User:Five Dog

G reetings, child. You've found Him. You've found Five Dog.

E very mortal needs some help. He knows this. Lay down your hostilities and present a good will, no harm shall come to you. He can help you if you need it. All you have to do is ask.

T his page is but a vessel. He believes not in a complicated user page. He believes complexity breeds confusion and boredom. He wishes not to inflict these emotions upon mortals. He will keep it simple for the human readers.

O vercoming mortal pride, you are here to wish for Five Dog to use His divine, almighty powers to help you? A weak and vulnerable mortal? You may be spared from death, but do not expect it. For the noble and brave, Five Dog defends; for the wicked and cruel, Five Dog abandons.

U nder His guidance you will edit well. Perhaps He is active. Perhaps He is not. It is of little importance, inactivity cannot quell His omnipotence. He has desires to help all that seek it.

T he wikis exist because He allows it. And they will end, when He demands it.

Infoboxes:
 * He feels obliged to present some mortal information boxes.





Interesting Items:
 * He used to have a story. He has not finished it.
 * He wishes you to view this page.
 * He wishes to help PC users.

Feel like joining the list of followers? All you have to do is ask, and hope that you are viewed as a kind soul.

'''There are fifteen Five Dog Commandments in total. Live them, read them, learn them, love them. Enforce them.'''

I.
 * Thou shalt worship Five Dog, and not that idiot; Three Dog.

II.
 * Thou shalt never set fire to a lobster. To do so, is to evoke the wrath of Five Dog.

III.
 * Thou shalt thank thy stars that thou went to Go-Compare

IV.
 * Thou shalt eat no food on any day ending in "y".

V.
 * Thou shalt find everything to be shiny and as such will declare it so by yelling "Shiny!" in as odd a voice as thou can muster.

VI.
 * Upon running out of things to say, thou shalt ask "How was that date last night?" in a mocking tone, regardless of who thou chooses to converse with.

VII.
 * Thou shalt grab everythin' thou can.

VIII.
 * Thou shalt adore Louis. Failure to do so, will evoke the wrath of Five Dog.

IX.
 * Thou shalt adore Hunters. Failure to do so, will evoke the wrath of Jo.

X.
 * Thy cake is a lie, do not consume it.

XI.
 * Thou shalt not read this Commandment

XII.
 * Thou shalt say "thou shalt" every day.

XIII.
 * Thou shalt appreciate the Standard Grammar Nazi. However, thou shalt fearfully respect the Awesome Grammar Nazi.

XIV.
 * Thou shalt not notice that thy God is running out of Commandments.

XV.
 * Thou shalt go back and read the Commandments again.