Nick/Quotes

A list of Nick's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

Intro

 * [Seeing Ellis being ridden by a Jockey]
 * "Ah, shit!"
 * [When Coach's complains about climbing stairs]
 * "Come on, Coach! Maybe the helicopter... Maybe it's made of chocolate!"
 * [Seeing how the helicopters flee the area]
 * "Looks like there's been a change of plans..."
 * [Pulling Ellis away from the zombies attacking him, including a Smoker]
 * "No!"
 * [As intro comes to a close, in background]
 * "I have not... Come this far... To die now."

General

 * "We got a Safehouse!"

No Casualties

 * "I'm starting to like you guys!"
 * "You guys aren't so damn bad!"
 * "Happy New Year!" (referencing Francis' use of "Merry Christmas")
 * "And THAT is how you do it!"
 * "And that, my friends, is how you do it!"
 * "Take that, you mealy-mouthed bastards!"

With Casualties

 * "That was too close..."
 * "That was way... too... close."
 * "We made that by the skin of our teeth."
 * "At least I made it!"

Waiting For Others Inside Safehouse

 * "Don't make me come out there for ya!"

Beginning of Chapter

 * "I'm in the middle of nowhere..."

Commands
These are derived from the PC commands when using the Z or X keys.

Yes

 * "Yeppers."
 * "Yesssss."
 * "Yes; yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
 * "Yes."
 * "Yeah."

No

 * "NO!"
 * "Yeah, no."
 * "No."
 * "Nope."
 * "No-Siree-Bob."
 * "Uh-oh."

Look

 * "Look at this."
 * "Check it out."
 * "Over there."
 * "Look."
 * "Look here."

Argh

 * "Dumbshit!"
 * "This is all going to Hell!"
 * "Goddammit!"
 * "Damn..."
 * "Ah, tits!"
 * "Screw this!"
 * "What an assclown."
 * "ASSCLOWN!"
 * "Shit."
 * "BITCH!"
 * "TITS!"

Taunt

 * "We're the four riders of the goddamn apocalypse!"
 * "Take that, you mealy-mouthed bastards!"
 * "Stick that where the sun don't shine!"
 * "And that is how you do it!"
 * "Candyasses!"
 * "You don't stand a chance!"
 * "Suck on this!"
 * "Give up now"!
 * "Stick that up your ass!"
 * "We are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, and kickin' ass!"
 * "I'm starting to like you guys!"

Follow Me

 * "This way."
 * "Over here."
 * "Follow me."
 * "C'mon this way."
 * "Keep up."
 * "Okay, this way."

You Take the Lead

 * "Whatever you say, Farmer Joe."
 * "Lead on."
 * "Right behind you."
 * "Lead on, Macduff."
 * "Yeah, you go first."
 * "Lead on, smart guy."
 * "Why not, I follow you"

Ready

 * "Ok, we ready?"
 * "We ready?"
 * "Everybody ready?"
 * "Ready?"
 * "Everyone ready?"
 * "Are you guys ready?"
 * "You think you can handle this?"
 * "If you aren't ready, I don't wanna hear it."

Good job

 * "Impressive."
 * "Nice shot, Ace."
 * "Howdja... do that?"
 * "Great shot."
 * [To Rochelle ]
 * "Damn, Rochelle."
 * "Rochelle... damn."
 * "ACES!"

Thank you

 * "I owe you one."
 * "Thanks."
 * "Thanks man, I owe you."
 * "Thanks, Ro." (To Rochelle)
 * "Thanks, Bro." (To Coach)
 * "Thanks, Killer." (To Ellis)

Specific to Dead Center, in The Hotel

 * "Are you guys ready?"
 * "You think you can handle this?"
 * "If you aren't ready, I don't wanna hear it."
 * "I hope you three know how to fight... you don't look it..."

Negative responses

 * "Ass!"
 * "Assclown!"
 * "Screw this!"
 * "ASSHOLE!"
 * "DUMBSHIT!"
 * "Kiss my ass!"
 * "Is this some kind of sick joke?!"
 * "Tits!"
 * "Ah, tits!"
 * "Bitch!"
 * "Goddammit!"
 * "WHAT THE F-"
 * "Ah, COME ON!"

Saved by Defibrillator

 * "QUIT SHOCKING ME, WILL YA?"
 * "AHH! Stop shocking me!"
 * "Oh great, that was some serious shit!"
 * "AHH... Don't ever do that again!"

Reviving Another Survivor

 * "Clear!"
 * "Come on!"
 * "Work, damn it!"

Healing Self

 * "I'm gonna heal."
 * "Gotta heal."
 * "Gonna patch myself up."
 * "Wait up, gonna fix myself up."
 * "Wait—healing!"
 * "Hey, hang on. I'm gonna fix myself up."
 * "Just wait a sec. Healing."
 * "Healing!"
 * "Hold up, gonna heal."
 * "Watch my back, I'm healing."

Healed

 * "Ah. Better."
 * "That worked."
 * "All right, now I'm back."
 * "Okay."

Spotting

 * "Pills here!"

Taking

 * "I got pills."
 * "Can always use these."
 * "I'll hold on to these pills."

Using

 * "Ah, a little pick me up."
 * "Okay. Now gotta find some real first aid."

Spotting

 * "Adrenaline shot here!"

Taking

 * "Grabbing a shot!"

Spotting

 * "Got some chest paddles."
 * "Defib unit here!"
 * "Got a defib unit."
 * "Chest paddles here!"
 * "Defibrillator here!"

Hanging From Ledge

 * "I can't do this on my own, someone give me some help!"

Still Hanging

 * "Anyone going to lend me a hand here?!"
 * "DON'T EVEN THINK OF LEAVING ME HERE!"

Going to Fall

 * "DON'T EVEN THINK OF LEAVING ME HERE DAMMIT, PULL ME UP!"
 * "GODDAMMIT someone pull me up!"

Healing Survivor

 * "Now don't waste this by getting pounced on or something."
 * "Let doctor Nick fix ya up."
 * "You're a mess... stand still."
 * "Hold on, let me heal you."
 * "I should probably save this for me, but... what the hell."
 * [Specific for The Hotel]
 * [In low voice]
 * "Now don't tell the others I'm doing this... I'm only doing this for you."
 * "I know I'm going to regret this, but let me fix you up."
 * "Hold up, I've done this before."

Low Health

 * "Goddammit goddammit god... dammit!"
 * "Don't worry, don't worry... I'm not done yet."
 * "What was I thinking coming down here?"
 * "If I go, you guys are gonna miss me!"
 * "I have seriously felt better."
 * "Pull yourself together, man. You're [grunts in pain] fallin' apart!"
 * "This is not [grunts in pain] how it's gonna end."
 * "You're gonna have to do better than that to kill me!"
 * "I am sick... and tired... of being sick and tired."
 * "It's been a long time since I've felt this bad."
 * "Ain't this a bitch."
 * "Well, at least I didn't catch the flu."
 * "This is some crap."
 * "I gotta take better (grunts) care of myself."
 * "I'm not dead yet, but not exactly healthy."
 * "Okay, alright, I can do this... I can do this..."
 * "Stop being a baby, you've felt worse after a night of drinking."
 * "I am not... going to die... in this city."
 * "I have not...come this far...to die now."
 * "I really screwed the pooch back there."

On Last Down

 * "I'm not going to make it much longer, my friends... I am seriously screwed up!"
 * "Well, boys, this looks like it for me!"
 * "Don't this beat all... I am about to die!"
 * "Alright, I gotta call uncle here. I need some help."
 * [When the other survivors are in the safe room]

Responding to Survivors inside Saferoom

 * "Can't you see I'm limpin' here?"
 * "I'm trying to hurry!"
 * "I'm goin' as fast as I can!"
 * [When low on health in Swamp Fever]
 * "I am not going to become gator food..."
 * "I am not going to die in this swamp..."
 * '[When low on health in Hard Rain]
 * "Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat." (a reference to Apocalypse Now)
 * "What the hell were we thinking stopping here?"
 * [From the Zombie Survival Guide trailer/When low on health on The Parish]
 * "I have not... come this far... to die now!"

Reviving Another Survivor

 * "Ah shit, come on, come on."
 * "Don't worry, I'll get your ass out of this mess."
 * "Easy there, fireball. Let me get you up."
 * "We... I... need you a little longer."
 * "Come on, get up. Get up, you're not dead yet."
 * "Get up, get up, get up!"
 * "Aw shit, get up, get up!"

Revived

 * "Same as always."
 * "I'm not exactly 'great'".
 * "I'm cool. I'm cool."
 * "I'm good, I'm good. Get me up."
 * "Don't worry about me."
 * "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine."
 * "Oh, I'm fine."
 * "Well, what do I look like?"
 * "Oh, I'm super."
 * "I've been better!"
 * "Get me up... please..."
 * "Fan-freakin'-tastic. That's how I am."
 * [When revived by Rochelle]
 * "Thanks, Ro."
 * [When revived by Ellis]
 * "Thanks, killer."
 * [When revived by Coach]
 * "Thanks, bro."

Reviving Another Survivor On Last Down

 * "You're starting to worry me. I can get you up, but if you go down like that again, that's it for you."
 * "I'm gonna get you up, but you go down again, that's it."
 * "We can't afford to lose you... yet."
 * "You are messed up. If you don't get yourself healed up, that's it."
 * "You seriously cannot go down again, 'kay? 'Cause if you do... you're not going to make it."

Survivor death

 * "Ah, SHIT!"
 * "We just screwed our odds..."
 * "I think... we just became longshots."

Rochelle

 * "Good night, Rochelle."
 * "I can think of two other people I would have rather seen go first."
 * "There goes repopulating the Earth."
 * "Ah shit, Rochelle."
 * "Rochelle."

Coach

 * "Shit, Coach... I'll miss ya."
 * "Goddamn it, Coach, what'd you leave me with?"
 * "You were a hell of a man, Coach."
 * "I'll miss you Coach."
 * "Later, Coach..."

Ellis

 * "Y'know all those things I said about you, Ellis? I was just joking, right?"
 * "Ah... Ellis..."
 * "Ellis, I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did."
 * [In The Hotel, while unfamiliar]
 * "He was kind of annoying, but he could shoot a gun."
 * [When both Coach and Rochelle are dead]
 * "Hey Ellis, you know all those things I said? I was kidding."

Trapped in a Rescue Closet

 * "I am stuck in here! Get me out!"
 * "Someone wanna come get me outta here?"
 * "You guys out there? Come and get me!"
 * "I need somebody's help for just five seconds!"
 * "Can one of you people come and get me? Please?"
 * "I'm trapped in a room!"
 * "I cannot get out of here by myself!"
 * "Come on, guys, get me out of here!"
 * "All right, who's available to get me outta here?"
 * "Just this once I need some help!"
 * "You know I'm going to be a big help, just get me out of here!"
 * "I'm no use to anyone in here, get me out of here!"

Team kill (unused)

 * "Don't you think we should be killing the zombies instead?"
 * "What in the hell kinda strategy is that?"
 * "WHAT! This is hard enough without you helping the freaks!"

General

 * "Everybody grab a weapon!"
 * "Weapons over here!"
 * [When at Whitaker's Gun Shop]
 * "I'm not legally allowed to own a gun... hope everyone's okay with that."

Axe

 * "A freakin' axe!"
 * "Axe."

Baseball Bat

 * "I'm gonna whack the shit outta something with this."
 * "This is nice. I'm gonna crack some heads with it."
 * Nick: "This brings back some good memories."
 * Coach: "You play ball, Nick?"
 * Nick: "Nope. Bouncer at a club."

Frying pan

 * "A skillet!"
 * "This'll work."
 * "Gonna bonk some heads with this!"
 * "Frying pan!"

Cricket Bat

 * "This'll come in handy."
 * "I am gonna whack the shit outta somethin' with this!"
 * "Got a Cricket Bat!"

Machete

 * "Gonna save some bullets with this one."

Golf Club

 * "Grabbin' a driver!
 * "Club here."
 * "Golf club."
 * "Grabbin' a golf club."
 * "Driver!"
 * "FORE!"

Katana

 * "Hell yeah!"
 * "Ninja sword here!"
 * "This could be fun!"

Rampaging

 * "DIE, DIE!"
 * "SUCK ON THIS!"
 * "YEAH! DIE!"
 * "YEAAAAHHH!"

Spotting

 * "Crowbar!"

Taking

 * "Grabbin' a crowbar!"
 * "I cannot WAIT to find a crate!"
 * "This feels good."

Spotting

 * "Niiiiiiice!"

Grenade Launcher

 * "Grenade launcher here!"
 * "Time to make some zombie soup."
 * "Hell yeah, grenade launcher!"

M60

 * "Shit, this is heavy."
 * "Shit. Now this is a gun!"
 * "Now this is a gun."
 * "Big gun!"
 * "I'm grabbin' the big gun."
 * "Grabbin' the chain gun!"

Pipe bomb

 * "Pipe bomb out!"
 * "Chase this, you zombie bastards!"
 * "Grenade!"

Molotov

 * "Grabbin' a Molotov."
 * "Molotov!"

Spotting

 * "Is that a bottle of puke?"
 * "That can't be a bottle of puke, is it?" (Dead Center only)
 * "Boomer Bile here!"

Taking

 * "Grabbin' a bile jar!"
 * "Grabbin' puke!"

Throwing

 * "Incoming!"
 * "Fight amongst yourselves!"
 * "Puke in the hole!"

Explosive Ammunition​

 * "Grabbin' some frag rounds!"
 * "Explosive rounds here!"
 * "Deploying frag rounds."

Spotting

 * "Fire bullets here!"

Taking

 * "Grabbin' fire bullets!"

Deploying

 * "Everybody grab some incendiary ammo!"
 * "Let's start some fires, people!"

Horde Alerted

 * "This is why we've got guns!"
 * "Goddammit, it's gettin' good!"
 * "It's about to get serious!"
 * "We got inbound!"
 * "They're comin'!"

Hearing

 * "You hear that Boomer? [sometimes followed by:] Don't let him spew on you."
 * "Boomer around. Don't shoot him if he's near me. Okay?"

Spotting

 * "Boomer!"
 * "Goiter man!"
 * "Aunt Bea."
 * "Fat guy!"
 * "Fatty!"
 * [First time]
 * "So that's a Boomer, huh? You know, it's sad to see an eating disorder get out of control like that."

Vomited on

 * "I'm blind!"
 * "Aw, goddammit!"
 * "Urgh—this is nasty shit!"
 * "Ugh, dammit. I am covered – in vomit – again."

Hearing

 * "Keep your eyes peeled, I hear a Charger."

Spotting

 * "Hillbilly!"
 * "Overalls!"
 * "Charger!"
 * "One Arm!"
 * "Shoot that Charger!"
 * "WE GOT A CHARGER!"
 * "Look out now! Charger!"
 * "Charger... Ellis!"
 * [first time]
 * "So that's a Charger, huh? I think he worked out that arm plenty. He should move onto back and legs."
 * "So that's a Charger, huh? Heh. You know what they say about zombies with one big arm..."

Being Pummeled

 * "Shoot the big guy pounding me into the ground!"
 * "Can someone shoot this goddamn thing?!"
 * "This thing is beating my ass!"
 * "Kill this goddamn thing!"
 * "SHOOT HIM! SHOOT HIM!"
 * "CHARGER'S GOT ME!"

Hearing
[Alt] "What is that, is someone beating a horse or what?"
 * "Scrawny little bitch I'm gonna kill!"
 * "Pay attention, Hunter's around."
 * "Pay attention, there's a Hunter around."
 * "You hear that Hunter?"
 * "What the hell is that noise?"
 * "It's something we have to kill."
 * "Can you hear that?"
 * "Is someone beating a horse?"
 * "Sounds like zombies aren't bad enough."

Spotting

 * "We got a Hunter!"
 * [first time]
 * "So that's a Hunter, huh? What's he gonna do, go for a jog at me?"

Pounced on

 * "GET IT OFF ME!"
 * "GET IT! GET IT!"
 * "AAHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHH!"
 * "GET GET GET!"

Survivor is Pounced

 * "Hunter on [name of Survivor]!"
 * "Get that zombie off 'em!"
 * "Hunter's got [name of Survivor]"

Hearing

 * "One of those little Jockey bastards is around."

Spotting

 * "Little freak!"

Being Ridden

 * "Shoot this thing on my back!"
 * "JOCKEY ON ME!"

Another Survivor being Ridden

 * Ellis: "That don't look dignified!"
 * Nick: "No, it doesn't."
 * "Ten bucks says it takes 'em to the right…"

Spotting

 * [first time]
 * "So that's a Smoker, huh? Bet he's popular with the lady zombies."
 * "Tongue!"
 * "Smokin' thing!"
 * "Licker!"

Grabbed

 * "Shoot the tongue! Shoot the tongue!"
 * "Smoker's GOT ME!"
 * "Freaking tongue!?"
 * "What the—ahh, gross shit."
 * "TONGUE!"
 * "NOOOOOOOOO!"
 * "What the hell?!"
 * "What's this shit?!"

Hearing

 * "There's a Spitter around."

Spotting

 * [first time]
 * "So that's a Spitter, huh? You think she's single?"
 * "Green thing!"
 * "Neck!"
 * "Spitter!"

Spit Incoming

 * "Hot stuff coming!"
 * "We got goo coming!"
 * "Fire spit coming!"

Spit On

 * "I got hit by the burning goo shit!" (3 versions)
 * "Goddammit, I'm covered in goo!"
 * "Get out of the goo!"

Spit On in Dead Center

 * "Ugh, what in the hell did that thing just do?!"
 * "Ugh, what is this shit on me?!"
 * "Ugh, what am I covered in?!"

Spotting

 * "WE GOT A TANK!"
 * "Tank inbound!"
 * "Tank! TANK!"
 * "Man up, we got a Tank!"
 * "Get ready, we got a Tank!"
 * "Hold steady! Tank!"

Spotting in Dead Center

 * "I hope that's not bulletproof." (2 versions)
 * "We are screwed." (2 versions)
 * "Maybe if we don't move, it won't see us." (2 versions)
 * "Okay, that's reason to panic." (2 versions)
 * "What in the hell sign of the apocalypse is "that?" (2 versions)
 * "HOLY SHIT! BIG FREAKIN' ZOMBIE!"  (2 versions)
 * "WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"

Reloading (fighting Tank)

 * "Kill the Tank!"
 * "Shoot the Tank!"
 * "SHOOT THE DAMN TANK!"
 * "SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT!"
 * "Everyone shoot the Tank!"
 * "You! Shoot the Tank!"
 * "Keep shooting!"

Attacked while Incapacitated

 * "Freaking Tank is killing me!"
 * "Mother of mercy! This thing is killing me!"
 * "Do you see this big giant thing on me?!"

Hearing

 * [first time, in Dead Center]
 * "A crying woman… What, you think she's sad the mall's closed?"
 * "Heh, sounds like my ex-wife."
 * "I think I hear my ex-wife."
 * "That sounds like a Witch."
 * "I hear a Witch."
 * "Kill your light."
 * "Lights out."

Witch is Being Disturbed

 * "Can we leave that Witch alone?"
 * "That Witch is getting angry!"

Witch is Startled

 * "Holy shit!"
 * "Goddammit!"
 * "Shit!"
 * "No!!!!"
 * "Bitch!"

Being Chased

 * "This bitch is chasing me!"
 * "Shoot the Witch! Shoot the Witch! Shoot the Witch! What're you doing?! Shoot her!"
 * "IIIIII pissed the Witch off!"
 * "Witch coming! Witch coming!"

Hazmat Infected

 * "Guess those suits don't stop bites."
 * "Are those guys fireproof?"
 * "Hazmat guys!"

Jimmy Gibbs Jr.

 * "GodDAMN you, Jimmy Gibbs Junior!"
 * "Holy shit!"

Fallen Survivor

 * "Is that a Survivor?!"
 * "Kill that zombie, he's got something!"
 * "Did that zombie just drop something?"
 * "That zombie dropped something!"
 * "That zombie's got something, kill it!"
 * "Get that zombie, he's got something!"
 * "That zombie just dropped something!"
 * "What's that zombie got?"
 * "What did that zombie drop?"
 * "I think that zombie dropped something!"

Clown Infected

 * "Kill the clown, he's attracting more zombies!"
 * "Kill the clown!"
 * "That squeaking is driving the zombies crazy!"
 * "Shoot the clown!"
 * "Kill every clown you see!"

Mudmen

 * "Screw these goddamn mud people!"
 * "I'm with Ellis, I hate these mud people!"
 * "Mudders!"
 * "Watch out, mudmen!"

Riot infected

 * "Those zombies are wearing armor?"
 * "Shoot the armored zombies in the back!"
 * "Those zombies are wearing armor!"

Intro

 * "So much for the rescue, any ideas?"
 * "We're still here!"
 * "Where the hell's the copter going? We're right here!"
 * "Hey, get back here!"
 * "Dammit, we just missed it!"
 * "Hey get back here!"
 * "Hey, come back, I'm here! There's still someone down here!"
 * "You could've yelled if you wanted."
 * "Goddammit, they left us!"
 * "They saw us alright and they're not coming back."
 * "Not to burst your bubble sport, but this building is burning down. They're not coming back."
 * "Okay, helicopters don't come back when you yell at 'em. Now we know that."
 * "Good, that's decided. Moving on: I think this building's on fire. Sooo... I'd like to leave (this building/it)."
 * "Okay. Helicopters don't come back when you yell at 'em. Valuable lesson, you three tuck that away for later. Now grab a weapon and follow me. This goddamn building's on fire."
 * "Hey! Loud girl. Hayseed. Tons of fun. This building is on FIRE. Grab a weapon and let's get the hell out of here."
 * "It's flying away from the burning building we're standing on; let's follow its lead and get the hell out of here."
 * "Okay, we all had a turn yelling at the helicopter. Good. Moving on: I think the building's on fire."
 * "Grab something; I got a feeling this isn't gonna be easy."
 * "We better arm ourselves. I hope you three know how to fight. You don't look it."
 * "If the world's goin' to hell, I'm taking a weapon."
 * "Everybody grab a weapon. I get the feeling we're gonna need 'em."
 * "Lets grab some weapons. I have a feeling something's down there..."
 * "I hope you three know how to fight—you don't look it."
 * [When the group encounters the Infected]
 * "Holy shit! It's zombies!"
 * "Oh, this is unexpected."
 * "These don't look like people."
 * "Jesus Christ, what are these things?!"
 * "I dunno about you, but I'm killing these things!"
 * "Zombies, eh? I knew zombies were real."
 * [Studying the map]
 * "If that map's right, New Orleans might be the last place in America that can get us out alive."
 * "According to this map, the only place left standing is New Orleans."
 * "Jesus, the whole country's fallen."
 * "This map is NOT good news."
 * "According to this map, there aren't a whole lot of options."
 * "Looks like New Orleans is the last place on Earth that can get us out alive."
 * "Dammit, elevator's out!"
 * "Alright, I'm not walking through THAT. Let's find another way."
 * "Let's find another way. This suit's flammable."
 * "Shit! This place's burning up fast!"
 * "Get out to the ledge!"
 * "Out here, let's try the ledge!"
 * "We can use this ledge to get around the fire!"
 * "This elevator's still working!"
 * "Technically... you're not supposed to use an elevator on a fire. But that might not apply during a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE."
 * "Everybody get in the elevator!"
 * [While in the elevator]
 * "Anyone get bit? Isn't that how this works?"
 * "Well I'm glad I got that out of the way. Now, did anyone get bit?"
 * "There's blood on me, but it ain't mine."
 * "No, I'm good."
 * "I normally go solo, but under these circumstances, I'm thinking we stick together. Call me Nick. You got names?"
 * "Hey. What's your name?"
 * "Nick. Name's Nick. You all did good. What are your names?"
 * "I'm Nicolas... Nick."
 * "Name's Nick, but don't bother learning it 'cause I ain't sticking around long."
 * "Nick. That's all you need to know."
 * "Nick."
 * "Name's Nick."
 * "Nick. Not that it matters, 'cuz I think we should split up when this thing opens."
 * [While in the elevator and another Survivor is dead]
 * "And then there were three."
 * "We're pretty screwed."
 * "Was it Ellis? Doesn't matter now."
 * "I think it was Coach. Don't matter now."
 * "I think she said she was Rochelle."
 * [If Rochelle has the most kills by the time you get to the elevator]
 * "You did good out there, Rochelle."
 * "I bet there's gonna be somethin' waiting for us out there. So let's get ready."
 * "Alright, we're all friends now. Get ready."
 * "Search these rooms, might be somethin' we can use."

The Streets

 * "Sounds good to me!"
 * "A gun store sounds like a fine place to stop."
 * Nick: "I guess living here's finally paying off."
 * Coach: "Mister, I don't think I like your attitude."
 * Nick: "Whatever."
 * "Get me to the mall and I'll make it worth your while."
 * "Mall must be close."
 * [Entering Whitaker's Gun Shop]
 * "Candy store for adults!"
 * "Let's grab some guns, we got shit to shoot!"
 * "I'm not legally allowed to own a gun... hope everyone's okay with that."
 * [Talking to Whitaker before entering the Mall]
 * "So let me get this straight: we get you your shit and you'll help us get to the mall, right? Okay, you screw us, and I will kill you with your own gun."
 * "Thanks for the guns, honestly. We all appreciate it. But you better not be screwing with us."
 * "Sure. Why not?"
 * "Sir, for the use of this gun, I am willing to go get you your Cola."
 * "Get ready, this is gonna set off the alarm!"
 * "Get the Cola!"
 * "Grab the Cola!"
 * "Somebody grab the Cola!"
 * "I got his Cola, let's go!"
 * "We got it, let's go!"
 * "Got the Cola!"
 * "Barrier's down, let's get out of here!"
 * "There goes the tanker; Let's get out of here!"
 * "That's one way to open a path!"
 * "I gotta respect that!"
 * "THAT is how you clear a path!"
 * "I'll be damned. We actually made it to the mall!"
 * "Well we made it! Let's hope there's still somebody here."
 * "Okay, we made it! Let's hope there's still somebody here."
 * "Okay, we made it to the mall. Barely."

The Mall

 * "If anyone sees a men's store, let me know. I've got blood on my suit." (Possible reference to the Spy from Team Fortress 2)
 * "Let's go find the evacuation center. I'm already sick of this place."
 * "Ugh, God, I hate malls!"
 * [Upon spotting the store "Disco Pants and Hair Cuts"]
 * "Disco pants and haircuts. Man, lots of space in this mall." (Reference to The Blues Brothers)
 * "Up this escalator!"
 * "Down that escalator!"
 * "I'm get a sinking feeling this alarm's gonna get us some attention."
 * "I got a sick feeling this alarm's gonna get us some attention."
 * "Keep going up!"
 * "Up, up, keep moving!"
 * "Turn off that alarm!"
 * "We gotta turn off this alarm!"
 * "We need to turn off this alarm!"
 * "Is there some way to turn off this alarm?!"
 * "How do we turn this alarm off?"
 * "Got it."
 * "Alarm off!"
 * "Thanks for turning off that alarm!"
 * "Man, that was driving me crazy!"
 * "You know what, I can take the zombies, but not that goddamn noise!"
 * "Agh, Jesus, I knew it! There's nothing here!"
 * "Okay, so the evac station's abandoned, annnnd we're at the center of a zombie-filled building. On the bright side? We're all probably gonna die."
 * "CEDA. Leaving me twice in one day, lesson learned."
 * "No one's alive in here."
 * "We aren't getting saved!"

The Atrium

 * [Seeing Jimmy Gibbs Jr. Poster]
 * "Who the hell is Jimmy Gibbs Jr.?"
 * "I'm getting sick at looking at this guy's face!"
 * "Really? 'Cause he looks like an asshole."
 * "How big is the tank in this thing?!"
 * "HELL YEAH! Next stop: New Orleans!"
 * "Hit it, Ellis!"
 * "What a fun road trip this'll be"

The Riverbank
[Alt] "Bite me, Colonel Sanders!" [Alt] "Would you lighten up?... Man, no one can take a joke anymore." [Alt] "Coach, no time for cake. I'll keep an eye out for some, okay, buddy?"
 * [Start of Campaign; talking with Francis]
 * Nick: "I'm telling you the last goddamn time: Lower the goddamn bridge so we can get our goddamn car across, you greasy vest-wearing monkey."
 * Francis: "Ahhh go to Hell, suit."
 * [In response to Francis, who states he is a cop]
 * "That guy's no cop."
 * "I'll tell ya' somethin'. That guy is no cop."
 * "So we find this historic section, go under the river, and then we kick that biker-dude's ass, right?"
 * [When talking to Zoey]
 * Nick: "That's terrific, cupcake. Look, is there a man up there we can talk to?"
 * Zoey: "Boohoo, I don't know what to do... Go to Hell, Colonel Sanders!"
 * Rochelle: "I can't believe you used to be a con artist."
 * Nick: "Hey, lighten up. Man, no one can take a joke anymore."
 * [Upon seeing lockers]
 * "Search these lockers!"
 * "What's in here?"
 * "Let's see what's in here!"
 * "Let's open this up."
 * "Check it out. Open it up!"
 * [Reacting to the Bride Witch]
 * "Careful. I've seen a bride just like this before."
 * Coach: "Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo."
 * "Wedding music, and a crying woman left at the altar. This is bringing back some bad memories."
 * "Wedding dress, crying... this brings back some bad memories."
 * "Careful... I've seen a bride just like this before."
 * "Ellis. Maybe you should grab that dress for your new girlfriend."
 * "Ah Christ, this is more depressing than zombies."
 * "Ah shit, a wedding... this is more depressing than the zombies."
 * "I hate going to weddings."
 * "It's not easy to get blood out of a wedding dress... don't ask me how I know that."
 * "I think we're a little late for this wedding."
 * [Mocking Ellis' accent]
 * "Ellis, look! It's another angel!"
 * [Upon crowning a Bride Witch]
 * "Honeymoon's over... bitch!"
 * "That has been a fantasy of mine for a long, long time."
 * "He ain't comin' back, honey."
 * "Now that's a shotgun wedding."
 * [Upon startling a Bride Witch]
 * "Here comes the bride!"
 * [Upon being attacked by a Bride Witch]
 * "This bride is killing me!"
 * [When Coach is looking for the wedding cake]
 * "Coach, no time for cake."

The Underground
[Alt] "What's the matter, sweetie? Playin' hard to get?" [Alt] "Should we wait until they finish?"
 * [Saferoom]
 * "I don't have a problem with leaving the car AND you behind. Okay, Ellis?"
 * "If anybody sees any hand sanitizer, let me know."
 * Coach: "You're not scared of one little germ, are you, Nick?"
 * Nick: "One germ nearly wiped out the entire human race, so YES!"
 * [Alternate Line]
 * Rochelle: (laughs) "You're kidding, right?"
 * Nick: "Yeah, hahaha, a little more hand sanitizer and we wouldn't be in this mess."
 * "Boiled nuts? Coach, come on, what is wrong with you southerners?"
 * [Teasing Rochelle about Francis]
 * "What's the matter, Rochelle? Playin' hard to get?"
 * "I saw the way you were lookin' at him!"
 * "Look, there are probably ten guys left on the planet, Rochelle, and you aren't getting any younger, sweetie."
 * [Upon entering the tattoo parlor]
 * "Y'know, I've never done a color tattoo before..."
 * "Who wants a tattoo?"
 * "Hey Ellis, maybe you should get a tattoo of that Zoey girl on your butt."
 * "Ellis, did you get that girl's name? 'Cause I can tattoo it on your ass. She'll like that."
 * "Rochelle, do you want me to tattoo your boyfriend's name on your arm? I'll just write 'Greasy Pig', we all know who we're talking about."
 * "I'm gonna get one that says no."
 * [Upon seeing the suitcase full of guns and money]
 * "I like the way this guy packs!"
 * "Don't mind if I do."
 * [While crossing the plank several stories above ground]
 * "Let's hurry across the plank before a Smoker gets us."
 * "Watch out for Chargers."
 * "Over this plank."
 * "Okay, let's cross this plank, quick."
 * "Don't look down. Watch yourself on this thing."
 * "Cross quick before a Smoker grabs ya'."
 * [Upon seeing the Midnight Rider's tourbus]
 * "I must be dreaming."
 * "Did anyone else see that?!"
 * [Upon entering the sewers]
 * "Oh, this is some gross shit."
 * "A sewer filled with bodies! This is sanitary."
 * [After entering the water]
 * "It's just a storm sewer, it is just a STORM sewer..."
 * Ellis: "Don't smell like one."
 * Nick: "Ellis, I need this."
 * Rochelle: "Hey Nick! Splash fight?"
 * Nick: "NOOOOO!"
 * "Seriously, look, I'll give any one of ya' a thousand bucks to whoever gives me a piggyback ride." [Note: the subtitles say "dollars" but Nick says "bucks"]
 * "I am breathing shit air into my lungs. It is being absorbed into my bloodstream. I am literally full of shit."
 * "Here's a pleasant thought: Any one of us gets pounced, we're going to be fully submerged in shit water."
 * "Seriously, is nobody else freaked out right now? We are walking through a sewer."
 * "I am walking through a toilet. Thank you, Jimmy Gibbs."
 * [To self]
 * "Hey Nick, what's new? Oh, not much, I couldn't drive Jimmy Gibbs' stock car over a bridge, so I'm crawlin' through a shit-filled sewer so I can lower it. You?"
 * [In response to Ellis' comment about his suit]
 * "I hate you, Ellis!"
 * Ellis: "Well, I still like you, Nick."
 * [During the Gauntlet Crescendo]
 * "Goddammit! Back into the shit water!"
 * "Shit! Back in the toilet."
 * "Back in the water."
 * "Don't stop in the sewer!"
 * Nick: "Yeah, a tunnel. I guess you're right, Coach. History is coming alive."
 * Coach: "Shut up, Nick!"
 * Ellis: "Actually, I'd like to see that, too."
 * Coach: "Both of you, shut up!"
 * [During the tour]
 * "So... it's an antique basement, then... fantastic."
 * "Looks like the tour is in the Jazz club."
 * "You're right, Coach, you're so right... history is coming alive."
 * "Why is everything historic so filthy?"
 * [Upon see the "Phase Two" sign]
 * "Phase Two—does this even go through?"
 * "From one con man to another: five bucks for this? I tip my hat to you, Rayford."
 * "Jesus Christ, what did we just pay five bucks for?"
 * "Five goddamn dollars for an under the river tour. Well played, Rayford... well played."

The Port
[Alt] "Nick, you need to find a woman who hates herself. Then she'll love you." [Alt] "Nick. Leave him alone." [Alt] "A-B-C. Always be closing." (taken from Alec Baldwin's speech in Glengarry Glen Ross) [Alt] "What? I'm a closer."
 * [While in the Safe Room]
 * Nick: "So we're about to see that girl again—what's her name, Zoey?"
 * Ellis: "Okay, you know what? No need to remind me, Nick. I'm a nervous wreck over here."
 * Nick: "What are you nervous about? You had your chance, and you didn't do shit. Now, you can watch Nick take care of business."
 * Rochelle: "Nick, being one of the last two women alive, I can safely say at least half of the women in this world hate you."
 * [In response to Rochelle defending Ellis when Nick teases him about Zoey]
 * "What? I'm a handsome man."
 * "What? I'm a handsome man. What can I tell ya'?"
 * [In response to Ellis asking how he looks]
 * Nick: "Like you ran through a sewer."
 * Ellis: "Well, there's a turd on your shoulder."
 * Nick: "I'm not even gonna look."
 * "I don't trust that biker. He better still be here."
 * [In response to Rochelle, who states that Francis will still be on the bridge]
 * "You know him that well?"
 * "You got a good feeling about every scumbag that lives on a bridge?"
 * [Louis makes a kill]
 * "You're a badass with that gun, Louis!"
 * "Louis, I'm beginning to like you and your gun!"
 * "Hey Louis, are you sure you don't wanna come with us? We can leave Ellis behind."
 * [When filling up the generator]
 * "Why is everything always empty?"
 * "Why doesn't anything ever have enough gas in it!?"
 * [When meeting Francis for the second time]
 * Francis: "Never thought a fancy ass like you would have made it this far."
 * Nick: "That's funny, because I knew your lazy ass would still be here."
 * "I guess they'll help right? First we fill up Jimmy Gibbs' car with gas, now a generator. What next? Don't answer that, Ellis."
 * [When Francis makes a kill]
 * "I owe you one, Francis."
 * "Nice shot, Francis!"
 * [When Zoey makes a kill]
 * "Zoey!"
 * "Zoey, all right!"
 * "Nice shot, Zoey!"
 * [Picking up an item that Zoey, Francis or Louis throw down]
 * "That's what we need."
 * "Shit! Thanks!"
 * "Thanks, we'll make good use of this!"
 * "Sorry if I was rude before, you guys are all right!"
 * "Thanks pal! Got it, thank you!"
 * [To Francis]
 * "Thanks, greaseball!"
 * [To Zoey]
 * "Thanks, babe!"
 * [To Louis]
 * "Thanks, Louis!"
 * [Upon reaching Jimmy Gibbs' car]
 * "Hit it, Ellis!"
 * "I hope those three are gonna be okay!"
 * "Don't worry Ellis, plenty of fish in the sea!"
 * "Next stop, New Orleans!"
 * "Thanks guys, you good?"
 * "Thank you, good luck out there, eh?"
 * "You three take care of yourselves! And thanks, we won't forget this!"
 * "Be safe, you three!"
 * "Thanks, we gotta run!"
 * "Get to the car! Get to the car!"
 * "Thanks to you three! Good luck!"
 * "I actually think I might miss one of these guys."

The Highway
[Alt] "Goddamn you, Jimmy Gibbs Jr.!"
 * "I hate to be the bearer of bad news guys, but unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we ain't driving through this.
 * Ellis: "Sorry, guys. Guess it wasn't such a hot idea after all."
 * Nick: "Don't sweat it, Ellis. At least you got us out of that mall."
 * Ellis(if Nick says Alt):"That's not cool, Nick."
 * [In response to Coach explaining he went to Whispering Oaks as a kid]
 * "Oh good. Now we can all die there as adults."
 * "I think our options are keep moving down the road towards those lights or die here. Anyone in the "die here" camp? No? Then let's move out."
 * "These abandoned cars go on for miles!"
 * Coach: "Maybe they left em' when they got rescued."
 * Nick: "That's... one theory."
 * [Upon noticing the burned bodies in the pool at the motel]
 * (whistles) "Those people sucked at high diving."
 * "They're not kidding when they say no lifeguards on duty."
 * [While going down the hill]
 * "Whoa, shit!"
 * "Christ."
 * [After going down the hill, and Ellis makes a comment about going downhill being "fun"]
 * "Falling and breaking my neck is not a fun time, Ellis."

The Fairgrounds
[Alt] "You guys are jaded. I used to have his toys when I was just bite-sized. That little stuffed peanut is the best friend a boy could have." [Alt] "You're a real comedian, Nick."
 * [In the Safe Room]
 * Coach: "Hey the Midnight Riders! I used to love that band!"
 * Nick: "Never heard of 'em. They any good?"
 * Coach: "Hell yes! I have ALL their albums — even their new stuff that ain't no good! Best light show in the business, though."
 * [While looking at the Lil' Peanut cutout]
 * "I do not like that little peanut man."
 * Ellis: "Man, how can you not like Lil' Peanut? I love this little guy!"
 * "Anybody else find this peanut thing a little terrifying?"
 * [After Ellis screams "Kiddieland"]
 * "He's like a five year old. With guns. And a comprehensive grasp of every swear word in the English language."
 * [Before the Crescendo Event]
 * "You gotta be this tall to get in here, Ellis. Sorry, buddy. You'll be missed."
 * Ellis: " Ha Ha. Aren't you a real comedian."
 * "Nice fencing. Looks like a federal carousel penitentiary."
 * "A fenced-in carousel. Is this where they took child prisoners on day trips?"
 * Coach: "If we make this out alive, I'm taking y'all to a steak dinner."
 * Nick: "Buddy, if you get me out of this alive, I will deep-fry you an entire goddamn cow."
 * [Upon seeing the switch to the Crescendo Event]
 * "We need to turn on this power to open the gate. You know what I think it's gonna activate everything else around here."
 * [In the Safe Room]
 * "Why couldn't I have been in Vegas when the Infection hit, or even Atlantic City? Instead, I'm trapped in some goddamn hillbilly tunnel of love. Did you see that sign out front? Cousins-only day today."
 * "This is the most relaxing safe room I've ever been in!"

The Coaster
[Alt] "Ha, ha, ha."
 * [In the beginning of the Tunnel of Love]
 * Nick: You got your wish Ellis—we're in an amusement park ride."
 * Ellis: "This ain't that kind of ride, Nick. [Whispering] This is where you make out with your girlfriend."
 * Nick:Why couldn't we be in Vegas when the infection hit? Instead I'm stuck in this redneck tunnel of love. You see the sign out front? It's cousins only day.
 * [Alternate Line]
 * Nick: "Bringing back any memories, Coach? You, a cheeseburger, romance in the air..."
 * Coach: "How many tunnel of love memories YOU got, Nick?"
 * Nick: "Pfft. Huh. Several. Easy."
 * [Alternate Line]
 * Coach: Nick, I was on the football team. Coach did just fine.
 * [While moving through the Tunnel of Love]
 * "You could almost call this a cement river, Ellis!"
 * Ellis: "Yeah, very funny."
 * "Into the swan maintenance room of love!"
 * "This is the longest tunnel of love I've ever seen!"
 * "Hmm. Okay, that got us around the block."
 * [In the air duct shortcut]
 * "Well, this isn't very romantic."
 * [While running on the coaster tracks]
 * "These Infected do NOT respect lines!"
 * "Thank God this doesn't do a loop."
 * "Just follow the tracks!"
 * "I hate roller coasters."
 * "Make sure to call out if you get pulled."

The Barns
[Alt] "Ugh! What's that smell?" [Alt] Rochelle: "Smells like... a white suit... that hasn't been dry cleaned in about a month."
 * [When viewing a dead animal in the barns]
 * "Looks like the H in 4H stands for Hell."
 * Ellis: "Smells like dead zombies. Everything's startin' to smell like that lately."

The Concert

 * [In the Safe Room, in response to Coach's plan]
 * "Coach, that is the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with"
 * "I know I'm going to regret this, but turn it up!"
 * "Okay, we'll set off the pyrotechnics, but I'm telling you right now. I AM NOT GOING TO AIR GUITAR."
 * "I think I know how to start the finale; hit the button labeled 'Finale'."
 * "When I hit this tape, it's gonna blare some old people's rock music and start the finale. Get ready."
 * "Unless someone else has a better idea, lets rock."
 * "Coach, when I start this finale, you aren't gonna start dancing are you? Ahh, screw it, I'm hitting it."
 * "If you have any taste, cover your ears. I'm starting the finale."
 * "Hit the flash bangs!"
 * "I think the copter pilot wants us to turn it down."
 * "Ellis, I'm sorry to ruin your day, but I think your heroes are lip-singers. There's a button here labeled 'Finale'."
 * [After seeing the helicopter]
 * "Coach, you're a genius! This worked!"
 * "It worked! I love you, Coach!"
 * "Great, following shiny lights in the sky. We're like freaking cats and a laser pointer."

Swamp Fever
[Alt] "I shot a zombie. He was a zombie, Ellis. He must have gotten bitten before he picked us up."
 * [In response to Ellis' reaction to him killing the pilot]
 * "Well he wasn't doing a very good job once he became a zombie, now was he?"
 * Rochelle: "That's true. If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it would probably be when he stopped flying the chopper and... attacked us. Anyone know where we are?"
 * Nick: "I still can't believe none of you were going to shoot him."
 * [In response to Ellis talking about the blood farmers]
 * "Jesus Christ, Ellis, like the goddamn zombies aren't bad enough."
 * [When seeing the downed passenger jet]
 * "I guess walking isn't so bad."
 * [Before triggering the emergency door in the jet]
 * "We can get through this door."
 * "I think it's a safe bet to say an alarm will sound when we open this door."
 * "We have to open this door."
 * "Someone open the door."
 * "The emergency exit is the only way."
 * [When opening the door]
 * "I'm opening the door."
 * "Get ready, I'm opening the door."
 * [When low on Health]
 * "I am not dying in this goddamn swamp."
 * "I am not going to become gator food..."
 * [When jumping into deep water]
 * Nick: "Shit! All this swamp is gonna ruin my white suit!"
 * Rochelle: (laughs) "You mean the one with zombie brains all over it? That one?"
 * Nick: "Brains come out, swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that."
 * ​Rochelle: "So what do you think is going to kill us? Gators, snakes, bugs, or mud people?
 * Nick: You're forgetting one thing—from the way we're shooting? Each other."
 * [When crossing the river in Plank Country]
 * Rochelle: "Nick, what do you think the odds are that the swamp people are still alive?"
 * Nick: "What alive and Infected, or alive and not zombies?"
 * Rochelle: "Not zombies."
 * Nick: "100 to 1."
 * Rochelle: "Sound about right."

The Milltown
[Seeing the sign at the first gas station]
 * "What are we supposed to signal him with?"
 * Ellis: "Oh, there's flares in the gun bag."
 * Nick: "What gun bag?
 * Ellis: "You didn't grab the guns?
 * Nick: "ME? Who died and made me the gun monitor?
 * Ellis: "Pretty much everybody."
 * Rochelle: "Well, this should be easy. All we need is to find some diesel."
 * Nick: Anybody wanna hear a prediction?"
 * Everyone in synchronization: "NO!"
 * Nick: "There's not gonna be any gas. Watch."
 * "No gas. See? What'd I say?"
 * Ellis: "Looks like we gotta head to this Ducatel place."
 * Nick: "What makes you think they still have gas?"
 * Coach: "'Cause if they don't, we're gonna be stuck here forever, Nick."

The Sugar Mill

 * "The last time I saw this many crying women was at my wedding."
 * "DAMN! There are so many witches!" [Nick laughs] "I bet they all cry because I dumped them all."

The Waterfront
[Alt] "Yeah, well, seeing the bridge and getting there are two different things."
 * "I... have not... come this far... to die now."
 * [When the fighter jets fly by]
 * Coach: "Alright! The military's still here!"
 * Nick: "You don't evacuate people in fighter jets."
 * [Alternative when the fighter jets fly by]
 * Coach: "They still flyin' jets!"
 * Nick: "I wonder if that's a good thing."
 * Coach: "It means they haven't abandoned N'awlins."
 * [In response to Coach saying how close they are to the bridge]
 * "You mean that blurry line in the horizon? Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

The Park
[Alt] "Goddammit, you are messed up."
 * [Response to Ellis' horse comment]
 * Nick: "Ever eaten horse? Tasty."
 * Ellis: "Horses are for ridin', not eatin', Nick."
 * "From the looks of this park, I'm glad we didn't arrive early.
 * [Upon seeing the bathrooms]
 * "Oh man, it smells awful in here."
 * "It smells like... piss."
 * Ellis: "I think it smells kinda nice.
 * Nick: "You're screwed up in the head, you know that?"

The Quarter
[Alt] "Hooey, why we headin' there?" [Alt] "Wait... we are going it together right?" [Alt] "Well, it's official. They're trying to kill US now."
 * [Upon seeing The Parade]
 * "Look, Ellis! A tractor."
 * "Looks like our milk run just became a marathon."
 * [When seeing the helicopter at finale]
 * "GET TO THE CHOPPER!"
 * [Upon seeing uninfected dead bodies]
 * Nick: "Jesus! These are people! They were shooting people! I told you I had a bad feeling about this."
 * Coach: "How's it feel to be so right, Nick?"
 * Nick: "Not good..."
 * [Before starting The Park's Crescendo Event]
 * Nick: "As soon as we open that door, get ready to run for the tower."
 * Ellis: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait... why we goin' to the tower?"
 * Nick: "We run to the tower, and we turn off the alarm!"
 * Ellis: "Oh! Okay, okay, I get it!"
 * Nick: "Of course we're going together."
 * [Alternate Line]
 * Nick: "As soon as that door opens, get ready to run for the tower."
 * Coach: "Got to agree with that."
 * [Upon seeing the hash marks on the barricaded bedroom wall]
 * "Does this guy's scorecard mean what I think it means?"
 * "Jesus, it was open season on everything out here."
 * [Upon entering the sewers]
 * "I am not going in the se— Ah screw it! Let's go."
 * "Oh Christ, not the sewer."
 * "Ugh. What's that SMELL?"
 * [Upon taking a Nightstick from a dead Riot Cop]
 * "I used to steal these from cops back in high school."
 * "If my friends ever saw me usin' a cop's gun..."
 * [Upon entering the impound lot]
 * "Whoawhoawhoawhoa watch where you shoot!"
 * "If you wanna shoot cars, let's shoot cars!"
 * "Careful, carrrefullll..."
 * "You have GOT to be kidding me!"
 * [After reaching the freeway after the impound lot]
 * "We made it, I can't believe we actually made it!"
 * [Fighter jets blow up the freeway]
 * "OH, COME ON!"
 * [In response to Coach saying not to panic]
 * "You sure we shouldn't we just panic? I mean, I think panic was invented for just this sort of situation!"
 * [In The Quarter's Safe Room, as bombs are being dropped]
 * "Christ, those guys are such assholes."
 * "Looks like they've run out of bridges to bomb."
 * [In The Bridge's Safe Room]
 * Nick: "Before we run across this bridge right toward the people who've been dropping bombs on us, anyone wanna talk about a Plan B?"
 * Ellis: "I don't."
 * Coach: "No."
 * Nick: "Alright then, let's go."
 * [Alternate Line]
 * Coach: "Alright, alright, alright. We're gonna stroll across that bridge, and the army's gonna take care of us."
 * Nick: "Or, they're gonna line us up against the wall, and shoot us."
 * Coach: "Well, you're free to make yourself a new life right here in this room, Nick."
 * Nick: "Okay, alright, let's go."

Friendly Fire

 * "Are you really going to shoot a guy in a $3,000 suit? Come on!"
 * "You know it's not alright you are shooting me!"
 * "Never shoot me again!"
 * "Do not shoot me!"
 * "DON'T. SHOOT. ME."
 * "YOU. ARE. SHOOTING. ME."
 * "You are shooting me!".
 * "Well thank you for ventilating my suit."
 * "Will you stop shooting me?"
 * "Why would you think shooting me is a good idea?"
 * "Let's try shooting zombies instead of people, okay?"
 * "You're shooting me again."
 * "You wanna watch were your shooting!"
 * "Damn! ...You suck at shooting."
 * "You do not want to be shooting me."
 * "Shoot me again, and I'll drop ya'."
 * "You do not want to be shooting me."
 * "You Shoot me again, and I will drop you."
 * "Shoot me again. Shoot me again, I dare ya'."
 * "Shoot me again, I'm not dead yet!"
 * "Stop shooting me!"
 * "Stop - Shooting me, doesn't get us, anywhere!"
 * "You do that again and I will bury you alive."
 * "Can we not shoot each other, please?"
 * "Can you stop shooting me?"
 * "Can we stop shooting each other?"
 * "Question: Can we not shoot each other?"
 * "Can we not shoot each other?"
 * "Can we not shoot each other, please?"
 * "I don't know who started this shit, 'kay? But let's just stop the friendly fire right now." (In the Subtitles, the "fire" part right after "friendly" is missing so it reads "But let's just stop the friendly right now.")
 * "Lets not mess this up by shooting each other,okay!"
 * "Unless you want to be picking your teeth up off the floor, stop shooting me."
 * "Stop shooting each other!"
 * "I don't wanna hear any excuses just stop shooting me!"
 * "You do realize that your shooting me right?"
 * "You're shooting me again!"
 * "Don't shoot each other!"
 * "WHAT THE-"
 * "OH COME ON!"
 * [When Tank is Nearby]
 * "NOT ME! SHOOT THE TANK!"
 * "Hey, shoot the TANK!"
 * "Agh, the TANK!"
 * "The Tank, hotshot! Shoot the Tank!"
 * "It's 12 ft tall, 6 ft wide. How are you shooting me?"
 * "It's the size of a truck, how are you missing?"
 * "Come on, shoot the TANK! Not me!"
 * [Accused of Friendly Fire]
 * "If you'd looked out, you wouldn't get hit!"

Shot by Ellis
[Alt] "Christ, Ellis, as if the zombies aren't bad enough."
 * "DUMBSHIT!"
 * [Mocking Ellis]
 * "Y'all wanna stop shooting me?"
 * "Jesus Christ, Ellis, like the goddamn zombies aren't bad enough."
 * "Ellis, come on man!"
 * "Hey, sport? Watch where you're shooting."

Shot by Coach

 * "Coach, c'mon, man."
 * "Coach, don't shoot me!"
 * "Coach, you do that again, and I'll bury you alive."
 * "Coach."

Shot by Rochelle

 * "Sweetheart? Don't shoot me."
 * "Rochelle!"
 * "Ro! Just, just stop, okay."

Scavenge

 * [At the beginning of Scavenge Mode]
 * "Let's get some gas."
 * [Pouring gas into the tank]
 * "Come on... Come-onnn..."
 * "Piece of shit gas, GET IN THE CAR!"
 * [After winning a Scavenge Match]
 * "We're makin' it look easy!"

Giving an item

 * [General]
 * "It's more blessed to give than receive."
 * "Have this."
 * "Just take this."
 * "This is for you."
 * "Here, I don't need this."
 * "Take it, just take it."
 * [During Dead Center, when names are unknown]
 * "Hey you, take this."
 * "Hey, what's your name, here you go."

Badwater Basin

 * "We have to push what?" (2 versions)

Cold-theme line

 * "Goddamn, it's cold."
 * "Storm isn't gonna give up."
 * "Ellis, we're not gonna have a snowball fight."
 * "Ellis, don't look like you're having fun."

Train-theme lines

 * "We need to get to the train station."
 * "Hey, Ellis! Whoop whoop!"
 * "All aboard, whoop whoop!"

Unused
These quotes appear in the game files but are not used in-game


 * The boardwalk still smells like popcorn and this back alley still stinks like piss. [Possibly Dark Carnival]
 * Of course it's full of zombies. The whole god damn world is full of zombies. See you in a few minutes. [Possibly used in conversation with military at bridge]
 * You know what I like best about your stories, Ellis? The sound they make when they stop.
 * Because all you THINK about is ribs, Coach.
 * I trust you. You look like a man who knows his donuts.
 * HELICOPTER. It is a HELICOPTER. You call that thing a 'whirly-bird' one more time, I'll beat you SO bad, your sister's gonna wish she never gave birth to you. [Unused line from start of The Hotel in Dead Center campaign]
 * Crumbs? Really, Coach? That's how you swear? [Unused line from The Hotel]
 * No, Ellis, I've never seen anything like this. [Unused line from Atrium Finale, just before Survivors get into elevator]
 * Well that beats my idea, staying here and dying in the mall. [After hearing Ellis' idea at the Dead Center finale]
 * Hm. This'd be really awkward if I gave a shit about your feelings.
 * Hey Ellis, you like taters?
 * And we're gonna have to destroy this rubble pile.
 * And we're gonna have to destroy this gate.
 * Whoa! The walkway broke! [This line was likely used in the beta versions of the game where sometimes the walkways in the swamp would break]
 * THE SIGN'S OUT!
 * SOMEBODY RESTART THE SIGN! [This suggests that the Burger Tank sign was supposed to lose power during the finale]
 * Let's use the monorail to get over that fence. [An unused Dark Carnival line from early The Coaster map]
 * Somebody's in the control room!
 * Hey, let us in!
 * Open up.
 * Don't make us shoot our way into the control room.
 * Open the door now, you can drive and we'll all ride shotgun.
 * Come on, man, help us.
 * Are you going to help us out?
 * What are you, an unfriendly hippie? I thought you all had to be friendly?
 * Is there any way I could talk you into helping us?
 * Okay, maybe we can help you. Ellis here is a mechanic.
 * No one else is alive here, okay? There's gotta be some sort of deal we can work out.
 * Just name it. Anything.
 * I am going to regret saying this, but sure. What do you need?
 * Okay, okay that's a start. What do you need?
 * Why don't you just call for help now?
 * Okay, we'll set off the pyrotechnics, but I'm telling you right now. I AM NOT GOING TO AIR GUITAR.
 * Okay, fine, we'll put on the finale show.
 * Okay, we'll do it. Sure.
 * Why in the hell not, yes we'll do it.
 * Wow, yeah. That's really cool. I'm sure Dusty will be honored.
 * I bet he's got a working shower in there and he isn't using it.
 * Always a stinking hippie. I swear to god, it always come back to making a stinking hippie happy.
 * I don't think we have a choice.
 * There better be gas in that tour bus.
 * For once, I wish we would have just stumbled onto some cops.
 * There's the bus!
 * There's the tour bus! Get into the garage!
 * Get to the garage!
 * He kept his word! Let's go!
 * Into the garage!
 * Garage is open!
 * Just go, just go, he isn't coming with us.
 * Goodbye, my hippie friend!
 * Goodbye, Mr. Hippie!
 * We can jump down the elevator shaft!
 * Down this shaft!
 * Ellis, you're carrying, like, ten different guns!
 * ASS! Haaaaaaaaaaa!!!