
 * "Get ready, I don't have a good feeling about this."
 * "Stay positive guys, we can handle this."
 * "Man, why am I always opening these things?"

[ Inside Tank's traincar ]
 * "Hey Francis what do they make at the tank factory?"
 * "Tanks on a train."
 * "Ewww! This is some gross ass shit."

The Barge
[ Safe Room ]
 * [ Translating the Japanese graffiti ] "Let me see...uh...Taki...I love you...Goodbye."
 * [ In response to Francis asking how he did that ] "I interned in Tokyo."
 * [ In response to Francis asking how to say "Bill's an idiot" ] “Bill-san, baka desu."
 * [ In response to Francis complimenting him ] “Francis, baka desho."
 * "We're gonna find that sail boat right around the corner. You just watch."
 * "Thinking positive got me where I am, Francis."
 * "Even if it does go back to normal, they're not lettin' us back in. I think this island's the only chance we got."
 * [ in joking response to Francis's insinuations that Louis could be a serial killer ] "I can't wait to wear your skin as a pretty dress, Francis"

[ Climbing the gravel hill ]
 * "I can barely make it up here!"
 * "Pile of crap here."
 * "Gravel here!"
 * "This is like running in place."
 * "Lookout! Crows!"
 * "Ahhh... dammit... the crows are bringin' the zombies!"

Port Finale
[ Safe Room ]
 * "Never thought I'd be happy to be heading to a deserted island."
 * "You know what I miss? Checking email. Seeing what's new."
 * "One thing I'm not gonna miss about civilization? I.T. I will never have to tell another human being to reboot their damn computer."
 * "But you know, as long as I have a Molotov I can make a firewall!"
 * "Get it Francis? A firewall?"
 * "Hey, Zoey. We're actually headed to an island. Top ten desert island movies. Go."
 * "No more internet, no more Xbox, no more nothing..."
 * "So... once we're on a boat... can zombies swim?"
 * "Bill, when we get to the keys, you got an island in mind?"
 * "Punk ass island bitch better watch yourself once Louis and Francis on the case."

[ Bridge available ]
 * "We did it! To the bridge!"
 * "Get to the bridge!"

[ Bridge stopped ]
 * "Oh shit! The bridge stopped!"
 * "The bridge stopped!"

[ When sacrificing himself ]
 * "Stay there, don't worry about me none!"
 * "I'll handle this! Cover me!"
 * "Good luck you guys! I got this."
 * "I'm gonna miss you guys!"
 * "Don't worry, I'll be fine! Stay there!"
 * "I swear to god I'm coming back!"
 * "Stay there! I'll be back in two minutes!"
 * "I love you guys!"
 * "If I go down, don't come after me!"
 * "Hey guys? Remember when I said don't come after me? I was kidding, can someone come get me? HELP!!!!"

[ Francis sacrifices himself ]
 * "Thanks Francis!"
 * "I'm gonna... I'm gonna miss that guy."
 * "FRANCIS!"

[ Zoey sacrifices herself ]
 * "Oh my god! Zoey!"
 * "Zoey! You saved us!"
 * "Ah Damnit, Zoey's dead!"
 * "Not Zoey!"

[ Bill sacrifices himself ]
 * "Bill! Bill! You saved us!"
 * "No! We're gonna leave him behind!"
 * "Bill! Goddamnit, I'm going to miss you!"
 * "Bill! Bill! You can't be dead! You can't be."
 * "BILLLLLLLL!"

The Passing
Intro
 * “You're right, Francis. He's not friendly. I think Bill would have shot him by now."

The Port

 * "I'm gonna miss them. It was nice to see some normal people again."
 * Zoey: Don't worry, they won't be the last.


 * [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I'm gonna miss those guys."
 * [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I'm gonna miss them. It was nice to see normal people again...except that Nick guy."
 * [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I think we're gonna see more of that guy."
 * Zoey: "Where? At the Mall?"


 * "Bye Coach! Keep it positive!"
 * I know you're gonna make it to New Orleans, Ellis! Go, Ellis, go!"
 * "I got a good feeling about them...I think they're gonna be ok!"
 * "Bye Coach! Bye Ro! Bye Ellis! Bye...what's your name."
 * "Man, I feel like I'm Gordon Freeman!"
 * "I heard there's a military base just south of here."
 * "Zombies are driving trucks?"
 * [ After killing a Tank, said two different ways ] "That...is for Bill!"

Friendly Fire

 * [ When shot ] "Do I look like one of them?"
 * "Hey man, that hurt!"
 * "Ow, man! Ow! Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Watch where you're shooting!"
 * "Oh, what the hell? Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Ah! Will you knock it off?"
 * "Whoa, whoa! Hey! Don't shoot, don't shoot me!"
 * "OOOW!! Mother—"
 * "Look at my face! Do I look like them?"
 * "Ow, would you knock it off?!"
 * "Hey man, that's not cool."
 * "Man, what the hell? Quit shooting me!"
 * "You know I'd appreciate it if you'd STOP SHOOTING ME!"
 * "I will shoot you back next time."
 * "Whoa, whoa! Don't shoot it's me!"
 * [ When shot by Zoey ] "You gotta stop that shit, Zoey!"
 * "Zoey!"
 * [ When shot by Bill ]
 * "Old man, stop shooting me!"
 * "Whoah whoah whoah! Jesus, Bill, what are you doing?!"
 * "William, come on man."
 * "Watch it, Bill!"
 * "Bill!" (3 versions)
 * [ If shot again ] "I cannot believe you shot me again!"
 * [ When shot by Francis ]
 * "Francis, that's my ASS you're shooting!"
 * "FRANCIS! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
 * "Go on! Do it one more time, fat man!"
 * "Francis!" (2 versions)

No Mercy

 * [ Intro ] "I used to take the subway to Mercy Hospital. Grab the red line, a transfer, and two stops. When this gets back to normal, I'm never gonna complain about that transfer again."
 * "Can't this thing move any faster?"
 * "Man, you CANNOT give up."
 * "Should be around here."
 * "Man, why'd you shoot the car?!"
 * "Don't shoot the car!"
 * "Man, I pressed the button!"
 * "I'll call the elevator."
 * "Get ready, I called the elevator."
 * "Get ready, I pressed the elevator.

Death Toll

 * [ Intro ] "Me and my family used to go camping down by the lake. That's where we were heading...only, it wasn't Momma's cookin' waiting for us at the end of this trip."
 * "But we heard gunshots less than an hour ago! There's GOTTA be someone left!"
 * "Is he paddling the boat in with his damn hands?"
 * "Gunfire means people. We gotta hurry!"
 * "We have to get across the bridge!"
 * "Wow! That was cool... Oh wait, how do we get across?"
 * "Now that's a damn fireball!"
 * "We have to find another way."
 * "Hit the button."
 * "Riverside! The military's dug in there! Shipping out refugees."
 * "Riverside! At least we're going the right way."
 * "Hey, Hartford Mining! This should take us to Riverside!"
 * "They shoulda kept movin'..."
 * "We have to lower that platform!"
 * "I don't think getting to Riverside helped."
 * "This shit seemed cooler in movies."
 * "Graveyards used to spook me a little."
 * "There I was wishin' I was in Riverside."
 * "Well, looks like we ain't gonna find any help in Riverside."
 * "I could see coming back here once this is over."
 * "Does anybody know what the hell he's talking about?"
 * "I'm getting a seriously bad vibe off this guy."
 * "Anyone else sick of arguing with the lunatic?"
 * "I think I'd rather take my chances with this guy than die on the shore."
 * "Dunno if I trust him. Guess we ain't got much of a choice, though."
 * "Boat man, get your fat ass over here."

Dead Air

 * [ Intro ] "We were gonna take the roof tops to the airport. It was supposed to be about a mile to the terminal. Longest damn mile of my life."
 * "Terry's dead. How can we help?"
 * "We ain't Terry, man. You need refuelin', right?"
 * "I'm a little scared, never been in a plane before."
 * "Hey! If we refuel you, can you fly us out of here?"
 * "You're a pilot? Can you fly us out?"
 * "I see it. Give us a second to get ready."
 * "I see the button. Give us a minute to get ready."

Blood Harvest

 * [ Intro ] "We started out on a hill top. Far as I was concerned, that's where we should've stayed. Instead, we headed to a farm house on the bad side of the tracks. Nowadays, though, I guess it's all on the bad side of the tracks."
 * "Yes! My God, yes! You didn't get me, did you? No you did not! Louis beat all your asses!"
 * "I have no idea how this is going to work."
 * "Never thought I'd say it, but I miss the city."
 * "We. Are. SAVED!
 * "We got four immune here!"
 * "I am alive! You hear that? I am breathing and it feels good!"

Miscellaneous

 * "You do those tattoos yourself, Francis? It'd explain all the misspellings."
 * "When this is over with? I'm buyin' all three of you mansions."
 * "Bill, would you please say one positive thing before I shoot you?"
 * "You were born a crusty old bastard, weren't you, Bill?"
 * "Can zombies swim?"
 * "I had a nice house before this. A 401k... Dammit! I had a really nice 401k!"
 * "Man, I do wish I'd bought stock in ammo manufacturers now."
 * "Look at the bright side: overpopulation? Bad economy? All fixed now."
 * "When things go back to normal, Zoey, Bill - I'm giving you both jobs. Francis, I'll help you sign your fat ass back up on welfare."
 * "Oh no, I'm straight."
 * "Francis, you gotta lighten up, buddy."
 * "Stay frosty."
 * "Francis, don't hate me for being beautiful."
 * "Cocked and locked. Let's show these things how we cure infection."
 * "Think of it like this, Bill: How could it get any worse?"
 * "Yeah, yeah, there you go!"
 * "ZOMBIES. Say it, Francis."
 * "How many damn times are you gonna shoot me?"
 * "Fat man, what the HELL is wrong with you?"
 * "Zoey, you know you're shooting me, right?"
 * "Ow! I ain't damn bulletproof."
 * "Man, I hope I never get on your bad side."
 * "There's something over there."
 * "There is definitely something over there."
 * "Kilt your bitch ass. Bitch."
 * "Sit yer steroid ass down, bitch."
 * "Yeah, yeah, Louis just shot yer bitch ass."
 * "How you like that? Funky-ass bitch."
 * "Punk-ass bitch."
 * "Oh it's BITCH apocalypse now, bitch."
 * "When all this is over, you think they'll call us heroes? We are savin' humanity, right? I mean, a very small, four-person chunk of it, but still."
 * "Yeah, I won. Yeah, yeah."
 * "Hoody-ass bitch."
 * "Funky-smellin' bitch."
 * "Set yer bitch ass on fire!"
 * "I don't know, this shit look real jerry-rigged."
 * "Are you out of your damn mind!"
 * "ARE YOU INSANE?"
 * "What the hell was that?"
 * "Did you hear that?"
 * "Are you seeing this?"
 * "Oh come the hell on."
 * "Zombies might have done us a favor, really. Think about it. We get to start over now."
 * "My last life? District IT manager at Fischer Platt. Not good practice for zombie killing, you know?"
 * "Folks I was with before you three, wouldn't keep movin'. Figured they could wait it out. They couldn't."
 * "I think I just discovered a cure for infection. Lead."
 * "Infected or not - they don't like bullets."
 * "Smile when it hurts the most. That's my philosophy."
 * "Winning isn't everything. Wantin' to win is."
 * "We'll beat 'em 'cause we're better than them. Period."
 * "Humanity ain't beat, it's just takin' a breather."
 * "We'll be laughin' about it when we get to the other side."
 * "Even I can't make lemonade out of this shit."
 * "I guess I'm just a glass-half-full guy."
 * "Ahhh, probably for the best."
 * "Alright, that makes us even."