Louis/Quotes and Captions

A list of Louis' Quotes and cut quotes, also known as Captions, in Left 4 Dead.

Intro

 * [ Upon hearing an incoming horde ] "Oh shit, SHIT, SHIIT! THEY'RE COMING!"
 * [ While shooting the Witch ] "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?!"
 * [ While shooting the Witch ] "DO YOU NOT DIE?!"
 * [ Calling out to a passing helicopter ] "Heeeey! We're over here! We're not infected! Down here! Dammit!"
 * [ Asking Bill the attack plan for an incoming Tank ] "Run, or shoot? RUN OR SHOOT?"
 * [ Upon reaching the safety of the roof ] "We made it...I can't believe we made it!"

General

 * "Well, it can only get better, right?"
 * "Stay positive, guys! I've got a good feeling about this!"
 * "Humanity's gonna bounce right back - you watch!"
 * "When things go back to normal, Zoey, Bill, I'm giving you both jobs! Francis, I'mma teach yo ass how to read!"
 * "Oh c'mon, cheer up, we're almost through."
 * "Guys at the office used to laugh at me when I hit the rifle range at lunch. Ain't so damn funny now, is it?!"
 * "How long were you in prison, Francis?"
 * "They comin'! You guys ready?"
 * "I...am bad. Ahhaha, I am bad! Yes I am! Whooo! That's right, let's call ourselves the Unstoppables!"
 * "Oh yeah! Who's yo mama?! Who's yo daddy?!"
 * [ Arrival to the finale ] "I knew we were going to make it!"
 * "[Belch] 'Scuse me."

The following are lines used on the PC "commands" and "responses" lists when (by default) typing Z or X.

"Yes" responses

 * "I'm cool with that."

"No" responses

 * "That's some country-ass bullshit!"

"Hurrah" responses

 * "BOOM-diah!"
 * "WOOOOOO! Baby, alright!"
 * "Hell yeah!"

"Arrgh" responses

 * "Oh! Nooooo!"

"Wait" responses
May I suck your sexual organ

"Look" commands

 * "Safe house up ahead!"

Health related

 * [ If Zoey appears to be in relatively bad shape and has first aid ] "Go on and heal up, girl."
 * [ Zoey's death ] "Goddammit, Zoey, wake up!"
 * " Zoey! My plans! MY PLANS!"
 * " Zoey! Goddammit!"
 * [ Francis's death ] "Francis! No!"
 * "Jesus, Francis, no! Francis!"
 * [ Bill's death ] "Bill! Aw, shit!'
 * "This shit was not in my plans!"
 * "Oh shit, Shit, SHIT!"
 * "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
 * [ After being helped up ] "Yo, thanks, man."
 * "Zoey, any chance I could get some First-Aid?"
 * "Francis, mind spottin' me a Med-kit?"
 * "Bill, could I get some First-Aid?"
 * [ When he's found some pain pills ] "Grab some pills over here!"
 * "Pills here!"
 * "Grabbin' pills."
 * "I'd better grab everything I can."
 * "I ain't dyin' man, death gonna have to pry me off the Earth."
 * "If I go down, go on without me—actually no, wait, save my ass."
 * "Any of you guys cub scouts? Surprisingly ineffective at preparing you for some shit like this!"
 * "I ain't got time to bleed! Oh hell, I am bleeding!"
 * [ When Bill says "Who are you?" if Louis helps him up ] "It's me, Louis! Come on, man."
 * [ On low health ] "Oh man...every damn thing hurts."
 * [ In critical need of healing ] "At this rate...I...I'm not gonna make it..."
 * [ If Francis is incapacitated outside the Safe Room and no one is helping him ] "C'mon, aren't we gonna help him?"
 * [ If Bill is incapacitated outside Safe Room ] "Bill! C'mon guys, lets go help 'im."
 * [ If Zoey is incapacitated outside Safe Room ] "Zoey! Oh, no. What do we do?"
 * [ When reviving a Survivor ] "I'm no doctor, but you're not dead yet. Let's get you back up, okay?"

Weapon related

 * [ Occasionally on submachine gun pickup ] "Oh, MAN! This is just like Counter-Strike!"
 * "Now *this* is a big-ass machine gun!"
 * "Oh HELL yes!"
 * [ Picking up an Assault Rifle ] "This rifle is MINE!"
 * [ Picking up an Auto Shotgun ] "Oh, I'm grabbin' a shotgun!"

Infected related

 * [ When Francis calls the Infected vampires ] "They're zombies, Francis."
 * "They ain't vampires, man! They zombies!"
 * [ When another Survivor kills a Special Infected ] "POW!"
 * [ When pinned down by a Hunter ] "Ahhh! Get off me! Get it off me!"
 * "That Witch ain't gonna hold still much longer!"
 * [ When hanging from a ledge ] AHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP ME, I AM ABOUT TO FALL!

No Mercy

 * [ Upon entering the sewers ] "This is not going to be sanitary..."
 * [ When climbing up the stairs in Mercy Hospital ] "Were they saving people or killing them?"
 * "This doesn't smell like a hospital..."
 * [ In response to Bill's hatred of stairs ] "It's good for you, Bill! Cardio!"
 * "Stairs are a good workout!"

Crash Course

 * [ Before starting the Crescendo Event on The Alleys during Crash Course ] "Someone's gotta fire this big ass machine gun."
 * [ Upon seeing the pilot's corpse ] "Poor guy. He tried to help us."
 * [ At the start of Crash Course ] "I've got a bad feeling about this...Oh, it passed. I think we're gonna be just fine."

Louis: Yeah thats funny Francis, why dont you take your little mustache, and your vest and find yourself a parade?'''  Francis: I dont see whats wrong with vests...''' Francis: "Yeah, hahaha. Is this the one you're gonna die in?"
 * [At the start of Crash Course] Francis: Hey Louie, Why are you still wearing that tie? got a meeting to go to? HAH!
 * [ When starting the generator ] "C'mon, c'mon, you damn generator, start!"
 * [When coming across an alley in Truck Depot Finale ] "Hey Francis, wasn't this the alley you were born in?"
 * "Team building exercise every Tuesday. Man, they ought to try this zombie bullshit."
 * "Well I guess we're walking."
 * Francis: "I hate walking."
 * Louis: "But five minutes ago, you hated flying."
 * Francis: "And it turns out I was right about that."


 * "On the bright, look at all the great scenery we would've missed if we flew over this in a helicopter, huh."
 * [ Upon seeing a magazine rack ] "Wall Street Weekly. There's no more Wall Street Weekly. Damn!"
 * "So I'm thinking, either we're immune from all this or we're getting real lucky.
 * [ When he sees the Recycling factory ] "We get out of this alive, I can't wait to have to recycle shit again."
 * [ When caming across a sign that says For Lease ] Francis: "For Lease. Anybody got a pen? I wanna write this number down", or "For Lease".
 * Louis: "I'd be damned, Francis! When'd you learn to read?"

Death Toll

 * [ During "Church Guy" Scene ] "Mister, if one of us gets killed out here, I'm gonna shoot my way in there and beat you to death with my gun!"
 * "Sir, PLEASE! We're not infected!"
 * "If you ignore the crazy guy and the zombies, nice town."
 * "Interesting true story: In 1975, the local township d-"

Dead Air

 * [ When plane crashes on the runway ] "Holy shit!"
 * [ Leaving Safe House in The Terminal ] "They really trashed this place."

Blood Harvest

 * [ Talking to the soldier via radio ] "We're good to go, sir."

The Passing
Intro
 * "You're right, Francis. He's not friendly. I think Bill would have shot him by now."

The Port

Francis:: Look!....... We lost a good man bringing this Bridge up, & we can't get the generator running 'till Louis is back on his feet!"

Louis: "Francis!, We talked About this!, We are gonna Help them!"

Louis: I'm gonna miss them. It was nice to see some normal people again.

Zoey: Don't worry, they won't be the last. Zoey: "Where? At the mall?
 * [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I'm gonna miss those guys."
 * [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I'm gonna miss them. It was nice to see some other normal people for once...except that Nick guy."
 * [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I think we're gonna see more of that guy."
 * "Bye Coach! Keep it positive!"
 * I know your gonna make it to New Orleans, Ellis! Go, Ellis, go!"
 * "I got a good feeling about them...I think they're gonna be ok!"
 * "Bye Coach! Bye Ro! Bye Ellis! Bye...what's your name."
 * "Man, I feel like I'm Gordon Freeman!"
 * "I heard there's a military base just south of here."
 * "Zombies are driving trucks?"
 * [ After killing a Tank, said two different ways ] "That...is for Bill!"

Friendly Fire

 * [ When shot ] "Do I look like one of them?"
 * "Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Ow, man! Ow! Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Watch where you're shooting!"
 * "Yo, what the hell man? Why you shootin' me?!"
 * "Look at my face! Do I look like them?"
 * "Oww! I'ma shoot you back next time!"
 * "That. Was. MY. ASS!"
 * "I'd really appreciate it if you'd STOP SHOOTING ME!"
 * [ When shot by Zoey ] "Aargh! You gotta stop that shit, Zoey!"
 * [ When shot by Bill ] "Old man, stop shooting me!"
 * "Whoah whoah whoah! Jesus, Bill, what are you doing?!"
 * "Watch it, Bill!"
 * [ If shot again ] "I cannot believe you shot me again!"
 * [ When shot by Francis ] "Francis, that's my ASS you're shooting!"
 * "Go on! Do it one more time, fat man!"

Cut lines

 * [ No Mercy Intro ] "I used to take the subway to Mercy Hospital. Grab the red line, a transfer, and two stops. When this gets back to normal, I'm never gonna complain about that transfer again."
 * "Can't this thing move any faster?"
 * "Man, you CANNOT give up."
 * "Should be around here."
 * "Man, why'd you shoot the car?!"
 * "Don't shoot the car!"
 * "Man, I pressed the button!"
 * "I'll call the elevator."
 * "Get ready, I called the elevator."
 * "Get ready, I pressed the elevator.


 * [ Death Toll Intro ] "Me and my family used to go camping down by the lake. That's where we were heading...only, it wasn't Momma's cookin' waiting for us at the end of this trip."
 * "But we heard gunshots less than an hour ago! There's GOTTA be someone left!"
 * "Is he paddling the boat in with his damn hands?"
 * "Gunfire means people. We gotta hurry!"
 * "We have to get across the bridge!"
 * "Wow! That was cool... Oh wait, how do we get across?"
 * "Now that's a damn fireball!"
 * "We have to find another way."
 * "Hit the button."
 * "Riverside! The military's dug in there! Shipping out refugees."
 * "Riverside! At least we're going the right way."
 * "Hey, Hartford Mining! This should take us to Riverside!"
 * "They shoulda kept movin'..."
 * "We have to lower that platform!"
 * "I don't think getting to Riverside helped."
 * "This shit seemed cooler in movies."
 * "Graveyards used to spook me a little."
 * "There I was wishin' I was in Riverside."
 * "Well, looks like we ain't gonna find any help in Riverside."
 * "I could see coming back here once this is over."
 * "Does anybody know what the hell he's talking about?"
 * "I'm getting a seriously bad vibe off this guy."
 * "Anyone else sick of arguing with the lunatic?"
 * "I think I'd rather take my chances with this guy than die on the shore."
 * "Dunno if I trust him. Guess we ain't got much of a choice, though."
 * "Boat man, get your fat ass over here."


 * [ Dead Air Intro ] "We were gonna take the roof tops to the airport. It was supposed to be about a mile to the terminal. Longest damn mile of my life."
 * "Terry's dead. How can we help?"
 * "We ain't Terry, man. You need refuelin', right?"
 * "I'm a little scared, never been in a plane before."
 * "Hey! If we refuel you, can you fly us out of here?"
 * "You're a pilot? Can you fly us out?"
 * "I see it. Give us a second to get ready."
 * "I see the button. Give us a minute to get ready."


 * [ Blood Harvest Intro ] "We started out on a hill top. Far as I was concerned, that's where we should've stayed. Instead, we headed to a farm house on the bad side of the tracks. Nowadays, though, I guess it's all on the bad side of the tracks."
 * "Yes! My God, yes! You didn't get me, did you? No you did not! Louis beat all your asses!"
 * "I have no idea how this is going to work."
 * "Never thought I'd say it, but I miss the city."
 * "We. Are. SAVED!
 * "We got four immune here!"
 * "I am alive! You hear that? I am breathing and it feels good!"


 * "You do those tattoos yourself, Francis? It'd explain all the misspellings."
 * "When this is over with? I'm buyin' all three of you mansions."
 * "Bill, would you please say one positive thing before I shoot you?"
 * "You were born a crusty old bastard, weren't you, Bill?"
 * "Can zombies swim?"
 * "I had a nice house before this. A 401k... Dammit! I had a really nice 401k!"
 * "Man, I do wish I'd bought stock in ammo manufacturers now."
 * "Look at the bright side: overpopulation? Bad economy? All fixed now."
 * "When things go back to normal, Zoey, Bill - I'm giving you both jobs. Francis, I'll help you sign your fat ass back up on welfare."
 * "Oh no, I'm straight."
 * "Francis, you gotta lighten up, buddy."
 * "Stay frosty."
 * "Francis, don't hate me for being beautiful."
 * "Cocked and locked. Let's show these things how we cure infection."
 * "Think of it like this, Bill: How could it get any worse?"
 * "Yeah, yeah, there you go!"
 * "ZOMBIES. Say it, Francis."
 * "How many damn times are you gonna shoot me?"
 * "Fat man, what the HELL is wrong with you?"
 * "Zoey, you know you're shooting me, right?"
 * "Ow! I ain't damn bulletproof."
 * "Man, I hope I never get on your bad side."
 * "There's something over there."
 * "There is definitely something over there."
 * "Kilt your bitch ass. Bitch."
 * "Sit yer steroid ass down, bitch."
 * "Yeah, yeah, Louis just shot yer bitch ass."
 * "How you like that? Funky-ass bitch."
 * "Punk-ass bitch."
 * "Oh it's BITCH apocalypse now, bitch."
 * "When all this is over, you think they'll call us heroes? We are savin' humanity, right? I mean, a very small, four-person chunk of it, but still."
 * "Yeah, I won. Yeah, yeah."
 * "Hoody-ass bitch."
 * "Funky-smellin' bitch."
 * "Set yer bitch ass on fire!"
 * "I don't know, this shit look real jerry-rigged."
 * "Are you out of your damn mind!"
 * "ARE YOU INSANE?"
 * "What the hell was that?"
 * "Did you hear that?"
 * "Are you seeing this?"
 * "Oh come the hell on."
 * "Zombies might have done us a favor, really. Think about it. We get to start over now."
 * "My last life? District IT manager at Fischer Platt. Not good practice for zombie killing, you know?"
 * "Folks I was with before you three, wouldn't keep movin'. Figured they could wait it out. They couldn't."
 * "I think I just discovered a cure for infection. Lead."
 * "Infected or not - they don't like bullets."
 * "Smile when it hurts the most. That's my philosophy."
 * "Winning isn't everything. Wantin' to win is."
 * "We'll beat 'em 'cause we're better than them. Period."
 * "Humanity ain't beat, it's just takin' a breather."
 * "We'll be laughin' about it when we get to the other side."
 * "Even I can't make lemonade out of this shit."
 * "I guess I'm just a glass-half-full guy."
 * "Ahhh, probably for the best."
 * "Alright, that makes us even."