User:Five Dog

Welcome
This is Five Dog, kiddies! Coming to you from my safe room in the middle of this post-apocalyptic zombie nightmare! Remember kids, when the zombies come, there ain't no sense in letting them get close! Run, hide, or fight if you got the balls and the guns, but for Dog's sake don't go waving the white flag. They'll just eat it. -- Five Dog The Mortal.

I am the current user of this profile. I, am Five Dog. THE Five Dog. The comment above is from one of my disciples, found on the Fallout Wiki. He is a mortal, whereas I am immortal. I am the light of hope. I am the adrenaline in your veins, I am the bullets in your gun, I am the island of salvation in the sea of despair. I AM GOD. Only I can guide you through Hell and back. I can save you from death and steal you from infection. I am your leader. And you, are my instrument. Only Five Dog can survive.

For anyone interested, my mortal companion: Five Dog is active on the Fallout Wiki.

The Five Dog Factor
The Me Factor. More debated than the theory of evolution, more honoured than the Pythagorean Theorem and more referenced than Murphy's Law; The Five Dog Factor plays a part in everyday life. Five Dog is always watching, always waiting. He is the pinnacle of evolution and existence. When in a tight situation, apply the Five Dog Factor. Ask yourself: If you do wish for Five Dog to use His divine almighty powers to help you - a weak and vulnerable mortal - you must say the following to please Him and maybe he'll pity you: All of the above have the potential to please Him. You may be spared from death, but do not expect it. For the noble and brave; Five Dog defends, for the wicked and cruel; Five Dog abandons.
 * Is Five Dog with me?
 * Is Five Dog against me?
 * Is Five Dog feeling merciful?
 * Will Five Dog save me or my foe?
 * How can I please Five Dog?
 * Alone in the dark, I tremble. Five Dog is my light.
 * God is dead. Five Dog has replaced him.
 * I cannot kill my foes. Five Dog kills them as I attack.
 * Violence is not the answer. Five Dog is.
 * I do not decide. My choice is Five Dog's.
 * Alone in a battle, I am weak. Five Dog is my defence.

About Your Five Dog
There are a few things all should know about Five Dog.
 * I am on the Xbox360.
 * The Director is my minion.
 * I enjoy playing most games.
 * I also enjoy basketball, learning interesting and otherwise random facts and writing.
 * I do indeed enjoy writing. So much so, that I will have my own piece of work up here on my page eventually. However, it is long and many - knowing the typical of the internet - will find it tedious, but I enjoy making it and if you enjoy reading it that is simply a bonus. I already have the story worked out but I am open to reasonable suggestions. Please note: Five Dog defines "reasonable" on a daily basis.
 * Finally, I am looking for competent or at least a competent player to go through Expert with. Every time I play with random players, I find them to be either horrible players or annoying to the point that I can't stand. If anyone is interested, do let me know. Five Dog does not like to be kept waiting.

Left 2 Die: A Left 4 Dead Fan-Fiction
A Work In Progress