Coach/Quotes

A list of Coach's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

Intro

 * [Reading CEDA's instructons in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] [With sarcasm] "Report unusual behavior. Barricade your homes. Avoid all contact with infected individuals. Wait for official instructions. Hah! Wait my ass!"
 * Ellis: Kill all sons-a-bitches. That's my 'fficial instructions!


 * [ Killing an infected in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "This used to be a nice neighborhood!"
 * [ Stopping for a break at the stairs in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Who the hell...puts an evac station...up thirty flights of goddamn stairs?"
 * Nick: "Come on, Coach... Maybe the helicopter... maybe it's made of chocolate!"
 * [ Looking at the fleeing helicopters in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Aren't they supposed to be savin' our asses?"

General

 * "Alright, let's put on our game faces. They're comin'!"
 * "God dammit, I knew I shoulda lost some weight."
 * "Alright everybody, you are giving 110%."
 * "Man, this is about to get all Baghdad and shit..."
 * "That was some epic shit right there."

Commands
These are derived from the PC commands when using the Z, X, or C keys.

Yes

 * "Fo' sure."
 * "Sho sho."
 * "Yes."
 * "Yeah."
 * "Know that's right."
 * "Positively."

Unused

 * "Yeah. Sho you right."
 * "That's what's up, baby."

No

 * "No."
 * "No!"
 * "N-O."
 * "Shit no!"
 * "Oh hell no."
 * "Excuse me?"
 * "No thank you."
 * "Nope."
 * "Uh uh."
 * "Ain't gonna happen."
 * "Hell no."
 * "You crazy?"
 * (To Ellis) "Ahhh hell no, boy."
 * (To Rochelle) "Nahh, girl. Mn. Mnnn."

Look

 * "Check this shit out!"
 * "Look at this."
 * "What do y'all make of this?"
 * "Look!"
 * "Over there!"

Argh

 * "Damn!"
 * "Goddammit!"
 * "What the f-"
 * "Ngahhhh!"
 * "Oh, shit."

Unused

 * "Man, this is about to get all Baghdad and shit..."
 * "Oh hell, this about to get bad."
 * "Hell no."
 * "Shiiit."
 * "Bullshit."
 * "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle."
 * "Goddamn!"
 * "Son of a bitch."

Taunt

 * "Ahhhhh! HAHAHA! Oh hell yeah!"
 * (Laughs) "Goddamn right!"
 * "How'd ya like me now, hmph!"

Follow Me

 * "C'mon let's go damnit!"

Lead the Way

 * "C'mon let's go!"

Ready

 * "Good to go."

Thank you

 * "Thanks."

Good Job

 * "Nice."
 * "Nice work."
 * "Allright, doin' good."
 * (laughter) "Burn that shit!"
 * "Way to go!"
 * "Allright, allright, not bad, not bad!"

Negative responses

 * "You try that shit on me and you'll be wishin' your momma never met ya father."
 * "You try that shit on me and I will send you to Heaven right now damnit."

Health related

 * [ When there's only two Survivors left ] "Stay close, we're a party of two."
 * [ When low on health ] "Crazy sons' bitches messin' me up!"
 * [Various spluttering sounds]
 * [ When being revived ] "They oughta name a school after me for this shit."
 * "Alright, thanks."
 * "THANKS!"
 * [ Being revived with the Defibrillator ] "Aw hell, I'm back here."
 * "Please tell me you didn't do mouth to mouth..."
 * "Glad I didn't go toward the light."
 * [ When picking up Pills ] "I know one thing: I'm grabbin' pills!"
 * "Got the pills!"
 * "Damn right. Gonna grab everything I can."
 * [ When reviving someone ] "Keep it up. C'mon, keep it up, keep it up. You gonna make it."
 * [ When in critical need of healing ] "Come on... Put it together, man... You gonna make it through this shit..."
 * "It hurts...but it ain't nothing."
 * [ When on black and white ] "Come on man. You can make it through this shit!"
 * [ When giving pain pills ] "You make sure you use this now."
 * [ While incapacitated ] "Get your asses over here and help me!"
 * [ Reviving someone on their last down ] "Man, you look like one of those dudes in a drivin' school film. This may be it for you."
 * "I don't mean to be pickin' on ya, but ya'll look like shit." 
 * "You gonna be all - Nah, nah, I can't lie to you. You go down again, and that's it."
 * [ When healing another Survivor ] "Hold still. I'mma heal yo ass!"
 * "I hope this makes you feel better. Ain't sure what I'm doin'."
 * "Stop squirming, I'm gonna heal ya."
 * [ When picking up Rochelle shortly after she already went down ] "AGAIN!?"
 * Rochelle: [In a weak and breaking voice] "Again..."
 * [ Rochelle dies leaving Coach alone ] "Ahh no, baby girl, now I'm all alone."
 * [ Ellis dies ] "Goodbye Ellis, you'll be missed."
 * "I'll miss your goofy ass."
 * "Bye Ellis."
 * [ While healing himself ] "Shit, I need to heal my ass."
 * "Healing."
 * "Cover me for a sec, I gotta heal."
 * [ When low on health and Ellis is telling a story ] "WE'RE NOT GONNA SET UP CAMP FOR YOU!"
 * [ Inside the Rescue Closet ] "Need some help! Can't get myself out of here!"
 * [ When hanging off a ledge ] "Dammit, I knew I shoulda' lost weight!"
 * [ When taking Pills ] "That'll keep it tight!"
 * [ When taking Pills ] "That'll keep it tight!"

Weapon related

 * [ When he picks some incendiary ammo ] "Boo-yeah!"
 * "Lets burn some shit UP!"
 * [ When deploying incendiary ammo ] "Everyone, grab some incenderary ammo!"
 * "Deploying Fire bullets!"
 * [ When he is going to throw a Molotov or a pipe bomb ] "Fire in the hoooole!"
 * "Gr'naade!"
 * " All right now, let's blow some shit up."
 * [ Reloading after taking heavy damage ] "Re-goddamn-loading!"
 * "I tell ya, it's gonna be raining zombie pieces."
 * "Hey boy. Pow! Some bitches gonna get sniped."
 * [ After picking up a magnum ] "This here will mess some shit up!"


 * [ After picking up a hunting rifle ] "I'mma smoke a Smoker with this thing."
 * [ Picking up a cricket bat ] "I'm gonna paddle the shit outta something."
 * [ After picking up a shotgun] "This shotgun'll work!"

Infected related
[ When seeing a Boomer during the Dead Center Campaign ] "Roly Poly!"
 * [ Upon spotting a Tank ] "I'm gonna beat that Tank's ass!"
 * "Ohhh shit! Tank!"
 * "SHOOT THAT BIG MUTHA!"
 * "Holy shit, what is that?!"
 * "Holy shit! What is that?! Some...super-ass zombie!?"
 * [ Upon being attacked by a Tank while incapacitated ] "In case you all didn't see it, I got a Tank on me!"
 * "Can't you see this thing is beating the shit out of me?"
 * [ When constricted ] [Raspy] "Get this motherfu- [Coughs] off me!"
 * "The bitch is choking me!"
 * [ When a Spitter is about to spit ] "Burning shit comin'!"
 * [ When a Spitter is around ] "That fat spittin' bitch is around."
 * [ When hit by a Spitter ] "That long-neck bitch hit me!"
 * "I hear that fat woman."
 * "Crazy woman!"
 * [ When a Smoker is around ] "Sounds like one of them Smoker bitches."
 * (When dragged by a Smoker) "Hey! Where am I gettin' dragged too?!"
 * "Somethings got me!"
 * "Noooooo!"
 * [ When a Hunter is around ] "Punk-ass Hunter around."
 * "Sounds like a Hunter."
 * [When pounced on by a Hunter] "GET IT OFF!"
 * "GET THIS OFF!"
 * [ When a Witch is around ] "Ya'll hear, get ready to toss that bitch."
 * "Quiet everybody, I hear a bitch."
 * "Quiet, y'all, I hear a witch."
 * "No lights."
 * "That cryin' girl's around here."
 * "What is that, crying?!"
 * "Rochelle, that ain't you crying, right?"
 * "I'll give her somethin' to cry about!"
 * [ When LS is clicked with reticle on Witch ] "Witch!"
 * [ When LS is clicked with reticle on Witch ] "Bitch!"
 * [ When LS is clicked with reticle on Witch ] "I see that bitch!"
 * [ When pummeled by a Charger ] "Charger! SHOOT!"
 * "Don't stand there, kill this thing!"
 * "Charger's pounding me into the ground!"
 * "This things beating my ass!"
 * "Shoot the Charger!"
 * "This Charger's pounding me!"
 * "Shoot this damn Charger!"
 * "Goddamn, one of ya'll gotta shoot this thing!"
 * [ When seeing Jimmy Gibbs Junior ] "Heyyy! Jimmy Gibbs!"
 * "Forgive us, Jimmy, but we need your car."
 * "Sorry about this, Mr. Gibbs!"
 * [ When seeing a Riot Infected ] "That zombie's got armor! I want armor!"
 * "That dang zombie is bulletproof!"
 * [ When a Jockey is riding him ] "Ellis, is that you? What the hell!?"
 * "Ellis, is that you on my back!?"
 * "It ain't right for a man to be ridden like that."
 * "Oh lord no, Jockey on me!"
 * "Hey! In case you didn't see it, I got a Jockey on my back!"
 * [ When Ellis kills a Special Infected ] "Nice shot, young un'.
 * [ When Rochelle kills a Special Infected ] You on it!"
 * [ When hearing a Jockey ] "One of those leapin'-on-your-back bitches is around."
 * "I hear one of those Jockeys. If I see it, I'm gonna shoot the shit out of it!"

[ After startling the Witch ] "SWEET JESUS!"

The Hotel
[ Intro ]
 * Coach: "HEYYY! COME BACK! COME BACK! -ahh, he ain't comin' back."
 * Ellis: "That chopper looks like it's headin over to the evac station at the mall."
 * Coach: "Gotta agree. Let's follow them to the mall."


 * Nick: "Goddamn it they left us!"
 * Coach: "Hey! There's still people on the roof! Get BACK HERE!"
 * Ellis: "Do you think they saw us?"
 * Nick: "They saw us all right, and they're not coming back."
 * Coach: "Looked like it was headin' to the mall across town."

[ Unused ]
 * "Okay, nobody panic. I live around here-and that chopper looks like it's headin' to the mall. It ain't far, I can take you there."
 * "There's a mall got turned into an evac station not too far from here. I'll bet that chopper's headin' there."
 * "Aw, heck, the rescue chopper's leavin'!"
 * "Everybody calm down. I live around here, and that chopper looks like it's headin' to the mall. It ain't far-I'll take you there."
 * "Dollars to donuts, that chopper's headin' to the mall across town."
 * "Looks like it's headin' to the mall. Maybe they're still evacuatin' people there."
 * "Don't worry, they're heading to the mall, we can catch them there."
 * Nick: "Hey, come back! I'm here! There's still someone down here!"
 * Coach: "There are three other people here, son."
 * Nick: "Oh, good. You can count. I bet they'll come back now."

[ Grabbing a weapon ]
 * "We better grab a weapon. Might need to defend ourselves."
 * "I'm not a violent man. But I ain't stupid neither. Let's grab some weapons."
 * "Arm up. I don't have a good feeling about this."
 * "Grab whatever you can find to hit something with."
 * "If everyone's good with it, we should stick together."
 * "I don't like the sounds comin' from downstairs."

[ First encountering the Infected ]
 * "Jumpin' Jehosaphat! What are these things?"
 * "Y'all know what the hell these things are?"
 * "It's them or us."

[ Unused ]
 * "Damn. Sweet Georgia Brown..."
 * "Sweet Georgia Brown..."
 * "Sweet Hosanna..."
 * "These things move like greased lightning!"
 * "Man, I ain't ever killed nothin' before."
 * "This don't feel right."

[ Looking at the CEDA map ]
 * "Look at that map. We need to get ourselves to New Orleans."
 * "Would you look at this map. Folks, I think N'awlins is the last city standing in the country."
 * "We need to get to New Orleans."
 * "Would you look at this. Folks, I think N'awlins is the last city standing."
 * "Man, look at this map. We're all that's left."

[ Unused ]
 * Coach: "Man, look at this map. We're all that's left."
 * Nick: "So that's why I'm feeling so goddamn lucky."
 * Coach: "You're tirin' me real fast, son."


 * Coach: "Girl, you in news - you make any sense of this?"
 * Rochelle: "Yeah, yeah I can make sense of this. We are screwed."

[ Looking at the first elevators ]
 * "Elevator's out!"
 * "Let's get to the stairs."

[ Unused ]
 * Coach: "Oh, crumbs! Elevator's out."
 * Nick: "Crumbs? Really, Coach? That's how you swear?"

[ Fire spreading ]
 * "We can get around the fire out here."
 * "We can walk along the ledge!"
 * "Let's try the ledge!"

[ Unused ]
 * Coach: "Man, it don't feel right breakin' property like this."
 * Nick: "I LOVE doing that." / "I will never get tired of that."

[ Grabbing a gun ]
 * "This'll help."
 * "Think the zombies mind if I take one of their guns?"
 * "Mm-hmm."
 * "That's better."
 * "Now I ain't effin' around!"
 * "I have NEVER been so happy to see a gun."
 * "If they had guns, they knew this was gonna get bad."
 * "Look at this, they knew damn well this was gonna get bad."
 * "Now we're talking."
 * "This gun DOES make it easier."
 * "THAT levels the playin' field."
 * "That's more like it."

[ "Search these rooms." ]
 * "Search these rooms. Might be something we can use."

[ Seeing the elevator ]
 * "This elevator's still on!"
 * "Hey, this elevator's still on!"
 * "Thank Jesus, this one's still on. I ain't walkin' down thirty flights of stairs."
 * "I don't think you're supposed to use an elevator when the building's on fire."
 * "You think that rule still applies if there's zombies in the building?"

[ Getting in the elevator ]
 * "Hit the button before this turns into a bad idea."
 * "Everybody into the elevator!"
 * "Get in the elevator!"
 * "Somebody push the button!"

[ Inside the elevator ]
 * Ellis: "Holy shit! This is some kind of nightmare. Goddamn Zombie Apocalypse and shit. Shit, shit, shit. What in the hell are we going to do?"
 * Coach: "Settle down, son. We're going to be okay. What's your name?"
 * Ellis: "Ellis, my name is Ellis."
 * Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
 * Nick: "Name's Nick. But don't worry about learning it, 'cause I ain't sticking around long."
 * Coach: "Let's stay together for a little while longer at least. Okay, Nick?"


 * Ellis: "Holy shit! This is some kind of nightmare. Goddamn Zombie Apocalypse and shit. Shit, shit, shit. What in the hell are we going to do?"
 * Coach: "Settle down, son. We're going to be okay. What's your name?"
 * Ellis: "Ellis, my name is Ellis."
 * Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
 * Nick: "You did good out there, Rochelle."


 * Nick: "Nick, name's Nick. You all did good. What's your names?"
 * Coach: "People just call me Coach."
 * Rochelle: "My name's Rochelle. You?"
 * Ellis: "My name is Ellis, but some people call me El. I really prefer Ellis 'cause El kinda sounds like a girl's name. But if you prefer to call me El I guess you can."


 * Nick: "Name's Nick. Anyone get bit? Isn't that how this works?"
 * Coach: "No, I'm good. My friends call me Coach. I guess y'all can do the same."
 * Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
 * Ellis: "Ellis. Pleasure to meet you, Rochelle."

[ If Ellis is dead ]
 * Coach: "People call me Coach, what's your name?"
 * Nick: "Name's Nick. Hey, what's your name?"
 * Rochelle: "Rochelle. Who'd we lose? I think it was Ellis."
 * Coach: "Little man, we are goin' to miss you."

[ If Nick is dead ]
 * Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
 * Coach: "People just call me Coach."
 * Ellis: "Folks call me Ellis. I run an auto shop around here. Instead of evacuatin', I armored up a truck to drive myself out of here. Built that thing to be zombie proof. Turns out it was only ninety-nine percent zombie proof. The last one percent tore that truck to shit."
 * Coach: "Boy, you are wearin' me out."
 * Rochelle: "I think it was Nick."

[ If Rochelle is dead ]
 * Nick: "There's blood on me, but it ain't mine. Name's Nick. Hey, what's your name?"
 * Ellis: "Ellis, my name is Ellis."
 * Coach: "People just call me Coach. Who'd we lose?"
 * Nick: "I think she just said it was Rochelle."

[ Unused ]
 * "So. Pleased to meet you. You can call me Coach. What's your name?"
 * "My name's Coach. I don't like bein' here any more than you do-but if we gotta fight, we might as well fight together."
 * "My name's Coach. And I know how to shoot a gun."
 * "People call me Coach. And I live here."
 * "There we go. Most people call me Coach. And we're gonna be okay. Just gotta keep our heads."
 * "Everyone just calls me Coach."
 * "No, I'm good. You?"
 * "We are not off to a good start."
 * "I think it was Ellis."
 * "I think it was Nick."
 * "I think she said it was Rochelle. Poor girl."
 * "I thought your name was Ellis."
 * "We gotta work together. We can't lose anyone else. My name's Coach. What you folks call yourselves?"
 * "I don't think so."
 * "Coach'll work."

[ Elevator stopped ]
 * "Get ready..."
 * "All right, enough chat. Get ready."

The Streets
[ In saferoom ]
 * Coach: "There's a gun store on the way to the mall. What do you say we pay it a visit?"
 * Nick: "Sounds good to me."


 * Coach: "There's a gun store on the way to the mall. What do you say we pay it a visit?"
 * Rochelle: "Okay, this man's talking some sense. Let's get out of here."
 * Ellis: "Heh heh. Zombie apocalypse ain't all bad."


 * Ellis: "Ooh, I know a gun store we can stop at along the way. Get ourselves some real weapons."
 * Nick: "I guess living here's finally paying off."
 * Coach: "Mister... I don't think I like your attitude."
 * Nick: "Whatever."


 * Ellis: "My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once. He was shooting crows but the police were too busy tear gassing him to ask what he was doing up there. He screamed for an entire year every single time he opened his eyes. Oh, man. At first it was funny, then it just got sad, but then it got funny again. Oh, man."
 * Coach: "We ain't got time for this, Ellis." / Nick: "Ellis. Is now the best time?" / Rochelle: "Ellis, sweetie, can this wait?"
 * Ellis: "Okay."

[ Exiting the saferoom ]
 * "Let's go find that mall."
 * "Let's go find that helicopter."

[ Unused ]
 * "There's another chopper! We're close to the mall now."

[ Looking at a sign ]
 * "Mall's that way! Let's move!"
 * "Mall's that way! Just keep followin' the signs!"
 * "We're headin' the right way to the mall."
 * "Stay with me! That mall's just up ahead!"
 * "Look alive! We're getting close to the mall!"

[ Seeing the bridge (unused) ]
 * "Mall's over this bridge!"
 * "Bridge to the mall's blocked! We gotta find another way."
 * "Let's try the door."

[ Crossing an empty street (unused) ]
 * "Damn. Where is everybody?"
 * Coach: "Shit. This place is deserted. It's startin' to creep me out."
 * Nick: "It's starting to creep you out?"

[ Getting close to the gun store ]
 * "That gun store's around here somewhere."
 * "We're getting close to that gun store."
 * "That gun store's just up ahead. Let's stock up and keep moving."
 * "Gun store's just down these stairs!"
 * "That gun store's around here somewhere."

[ Entering the gun store ]
 * "Paydirt!"
 * "I don't know how to shoot one, guess we're even."
 * "Haha, paydirt!"
 * "Pretty sure alla these'll kill them zombies."
 * "This here is a lot of guns."

[ Talking to Whitaker ]
 * Whitaker: "Hello there. I've barricaded myself on the roof with ample provisions. But in my haste I forgot cola. So here is my proposition. If you go find me some cola at yonder food store, I'll clear a path to the mall for you.
 * Coach: "Finally something that makes sense to me. A man and his snacks. We'll hook ya up. Just don't forget to take care of us." / "Well man-I'll get you your drinks, but you better help us." / "I hear ya, my man. I understand your need for snacks. But I just gotta be clear that if we get 'em, you are gonna help us." / "Cola and nuts? Could go for some myself. Better not be diet cola. Because that I will not do." / "I have never killed zombies on a snack run, but today is a day of firsts. If you don't mind us using your guns to do it, we're good to go." / "Nick, don't give me that look. Cola and nuts might be this man's last meal. We can't deny him that. We get him his snacks, he helps us. I'm good with it."

[ Inside the food store ]
 * "Here comes the alarm."
 * "There's the cola!"
 * "Grab the cola!"
 * "I got the cola, let's get back!"
 * "All right, I got the crazy man's cola! Let's go!"
 * "I got the cola!"
 * "Grabbin' cola!"

[ Whitaker blows up the truck ]
 * "Barrier's down! Let's move, baby!"
 * "Path clear! Let's get to that mall!"
 * "When that man says he's gonna clear a path, he clears a path!"
 * "That's how I used clear a path when I played college ball."
 * "Path's clear! Let's move, baby!"
 * "Path's clear! Let's get to that mall!"
 * "Enjoy those cola and nuts, man! Thanks for the guns!"

[ Getting close to the mall ]
 * "Ha-ha! There's the mall!"
 * "Hmm. This mall look busy to you?"
 * "I guess all the people must be inside."

[ At the beginning of the Atrium Finale ] "Oh, hey! Jimmy Gibbs!"
 * Nick "I'm getting sick of looking at this guy's face."
 * Coach: "Well trust me - in these parts, he's as famous as....Elvis. Or the president."
 * Nick: "Really. 'Cause he looks like an asshole."
 * Coach: "Get yo' ass movin', Nick."
 * [After leaving the safe room at the Atrium Finale] "If we see a Jimmy Gibbs zombie I ain't shooting it"

[ At the beginning of The Mall ] "Everybody, gather 'round. Let's pray. Dear Lord, see us safely through our time of trial in this mall. And please Lord...let the food court be okay."
 * "Thank Jesus, this one's still on. I ain't walkin' down thirty flights of stairs."
 * "Hmm. About time a store gives a man a haircut while he buys himself some pants."
 * "Poor food court never stood a chance..."
 * [ after entering the mall ] "hmmm hmmm, peach cobbler."


 * Rochelle/Ellis: [Laughing] "Amen."


 * [Alternative Dialog]


 * Rochelle: "Lord, have mercy on Coach and spare the food court!"


 * [ Unused ] "How they HELL did they capture this thing already?"
 * "Oh man, look at that thing in there."
 * "Ain't been called nothin' but Coach for a long time."

The Passing
The Riverbank Nick: "Coach, no time for cake." [Alternate Line] Ellis: "No, but if I do, I'll holler." Zoey: "You're going to need to get to the other side of the bridge, we can help you there."
 * "Anyone see the wedding cake?"
 * [ In response to Nick saying he's seen a bride like this before ] "Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo."
 * "Dear Lord, why did I ever leave Savannah?"
 * [ During The Wedding ] Damn! This wedding didn't end well!"
 * [ When scouting the wedding area ] "Bride, wedding, there's gotta be a cake here somewhere..."
 * [ Upon seeing the tent with guns ] "Guns in the tent! Dang, but no cake!"
 * [ After startling the bride Witch ] "Ugly bride's chasing me! Ugly bride's chasing me!"
 * [ When Ellis is having trouble speaking to Zoey ] "You been killing zombies for the better part of two days, boy. You can talk to a girl."

"Ok, the boy says thank you."

The Underground
 * [ Upon seeing the Midnight Riders' bus ] "Man, I think I just saw...nah."
 * [ Teasing Nick in the Sewer ] "Hey Nick, try and keep your head above water. Don't trip, Nick [Laughs]."
 * "Nick...If I give you a piggy back ride, will you shut up about the sewer?"
 * "Nick, man...face it...we are walking through shit."


 * "I must be dreaming."


 * "Easy now... Don't be playin' on this board."
 * [Singing] "...suitcase filled with pistols and money"
 * [ In response to Ellis beginning a story because Rochelle accidentally encouraged it ] "I swear, you let your guard down for one second we all pay the price."

The Port
 * [ Going down the elevator ] "Ellis, keep your mind on the cans, not the girl."
 * [ Going down the elevator ] "Alright, no playing around. Get the gas cans and go!"


 * [ After Louis makes a kill ] "Louis in the house."

The Highway

 * "Whispering Oaks! Shit, I used to go there as a kid!"
 * Nick: "Oh, good. Now we can die there as adults."


 * "Ellis, that was some good driving."
 * "Look at those lights to the left! They're having a party!"
 * "Well now, if we're picking directions, I say head towards the spinning lights."
 * "Ain't no way to drive around this mess, let's walk it."
 * "One place is as good as the next when you're dead."
 * "Ah hell, those lights are an amusement park!"
 * "Jesus Christ, that's a Ferris wheel lit up."
 * "Let's head to the amusement park, ain't like we have anywhere else to go."
 * "Looks like people were heading towards Whispering Oaks."
 * "We ain't the only ones that thought to take this short-cut."
 * "Hm. Lights on, but nobody's home."
 * "Well, nobody but the zombies."
 * "We gotta cross the valley."
 * "[Laughing] It's not funny. You could really hurt yo--[Laughs harder] Nah, it is funny!"
 * "Whao, watch that first step, baby."

The Fairgrounds
[ Upon seeing a cotton candy stall in Dark Carnival ] "Cotton candy, the wise pharaoh of food, sittin' a top the food pyramid, passing judgment on all the lesser foods."
 * "Look, let's just find the corndog stand and hold out there."

[ Upon seeing the stalls in the Dark Carnival ] "Elephant ears, funnel cakes, corndogs; man these signs are bringing back some memories." Nick: "You know what I think its gonna activate everything else around here." [ Upon seeing the height requirement at the carousel ] "You must be this tall to ride. Well least there won't be no Jockeys in there."
 * "I find a Burger Tank in this place and I'mma be a one-man cheeseburger apocalypse."
 * "I was a lil' peanut riding these. This here was my favorite."
 * "That peanut's got crazy eyes. They FOLLOW you."
 * "Hey, hey, man...can't go down the slide without your sack."
 * [ Upon reaching the switch to the gate ] "Alright, this is gonna open the gate and what the hell else?"


 * Nick: "Nope. Just lots and lots of Tanks."

Nick: "Tunnel of Love, Jesus Christ!"
 * "You must be this tall to ride. Sorry, Ellis, it's been real, man."
 * "Man, I loved this place as a kid."
 * "Come on, get into the Tunnel of Love."
 * [ Upon seeing the Safe House in the Tunnel of Love ] "Get yo' ass in the Tunnel of Love!"

The Coaster

 * "Hey. No smoochin', y'all."
 * "Well, looks like we're going through the Tunnel of Love, people. Stay close to me."
 * Nick: "I'd think I like to clarify what constitutes 'close'."


 * [ In the Tunnel of Love ] "Back in the day, I had some POSTERS that would look good in this light."
 * [ Walking through the Tunnel of Love ] "I don't remember the Tunnel of Love bein' this long! I musta had something else on my mind."
 * "Hm. Shit. First time I ever couldn't wait to get out of the Tunnel of Love."
 * "Running the Screaming Oak...now don't that beat all..."
 * "This is some crazy ass world we live in now."
 * "No, this ain't gonna be cool. You ain't right in the head boy."
 * "Through the bumper cars!"

The Barns

 * "We got to get into the stadium."
 * "There's the Peach Bowl!"
 * "I hear somethin' go on in there!"
 * "If we can get on the monorail, we can jump the fence."
 * "We need to get on the monorail."
 * "Everybody go, go, go. Onto the monorail."
 * "Into the dumpster."
 * "Rochelle, you gotta find another window, this here is the men's room."

The Concert

 * [ The beginning at the Safe House ] "Alright, heres the plan. Y'all know the Midnight Riders? They're gonna save us."
 * Ellis: "I hate to break it to ya Coach, but I don't think they're actually here."
 * Coach: "We'll set off their finale and the chopper gotta know something's up. And nobody, and I mean NOBODY has the bigger light show than the Midnight Riders."
 * Nick: "Coach, that is the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with."
 * Coach: "Alright then, everybody grab a weapon and let's move!"
 * "There's the stage."
 * "Lip-syncing old ass bitches, they got a tape back here."
 * "Well ain't this a bitch, they got a tape for their music. To think I used to like these guys."


 * Nick: "Sorry to break it to you Coach, but your heroes lip-sync. There's a tape back here labeled 'Finale'."
 * Coach: "No, they're just saving their voices for the studio, Nick. That's SMART."


 * [ When standing in front of the microphone with a guitar at the Finale ] Every lady's crazy when her daddy's not around, na na na na na na na na! Gotta reach for the top, stay on the mountain, na na na na na na na na!
 * "I forget how much I love this song!"
 * (EXTREMELY RARE) "See Nick, the Midnight Riders can save lives!"

Swamp Fever

 * [ Reading the sign at the start of The Swamp ] "No CEDA, no military, stay out..."
 * [ When ferry arrives at the Swamp Fever ] "Put it all out there."
 * [ When the fishing boat arrives in The Plantation ] "*Repeatedly blows sports whistle*"
 * [ Upon seeing the Plane Wreckage ] "Nick, you sure you didn't kill this pilot too?"
 * "Better not be any goddamn instant mud people, just add water."
 * "Nick, we're goin into a swamp filled with zombies. Y'all want me to lie to ya?"
 * "I normally stay the hell away from swamps on principle. You remember that movie with that golfer that got his hand ate by a gator? That shit's real."
 * "Ellis, it's just a boat."
 * [When entering Shanty Town] "Careful lookin' for supplies, show respect."

Milltown

 * "Look here, the gas station's right across the street. We coulda already been there and back by now. Come on."
 * "What gun bag? ...Oh, for- Tell me we didn't forget the guns!"
 * "ME? I told Nick to grab the guns!"
 * "We should be in and out here. Get the gas, get back to shore, signal Virgil with the flare gun in the gun bag. Then we just, uh... um... Aw, HELL. Tell me SOMEONE brought the GUN BAG."
 * "Next gas two miles. Hope Virgil likes waitin', 'cause it looks we're goin' for a walk."
 * "Let's head to this Ducatel diesel."
 * "Alright, quit whinin'. We just gotta hike to this Duke-atel diesel."
 * "It's startin' to rain."
 * "First the plague, now the flood. I feel like I should be buildin' an ark."
 * "That's a nasty damn wreck."
 * "Don't think we got much choice in the matter.
 * "He's good people"
 * "Don't jinx us, Nick."
 * "Shit. All these zombies should help you swallow."
 * "Man, I sure wish the Burger Tank was open."
 * "I could go for a BBQ bacon burger."
 * "And a large order of fries, and..."
 * "...an orange soda with no ice, and a..."
 * "...piece of hot apple pie."


 * "Storms come up fast, but we should make it."
 * "Let's head to the sugar mill."

The Sugar Mill

 * "I am not dying in a goddamn sugar mill."
 * "Hurry up, people. We don't wanna get stuck out here in a storm."
 * "If this rain really comes, we gonna get washed away."
 * "We already got plague. Maybe the Lord'll let us slide on the flood."
 * "A whole lotta damn Witches up in this place."
 * "All these pale-assed crazy ladies are gettin' on my last nerve."
 * "Maybe the rain's bringin' them out."
 * "What the hell do THEY got to cry about? We're the ones getting attacked."
 * "Through the cane field!"
 * "Close the door and we can bust the cans outta this locker."
 * "So we gotta get past the sugar mill."
 * "Bitches every ten feet in this goddamn place."
 * "Dang. Bitches must like sugar."
 * "Goddammit, what with all these Witches."

Mill Escape

 * "Alright, people. Everybody got a can?"
 * "Let's head back to the boat."
 * "Getting' back to the boat ain't gonna be as easy as gettin' here."
 * "I told ya these storms come up quick."

Return to Town

 * "The boat ain't far. One last push and we're outta here."
 * "Keep to high ground!"

Town Escape

 * "I have NEVER been so happy to see a Burger Tank! And believe me, I have been HAPPY to see some Burger Tanks!"
 * "If we fire up the Burger Tank sign, Virgil might see it."
 * "Burger Tank! Oh, we made it!"
 * "Better not be any goddamn instant mud people, just add water."
 * "Man, I ain't ever gonna be dry."

The Waterfront
Nick: "Is that a good thing?"
 * "Thanks, Virgil. You stay safe, brother."
 * "We made it REAL damn far, people. I'm proud of you. Now let's just cross that last mile."
 * "We BEEN through hell getting here. Now we're at the last mile. Let's make this COUNT."
 * "They're still flying jets!"
 * Coach: "Alright! military's still here!"

The Park

 * [ After reading graffiti about CEDA ] "Where is CEDA? Zombified. [Alternate Line] "Good question. Where in the hell is CEDA? Cause I'd like to shoot some of their asses."
 * "How does bein' so right feel, Nick?"
 * "These ain't zombies. Somebody's been shootin' people."
 * "I don't know shit. We gonna keep movin'."
 * "Warning alarm will sound if door is opened upon clearance from tower."
 * "Alarm's gonna sound when we open the door."
 * "Through the bus station!"

The Cemetery
'''
 * "Army abandoned this neighborhood."
 * "Zombies didn't bring down that chopper."
 * "There was some kinda war goin on out here."
 * "Everyone into the sewer."
 * "Nick! Good news - we're going down into this sewer."
 * "Man Nick, you picked a bad day to wear your white suit."'''
 * Nick: "Tell me about it..."


 * "Alarms everywhere, people. Watch yourselves!"
 * "WOULD YOU STOP SHOOTIN' THE GODDAMN CARS?!"
 * [ When the jets blows up the freeway ] "MOTHERFU-"
 * "Alright. Shit. Nobody panic. We gonna head down and find another way up onto the bridge."

The Quarter

 * "Man, they're lighting up this whole place. We gotta get to the bridge."
 * "STOP BOMBING US."
 * "Shit. Damn, that one was close!"
 * "There's a safe room in it!"

The Bridge

 * [ Upon contacting the military via the radio on The Bridge ] Military: "Bridge, are you immune?"
 * Coach: "We are NOT infected."
 * Military: "Negative Bridge, are you IMMUNE? Have you encountered the Infected?"
 * Coach: "Encountered? Boy, I am covered in zombie blood and puke and eyeballs and twenty other parts I don't even recognize. We are immune as SHIT!"
 * [ Upon reaching the beginning of The Bridge ] "Oh yeah...our goal is right next to the bridge! ON THE OTHER MOTHER EFFIN' SIDE OF THE WATER!"
 * [ At the beginning of the bridge ] "Alrightalright. We gonna stroll across that bridge, and the army's gonna take care of us."
 * Nick: "Or they're gonna line us up against the wall and shoot us."
 * Coach: "Well you free to make yourself a new life right here in this room, Nick."
 * Nick: "Okay, alright, lets go."
 * "Those sound like soldiers! Somebody talk to 'em."
 * "Somebody pick up the radio."
 * "We gotta lower that drawbridge."
 * "You want to TEST me? I been through HELL to get to here! You are NOT the one to take me down!"
 * "I walked through a WORLD OF SHIT to get here! I am not gonna die now! I am NOT gonna DIE NOW!"

Misc

 * [ When seeing a riot zombie ]: "That zombie's got armor. I WANT ARMOR!"
 * [ Reading the sign at the start of The Parish ] "Infected detected, no shit."
 * [ Reading a sign, laughing ] "Form orderly line."

Friendly Fire

 * [ When shot ] "Yo! Stop shooting me, alright!?"
 * "Will you cut that shit out!"
 * "Cut that shit out!"
 * "Yo man, stop that shit"
 * " Oh, excuse me? EXCUSE ME!?!"
 * "Lets not start shooting each other now, okay?"
 * "Shoot me again, and you gonna be meetin' your maker right soon."
 * "Do that again and I'll come back on you."
 * [ When shot by Ellis] "Boy, quit pointing that thing on my way."
 * "Oh, hell no, boy. Don't be shooting me."
 * "Oh, hell no. Do not shoot me."
 * "Y'all gotta stop shootin' me."
 * "There's gonna be some biblical shit happening to you if you do that again."
 * "Let's not all start shootin' each other now."
 * "Are you outta your mind shootin' at me?"
 * "Work as a team, people. Work as a team."
 * [ When shot by Rochelle ] "Girl, you gotta learn to shoot."
 * "Little sister. You'll have to learn to shoot."
 * [ When shot by Nick ] "Nicolas, I thought you knew how to use a gun."
 * "Hey Nick, that was my ass you shot."
 * "I'm trying to tell you, shooting each other is not helping each other."
 * "Shootin' me? That's some crazy shit."
 * "I swear to God you can't shoot worth shit!"
 * "Come on now! Let's put some effort into this!"
 * "Come on now, seriously!"

Scavenge

 * [ At the beginning of a Scavenge map ] "Haul ass and get gas!"
 * "Let's GO! Find the gas cans!"
 * [ When the Survivors win ] "YEEEAH!"

Uncategorized

 * [ When car alarm starts ] "Game on, ladies..."
 * [ Randomly said when being controlled by a bot and Nick says "Let's go! Let's go! ] "F'sho! F'sho!" [Chuckle]
 * "Chicken ain't nothing but a bird."
 * "Rochelle, you gotta find another window. This here is the men's room."
 * "I wonder if they got dinner cookin'?"
 * "Oh you know we'll be here. We ain't got any other pressin' engagements."
 * "Man, I sure wish the Burger Tank was open."
 * "I knew Burger Tank wouldn't let us down."
 * "Hide? Pussies."
 * "All right, you MENTIONED pancakes, but it wasn't really ABOUT them, was it?"
 * "Nick, get your OCD-smelling ass in the chopper!"
 * "Hey, Nick, you smell THAT? That's the smell of Coach gettin' mad."
 * "Dollars to donuts, that chopper's headin' to the mall across town."
 * "Are we gonna put up tents and shit, or keep movin'?"