Nick/Quotes

A list of Nick's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

Intro

 * [ Responding to Coach's complaints about climbing stairs in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Come on, Coach. Maybe the helicopter...maybe it's made of chocolate."
 * [ Seeing how the helicopters flee the area in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Looks like there's been a change of plans..."

General

 * "We got a safe house!"
 * [ Waiting for the other Survivors to get into the safe room ] "You do NOT want to make me come out there for ya!"
 * [ When the survivors finish a level ] "I'm starting to like you guys!"
 * "You guy's ain't so damn bad!"
 * "Take that, you mealy-mouthed bastards!"
 * "And that is how you do it!"
 * [ When two survivors or fewer survive a level, or if all survivors are low on health at the end ] "That was too close..."
 * [ At the beginning of a chapter ] "I'm in the middle of nowhere..."
 * "What the hell was this guy doing?"
 * "Hey Ellis, you like taters?"
 * "You sure we shouldn't just panic? I mean, I think panic was invented for just this sort of situation."
 * "Whatever you say, Farmer Joe."
 * "We're the four riders of the goddamn apocalypse!"

Negative responses

 * "This is all going to hell!"
 * "Candyasses!"
 * "TITS!"

Health related

 * [When in low health] "I "Really screwed the pooch back there."
 * [ When he grabs pills ] "Can always use these."
 * "Ah, a little pick me up."
 * [ When incapacitated] "I can't do this on my own, need some help!"
 * [ When healing another Survivor ] "Now don't waste this by getting pounced on or something."
 * "Let Doctor Nick fix ya up."
 * Don't worry, i've done this before.
 * "I should probably save this for me, but...what the hell."
 * [ When healing Rochelle or Ellis] "Don't tell the others...I'm only doing this for you." (in a low voice)
 * [ When low on life ] "Don't this beat all? I'm about to die..."
 * "God dammit god dammit god... dammit!"
 * "What was I thinking coming down here?"
 * "I'm not going to make it much longer, my friends."
 * "If I go, you guys are gonna miss me!"
 * "I have seriously felt better!"
 * "Pull yourself together, man. You're (grunts in pain) fallin' apart!"
 * "This is not - (grunts in pain) - how it's gonna end."
 * "I am sick...and tired...of being sick and tired."
 * [ From the Zombie Survival Guide trailer/When low on health ] "I have not... come this far... to die now!"
 * "I am not going to die in this city"
 * [ When reviving another player ] "Get up, get up, get up!"
 * "Aw shit, get up, get up!"
 * "Don't worry, I'll get your ass out of this mess."
 * [ When Rochelle revives him ] "Thanks, Ro."
 * [ When reviving another survivor  ] "We...I need you a little longer."
 * [ After healing ] "Ah. Better."
 * [ Reviving someone on their second down ] "You are messed up - if you don't get yourself healed up, that's it."
 * "You seriously cannot go down again, 'kay? 'Cause if you do, you're not going to make it."
 * "You're starting to worry me."
 * "I'm gonna get you up, but you go down again, that's it."
 * "We can't afford to lose you...yet."
 * [ When a Survivor dies ] "Ahhh, SHIT!"
 * [ When Rochelle dies ] "There goes repopulating the Earth."
 * "Rochelle, aw shit."
 * "Good night, Rochelle."
 * "I can think of two other people I would have rather seen go first."
 * [ When Coach dies ] "Aww....Coach..."
 * "Later, Coach."
 * "Shit, Coach...I'll miss ya."
 * "Goddamn it, Coach, what'd you leave me with?"
 * You were a hell of a man, Coach.
 * [ When Ellis dies ] "Ellis...aww...Ellis..."
 * "Ellis, I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did."
 * "Y'know all those things I said about you, Ellis? I was joking..."
 * [ When low on health in Hard Rain ] "Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat."
 * "What the hell were we thinking stopping here?"
 * "Easy there, fireball. Let me get you up."
 * "Guys, I seem to have slipped!"
 * "Try again, little man."
 * "Is this some kind of sick joke?"
 * "I call foul."
 * "What an ass-clown."
 * [ Reviving Everyone ]
 * "What's your name, here you go."
 * [ Inside the Rescue Closet ] "You know I'm going to be a big help. Just get me out of here!"
 * "I'm no use to anyone in here, get me out of here!"

Weapon related

 * [ Axe ]
 * "A freaking axe!"

"A skillet!" "This'll work."
 * [ Frying Pan ]
 * "Gonna bonk some heads with this!"


 * [ Molotov ]
 * "Grabbing a Molotov."

"I can't believe I just said that." "Puke in the hole!" "Fight amongst yourselves!"
 * [ Bile Bomb ]
 * "That can't be a bottle of puke, is it?"

"Is that a bottle of puke?"

"Explosive rounds here!"
 * [ Chainsaw ]
 * "SUCK ON THIS!"
 * "DIE, DIE!"
 * "YEAH! DIE!"
 * [ Explosive Ammunition ]
 * "Grabbin' some frag rounds!"

"Let's start some fires, people!"
 * [ Incendiary Ammunition ]
 * "Grabbin' fire bullets!"

"Hell yeah, Grenade launcher!"
 * [ Grenade Launcher ]
 * "Time to make some zombie soup."


 * [ Crowbar ]
 * "I cannot WAIT to find a crate."


 * [When throwing pipe bomb] "Pipe bomb out!"
 * "Chase this you zombie bastards!"
 * [ Upon picking up a Nightstick or Baseball Bat ] "I'm gonna whack the shit outta something with this."
 * [ Upon finding weapons ] "Everybody grab a weapon!"
 * "Weapons over here."
 * [ Finding a Magnum or picking up a cricket bat ] "Niiiiiiice!"
 * [ Upon picking up Baseball Bat ] "This brings back some good memories."

Infected related
"God DAMN you, Jimmy Gibbs, Jr!" "Did that zombie just drop something?" "That zombie dropped something!"
 * [Jimmy Gibbs Jr.]
 * [ Fallen Survivor (Unused) ]
 * "Is that a survivor?"

"Kill the clown, he's attracting more zombies!" "Kill the clown!" "That squeaking is driving the zombies crazy!" "Shoot the clown!"
 * [ Clown ]
 * "Kill every clown you see!"

"Guess those suits don't stop bites." "Are those guys fireproof?"
 * [ CEDA ]
 * "Hazmat guys!"

"Shoot the armored zombies in the back!"
 * [ Riot Infected ]
 * "Those zombies are wearing armor?"

"Pay attention, Hunter's around."
 * [ The Hunter ]
 * "Scrawny little bitch I'm gonna kill."

"Overalls!" "One Arm!" "WE GOT A CHARGER!" "Shoot the big guy pounding me into the ground!" "Can someone shoot this goddamn thing?!?" "This thing is beating my ass!" "Kill this goddamn thing!" "Shoot him! Shoot him!" "Charger's got me!" "Keep your eyes peeled, I hear a Charger."
 * [ The Charger ]
 * "Hillbilly!"

"Boomer around. Don't shoot him if he's near me! OKAY?" "Goiter man!" "Aunt Bee." "Fat guy!" "Fatty!" "God damn it! I am covered in vomit again." "I'm blind." "Ahhh, this is some nasty shit."
 * [ The Boomer ]
 * "You hear that Boomer? Don't let him spew on you."

"Smoker's GOT ME!!!" "Freaking tongue!?" "What the? Ahh, gross shit." "TONGUE!" "The smoking thing!"
 * [ The Smoker ]
 * "Shoot the tongue! Shoot the tongue!"

"Neck!" "Hot stuff coming!" "We got goo coming!" "Fire spit coming!" "There's a Spitter around." "I got hit by the burning goo shit." "Ugh, what in the hell did that thing just do?" "What is this shit on me?"
 * [ The Spitter ]
 * "Green thing!"

"We are screwed." "Maybe if we don't move it won't see us." "Okay, that's reason to panic." "What in the hell sign of the apocalypse is that?" "Freaking Tank is killing me!" "Mother of Mercy! This thing is killing me!" "Do you see this big giant thing on me?!" "HOLY SHIT! BIG FREAKING ZOMBIE!" "We have a problem!" "WE GOT A TANK!"
 * [ The Tank ]
 * "I hope that's not bullet proof."
 * "You Shoot the Tank!"

"Little freak!"
 * [ The Jockey ]
 * "Little guy!"

"Kill this Jockey on me!"


 * [ After lighting several Infected on fire ] "Smells like dinner!"
 * [ When he hears a Hunter ] "You hear that Hunter?"
 * "Pay attention, there's a Hunter around."
 * "Scrawny Little Bitch I'm gonna Kill!"
 * [ When pummeled by Charger ] "(scared) Aah, Charger's got me!"
 * "Kill this beast, guys!"
 * "Shoot that Charger!"
 * "Shoot the big guy pounding me into the ground!"
 * [ When the horde is coming ] "This is why we've got guns!"
 * "God damn, its gettin' good!"
 * [ When he sees a Charger ] "Look out now! Charger!"
 * [ When Charger grabs Ellis ] "Charger... Ellis!"
 * [ Upon seeing a Tank ] "Shoot the Tank!"
 * "Everyone, shoot the Tank!"
 * "YOU! Shoot the Tank!"
 * "Tank inbound!"
 * "Get ready, we got a Tank!"
 * "Hold steady! Tank!"
 * [ When he is covered by Boomer's bile ] "Aw, Goddammit!"
 * "Urgh! This is nasty shit!"
 * "Uh, dammit. I am covered - In vomit - Again."
 * "I'm blind!"
 * [ When jumped by the Jockey ] "Get this thing off my back!"
 * "Get it off me!"
 * "Kill this Jockey on me!"
 * [ When stepping into the Spitter's acid ] "God dammit, that hurts!"
 * "What is this shit on me?"
 * "I got hit by the burnin' goo shit!"
 * [ Seeing Riot Infected ] "Those zombies are wearin' armor!"
 * [ When he hears a Jockey ] "One of those little Jockey bastards around."
 * [Upon hearing a Witch] "Heh, that sounds like my ex-wife."
 * [When a Jockey is riding a Survivor] "Ten bucks says he takes them to the right."
 * [ Seeing a Tank on Dead Center ] "Guys? We have a problem!"
 * "If we don't move, maybe it won't see us..."
 * "Is someone beating a horse?"
 * "A crying woman. What do you think, she's sad the mall's closed?"
 * "So that's a Charger, huh? I think he worked out that arm plenty. He should move onto back and legs."
 * "So that's a Charger, huh? Heh. You know what they say about zombies with one big arm..."
 * "So that's a Jockey, huh? Cute little guy."
 * "So that's a Spitter, huh? You think she's single?"
 * "So that's a Boomer, huh? You know, it's sad to see an eating disorder get out of control like that."
 * "So that's a Hunter, huh? What's he gonna do-go for a JOG at me?"
 * "So that's a Smoker, huh? Bet he's popular with the lady zombies."
 * "ELLIS! Leave that Witch alone."
 * [ When confronted with a Hazmat Infected ] "Guess those suits don't stop bites."
 * "Let's find another way. This suit's flammable."
 * "Watch out for the... the big fat thing!"

Dead Center
Nick: "I'll agree to the idea, but I'm driving."
 * "I'm Nicholas... Nick."
 * "Name's Nick, but don't bother learning it 'cause I ain't sticking around much longer."
 * [ If Rochelle has the most kills by the time you get to the elevator ] “You did good out there Rochelle.”
 * [ Upon entering the gun store in The Streets ] "Alright! A candy store for adults!"
 * "Good, that's decided. Moving on: I think this building's on fire. Sooo... I'd like to leave it."
 * "Hey! Loud girl. (Rochelle) Hayseed. (Ellis) Tons of fun. (Coach) This building? It's on FIRE. Grab a weapon and let's get the hell out of here."
 * "Okay, we all had a turn yelling at the helicopter. Good. Moving on: I think the building's on fire."
 * "Okay. Helicopters don't come back when you yell at 'em. Valuable lesson, you three tuck that away for later. Now grab a weapon and follow me. This goddamn building's on fire."
 * "HELICOPTER. It is a HELICOPTER. You call that thing a 'whirly-bird' one more time, I'll beat you SO bad, your sister's gonna wish she never gave birth to you."
 * "Disco Pants and Haircuts? Man, lots of space in this mall."
 * "Okay, so the evac station's abandoned, annnnd we're at the center of a zombie-filled building. But on the bright side? We're all probably gonna die."
 * "Technically... you're not supposed to use an elevator in a fire. But that might not apply during a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE."
 * "Get in the tank, you stupid goddamn gas, get in the tank."
 * "Piece of shit gas, GET IN THE CAR!"
 * Get in the Tank! Come on comeoncomeoncomeoncomoncomeon Come On!
 * [ Seeing Tank ] "HOLY SHIT! BIG FREAKING ZOMBIE!"
 * "We have a problem!"
 * "If we don't move, maybe it won't see us."
 * [ When talking to the gun shop owner ] "Buddy, if you can get me out of this alive? I will deep-fry you an entire goddamn cow."
 * [In safe room entering the mall ] "If anyone sees a men's store, let me know; I've got blood on my suit."
 * "No one's alive in here."
 * [After hearing Ellis's idea at the finale] "Well that beats my idea, staying here and dying in the mall."

 Ellis: "Actually, I think the guy who came up with the idea to drive the stock car should get to drive the stock car."

 Nick: "What a fun road trip this will be."

Dark Carnival
*"That got us around the block."
 * [ At the start of the Dark Carnival ] "I hate to be the bearer of bad news guys, but unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we AIN'T driving through this."
 * "I think our options are keep moving down the road towards those lights or die here."
 * "Anyone in the camp die here?"
 * "No? Then let's move out."
 * [ On the Highway ] "These cars go on for MILES!"
 * Coach: "Maybe they left em' when they got rescued."
 * Nick: "That's...one theory."
 * [ Upon noticing the burned bodies in the pool at the motel in 'The Highway ]''' "WOW. These people SUCKED at high diving."
 * [After Coach comments on having gone to Whispering Oaks as a child] "Oh, good. Now we can die there as adults."
 * [ When Ellis claims they'll have to walk through traffic ] "Don't sweat it, Ellis. At least you got us out of that mall."
 * "Goddamn you, Jimmy Gibbs Jr."
 * Ellis: That's not cool Nick. Seriously [Alternate line] "Now that was uncalled for. Serious."
 * [ After going down the hill in the first chapter and Ellis makes a comment about going downhill being "fun" ] "Falling and breaking my neck is not fun Ellis."
 * [ Upon seeing the pool in The Highway ] "They're not kidding when they say no lifeguards on duty."
 * [ While going down the hill in the first chapter ] "Whoa, Shit!!!"
 * [ Beginning of Dark Carnival's Finale ] "I know I'm going to regret this, but turn it up!"
 * [ In the beginning of the tunnel of love ] "Looks like you get your wish Ellis, you get to go on a ride."
 * Ellis: Uh, this isn't exactly a ride Nick. This is where you go to make out with your girlfriend."
 * Ellis: Uh, this isn't exactly a ride Nick. This is where you go to make out with your girlfriend."


 * [While moving through the Tunnel of Love in The Coaster]: "You ould almost call this a cee-ment river, Ellis!"
 * Ellis: "Ha ha, very funny, Nick."

[In the second saferoom in Dark Carnival- possibly a rare line] Why couldn't I have been in Las Vegas when the Infection hit, or even Atlantic city? Instead, I am trapped in some hillbilly tunnel of love!"
 * "Into the swan maintenance room of love!"
 * [Running on the tracks during The Coaster ] "These Infected do NOT respect lines!"
 * "Thank God this doesn't do a loop."
 * "I hate roller coasters."
 * "Make sure to call out if you get pulled."
 * [ Before The Fairgrounds Crescendo event. ] "You gotta be this tall to get in here, Ellis. Sorry, buddy. You'll be missed."
 * Ellis: "Ha ha. Aren't you the comedian."

[ While looking at the Lil' Peanut cutout in Dark Carnival ]"I do not like that little peanut man."
 * "Nice fencing. Looks like a federal carousel penitentiary."
 * Ellis: "Man, how can you not like Li'l Peanut? I love this little guy!"

"It worked! I love you, Coach!" "Bringing back any memories, Coach? You, a steamy cheeseburger, romance in the air?"
 * "Anybody else find this peanut thing a little terrifying?"
 * [A response to Coach's plan] "That is the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with"
 * Did you see the sign out front? Cousins-only day today."
 * "Okay, we'll set off the pyrotechnics, but I'm telling you right now. I AM NOT GOING TO AIR GUITAR."
 * "Gate's open!"
 * "I think I know how to start the finale, hit the button labeled Finale."
 * "When I hit this tape, it's gonna blare some old people's rock music and start the finale. Get ready."
 * "Coach, when I start this finale, you aren't gonna start dancing are you? Ahh, screw it, I'm hitting it."
 * "If you have any taste, cover your ears, I'm starting the finale."
 * "Hit the flash bangs!"
 * "I think the copter pilot wants us to turn it down."
 * "Coach, you're a genius! This worked!"
 * "A fenced-in carousel? Is this where they took child prisoners on day trips?"

"Great, following shiny lights in the sky, we're like freaking cats and a laser pointer."

Swamp Fever
"I still can't believe none of you were going to shoot him." Rochelle: "That's true. If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it would probably be when he stopped flying the chopper and..attacked us." (this quote needs rewording)  Rochelle: So what do you think is going to kill us? Gators, snakes, bugs, or mud people?
 * [ In response to the Survivors' reactions to him killing the pilot ] "Well, he wasn't doing a very good job once he became a zombie, now was he?"
 * "I shot a zombie. He was a zombie, Ellis. He must have gotten bitten before he picked us up."
 * [ In response to Ellis talking about the Blood Farmers ] "Jesus Christ Ellis, like the goddam zombies aren't bad enough."
 * [ When jumping into deep water in Swamp Fever ] Nick: "This swamp is gonna mess up my white suit!"
 * Rochelle: "You mean the one covered in zombie brains?"
 * Nick: "Brains come out, swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that."

Nick: "Alive as in not infected, or alive as is in not zombies?"
 * Nick: The way we're shooting? Each other.
 * [When crossing the river in Plank Country] Rochelle: "So Nick, what do you think the odds are that the swamp people are still alive?"

Rochelle: "Not zombies."

Nick: "100 to 1."

 Rochelle: "Sounds about right."

Hard Rain

 * [While moving through the Witch-infested sugar mill] The last time I saw this many crying women was at my wedding.
 * [At the beginning of the campaign] What are we supposed to signal him with?
 * Ellis: Oh, there's flares in the gun bag.
 * Nick: What gun bag?
 * Ellis: You didn't grab the guns!?
 * Nick: ME!? Who died and made me gun monitor!?
 * Ellis: Pretty much everybody.


 * Alternative conversation
 * Rochelle: Well, this should be easy. All we need is to find some diesel.
 * Nick: Anybody wanna hear a prediction?
 * Everyone: No.
 * Nick: There's not gonna be any gas. Watch.

The Parish

 * [ Response to Ellis' horse comment ] "Ever eaten a horse? It's tasty."
 * [ Before starting The Park's Crescendo Event ] "As soon as we open that door, get ready to run for the tower."
 * Ellis: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait...why we goin' to the tower?"
 * Nick: "We run to the tower, and we turn off the alarm!"
 * Ellis: "Oh! Okay, okay, I get it!"


 * [ When the fighter jets fly by at the beginning of The Parish ] Coach: All right! The military's still here!
 * Nick: You don't evacuate people in fighter jets.

Nick: "You mean that blurry line in the horizon? Let's not get ahead of ourselves."
 * [The beginning of The Parish campaign] Coach: "All right, people, let's get to that bridge!"
 * "Yeah well seeing the bridge and getting to are two different things."
 * [Upon Seeing the Bathrooms in the Park ] "From the looks of this park, I'm glad we didn't arrive early."
 * Nick: "Oh man it, smells awful in here."/ "It smells like..piss."
 * Ellis: "I think it smells nice."


 * "Does this guy's scorecard mean what I think it means?"
 * [ Upon entering the sewers ] "I'm not going in ther--... ah screw it! Let's go."
 * "Oh Christ, not the sewer."
 * "Ugh. What's that SMELL?"
 * "I used to steal these from cops back in high school."
 * "If my friends ever saw me usin' a cop's gun..."
 * [ After passing through the lot with the alarmed cars and climbing up the bridge ] "We made it, I can't believe we actually made it."
 * [ After seeing the bridge being blown up ] "OH COME ON!!!"
 * [ In the Safe Room of the fourth level, during CEDA's bombing ] "Christ those guys are such assholes."
 * "Before we run across this bridge right toward the people who've been dropping bombs on us, anyone wanna talk about a Plan B?"
 * Ellis: "I don't."
 * Nick: "Alright then, let's go."


 * [ Seeing dead un-infected people in The Parish ] "These are people! They were killing people! I told you this was a bad idea."


 * Coach: "How's it feel to be so right, Nick?"
 * Nick: "Not good..."

Friendly Fire

 * [ When shot at ] "Are you really going to shoot a guy in a $3,000 suit? Come on!"
 * "DON'T. SHOOT. ME."
 * "YOU. ARE. SHOOTING. ME."
 * "Well thank you for ventilating my suit."
 * "Why would you think shooting me is a good idea?"
 * "Let's try shooting zombies instead of people, okay?"
 * "Damn!... You suck at shooting."
 * "You shoot me again, and I'll drop ya'."
 * "Shoot me again. Shoot me again, I dare ya'."
 * "Shoot me again, I'm not dead yet!"
 * "Stop shooting me."
 * "Shooting me, doesn't get us, anywhere!
 * "Do that again and I will bury you alive."
 * "Can we not shoot each other, please?"
 * "Can you stop shooting me?"
 * "I don't know who started this shit, 'kay? But let's just stop the friendly fire right now."
 * "Unless you want to be picking your teeth up off the floor, stop shooting me."
 * "WHAT THE-"
 * "OH COME ON!"
 * [ When Ellis attacks him ] "Dumbshit!"
 * Ellis come on!"
 * [ When Coach attacks him ] "Coach, c'mon, man."
 * [ When Rochelle attacks him ] "Sweetheart? Don't shoot me."
 * "Rochelle!"
 * [ In a calm voice ] "Don't shoot each other."
 * [ After someone says Nick shot them ] "If you'd looked out, you wouldn't get hit!"
 * [ When a teammate is shot by someone else ] "Stop shooting each other!"

Scavenge

 * [ Upon the beginning of a Scavenge match ] "Let's get some gas."
 * [ While pouring gas into the generator ] "Come on... Come-onnn..."
 * "Piece of shit gas, GET IN THE CAR!"
 * [ When there's one more gas can remaining to make the player's team win a Scavenge match ] "One more can to go!"
 * [ When winning a scavenge match ] "We're makin' it look easy!"

Uncategorized
''These ones need a place to be. Feel free to put them in their rightful category.''
 * "The boardwalk still smells like popcorn and this back alley still stinks like piss."
 * "What are you, an unfriendly hippie? I thought you all had to be friendly?"
 * "No one else is alive here, okay? There's gotta be some sort of deal we can work out."
 * "Wow, yeah. That's really cool. I'm sure Dusty will be honored."
 * "I bet he's got a working shower in there and he isn't using it."
 * "Always a stinking hippie. I swear to god, it always come back to making a stinking hippie happy."
 * "There better be gas in that tour bus."
 * "There's the tour bus! Get into the garage!"
 * "Just go, just go, he isn't coming with us."
 * "Goodbye, Mr. Hippie!"
 * "Of course it's full of zombies. The whole god damn world is full of zombies. See you in a few minutes."
 * "You know what I like best about your stories, Ellis? The sound they make when they stop."
 * "Because all you THINK about is ribs, Coach."
 * "I trust you. You look like a man who knows his donuts.
 * "Crumbs? Really, Coach? That's how you swear?"
 * "Lead on, MacDuff."
 * "Goiter man!"
 * "No Ellis, I've never seen anything like this
 * "Hm. This'd be really awkward if I gave a shit about your feelings."
 * "Jesus, it was open season on everything out here."