Coach/Quotes

A list of Coach's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.


 * [When the chopper leaves without them] "HEYYY! COME BACK! COME-ahh, he ain't comin' back."
 * [ When shot at ] "Hey! Stop shooting me, all right!?"
 * "Will you cut the shit out!"
 * "Excuse me? EXCUSE ME!?!"
 * "Lets not start shooting each other now, okay?"
 * "Shoot me again and you'll be meeting your maker, right soon!"
 * "Y'all gotta stop shootin' me."
 * "There gonna be some Biblical shit if you do that again."
 * "That isn't All Star Shooting!"
 * "Knock that shit out."
 * "Look, are you out your mind shooting at me?"
 * "You gotta learn how to shoot!"
 * "You shooting me? That's some crazy shit!"
 * "Stay close, we're a party of two."
 * [Upon spotting a Tank] "I'm gonna beat that Tank's ass!"
 * "Ohhh shit! Tank!"
 * [ When constricted ] "(raspy) Get this mother fu-(coughs) off me!"
 * [ When low on health ] "Crazy sons' bitches messin' me up!"
 * "*various splatting sounds*"
 * [ When car alarm starts ] "Game on, ladies..."
 * [ When he picks some incendiary ammo ] "Boo-yeah!"
 * [ When he is going to throw a molotov or a pipe bomb ] "Fire in the hoooole!"
 * "Grenaade!"
 * [ Reading the sign at the start of The Parish ] "Infected detected, no shit."
 * [ Reading the sign at the start of The Swamp ] "No CEDA, No Military, Stay Out..."

"Yeah! I'm walk'n in that valley 'n I'll kick some ass!"
 * [ When ferry arrives at the Swamp Fever ] "Put it all out there."
 * [ When the fishing boat arrives in the plantation] "*Repeatedly blows sports whistle*"
 * [ When being revived ] "They oughta name a school after me for this shit."
 * "All right, thanks."
 * [Being revived with the Defibrillator] "Aw Hell, I'm back here."
 * "Please tell me you didn't do mouth to mouth..."
 * "Glad I didn't go toward the light."
 * [When picking up pills] "I know one thing: I'm grabbin' pills!"
 * "Got the pills!"
 * [When a Spitter is about to spit] "Burning shit comin'!"
 * [When a Spitter is around] "That fat spittin' bitch is around."
 * "I hear that fat woman."
 * [When a Smoker is around] "Sounds like one of them Smoker bitches."
 * [When a Hunter is around] "Punk-ass Hunter around."
 * [When a Witch is around] "Ya'll hear, get ready to toss that bitch"
 * "Quiet everybody, I hear a Bitch."
 * "That cryin' girls around here."
 * [When pummeled by a Charger] "Charger! SHOOT!"
 * "Don't stand there, kill this thing!
 * "Charger's pounding me into the ground!"
 * "This things beating my ass!"
 * "Shoot the Charger!"
 * "This Charger's pounding me!"
 * "Shoot this damn Charger!"
 * "God-damn, one of ya'll gotta shoot this thing!"
 * [At the beginning of a Scavenge map] "Haul ass and get gas!!"
 * "Let's GO! Find the gas cans!"
 * [When reviving someone] "Keep it up. C'mon, keep it up, keep it up. You gonna make it."
 * [ When in critical need of healing ] "Come on... Put it together, man... You gonna make it through this shit..."
 * "It hurts...but it ain't nothing."
 * [Reading CEDA's instructons in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] *with irony* "Report unusual behavior. Barricade your homes. Avoid all contact with infected individuals. Wait for official instructions. Hah! Wait my ass!"
 * Ellis: Kill all sons'a'bitches. That's my official instructions!

Nick: "Tell me about it..." Nick: "I'm getting sick of looking at this guy's face"
 * [ Killing an infected in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "This used to be a nice neighborhood!"
 * [ Stopping for a break at the stairs in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Who the Hell...puts an evac station...up thirty flights of goddamn stairs?"
 * Nick: "Well, Coach... Maybe the helicopter...maybe it's made of chocolate!"
 * [ Looking at the fleeing helicopters in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Thought they're supposed to be savin' our asses!"
 * [ When on black and white ] "Come on man. You can make it through this shit!"
 * [ When heading back into sugar cane field ] "Retrace our steps! Head through the field!"
 * [ When he sees a Riot Infected ] "That zombie's got armor! I want armor!"
 * [ When giving pain pills ] "You make sure you use this now."
 * [ While incapacitated ] "Get your asses over here and help me!"
 * [ When a Jockey is riding him ] "Ellis? Ellis, is that you? What the hell?!"
 * [ When Ellis kills a Special Infected ] "Nice shot, Young un'.
 * [ When Rochelle kills a Special Infected ]You on it!"
 * [ When someone else being rode by a Jockey ] "It ain't right for a man to be ridden like that."
 * [ When hearing a Jockey ] "One of those leapin'-on-your-back bitches is around."
 * "I hear one of those Jockeys. If I see it, I'm gonna shoot the shit out of it!"
 * [ Reviving someone on their last down ] "Man, you look like one of those dudes in a drivin' school film. This may be it for you."
 * [ Upon reaching the beginning of The Lift Bridge(?) ] "Oh yeah...our goal is right next to the bridge! ON THE OTHER MOTHER EFFIN' SIDE OF THE WATER!!"
 * [ Randomly said when being controlled by a bot and Nick says "Let's go! Let's go! ] "F'sho! F'sho!" *chuckle*
 * [ While Walking through the sewers in the Parish ] "Man Nick, You picked a bad day to wear your white suit."
 * If a zombie comes running at me with a sample tray, I won't shoot it.
 * Is there a Burger Tank in this place? I'ma be a one-man cheeseburger apocalypse.
 * [Upon seeing the height requirement at the carousel]You must be this tall to ride. At least there won't be Jockies in there.
 * Nick: Nope. Just lots and lots of Tanks
 * You must be this tall to ride. Sorry Ellis.
 * [ At the beginning of the Atrium Finale ] "Oh, hey! Jimmy Gibbs!

Coach: "Well trust me - in these parts, he's as famous as....Elvis. Or the President."

Nick: "Really. Cuz' he looks like an asshole."

Coach: "Get yo' ass movin', Nick."


 * [ Upon passing a candyfloss store in dark carnival. ] "Cotton Candy, the wise Pharoh of food, sittin' a top a giant pyramid of food, judging all the lesser foods."
 * [ In the Tunnel of Love] "I don't remember the Tunnel of Love bein' this LONG. I musta had something else on my mind."
 * [When healing another Survivor.] "Hold still. Imma heal your ass!"
 * [Upon contacting the military via the radio on The Bridge] Military: "Bridge, are you immune?"
 * Coach: "We are NOT infected".
 * Military: "Negative, are you IMMUNE? Have you encountered the Infected?"
 * Coach: "Encountered? Boy, I am covered in zombie blood and puke and eyeballs and twenty other parts I don't even recognize. We are immune as SHIT!"
 * " All right now, let's blow some shit up."