Coach/Quotes

A list of Coach's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

Intro

 * [Reading CEDA's instructons in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] [With sarcasm] "Report unusual behavior. Barricade your homes. Avoid all contact with infected individuals. Wait for official instructions. Hah! Wait my ass!"
 * Ellis: Kill all sons-a-bitches. That's my 'fficial instructions!


 * [ Killing an infected in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "This used to be a nice neighborhood!"
 * [ Stopping for a break at the stairs in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Who the hell...puts an evac station...up thirty flights of goddamn stairs?"
 * Nick: "Come on, Coach... Maybe the helicopter... maybe it's made of chocolate!"
 * [ Looking at the fleeing helicopters in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Aren't they supposed to be savin' our asses?"

General

 * "Alright, let's put on our game faces. They're comin'!"
 * "God dammit, I knew I shoulda lost some weight."
 * "Alright everybody, you are giving 110%."
 * "Man, this is about to get all Baghdad and shit..."
 * "That was some epic shit right there."

Commands
These are derived from the PC commands when using the Z, X, or C keys.

Yes

 * "Fo' sure."
 * "Sho sho."
 * "Yes."
 * "Yeah."
 * "Know that's right."
 * "Positively."

Unused

 * "Yeah. Sho you right."
 * "That's what's up, baby."

No

 * "No."
 * "No!"
 * "N-O."
 * "Shit no!"
 * "Oh hell no."
 * "Excuse me?"
 * "No thank you."
 * "Nope."
 * "Uh uh."
 * "Ain't gonna happen."
 * "Hell no."
 * "You crazy?"
 * (To Ellis) "Ahhh hell no, boy."
 * (To Rochelle) "Nahh, girl. Mn. Mnnn."

Look

 * "Check this shit out!"
 * "Look at this."
 * "What do y'all make of this?"
 * "Look!"
 * "Over there!"

Argh

 * "Damn!"
 * "Goddammit!"
 * "What the f-"
 * "Ngahhhh!"
 * "Oh, shit."

Unused

 * "Man, this is about to get all Baghdad and shit..."
 * "Oh hell, this about to get bad."
 * "Hell no."
 * "Shiiit."
 * "Bullshit."
 * "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle."
 * "Goddamn!"
 * "Son of a bitch."

Taunt

 * "Ahhhhh! HAHAHA! Oh hell yeah!"
 * (Laughs) "Goddamn right!"
 * "How'd ya like me now, hmph!"

Follow Me

 * "C'mon let's go damnit!"

Lead the Way

 * "C'mon let's go!"

Ready

 * "Good to go."

Thank you

 * "Thanks."

Good Job

 * "Nice."
 * "Nice work."
 * "Allright, doin' good."
 * (laughter) "Burn that shit!"
 * "Way to go!"
 * "Allright, allright, not bad, not bad!"
 * "You on it!"

Negative responses

 * "You try that shit on me and you'll be wishin' your momma never met ya father."
 * "You try that shit on me and I will send you to Heaven right now damnit."

Health related

 * [ When there's only two Survivors left ] "Stay close, we're a party of two."
 * [ When low on health ] "Crazy sons' bitches messin' me up!"
 * [Various spluttering sounds]
 * [ When being revived ] "They oughta name a school after me for this shit."
 * "Alright, thanks."
 * "THANKS!"
 * [ Being revived with the Defibrillator ] "Aw hell, I'm back here."
 * "Please tell me you didn't do mouth to mouth..."
 * "Glad I didn't go toward the light."
 * [ When picking up Pills ] "I know one thing: I'm grabbin' pills!"
 * "Got the pills!"
 * "Damn right. Gonna grab everything I can."
 * [ When reviving someone ] "Keep it up. C'mon, keep it up, keep it up. You gonna make it."
 * [ When in critical need of healing ] "Come on... Put it together, man... You gonna make it through this shit..."
 * "It hurts...but it ain't nothing."
 * [ When on black and white ] "Come on man. You can make it through this shit!"
 * [ When giving pain pills ] "You make sure you use this now."
 * [ While incapacitated ] "Get your asses over here and help me!"
 * [ Reviving someone on their last down ] "Man, you look like one of those dudes in a drivin' school film. This may be it for you."
 * "I don't mean to be pickin' on ya, but ya'll look like shit." 
 * "You gonna be all - Nah, nah, I can't lie to you. You go down again, and that's it."
 * [ When healing another Survivor ] "Hold still. I'mma heal yo ass!"
 * "I hope this makes you feel better. Ain't sure what I'm doin'."
 * "Stop squirming, I'm gonna heal ya."
 * [ When picking up Rochelle shortly after she already went down ] "AGAIN!?"
 * Rochelle: [In a weak and breaking voice] "Again..."
 * [ Rochelle dies leaving Coach alone ] "Ahh no, baby girl, now I'm all alone."
 * [ Ellis dies ] "Goodbye Ellis, you'll be missed."
 * "I'll miss your goofy ass."
 * "Bye Ellis."
 * [ While healing himself ] "Shit, I need to heal my ass."
 * "Healing."
 * "Cover me for a sec, I gotta heal."
 * [ When low on health and Ellis is telling a story ] "WE'RE NOT GONNA SET UP CAMP FOR YOU!"
 * [ Inside the Rescue Closet ] "Need some help! Can't get myself out of here!"
 * [ When hanging off a ledge ] "Dammit, I knew I shoulda' lost weight!"
 * [ When taking Pills ] "That'll keep it tight!"
 * [ When taking Pills ] "That'll keep it tight!"

Weapon related

 * [ When he picks some incendiary ammo ] "Boo-yeah!"
 * "Lets burn some shit UP!"
 * [ When deploying incendiary ammo ] "Everyone, grab some incenderary ammo!"
 * "Deploying Fire bullets!"
 * [ When he is going to throw a Molotov or a pipe bomb ] "Fire in the hoooole!"
 * "Gr'naade!"
 * " All right now, let's blow some shit up."
 * [ Reloading after taking heavy damage ] "Re-goddamn-loading!"
 * "I tell ya, it's gonna be raining zombie pieces."
 * "Hey boy. Pow! Some bitches gonna get sniped."
 * [ After picking up a magnum ] "This here will mess some shit up!"


 * [ After picking up a hunting rifle ] "I'mma smoke a Smoker with this thing."
 * [ Picking up a cricket bat ] "I'm gonna paddle the shit outta something."
 * [ After picking up a shotgun] "This shotgun'll work!"

Infected related

 * ===Tank===


 * [ Upon spotting a Tank ] 


 * "I'm gonna beat that Tank's ass!"
 * "Ohhh shit! Tank!"
 * "SHOOT THAT BIG MUTHA!"
 * "Holy shit, what is that?!"
 * "Holy shit! What is that?! Some sorta...super-ass zombie!?"
 * [ Upon being attacked by a Tank while incapacitated ]
 * "In case you all didn't see it, I got a Tank on me!"
 * "Can't you see this thing is beating the shit out of me?"
 * ===Smoker===


 * [When a Smoker is around ] 
 * "Sounds like one of them Smoker bitches."
 * [ When constricted ]
 * [Raspy] "Get this motherfu- [Coughs] off me!"
 * "The bitch is choking me!"
 * Nooooooo!
 * Something's got me!
 * Hey! Where am I gettin' dragged to?
 * ===Boomer===


 * [When spotting a boomer]


 * "Roly Poly!"
 * "Fat guy!"
 * "Fat thing!"
 * ===Spitter===


 * '[ When a Spitter is around ] '
 * "That fat spittin' bitch is around."
 * "I hear that fat woman."
 * "Crazy woman!"
 * [ When a Spitter is about to spit ] 
 * "Burning shit comin'!"
 * [ When hit by a Spitter ]
 * "That long-neck bitch hit me!"
 * ===Hunter===


 * [ When a Hunter is around ]
 * "Punk-ass Hunter around."
 * "Sounds like a Hunter."
 * [When pounced on by a Hunter]
 * "GET THIS OFF!"
 * ===Witch===


 * [ When a Witch is around ]
 * "Ya'll hear, get ready to toss that bitch."
 * "Quiet everybody, I hear a bitch."
 * "Quiet, y'all, I hear a witch."
 * "No lights."
 * "That cryin' girl's around here."
 * "What is that, crying?!"
 * "Rochelle, that ain't you crying, right?"
 * "I'll give her somethin' to cry about!"
 * [ When LS is clicked with reticle on Witch ]
 * "Witch!"
 * "Bitch!"
 * "I see that bitch!"
 * [ After startling the Witch ]
 * "SWEET JESUS!"
 * ===Charger===


 * [ When pummeled by a Charger ]
 * "Charger! SHOOT!"
 * "Don't stand there, kill this thing!"
 * "Charger's pounding me into the ground!"
 * "This things beating my ass!"
 * "Shoot the Charger!"
 * "This Charger's pounding me!"
 * "Shoot this damn Charger!"
 * "Goddamn, one of ya'll gotta shoot this thing!"
 * ===Jockey===


 * [When a Jockey is around]

"One of those leapin'-on-your-back bitches is around." "I hear one of those Jockeys. If I see it, I'm gonna shoot the shit out of it!"
 * "Skittish One!"
 * "Little freak!"
 * "One of those jockey around, when I see it, I will shoot the shit out of it!"
 * [ When a Jockey is riding him ]
 * "Ellis, is that you? What the hell!?"
 * "Ellis, is that you on my back!?"
 * "It ain't right for a man to be ridden like that."
 * "Oh lord no, Jockey on me!"
 * "Hey! In case you didn't see it, I got a Jockey on my back!"
 * ==Uncommon Infected==
 * ===Jimmy Gibbs Jr.===
 * [ When seeing Jimmy Gibbs Jr.]


 * "Heyyy! Jimmy Gibbs!"
 * "Forgive us, Jimmy, but we need your car."
 * "Sorry about this, Mr. Gibbs!"
 * ===Riot Infected===
 * [ When seeing a Riot Infected ] 
 * "That zombie's got armor! I want armor!"
 * "That dang zombie is bulletproof!"
 * ===Hazmat Infected===


 * "What's with those suits?"
 * ===Clown Infected===
 * ===Mud Men===

The Hotel
[ Intro ]
 * Coach: "HEYYY! COME BACK! COME BACK! -ahh, he ain't comin' back."
 * Ellis: "That chopper looks like it's headin over to the evac station at the mall."
 * Coach: "Gotta agree. Let's follow them to the mall."
 * Nick: "Goddamn it they left us!"
 * Coach: "Hey! There's still people on the roof! Get BACK HERE!"
 * Ellis: "Do you think they saw us?"
 * Nick: "They saw us all right, and they're not coming back."
 * Coach: "Looked like it was headin' to the mall across town."

[ Unused ]
 * "Okay, nobody panic. I live around here-and that chopper looks like it's headin' to the mall. It ain't far, I can take you there."
 * "There's a mall got turned into an evac station not too far from here. I'll bet that chopper's headin' there."
 * "Aw, heck, the rescue chopper's leavin'!"
 * "Everybody calm down. I live around here, and that chopper looks like it's headin' to the mall. It ain't far-I'll take you there."
 * "Dollars to donuts, that chopper's headin' to the mall across town."
 * "Looks like it's headin' to the mall. Maybe they're still evacuatin' people there."
 * "Don't worry, they're heading to the mall, we can catch them there."
 * Nick: "Hey, come back! I'm here! There's still someone down here!"
 * Coach: "There are three other people here, son."
 * Nick: "Oh, good. You can count. I bet they'll come back now."

[ Grabbing a weapon ]
 * "We better grab a weapon. Might need to defend ourselves."
 * "I'm not a violent man. But I ain't stupid neither. Let's grab some weapons."
 * "Arm up. I don't have a good feeling about this."
 * "Grab whatever you can find to hit something with."
 * "If everyone's good with it, we should stick together."
 * "I don't like the sounds comin' from downstairs."

[ First encountering the Infected ]
 * "Jumpin' Jehosaphat! What are these things?"
 * "Y'all know what the hell these things are?"
 * "It's them or us."

[ Unused ]
 * "Damn. Sweet Georgia Brown..."
 * "Sweet Georgia Brown..."
 * "Sweet Hosanna..."
 * "These things move like greased lightning!"
 * "Man, I ain't ever killed nothin' before."
 * "This don't feel right."

[ Looking at the CEDA map ]
 * "Look at that map. We need to get ourselves to New Orleans."
 * "Would you look at this map. Folks, I think N'awlins is the last city standing in the country."
 * "We need to get to New Orleans."
 * "Would you look at this. Folks, I think N'awlins is the last city standing."
 * "Man, look at this map. We're all that's left."

[ Unused ]
 * Coach: "Man, look at this map. We're all that's left."
 * Nick: "So that's why I'm feeling so goddamn lucky."
 * Coach: "You're tirin' me real fast, son."
 * Coach: "Girl, you in news - you make any sense of this?"
 * Rochelle: "Yeah, yeah I can make sense of this. We are screwed."

[ Unused scene where the survivors probably saw a caged Tank ]
 * "Oh man, look at that thing in there."
 * "How they hell did they capture this thing already?"

[ Looking at the first elevators ]
 * "Elevator's out!"
 * "Let's get to the stairs."

[ Unused ]
 * Coach: "Oh, crumbs! Elevator's out."
 * Nick: "Crumbs? Really, Coach? That's how you swear?"

[ Fire spreading ]
 * "We can get around the fire out here."
 * "We can walk along the ledge!"
 * "Let's try the ledge!"

[ Unused ]
 * Coach: "Man, it don't feel right breakin' property like this."
 * Nick: "I LOVE doing that." / "I will never get tired of that."

[ Grabbing a gun ]
 * "This'll help."
 * "Think the zombies mind if I take one of their guns?"
 * "Mm-hmm."
 * "That's better."
 * "Now I ain't effin' around!"
 * "I have NEVER been so happy to see a gun."
 * "If they had guns, they knew this was gonna get bad."
 * "Look at this, they knew damn well this was gonna get bad."
 * "Now we're talking."
 * "This gun DOES make it easier."
 * "THAT levels the playin' field."
 * "That's more like it."

[ "Search these rooms." ]
 * "Search these rooms. Might be something we can use."

[ Seeing the elevator ]
 * "This elevator's still on!"
 * "Hey, this elevator's still on!"
 * "Thank Jesus, this one's still on. I ain't walkin' down thirty flights of stairs."
 * "I don't think you're supposed to use an elevator when the building's on fire."
 * "You think that rule still applies if there's zombies in the building?"

[ Getting in the elevator ]
 * "Hit the button before this turns into a bad idea."
 * "Everybody into the elevator!"
 * "Get in the elevator!"
 * "Somebody push the button!"

[ Inside the elevator ]
 * Ellis: "Holy shit! This is some kind of nightmare. Goddamn Zombie Apocalypse and shit. Shit, shit, shit. What in the hell are we going to do?"
 * Coach: "Settle down, son. We're going to be okay. What's your name?"
 * Ellis: "Ellis, my name is Ellis."
 * Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
 * Nick: "Name's Nick. But don't worry about learning it, 'cause I ain't sticking around long."
 * Coach: "Let's stay together for a little while longer at least. Okay, Nick?"
 * Ellis: "Holy shit! This is some kind of nightmare. Goddamn Zombie Apocalypse and shit. Shit, shit, shit. What in the hell are we going to do?"
 * Coach: "Settle down, son. We're going to be okay. What's your name?"
 * Ellis: "Ellis, my name is Ellis."
 * Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
 * Nick: "You did good out there, Rochelle."
 * Nick: "Nick, name's Nick. You all did good. What's your names?"
 * Coach: "People just call me Coach."
 * Rochelle: "My name's Rochelle. You?"
 * Ellis: "My name is Ellis, but some people call me El. I really prefer Ellis 'cause El kinda sounds like a girl's name. But if you prefer to call me El I guess you can."
 * Nick: "Name's Nick. Anyone get bit? Isn't that how this works?"
 * Coach: "No, I'm good. My friends call me Coach. I guess y'all can do the same."
 * Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
 * Ellis: "Ellis. Pleasure to meet you, Rochelle."

[ If Ellis is dead ]
 * Coach: "People call me Coach, what's your name?"
 * Nick: "Name's Nick. Hey, what's your name?"
 * Rochelle: "Rochelle. Who'd we lose? I think it was Ellis."
 * Coach: "Little man, we are goin' to miss you."

[ If Nick is dead ]
 * Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
 * Coach: "People just call me Coach."
 * Ellis: "Folks call me Ellis. I run an auto shop around here. Instead of evacuatin', I armored up a truck to drive myself out of here. Built that thing to be zombie proof. Turns out it was only ninety-nine percent zombie proof. The last one percent tore that truck to shit."
 * Coach: "Boy, you are wearin' me out."
 * Rochelle: "I think it was Nick."

[ If Rochelle is dead ]
 * Nick: "There's blood on me, but it ain't mine. Name's Nick. Hey, what's your name?"
 * Ellis: "Ellis, my name is Ellis."
 * Coach: "People just call me Coach. Who'd we lose?"
 * Nick: "I think she just said it was Rochelle."

[ Unused ]
 * "So. Pleased to meet you. You can call me Coach. What's your name?"
 * "My name's Coach. I don't like bein' here any more than you do-but if we gotta fight, we might as well fight together."
 * "My name's Coach. And I know how to shoot a gun."
 * "People call me Coach. And I live here."
 * "There we go. Most people call me Coach. And we're gonna be okay. Just gotta keep our heads."
 * "Everyone just calls me Coach."
 * "No, I'm good. You?"
 * "We are not off to a good start."
 * "I think it was Ellis."
 * "I think it was Nick."
 * "I think she said it was Rochelle. Poor girl."
 * "I thought your name was Ellis."
 * "We gotta work together. We can't lose anyone else. My name's Coach. What you folks call yourselves?"
 * "I don't think so."
 * "Coach'll work."

[ Elevator stopped ]
 * "Get ready..."
 * "All right, enough chat. Get ready."

The Streets
[ In saferoom ]
 * Coach: "There's a gun store on the way to the mall. What do you say we pay it a visit?"
 * Nick: "Sounds good to me."
 * Coach: "There's a gun store on the way to the mall. What do you say we pay it a visit?"
 * Rochelle: "Okay, this man's talking some sense. Let's get out of here."
 * Ellis: "Heh heh. Zombie apocalypse ain't all bad."
 * Ellis: "Ooh, I know a gun store we can stop at along the way. Get ourselves some real weapons."
 * Nick: "I guess living here's finally paying off."
 * Coach: "Mister... I don't think I like your attitude."
 * Nick: "Whatever."
 * Ellis: "My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once. He was shooting crows but the police were too busy tear gassing him to ask what he was doing up there. He screamed for an entire year every single time he opened his eyes. Oh, man. At first it was funny, then it just got sad, but then it got funny again. Oh, man."
 * Coach: "We ain't got time for this, Ellis."
 * Ellis: "Okay."

[ Exiting the saferoom ]
 * "Let's go find that mall."
 * "Let's go find that helicopter."

[ Unused ]
 * "There's another chopper! We're close to the mall now."

[ Looking at a sign ]
 * "Mall's that way! Let's move!"
 * "Mall's that way! Just keep followin' the signs!"
 * "We're headin' the right way to the mall."
 * "Stay with me! That mall's just up ahead!"
 * "Look alive! We're getting close to the mall!"

[ Seeing the bridge (unused) ]
 * "Mall's over this bridge!"
 * "Bridge to the mall's blocked! We gotta find another way."
 * "Let's try the door."

[ Crossing an empty street (unused) ]
 * "Damn. Where is everybody?"
 * Coach: "Shit. This place is deserted. It's startin' to creep me out."
 * Nick: "It's starting to creep you out?"

[ Getting close to the gun store ]
 * "That gun store's around here somewhere."
 * "We're getting close to that gun store."
 * "That gun store's just up ahead. Let's stock up and keep moving."
 * "Gun store's just down these stairs!"
 * "That gun store's around here somewhere."

[ Entering the gun store ]
 * "Paydirt!"
 * "I don't know how to shoot one, guess we're even."
 * "Haha, paydirt!"
 * "Pretty sure alla these'll kill them zombies."
 * "This here is a lot of guns."

[ Talking to Whitaker ]
 * Whitaker: "Hello there. I've barricaded myself on the roof with ample provisions. But in my haste I forgot cola. So here is my proposition. If you go find me some cola at yonder food store, I'll clear a path to the mall for you.
 * Coach: "Finally something that makes sense to me. A man and his snacks. We'll hook ya up. Just don't forget to take care of us." / "Well man-I'll get you your drinks, but you better help us." / "I hear ya, my man. I understand your need for snacks. But I just gotta be clear that if we get 'em, you are gonna help us." / "Cola and nuts? Could go for some myself. Better not be diet cola. Because that I will not do." / "I have never killed zombies on a snack run, but today is a day of firsts. If you don't mind us using your guns to do it, we're good to go." / "Nick, don't give me that look. Cola and nuts might be this man's last meal. We can't deny him that. We get him his snacks, he helps us. I'm good with it."

[ Inside the food store ]
 * "Here comes the alarm."
 * "There's the cola!"
 * "Grab the cola!"
 * "I got the cola, let's get back!"
 * "All right, I got the crazy man's cola! Let's go!"
 * "I got the cola!"
 * "Grabbin' cola!"

[ Whitaker blows up the truck ]
 * "Barrier's down! Let's move, baby!"
 * "Path clear! Let's get to that mall!"
 * "When that man says he's gonna clear a path, he clears a path!"
 * "That's how I used clear a path when I played college ball."
 * "Path's clear! Let's move, baby!"
 * "Path's clear! Let's get to that mall!"
 * "Enjoy those cola and nuts, man! Thanks for the guns!"

[ Getting close to the mall ]
 * "Ha-ha! There's the mall!"
 * "Hmm. This mall look busy to you?"
 * "I guess all the people must be inside."

The Mall
[ Inside saferoom ]
 * "Keep an eye out for the evac center. Also the food court. I am starving."
 * Nick: "Let's go find this evacuation center. I'm already sick of this place."
 * Coach: "CEDA's gotta be around here somewhere. Let's find this evac and get out of here."
 * Coach: "Everybody, gather 'round. Let's pray. Dear Lord. See us safely through our time of trial in this mall. And please Lord... let the food court be okay."
 * Ellis: "Amen."
 * Rochelle: "Amen." / "Lord, have mercy on Coach and spare the food court."
 * Ellis: "Man I love malls. I do. Once I was in this mall, up in Atlanta, and these guys were dancing for like money and stuff and my friend Dave and I was all..."
 * Coach: "We ain't got time for this, Ellis."
 * Ellis: "Okay."

[ Going through the mall ]
 * "If I see a zombie running at me with a sample tray, I ain't shootin' it."
 * "Evac's this way!"
 * "I hope somebody got out all right..."
 * "I hope the food court's okay."
 * "Evac's up ahead!"
 * "...poor food court never stood a chance..."
 * "Hmm. About time a store gives a man a haircut while he buys himself some pants."
 * "I could roll up a whole pizza right now, eat it sub-style."

[ Setting off the alarm ]
 * "We gotta turn off that alarm!"
 * "Keep going!"
 * "Someone turn off the alarm!"
 * "Don't stop running!"
 * (Unused) "Last one to turn off the alarm is a rotten egg!"

[ Turning alarm off ]
 * "Got it!"
 * "I can still hear it in my head, but I think the alarm is off."

[ At the deserted evacuation center ]
 * "What the hell is CEDA doing?"
 * "I won't lie. It don't look good."
 * "I hope somebody got out all right..."
 * (Unused) "Some of the refugees must've built a safe room!"

Atrium Finale
[ In saferoom ]
 * Nick: "Who the hell is Jimmy Gibbs, Jr.?"
 * Coach: "Ohh heyyy! Jimmy Gibbs!" / "I heard of Jimmy Gibbs! That man's a stock car legend."
 * Nick: "I'm getting sick of looking at this guy's face."
 * Coach: "Well, trust me - in these parts? He's as famous as... Elvis. Or the President."
 * Nick: "Really? 'Cause he looks like an asshole."
 * Coach: "Get your ass movin', Nick."
 * Rochelle: "Anybody know who the race car guy is?"
 * Ellis: "Just the best stock car racer of all time. Try reading a book sometime."
 * Rochelle: "Jimmy Gibbs Jr... Yay."
 * Ellis: "That man is the pride of Georgia. I would take a bullet for that man."
 * Coach: "Amen."
 * Ellis: "Jimmy Gibbs, Jr. is the man. I mean I don't know anybody like that, man. But there was this guy I knew, he raced dirt tracks, not stock cars but open wheeled cars you know, and he was racing once and a goat..."
 * Coach: "We ain't got time for this, Ellis."
 * Ellis: "Okay. But there was a goat."

[ Leaving the saferoom ]
 * "If we see a Jimmy Gibbs zombie, somebody else is gonna have to kill him."

[ In the Atrium ]
 * Coach: "What do y'all make of this?"
 * Nick: "We're pretty screwed."
 * Coach: "No shit."

[ Inside the elevator ]
 * Coach: "Looks like we're gonna have to save ourselves. Anybody got an idea, speak up, we're listenin'."
 * Ellis: "I might have an idea. Let's go find Jimmy Gibbs's stock car. We get that thing gassed up, we can drive out of here."
 * Coach: "Forgive us, Jimmy, but we need your car." / "Normally I wouldn't do this. But in these circumstances, I think Mr. Gibbs, Jr. ain't gonna mind." / "Normally I wouldn't agree to do this. But in these circumstances, I think Mr. Gibbs, Jr. ain't gonna mind."
 * Ellis: "Wherever he is, Coach - he's proud of you. All right, I'm bettin' the gas tank'll probably be empty. We'll have to gas it up before we haul ass."
 * Coach: "Soon as these doors open, get ready to move."
 * Coach: "Looks like we're gonna have to save ourselves. Anybody got an idea, speak up, we're listenin'." / "All right, so... Getting' evac'd ain't happening. Anybody got an idea, now's the time."
 * Ellis: "I might have an idea. Let's go find Jimmy Gibbs's stock car. We get that thing gassed up, we can drive out of here."
 * Coach: "Son, you got a deal." / "Ha HA! All the way to New Orleans! Baby, that sounds like a plan."
 * Ellis: All right, I'm bettin' the gas tank'll probably be empty. We'll have to gas it up before we haul ass." / "Now remember: They don't fill up the tanks at car shows, so we'll have to find some gas."
 * Coach: "Soon as them doors open? You run your ass off and find some gas." / "Soon as these doors open, get ready to move."

[ Starting finale ]
 * "Haul ass and get gas!"
 * "Let's go! Find a gas can!"
 * "Let's get this car gassed up!"

[ Car ready ]
 * "We're all gassed up, get to the car!"
 * "Here we come, New Orleans!"
 * "Get to the car!"
 * "Get to the car, people!"

[ Ending cutscene ]
 * "Hit it!"
 * "Sorry about this, Mr. Gibbs."
 * "Go, Ellis, go!"
 * "Woo! Thank you, Mr. Gibbs."

The Riverbank
[ Intro ]
 * Coach: "Hey, hello there! You wanna let the bridge down for us?"
 * Zoey: "Generator's out on the other side!"
 * Coach: "Y'all can't climb down there and save us a trip?"
 * Zoey: "Sorry, can't! We got wounded up here. If you can get to the other side of the bridge, we can help you can get it down."
 * Coach: "Got it. We'll holla back at you when we get there."
 * Ellis: "Well hello! Hello... Howdy. Beautiful weather, huh... we're havin'... Oh god, I'm too nervous to talk to her, one of you better do this."
 * Coach: "You been killin' zombies for the better part of two days, boy you can talk to a girl."
 * Zoey: "You are going to need to get to the other side of the bridge. We can help you there."
 * Coach: "Okay, the boy says thank you."
 * Ellis: "Coach, come on, man!"
 * Francis: "Are any of you vampires?"
 * Coach: "No. Can you lower the bridge?"
 * Francis: "Sorry, can't."
 * Coach: "Shit, okay. Yes, we are vampires? All of us are vampires?"
 * Francis: "Louis! I told you there were vampires! [Cut: Louis: "No there aren't, Francis, tell them they have to get to the other side of the bridge."] I'm not talking to any goddamn vampires."
 * Coach: "Tell me this boy ain't for real." / "Dear Lord, why'd I ever leave Savannah."

[ Looking at the historic sign ]
 * "Historic Under-the-River Tour! This could be pretty interesting!"
 * "Let's all try this under-the-river tour to get across."
 * "Sign says there's an under-the-river tour, that'll get us across."
 * "If we can't take the bridge, let's take the tunnel."
 * Rochelle: "Coach, you know anything about this under the river tour?"
 * Coach: "Yeah, it's historic." / "I don't know, goes under the river."
 * Rochelle: "Thanks Coach." / "Gee, thanks Coach." / "Uh, gee, glad I asked." / "Glad I asked." / "Good enough." / "Well, okay... Good enough."

[ Going in the gun store ]
 * "Guns in the store."
 * [ If Francis was on the bridge ] Nick: "Hold on a sec, I'm gonna go back and shoot that jackass." / "Hold on, I'm gonna go back and shoot that tattoo disaster." / "I would love to go back and shoot that vest-wearing jackass."
 * Coach: "Nick, you gotta pull yourself together."

[ At the wedding reception ]
 * "Damn. This here wedding didn't end well."
 * Coach: "Bride. Wedding. Gotta be cake around here somewhere."
 * Nick: "Coach, no time for cake." / "I'll keep an eye out for some." / "Coach, I'll keep an eye out for some. Okay, buddy?"
 * Coach: "Look, uh, anyone see the wedding cake?" / "Shhh... Does anyone see the wedding cake?" / "Anyone see the wedding cake?"
 * Ellis: "Ain't seen none, Coach, but I'll yell if I do."

[ Seeing the Witch ]
 * Nick: "Careful! I've seen a bride just like this before."
 * Coach: "Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo."
 * [ If Zoey was on the bridge ] Nick: "Ellis, maybe you should grab that dress for your new girlfriend, huh?" / "Ellis, go give the bride a kiss, it'll be good luck. Trust me." / "Hey, Ellis look, it's another angel."
 * Ellis: "Shut up Nick." / "What!??!"
 * Coach: "Come on, Nick, not the time."

[ Chased by the Witch ]
 * "Bride's chasing me!"
 * "Ugly bride's chasing me! Bride's chasing me!"
 * "Kill the bride! Kill the bride!"

[ Witch dies ]
 * Coach: "Mm, now that's a shotgun wedding."
 * Nick: "That's a good one, Coach." / "Coach! That's a good one." / "Spectacular, Coach." / "Very true." / "Well put." / "Wow, true."
 * Ellis: "Kinda feel bad killin' this witch."
 * Coach: "You got problems, boy. Deep down problems."
 * Ellis: "Whole thing makes me uncomfortable."
 * Coach: "Yeah, that shit was creeping me out."

[ Avoiding the Witch ]
 * Ellis: "Hey, Coach. Can coaches marry people?"
 * Coach: "No, Ellis."

[ When Zoey was on the bridge ]
 * Ellis: "You know what? This got me thinking... I should totally marry that girl." / "This reminds me, I should totally marry that girl." / "This wedding here? I'm takin' this as a sign."
 * Coach: "Got to keep your head on killin' zombies, Ellis."

[ Going in a tent ]
 * "Check those tents."
 * "Guns in these here tents. Damn, but no cake."

The Underground
[ In saferoom ]
 * Ellis: "Oh, I keep hoping we drive to a place where there aren't any more zombies."
 * Rochelle: "Oh, I just keep hoping I wake up every day."
 * Coach: "Man, I keep hoping we find an open Burger Tank."
 * Nick: "Whatever."
 * Coach: "All this runnin' we been doing? I bet I lost, what, five pounds."
 * Rochelle: "Well, anybody who survives this shit is gonna be in great shape."
 * Coach: "Man, I just realized with all this runnin', climbin' and fightin', I ain't even had time to eat."
 * Rochelle: "You're looking good, Coach."
 * Rochelle: "We need to get motivated. How we gonna get motivated... Coach. We make it to New Orleans, there's a Cheeseburger museum."
 * Coach: "Oh. In my heart, I'm there already."
 * Rochelle: "Hey, Ellis? I hear there's a Stock Car museum in New Orleans."
 * Ellis: "Get outta here! All right!"
 * Rochelle: "Nick, there's a-"
 * Nick: "Yeah, no, I'm good, I'm good."
 * Coach: "City of Rayford! They used to have a boiled peanut festival here. Good memories."
 * Rochelle: "I have a bunch of good memories, too... of never once going to a boiled peanut festival." / Nick: "Boiled nuts? Christ. What is wrong with you Southerners?" / "Boiled nuts? Coach, come on, what is wrong with you Southerners?"
 * Coach: "Nick, tell me you ain't looking forward to this under-the-river tour."
 * Nick: "I am not looking forward to this under the river tour."
 * Coach: "Man, Nick, you got a find a way to cheer your ass up. We ain't got much to look forward to."
 * Nick: "Coach, it's a hole. Oh no, excuse me, an historic hole. Under a river."
 * Coach: "Nick, tell me you ain't looking forward to this under-the-river tour."
 * Nick: "I am not looking forward to this under the river tour."
 * Coach: "Man, Nick, you got a find a way to cheer your ass up. We ain't got much to look forward to."
 * Nick: "Okay, good point. You know what? I am looking forward to punching that grease bag biker in the mouth."
 * Coach: "There you go, Nick. Stay positive." / "There you go, Nick. Stay positive. Maybe you'll knock all his teeth out."
 * Nick: "So this under-the-river tour, who wants to bet that is going to be filthy."
 * Coach: "Oh, come on, you aren't afraid of a little dirt are you?"
 * Nick: "A germ just wiped out the whole planet, Coach. So yes."
 * Nick: "So we find this historic section. Go under the river. And then we kick that biker dude's ass, right?"
 * Coach: "Nick. Son. I think we got bigger problems."
 * Coach: "I heard all about this under-the-river tour, supposed to be pretty damn good. Real educational."
 * Nick: "Okay, let me get this straight. It's a tunnel... under the river. Right?"
 * Coach: "You damn right. Under a river."
 * Nick: "And this is supposed to teach me about what exactly?"
 * Coach: "Uh, historical shit. Man, how am I supposed to know? I ain't been there yet."
 * Ellis: "You know, we've been gone for a while, you think the car is okay?"
 * Coach: "Ellis, you do know that eventually we're gonna have to leave that car behind. Right?"
 * Ellis: "Yeah, yeah, that's not going to happen."
 * Coach: "Boy, the Military ain't exactly going to strap it to the bottom of a helicopter."
 * Ellis: "Okay, Coach. Whatever you say."
 * Coach: "I bet I'm losin' some serious weight! Two more days, I'll be takin' my belt in a notch."
 * Ellis: "Oh dude, this reminds me of that time, my buddy Keith? He went on a diet, on account of what his doctor sayin' he had to go on a diet, or he'd die? So they told him he could drink nothin' but them little diet shakes, but those are like five bucks a can, I'll make my own damn smoothies!' He got himself a blender, all sorts of salad shit, kiwis, limes, some tequila, a big can of that protein powder the bodybuilders use..."
 * Rochelle: "Did any of this actually work?"
 * Ellis: "Naw, he gained like thirty pounds. But he invented a shitload of tasty drinks. I was always partial to Keith's Kiwi Kamikaze."
 * [ If Zoey was on the bridge ] Ellis: "Ah man, that Zoey will never go for a man like me."
 * Rochelle: "Ellis, ask yourself, what would Keith do?"
 * Ellis: "Oh, Ro, man, that reminds me of this..."
 * Coach: "Girl! What are you doing?"
 * Rochelle: "Ah! I wasn't thinking."
 * Coach: "Listen, if you let your guard down for one minute... we all pay the price."

[ Looking at the tattoos ]
 * "I got that one, that one... Hell, I got most of these."
 * "Shit, it's all south of the border."
 * "Coach's got a lot of real estate."
 * "Hey, Coach keeps his secrets."

[ Starting the jukebox ]
 * "This jukebox is all right."
 * "Oh shit, this thing is still on!"

[ Seeing the Midnight Riders bus ]
 * "Man, I think I just saw... nah."
 * "I must be dreaming."

[ Seeing the suitcase full of pistols and money ]
 * [singing] "'...a suitcase full of pistols and mon-nay!'"

[ Walking over the plank  ]
 * "Over this plank."
 * "Hurry up and get your asses over this plank."
 * "Oh shit, do not look down."
 * "Easy now, don't be playin' on this board."

[ Approaching the Jazz Club ]
 * "Into the Jazz Club."
 * "Tour's in the Jazz Club."

[ Going in the underground ]
 * "Here we go, under the river."

[ Walking on the walkway ]
 * "Keep to the walkway."
 * "Follow the walkway."
 * "Shit, they must have locked up all the history to keep it safe."
 * Coach: "Man, this is a real..."
 * Nick: "Shithole?"
 * Coach: "Yeah. It's a shithole."
 * Nick: "Toldja."
 * Ellis: "Nick! We all see this tour's got some problems, no sense picking on Coach."
 * Coach: "Man, this is a real..."
 * Rochelle: "Shithole? Sorry Coach."
 * Coach: "Man, look at all this, uh... uh... Aw, man, this tour is bullshit."
 * Nick: "Yeah. Tunnels. You're right, Coach, you're so right. History is coming alive."
 * Coach: "Aw, shut up, Nick."

[ Seeing "Phase 2" ]
 * "Tour's over? Shit."
 * "Tour's over? Bullshit."
 * "Phase two coming in 2010? Shit, phase one ain't done."
 * "Phase two my ass."

[ Jumping in the water ]
 * "Together, people."
 * "Don't get left behind."

[ In the water ]
 * "Don't stop, people!"
 * "Come on now, let's just get through this shit."
 * "All right, let's keep moving. Unless Nick wants to stop and take a bath."
 * "Hey Nick, try and keep your head above water."
 * "Don't trip, Nick." [laughs]
 * Nick: "Here's a pleasant thought: Any one of us gets pounced, we are going to be fully submerged in shit water."
 * Coach: "Gotta keep your head above water, man." [laughs]
 * Nick: "It's just a storm sewer, it is just a storm sewer..."
 * Coach: "Nick, my man, face it. We are walkin' through shit."
 * Nick: "Seriously, look, I will pay any one of you a thousand dollars right now to give me a piggyback ride."
 * Coach: "Nick, if I give you a piggy back ride, will you shut up about the sewer?"
 * Ellis: "Oh man, I found a candy bar! ...Whup. False alarm."
 * Coach: "Oh, Jesus! Ellis!" / "Oh, come on! Jesus! Ellis!"
 * Ellis: "Okay if anybody needs a bathroom break, now'd be a good time."
 * Coach: "Hey, hold on there, boy, let me get out of the water!"

[ Opening the bridge (originally, the survivors had to push a button to raise a bridge (like in the second chapter of Death Toll) which eventually collapsed, and had later to use another bridge) ]
 * "Let's raise this bridge."
 * "That button will raise the lift."
 * "Shit, we gotta hit that button."
 * "This looks like the only way."
 * "Ahh come on, elevator!"
 * "That is some slow ass shit."
 * "Lift is coming!"
 * "All right, the lift is coming, come on... come on..."
 * "Lift coming!"
 * "This one better work."
 * "Second time better be the charm."
 * "Oh damn, another one of these things?"
 * "Ellis, don't break it this time."
 * "Bridge here, let's go!"
 * "Come on, let's get out of this sewer!"
 * "Come on, people, don't stand around, let's go!"

[ Looking for a ladder ]
 * "There's gotta be a ladder here somewhere."
 * "Let's find ourselves a ladder."
 * "Holler if you see a ladder."
 * "We need to get on the catwalks."
 * "We need to get out of this shit."
 * "Keep running, that alarm ain't goin' off."
 * "That alarm is gonna keep goin'!"

[ Seeing a ladder ]
 * "A ladder!"
 * "Ladder!"
 * "Thank you, Jesus, a ladder!"
 * "Up that ladder!"
 * "Let's get out of the water."
 * "Everybody up there!"
 * "All right, out of the water."

[ Going back in the water ]
 * "Damn, back in the water, people."
 * "Let's just get this over with."
 * "Can't stay up here all day y'all."
 * "One more time!"
 * "Ah hell, more water."
 * "Ah hell, back in the water!"

The Port
[ In saferoom ]
 * [If Francis was on the bridge] Coach: "I don't trust that biker. He's probably long gone by now."
 * Ellis: "Nah man, he seemed like a good guy."
 * Coach: "Minute we left, bet ya he stole the Jimmy Gibbs Jr."
 * Ellis: "He is a dead man. He is a dead man. Folks, we got a new goal. New Orleans is gonna have to wait. We are going to have to hunt that biker man down." / "I will kill him. I will kill him. Folks, we got a new goal. New Orleans is gonna have to wait. We are going to have to hunt that biker man down."
 * Rochelle: "Great. Thanks, Coach." / "Thanks, Coach."
 * Nick: "I don't trust that biker. He better still be here."
 * Rochelle: "He'll be there."
 * Nick: "You know him that well?"
 * Rochelle: "I just have a good feeling." / "It's a woman thing; I just have a good feeling."
 * Nick: "You got a good feeling about every scumbag that lives on a bridge?
 * Coach: "Sometimes you just gotta have faith, Nick."
 * [If Zoey was on the bridge] Coach: "Ellis. It's showtime, buddy."
 * Ellis: "How do I look?" / "How do I look, man?"
 * Nick: "Like you've been crawling through a sewer."
 * Ellis: "You got a turd on your shoulder, Nick."
 * Nick: "I'm not even going to look." / "I'm not even going to look, Ellis."
 * Coach: "Hey, Ellis, you ready to meet that Zoey girl again?" [laughs]
 * Ellis: "Man, I don't know, what do you think? With the hat or without it?"
 * Rochelle: "Just be your own sweet self, Ellis." / "You're great. Just be your own sweet self, Ellis."
 * Nick: "Don't listen to her. You got five minutes to get this done, Ellis. It is do or die time, buddy."
 * Rochelle: "I just think Nick is jealous." / "Nick is just jealous."

[ Meeting the survivors again ]
 * Coach: "Hey! So how do we lower this bridge?"
 * Francis: "I've been thinking about this. We lost a good man getting this goddamn thing up. I'm not real happy about putting it back down again."
 * Coach: "So what, you gonna live up here?"
 * Francis: "Look, brother. We lost a good man. Another one is hurt. We can't get that generator filled up until Louis is back on his feet."
 * Louis: "Francis! We talked about this. We're gonna help them. We will lower the bridge, but you gotta fill up the generator for us to lower it. That helps us both."
 * Coach: "Sounds fair."
 * Louis: "Hey, you made it!"
 * Coach: "Damn right. We're getting good at killing these things."
 * Louis: "Where you guys headin?"
 * Coach: "New Orleans, want to come with us?"
 * Louis: "Nah, better not. We've had enough with the military."
 * Coach: "So how we gonna get this bridge down?"
 * Louis: "Take that elevator down, fill up the generator, we'll take care of the rest."
 * Louis: "You made it! Now you just need to fill that generator and we can raise the bridge! We can even help cover you from up here."
 * Coach: "Hey listen, thanks for the help. And when the bridge is down, you're more than welcome to come with us."
 * Louis: "I don't think that would work."
 * Coach: "Hell, we can even leave Ellis behind to make room for y'all."
 * Ellis: "Hey!" / "Hey, what?!"
 * Louis: "Thanks! Sounds good but I think we're gonna stay on our own."
 * Coach: "All right, understood. Y'all keep safe now."

[ Going down the elevator ]
 * "No messin' around, let's get these cans."
 * "We do this and get back to the car."
 * "Let's fill that generator and then get back to the car."
 * "All right, look, no messin' around, let's get these cans."
 * Ellis: "Man, I'm gonna kill so many zombies she's gonna have to love me." / "I'm gonna kill a Tank in her honor. Ooh, and then I'm gonna name it after her."
 * Coach: "Ellis. Keep your mind on the cans not the girl."

[ When a survivor drops supplies ]
 * "Thanks for sharing!"
 * "Thanks my man."
 * "Man, you guys are all right."
 * "Hey, thanks for the supplies."
 * "We owe you one."
 * "Maybe two!"

[ After Louis makes a kill ]
 * "All right Louis, keep tearing 'em up!"
 * "Louis in the house!"

[ After Francis makes a kill ]
 * "Thanks, Francis!"
 * "Nice shot, Francis!"

[ After Zoey makes a kill ]
 * "Go Zoey!"
 * "Keep it up, Zoey!"

[ After a survivor drops the last gas can ]
 * "You three keep safe."
 * "We owe you."
 * "You good? See y'all!"
 * "Well all right. We're gonna remember y'all."

[ Running across the bridge ]
 * "Get to the car!"
 * "Let's get to the car!"
 * "Bridge is down, let's go!"
 * "Come on people, GET TO THE CAR! GET TO THE CAR!"
 * "We gotta run, GO!"

[ Coach hears about one of the survivors's death (cut) ]
 * Francis: "There's not many of us left, brother." / Louis: "I hope you don't mind if we stay on our own."
 * Coach: "Sorry to hear it." / "Damn, I think we're all losin' people." / "Shit. Not a lot of good news goin' round these days."

The Highway
[ Intro ]
 * Ellis: "Sorry, folks. This car's capable of miracles, but it can't drive over twenty miles of parked cars. I think we're walkin'."
 * Coach: "Hell, it got us this far. We'll find another way to N'awlins."
 * Nick: "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, guys - but unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we AIN'T drivin' through this."
 * Ellis: "Sorry, guys. Guess it wasn't such a hot idea after all."
 * Coach: "Hell, it got us this far. We'll find another way to N'awlins."
 * (Cut) "Ellis, that was some good driving."
 * (Cut) "But the roads blocked now."
 * (Cut) "All right, let's get back on foot."
 * (Cut) "Let's get back on foot."
 * (Cut) "Ain't no way to drive around this mess, let's walk it."

[ Seeing the Whispering Oaks advertisement ]
 * Ellis: "Hey, look at this here."
 * Coach: "Hey, Whisperin' Oaks! Shit, I used to go there when I was a kid!"
 * Nick: "Oh good. Now we can die there as adults."

[ Going through the cars ]
 * Nick: / Rochelle: "These abandoned cars go on for miles."
 * Coach: "Maybe they left 'em when they got rescued."
 * Nick: "That's... one theory."

[ Walking down the offramp ]
 * "Down this offramp!"
 * "All right, take the off ramp."
 * (Cut) "Down here."
 * (Cut) "Head down this way."

[ Seeing the search lights ]
 * Coach: "Look, searchlights! I bet that's Whisperin' Oaks." / "There it is! Whisperin' Oaks! Man, I had some times there." / "There she is! Whispering Oaks!"
 * Nick: "We'll head towards the searchlights. If there's an evac, it'll be there."
 * Coach: "Look, searchlights! Might be survivors there, we should check it out."
 * Nick: "Or maybe a corpse fell on the searchlight button. Still, worth checking out."
 * Rochelle: "You guys see those searchlights? I say we head there." / Nick: "Searchlights over there. Could be a way out."
 * Coach: "That there's Whispering Oaks." / "That there's Whispering Oaks amusement park."
 * (Cut) "Look at those lights to the left! They're having a party!"
 * (Cut) "Well, might as well head to those light and join the party."
 * (Cut) "Ah hell, those lights are an amusement park!"
 * (Cut) "Jesus Christ, that's a Ferris wheel lit up."
 * (Cut) "Let's head to the amusement park, ain't like we have anywhere else to go."
 * (Cut) "I don't think zombies turned those lights on."
 * (Cut) Coach: "Well now, if we're picking directions, I say head towards the spinning lights."
 * Nick: "Great, following shiny lights in the sky, we're like freaking cats and a laser pointer."
 * Coach: "One place is as good as the next when you're dying." / "One place is as good as the next when you're dead." / "I don't think zombies turned those lights on."

[ Arriving at the motel ]
 * "Highway's blocked! Let's check out the motel!"
 * "Whispering Oaks motel? Sheeet... I know where we are."
 * (Cut) "We gotta figure a way around this motel."

[ Searching the rooms ]
 * "Check the rooms. Might be somethin' useful."

[ Seeing the gully ]
 * "Watch that first step, baby."
 * "Whoa... Take it slow down this hill. Looks like a pretty big drop."
 * "Watch yourself on this hill..."
 * (Cut) "Bridge is out."
 * (Cut) "We gotta cross the valley."

[ At the bottom ]
 * "It's not funny. You coulda really hurt yours... Naw, it's funny."
 * Ellis: "Coach, you're breathin' a little hard, you okay?"
 * Coach: "Damn, I am too old for this shit." / "Ain't used to this."
 * Ellis: "Anybody wanna go back up and do that again?"
 * Coach: "Nah, hell no." / "Ellis, you a crazy man." / "You a crazy man Ellis."

[ Seeing dead bodies in the river ]
 * (Cut) "We ain't the only ones that thought to take this short-cut"
 * (Cut) "Looks like people were heading towards Whispering Oaks."

[ Arriving at the entrance of the park ]
 * "There she is! Whispering Oaks!"
 * (Cut) "Hm. Lights on, but nobody's home."
 * (Cut) "Well nobody but the zombies."

The Fairgrounds
[ In the saferoom ]
 * Ellis: "Hey, check it out man! That's The Midnight Riders!" / Coach: "Hey, the Midnight Riders! I used to love that band. Best pyrotechnics in the business." / "Hey! The Midnight Riders!"
 * Nick: "Never heard of 'em. They any good?"
 * (Ellis: "Uh, yeah, they're a pretty big deal, all right.")
 * Coach: "Hell yes! I got all their albums. Even their new stuff that ain't no good. Best light show in the business, though." / (Cut) "Hell yes! I got all their albums. Even their new stuff that ain't no good. Best backup singers you ever want to hear."
 * Ellis: "I saw 'em in '07. Front row center. Lost my eyebrows." / "I'll back you up on that. Hell of a show." / "I heard when they play, you can see the show from space." / "I heard they gotta cancel the concert if there's a breeze, cause any town downwind'll catch on fire."
 * Coach: "Hey, the Midnight Riders! I used to love that band. Best pyrotechnics in the business."
 * Ellis: "I'll back you up on that. Hell of a show."
 * (Cut) Coach: [singing] "...Gotta reach for the top, stay on that mountain... dunh-nuh-NAH-nuh-NAH-nha!"
 * Ellis: "Stay on That Mountain! First single off their Ten Past Midnight album. I love that song."
 * Rochelle: ""Stay on that mountain?" That doesn't sound like very good advice."
 * (Cut) Coach: [singing] "...Every lady's crazy when her daddy's not around... dunh-nuh-NAH-nuh-NAH-nha!"
 * Ellis: "Every Lady's Crazy! Never been recorded, only played live. You know the Riders, Coach."
 * Rochelle: "Every lady present's getting a headache."
 * (Cut) Coach: "Hey! The Midnight Riders!"
 * Rochelle: ""The Midnight Riders". So... they ride midnight? Or they ride at midnight? I hate classic rock." / "I hate classic rock." / "Who?" / "Midnight Riders? Is this one of those old guy bands?"
 * Coach: "You kiddin' me? They were... were... nah, not really. They had one good song."

[ Exiting the saferoom ]
 * "Man, I loved this place as a kid."
 * (Cut) "We'll head towards the searchlights. If there's an evac, it'll be there."
 * (Cut) "There's still searchlights on. I'd say that's a good sign."
 * (Cut) "Look, let's just find the corndog stand and hold out there."

[ Entering the lady's restroom ]
 * (Cut) Rochelle: "Umm, guys, this is the lady's room."
 * Coach: "Oh. Ahh sorry, Ro." / "Uh, sorry, Ro."

[ Walking between the tents ]
 * "Elephant ears... funnel cakes... corn dogs... Man, these signs are bringin' back some memories."
 * "All these signs are making me hungry."
 * (Cut) "Oh, baby, I could destroy some kettle corn right now."

[ Seeing a Cotton Candy stall ]
 * Coach: "Cotton Candy. The king of foods." / "Ah yeah. Cotton Candy. The wise pharaoh of food. Sittin' atop the food pyramid, passin' judgment on all lesser foods."
 * (Cut) Rochelle: "Coach, you're making me hungry just listening to you."

[ Entering Kiddie Land ]
 * Ellis: "Check it out! Kiddie Land!"
 * Coach: "Sometimes it feels like we're babysitting, doesn't it?"
 * Rochelle: "He is making the best of a bad situation." / Nick: "He's like a five year old. With guns. And a comprehensive grasp of every swear word in the English language."

[ Seeing Li'l Peanut in Kiddie Land ']
 * "I was a li'l peanut riding these. This here was my favorite."
 * (Cut) "That peanut man's got wild, crazy eyes."
 * (Cut) Coach: "That peanut's got crazy eyes. They follow you."
 * Rochelle: "Look at that, its eyes follow you."
 * (Cut) Coach: "I don't like that peanut." / "I do not like that little peanut." / "I have never liked that peanut."
 * Ellis: "Man, how can you not like Li'l Peanut? I love this little guy!" / "You guys are jaded. I used to have his toys when I was bite-sized. That little stuffed peanut was the best friend a boy could have."

[ Looking at a Peach Cobbler sign ]
 * Coach: "Mmmhmm. Peach cobbler."
 * (Cut) Rochelle: "You can keep the cobbler. All I want is more guns."

[ Walking around Kiddie Land ]
 * "I find a Burger Tank in this place? I'm-a be a one-man cheeseburger apocalypse."
 * (Cut) Ellis: "Well, Coach? I aim to let you."
 * (Cut) Coach: "Once the world goes back to normal? I'm buyin' you guys a steak dinner."
 * Rochelle: "Coach, if we make it to New Orleans? I'm buying everyone a fully automatic sniper rifle with a laser scope and a whole box of armor-piercing rounds." / "Coach, if we make it to New Orleans? I'm buying everyone a grenade launcher."
 * (Cut) "Damn it. They can't keep a candy machine filled up around here?"

[ On top of the slide ]
 * (Cut)' "Hey, hey, man... can't go down the slide without your sack."

[ Looking at the "You must be this tall" panel ]
 * Coach: ""You must be this tall to ride." Well, least there won't be no Jockeys in there."
 * Nick: "Nope. Just lots and lots of Tanks."
 * (Cut) Coach: ""You must be this tall to ride." Sorry, Ellis. It's been real, man."
 * Ellis: "You keep it up with the height jokes, and I won't."

[ Approching the carousel ]
 * Coach: "All right, this is gonna open the gate and what the hell else?"
 * Nick: "You know what? Somehow I think it will activate everything else around here."

[ Running while the carousel is working ]
 * (Cut) "Ahh damn, the merry-go-round started!"
 * (Cut) "Shit. That thing's makin' a racket!"
 * (Cut) "Turn it off, turn the damn thing off!"

[ Entering the Tunnel of Love ]
 * Coach: "There's the saferoom! Everybody in the Tunnel of Love!" / "Get your ass in the Tunnel of Love!" / "Get in the Tunnel of Love!"
 * Nick: "Tunnel of love? Jesus Christ."
 * (Cut) "Oh yeah... Tunnel of Love."
 * (Cut) "Come on, get into the Tunnel of Love."

The Coaster
[ In saferoom ]
 * Coach: "Well, looks like we're going through the Tunnel of Love, people. Stay close to me."
 * Nick: "I think we should clarify what constitutes "close"."
 * Nick: "Bringing back any memories, Coach? You, a cheeseburger, romance in the air..."
 * Coach: "Coach didn't do too bad for himself back in the day, Nick." / "Nick, I was on the football team. Coach did just fine."
 * (Cut) Rochelle: "Damn, Coach. Sounds like you used to be on a diet of cheerleaders." / (Cut) Nick: "Sorry, Coach, you know what I mean."
 * Nick: "Bringing back any memories, Coach? You, a cheeseburger, romance in the air..."
 * Coach: "How many Tunnel of Love memories you got, Nick?"
 * Nick: "Psh! Huh. Several. Easily."
 * "Well, looks like we're going through the Tunnel of Love, people. No hanky panky."

[ Exiting the saferoom ]
 * "Hey. No smoochin', y'all."

[ Going through the Tunnel of Love ]
 * Coach: "This water don't look natural..."
 * Nick: "Yeah. Don't drink it."
 * Coach: "Back in the day, I had some posters that woulda looked good in this light."

[ In one of the maintenance rooms ]
 * "Down this hole!"
 * "Down that hole!"
 * "All right, let's do this together."
 * "Someone wanna count it off?"

[ Going through the Tunnel of Love again ]
 * "Hm. Shit. First time I ever couldn't wait to get out of the Tunnel of Love."
 * "I don't remember the Tunnel of Love bein' this long. I musta had something else on my mind."

[ Seeing the helicopter ]
 * "There's that chopper again!"
 * "There goes the chopper!"

[ About to run the Screaming Oak ]
 * (Cut) Ellis: "We gotta run the coaster? Aw, man, this is gonna be cool."
 * Coach: "No, this ain't gonna be cool. You ain't right in the head boy." / "You ain't right in the head, boy."
 * (Cut) "Running the Screaming Oak... Now don't that beat all..."
 * (Cut) "We're blocked by the coaster."
 * (Cut) "We're blocked by the Screaming Oak."
 * (Cut) "The only way over is on the coaster."
 * (Cut) "This is some crazy-ass world we live in now."
 * (Cut) "Hit it."
 * (Cut) "Let's get it going."
 * (Cut) "Get ready to run, I'm hittin' it."

[ Running the Screaming Oak ]
 * "We gotta turn that alarm off!"
 * "Somebody turn off that alarm!"
 * "Just keep following the tracks and we'll get through this!"
 * "Stay on the tracks!"
 * (Cut) "That set off the alarm!"
 * (Cut) "That set off the warning system!"
 * (Cut) "Turn that shit off."
 * (Cut) "Kill that alarm."

The Barns

 * "We got to get into the stadium."
 * "There's the Peach Bowl!"
 * "I hear somethin' go on in there!"
 * "If we can get on the monorail, we can jump the fence."
 * "We need to get on the monorail."
 * "Everybody go, go, go. Onto the monorail."
 * "Into the dumpster."
 * "Rochelle, you gotta find another window, this here is the men's room."

The Concert

 * [ The beginning at the Safe House ] "Alright, heres the plan. Y'all know the Midnight Riders? They're gonna save us."
 * Ellis: "I hate to break it to ya Coach, but I don't think they're actually here."
 * Coach: "We'll set off their finale and the chopper gotta know something's up. And nobody, and I mean NOBODY has the bigger light show than the Midnight Riders."
 * Nick: "Coach, that is the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with."
 * Coach: "Alright then, everybody grab a weapon and let's move!"
 * "There's the stage."
 * "Lip-syncing old ass bitches, they got a tape back here."
 * "Well ain't this a bitch, they got a tape for their music. To think I used to like these guys."


 * Nick: "Sorry to break it to you Coach, but your heroes lip-sync. There's a tape back here labeled 'Finale'."
 * Coach: "No, they're just saving their voices for the studio, Nick. That's SMART."


 * [ When standing in front of the microphone with a guitar at the Finale ] Every lady's crazy when her daddy's not around, na na na na na na na na! Gotta reach for the top, stay on the mountain, na na na na na na na na!
 * "I forget how much I love this song!"
 * (EXTREMELY RARE) "See Nick, the Midnight Riders can save lives!"

Swamp Fever

 * [ Reading the sign at the start of The Swamp ] "No CEDA, no military, stay out..."
 * [ When ferry arrives at the Swamp Fever ] "Put it all out there."
 * [ When the fishing boat arrives in The Plantation ] "*Repeatedly blows sports whistle*"
 * [ Upon seeing the Plane Wreckage ] "Nick, you sure you didn't kill this pilot too?"
 * "Better not be any goddamn instant mud people, just add water."
 * "Nick, we're goin into a swamp filled with zombies. Y'all want me to lie to ya?"
 * "I normally stay the hell away from swamps on principle. You remember that movie with that golfer that got his hand ate by a gator? That shit's real."
 * "Ellis, it's just a boat."
 * [When entering Shanty Town] "Careful lookin' for supplies, show respect."

Milltown

 * "Look here, the gas station's right across the street. We coulda already been there and back by now. Come on."
 * "What gun bag? ...Oh, for- Tell me we didn't forget the guns!"
 * "ME? I told Nick to grab the guns!"
 * "We should be in and out here. Get the gas, get back to shore, signal Virgil with the flare gun in the gun bag. Then we just, uh... um... Aw, HELL. Tell me SOMEONE brought the GUN BAG."
 * "Next gas two miles. Hope Virgil likes waitin', 'cause it looks we're goin' for a walk."
 * "Let's head to this Ducatel diesel."
 * "Alright, quit whinin'. We just gotta hike to this Duke-atel diesel."
 * "It's startin' to rain."
 * "First the plague, now the flood. I feel like I should be buildin' an ark."
 * "That's a nasty damn wreck."
 * "Don't think we got much choice in the matter.
 * "He's good people"
 * "Don't jinx us, Nick."
 * "Shit. All these zombies should help you swallow."
 * "Man, I sure wish the Burger Tank was open."
 * "I could go for a BBQ bacon burger."
 * "And a large order of fries, and..."
 * "...an orange soda with no ice, and a..."
 * "...piece of hot apple pie."


 * "Storms come up fast, but we should make it."
 * "Let's head to the sugar mill."

The Sugar Mill

 * "I am not dying in a goddamn sugar mill."
 * "Hurry up, people. We don't wanna get stuck out here in a storm."
 * "If this rain really comes, we gonna get washed away."
 * "We already got plague. Maybe the Lord'll let us slide on the flood."
 * "A whole lotta damn Witches up in this place."
 * "All these pale-assed crazy ladies are gettin' on my last nerve."
 * "Maybe the rain's bringin' them out."
 * "What the hell do THEY got to cry about? We're the ones getting attacked."
 * "Through the cane field!"
 * "Close the door and we can bust the cans outta this locker."
 * "So we gotta get past the sugar mill."
 * "Bitches every ten feet in this goddamn place."
 * "Dang. Bitches must like sugar."
 * "Goddammit, what with all these Witches."

Mill Escape

 * "Alright, people. Everybody got a can?"
 * "Let's head back to the boat."
 * "Getting' back to the boat ain't gonna be as easy as gettin' here."
 * "I told ya these storms come up quick."

Return to Town

 * "The boat ain't far. One last push and we're outta here."
 * "Keep to high ground!"

Town Escape

 * "I have NEVER been so happy to see a Burger Tank! And believe me, I have been HAPPY to see some Burger Tanks!"
 * "If we fire up the Burger Tank sign, Virgil might see it."
 * "Burger Tank! Oh, we made it!"
 * "Better not be any goddamn instant mud people, just add water."
 * "Man, I ain't ever gonna be dry."

The Waterfront
Nick: "Is that a good thing?"
 * "Thanks, Virgil. You stay safe, brother."
 * "We made it REAL damn far, people. I'm proud of you. Now let's just cross that last mile."
 * "We BEEN through hell getting here. Now we're at the last mile. Let's make this COUNT."
 * "They're still flying jets!"
 * Coach: "Alright! military's still here!"

The Park

 * [ After reading graffiti about CEDA ] "Where is CEDA? Zombified. [Alternate Line] "Good question. Where in the hell is CEDA? Cause I'd like to shoot some of their asses."
 * "How does bein' so right feel, Nick?"
 * "These ain't zombies. Somebody's been shootin' people."
 * "I don't know shit. We gonna keep movin'."
 * "Warning alarm will sound if door is opened upon clearance from tower."
 * "Alarm's gonna sound when we open the door."
 * "Through the bus station!"

The Cemetery
'''
 * "Army abandoned this neighborhood."
 * "Zombies didn't bring down that chopper."
 * "There was some kinda war goin on out here."
 * "Everyone into the sewer."
 * "Nick! Good news - we're going down into this sewer."
 * "Man Nick, you picked a bad day to wear your white suit."'''
 * Nick: "Tell me about it..."


 * "Alarms everywhere, people. Watch yourselves!"
 * "WOULD YOU STOP SHOOTIN' THE GODDAMN CARS?!"
 * [ When the jets blows up the freeway ] "MOTHERFU-"
 * "Alright. Shit. Nobody panic. We gonna head down and find another way up onto the bridge."

The Quarter

 * "Man, they're lighting up this whole place. We gotta get to the bridge."
 * "STOP BOMBING US."
 * "Shit. Damn, that one was close!"
 * "There's a safe room in it!"

The Bridge

 * [ Upon contacting the military via the radio on The Bridge ] Military: "Bridge, are you immune?"
 * Coach: "We are NOT infected."
 * Military: "Negative Bridge, are you IMMUNE? Have you encountered the Infected?"
 * Coach: "Encountered? Boy, I am covered in zombie blood and puke and eyeballs and twenty other parts I don't even recognize. We are immune as SHIT!"
 * [ Upon reaching the beginning of The Bridge ] "Oh yeah...our goal is right next to the bridge! ON THE OTHER MOTHER EFFIN' SIDE OF THE WATER!"
 * [ At the beginning of the bridge ] "Alrightalright. We gonna stroll across that bridge, and the army's gonna take care of us."
 * Nick: "Or they're gonna line us up against the wall and shoot us."
 * Coach: "Well you free to make yourself a new life right here in this room, Nick."
 * Nick: "Okay, alright, lets go."
 * "Those sound like soldiers! Somebody talk to 'em."
 * "Somebody pick up the radio."
 * "We gotta lower that drawbridge."
 * "You want to TEST me? I been through HELL to get to here! You are NOT the one to take me down!"
 * "I walked through a WORLD OF SHIT to get here! I am not gonna die now! I am NOT gonna DIE NOW!"

Misc

 * [ When seeing a riot zombie ]: "That zombie's got armor. I WANT ARMOR!"
 * [ Reading the sign at the start of The Parish ] "Infected detected, no shit."
 * [ Reading a sign, laughing ] "Form orderly line."

Friendly Fire

 * [ When shot ] "Yo! Stop shooting me, alright!?"
 * "Will you cut that shit out!"
 * "Cut that shit out!"
 * "Yo man, stop that shit"
 * " Oh, excuse me? EXCUSE ME!?!"
 * "Lets not start shooting each other now, okay?"
 * "Shoot me again, and you gonna be meetin' your maker right soon."
 * "Do that again and I'll come back on you."
 * [ When shot by Ellis] "Boy, quit pointing that thing on my way."
 * "Oh, hell no, boy. Don't be shooting me."
 * "Oh, hell no. Do not shoot me."
 * "Y'all gotta stop shootin' me."
 * "There's gonna be some biblical shit happening to you if you do that again."
 * "Let's not all start shootin' each other now."
 * "Are you outta your mind shootin' at me?"
 * "Work as a team, people. Work as a team."
 * [ When shot by Rochelle ] "Girl, you gotta learn to shoot."
 * "Little sister. You'll have to learn to shoot."
 * [ When shot by Nick ] "Nicolas, I thought you knew how to use a gun."
 * "Hey Nick, that was my ass you shot."
 * "I'm trying to tell you, shooting each other is not helping each other."
 * "Shootin' me? That's some crazy shit."
 * "I swear to God you can't shoot worth shit!"
 * "Come on now! Let's put some effort into this!"
 * "Come on now, seriously!"
 * [ When Tank is near] "AH, THE TANK!"
 * "DO I LOOK LIKE A TEN FOOT TALL MONSTER!?!?!"

Scavenge

 * [ At the beginning of a Scavenge map ] "Haul ass and get gas!"
 * "Let's GO! Find the gas cans!"
 * [ When the Survivors win ] "YEEEAH!"

Uncategorized

 * [ When car alarm starts ] "Game on, ladies..."
 * [ Randomly said when being controlled by a bot and Nick says "Let's go! Let's go! ] "F'sho! F'sho!" [Chuckle]
 * "Chicken ain't nothing but a bird."
 * "Rochelle, you gotta find another window. This here is the men's room."
 * "I wonder if they got dinner cookin'?"
 * "Oh you know we'll be here. We ain't got any other pressin' engagements."
 * "Man, I sure wish the Burger Tank was open."
 * "I knew Burger Tank wouldn't let us down."
 * "Hide? Pussies."
 * "All right, you MENTIONED pancakes, but it wasn't really ABOUT them, was it?"
 * "Nick, get your OCD-smelling ass in the chopper!"
 * "Hey, Nick, you smell THAT? That's the smell of Coach gettin' mad."
 * "Dollars to donuts, that chopper's headin' to the mall across town."
 * "Are we gonna put up tents and shit, or keep movin'?"