User:Cpl. Wilding/Left 4 Dead 2 Fanfic

Notice: This is half-based on my experiences in Left 4 Dead 2 campaign as well as me just writing for the hell of it.

The Hotel
'We meet Ellis in his garage, fixing up an old Chevy. We ask him if he's Ellis and he says he is and wipes his hands off. After that, he grabs himself a Coke, cracks it open and sits down on a barstool. He offers us chairs, and as we sit down we notice the M16 rifle he keeps, with some severe cratch marks on it. I lay the recorder on the workshop bench, careful not to put it in a grease spot and begin recording.'

Can you tell us what happened the day the Infection hit Savannah?

Hell, it started out like any other normal day for me. Get up, work in the garage, screw around with Keith and finish up with eating dinner with Ma. Difference today was Keith wasn't home and his brother Paul left a note to me (I guess anyone who passed by really) that there was some kinda disease goin' round. For a minute I thought it was just a joke, but then I saw the homeless dude. At least, I think he was homeless. He had a brown paper bag on his head and a green army jacket, I think. Yelled something about being Dr. Hobo and charged at me. I yelled out a swear and ran for a while, then saw signs telling me to go to the hotel cause C.E.D.A. was evac'ing everyone. I think I lost the hobo dude, cause I didn't see him no more. I went int' th' hotel and more signs told me t' head up to the highest floor. So needless to say, I got up there right quick and saw three other folks up there. I was about to say hi until we all heard a helicopter fly away. One dude started yelling at the pilot to come back so I joined him, but it was too late by that time. One guy, he was wearin' a suit, told us to all grab a gun or two. He looked and sounded like he knew what he was doin', so I did as I was told. Unfortunately for me, there weren't no pistols left, so I grabbed a fire axe.

''Let's stop for a minute. You're faced with three people you don't know and one of them tells you to grab a weapon? Didn't you think that maybe there was something else going on than just a plain disease?''

Well, hell of course I knew there was more shit goin' on than the disease. My thinking at the time told me it was better to have a weapon and not need it than need it and not have it. Besides, I always wanted to be an axe murderer.

So what happened after that?

We all had our stuff so we headed downstairs. Coach opened the door and-

Coach?

Well, he looked like a coach, so I just figured I'd call him Coach.

''I see. Keep going.''

Anyway, Coach opened the door, and these guys were NOT like any Savannites I've ever seen. Guy in the suit, Mr. Gambler Man said he didn't care what they were, but he was killin' 'em.

Didn't that tell you maybe there was something different about him?

Nah, not really.

What did you do?

Well, I just stayed behind and chopped off anyone who got too close to me. These guys were serious shit, man. Like they were punching Miss a couple time so I ran over and chopped their fool heads off. Y'see, I was raised up to never, ever ever disrespect a lady, and this girl was no diff'rent, to be honest. If I remember right, the room she was in had a map in it that said New Orleans was the last city standin', so we figured we'd head there.

''What else happened? Did you try to find an elevator?''

There were elevators on the floor we were on, but none of them were workin'. Coach was about to go down the hall, but I guess the bulidin' was on fire or somethin', cause the hall blew up right in front of us. We went into a room on the right and walked on the edge real careful-like. Then I heard something.

What did it sound like?

Like a really pissed-off dog.

What did you do?

I warned the others even though I had no idea what the hell it was. Not a whole lot, just lettin' 'em know I didn't hear a happy noise. After a while we were back in the hotel and headed downstairs, but I still heard that noise.

What happened after that?

This weird dude in a hoodie leapt through the air like shit, man, and pounced on the lady and started clawing her. I dunno what, but my instincts just kicked in and I axed that fucker's head off. After that we kept going down, killing more zombies.

What made you decide they were zombies?

Well, I've seen enough horror movies in my life, and I know a zombie when I see one. Besides, what else were they?

''Interesting. Did you ever find an elevator or did you keep going down the stairs?''

Nah, we found an elevator in a room full of sleepin' bags and shit. Guess that was a stagin' area for C.E.D.A or whatever. Anyway, I had found a gun in one of the rooms by that time, real big one too, I think it was a Desert Eagle or somethin'. We headed into the elevator, and I know you ain't supposed to use elevators in a fire, but what the hell. Zombies are more dangerous than elevators.

What happened when you got to the bottom of the hotel?

Well, first I gotta back up for a bit. Other three folks introduced themselves, and my guess about Coach was right, bein' a coach and all. Ro's a cool girl and all, but kinda whiney. I liked Nick, but I got a bit sad when he said he wasn't gonna stick around long. I figured he would anyway. Now, as to what happened when we hit bottom...Smoke was hittin' us and well, doors were jammed so Nick and I took it upon ourselves to open 'em up. Whole hallway was on fire, and somebody dropped four guns in front of the elevator, fully loaded too. Lucky as hell for us, cause there was a hella huge wave of zombies comin' at us. I dunno how though, but Rochelle saw this huge fucker with one arm, yelled out "one of those chargin' things!" and thing let out a squel and grabbed Coach. He didn't even stop till he hit the wall, and even then he started bashing Coach into the floor. Took nearly an entire damn mag to kill that thing. Well, we figured with Coach's injuries we'd better get out fast. So we ran like hell through a kitchen, and then through the main lobby. Nick was leadin' us and well...he came face-to-face with this huge fat guy. He didn't think twice about shootin' it, but he may have wanted to. Guy blew up and covered Nick and I in this slimey shit. Couldn't see shit for a while and a whole bunch of zombies came runnin' at us. Thank God I had that gun, otherwise I probably wouldn't be here now.

Was there a saferoom in the first floor?

Oh yeah, we were just a stone's throw away from it. We ran into it, shut the door and Nick told us we weren't so bad. After that, we barricaded the door while Ro fixed up Coach.

''Thank you for helping us with this, Ellis. This will help for a more complete record of the outbreak.''

Ain't no problem, sirs.

The Streets
'We are sitting in a lavish but modest home as Nick pours himself some wine. He offers some to us but we respectfully decline. Behind us is a katana sword Nick kept after the outbreak, still stained red with blood. Behind Nick is a set of dual pistols. I lay the recorder on the table between us and begin recording.'

What happened after Rochelle healed Coach?

To be honest, I didn't really care either way about what happened to Savannah. As far as I was concerned, I needed to get to New Orleans and get out before any of those three nitwits slowed me down. Ellis was already going off on this weird-ass story about this Keith guy, saying something about lawnmowers made into bumper cars. I tuned him out and grabbed a shotgun. I figured I was going to need it real soon. Coach was saying something about a gun store up ahead and Ellis said he knew the way. By then, though, those freaks were already swarming at the door, just waiting for us to come out. Rochelle took some initiative and blasted them all with the gun she picked up. I reminded myself not to piss her off. Coach opened the door and we walked out into the streets.

Was there anything unusual?

Aside from the whole "zombie-apocalypse-there's-no-one-alive" deal?

Well, yes.

It was quiet. Too quiet. My instincts told me something was up. Of course, my instincts also told me that these three dimwits I was with was a really bad idea, and I planned on leaving them as soon as we got to the gun store. I kept imagining any minute now, some cops would arrive and arrest all of us for the "Seaside Hotel Massacre of 2010" or something. Didn't help that we had encountered three total freaks earlier, a scrawny bitch that pounced, Aunt Bea and a guy in overalls.

Aunt Bea?

Aunt of mine. Puking guy reminded me of her when I first saw him, so I called them Aunt Beas.

What did you do to shake your uneasy feelings?

Did what I always do: go on and find out what's going on. We walked for a while and there still weren't any sign of those freaks. That's when I heard the thumping noises.

Thumping noises?

It sounded like a damned dump trunk with legs, and looked like it too. Coach yelled that it wasn't fair, and I agreed with him. We all lit him up like no tomorrow, but it didn't feel like he was going down. I retreated into a nearby C.E.D.A. tent and found a grenade launcher, of all things. I dropped the shotgun and aimed and shot. Thing hit, that I knew but it STILL didn't kill it! The thing turned towards me, picked up a slab of concrete and hurled it at me, and I went down. The only thing running through my mind at that moment was, and I quote, "holyshitholyshitIamgonnadie". Thankfully, another volley of shots from Rochelle and Ellis killed it, and Coach ran over to help. How I didn't die from that, I still don't know.

Did you stop to check your wounds?

Turns out the worst I got was a cracked rib. Don't ask me how, but it's all I got away with.

What happened after that?

We headed down to a building on the right side of the hotel, and I grabbed a molotov from a nearby truck. The building was pretty dark, and there were some zombies down there, but we got rid of them quickly. After that, it was some ol' same ol': Kill zombies, get to gun store. Ellis had finally shut up about Keith for a while, and we hopped over a dumpster to get to the gun store. I heard some crazed laughter coming from a building nearby, so I let everyone else go ahead of me. Coach opened the door and this weirdo jumps out and latches itself onto Rochelle's face. I thought it was humping her for a minute, but then it started dragging her inside, where a lot of those zombies were. Needless to say, we all started shooting.

Weren't you worried you might have hit Rochelle?

Not my fault if she got in the way of my gun.

Didn't you have a grenade launcher?

Indeed I did.

You're saying you weren't concerned at all if Rochelle was hit by shrapnel?

What I'm saying is I didn't care if I hit her or not. She did complain and ask what we were thinking a few times, but it was her fault for being jumped by that little freak.

What happened after that?

We kept going along, and found a whole bunch of guns just sitting there just waiting for us. Ellis got the idea in his head he was gonna snipe, but I took the gun away from him and handed him an assault rifle, telling him that I would snipe. He seemed happy with that, so we kept going. Down we went onto the highway...and boy, was that swarming with zombies. I was almost glad to see them and got some good shooting in.

Did you ever reach the gun store?

After about fifteen minutes of fighting, yes. We came up on this crazy bitch, and Ellis gave a pretty clever comment on her being my mom. Killed her, but she spat at us and Rochelle managed to burn her feet. I made a note to not step in that shit unless it was unavoidable. After that it was a leisurely walk to the gun store, and I let the others know I wasn't legally allowed to own guns, but I figured that they didn't care. By this time, I didn't want to snipe, so I traded it for a nice piece of Russian weaponry.

An AK-47.

My experience identified it as an AK-74, but technicalities. Coach found this radio or something in the wall, and next thing I know this guy's mumbling something through to us. I asked what he had said, and Coach said in exchange for cola, he'll blow up the truck in our way to the mall. I would've suggested walking around it, but if we can get this crazy guy his Coke, whatever. Ellis said that we'd do it and we were off to the shop across from the gun store.

Was the shop open?

Nick laughs.

What's so funny?

Store wasn't open. Nothing was open! Entire damn city had been evac'ed and we were the only ones alive in it! Hell, I wasn't even sure if this Whitaker guy could last, and he had a gun store!

How did you get his cola then?

Ellis asked us if we were ready, and I figured I had nothing to lose, so I told him to open it up. Alarm starts blaring and Coach runs like hell to the back of the store and grabs the soda. For his age, man can run. He called out he had the soda, so we ran out of there faster than a guy that owes debts to a casino. Freaks started swarming us, and I thought I had heard more pounding, but it was just one of those overall guys. He grabbed Rochelle and Coach had dropped the soda to save her! Of course, I just tossed my Molotov behind me, grabbed the cola and ran up to Whitaker. He told me to put the cola in the slot, and I did. Turned around, and I was face to face with a dozen zombies.

Were you concerned at all about Rochelle?

Not really. I just wanted to get out of there.

What happened after that?

Ellis blew all of them away with his shotgun, God bless the knucklehead, and we watched Whitaker blow up the truck. Coach mentioned he may have grabbed diet cola, so we ran out of there before he blew us up.

What did you see when you got to the mall?

A lot of C.E.D.A. tents...but no C.E.D.A. And a lot of zombies.

What did you do?

I figured that if there wasn't any C.E.D.A in the mall parking lot, probably no C.E.D.A. in the mall itself, but I didn't let the others know my doubts. I simply shot anything in my way and got inside the mall. Ellis managed to break his leg and arm being pummeled by the Charger -

Charger?

Guy in overalls. After Rochelle called it a "charging thing" name just came naturally.

What else happened?

We healed up, took a break and I drank some water. If it was hot there, anywhere else had to be hotter and I couldn't wait to get out.

Thank you for your time Nick, we'll be back later.

I look forward to it.

The Mall
'We are in a small but nicely-arranged gym, as Coach instructs a student on the proper way to lift a weight. He notices us and tells his young student to take a break and gives him a towel. We take seats and the smell of sweat is all around us as Coach begins telling his story. We also notice that his once black beard is now close to snow white due to the trauma of the events.'

What happened once you were inside the Mall?

I always found it a good thing to pray before any event you know is gon' be hard. I gathered the three around and prayed a nice, short prayer. Of course, they'll tell ya I prayed for the food court to be O.K. but that ain't right. Of course, we all know only God knows what we truly pray about.

''Ellis stated that you suffered some rib fractures in the Hotel. Was that coming back inside the mall?''

Nah, I was all good by then. Ro's a real lifesaver, and I thank her every day for that both in person and in my prayers.

What was the mall like?

It was hot, it was dark, and I hated it. Of course, I didn't like malls too much when I was just shoppin' in 'em, but having to kill in 'em...that just tore it. I knew that these folks were infected an' all...but it ain't right to have to kill a man.

So far, Ellis and Nick didn't show any remorse for killing.

Well, Nick gave off a shady past just on his own on account of his lil' comment in th' gun store. I remember always checking my wallet every ten minutes of downtime just in case he decided to take it. It didn't surprise me he was good with a gun.

And Ellis?

Ellis is Ellis. That's all I got to say about him.

Anything significant happen inside the mall?

We came up on this guy that sounded like he had a bad case of throat cancer. I didn't even know he was there 'till he wrapped his fool tongue around me and I started chokin'. Ellis being the good ol' boy he is, shot him and killed in one shot. Boy's a good shot, I'll give him that. I decided to start callin' them Smokers, just cause he sounded like he was one.

What did you notice in the others?

Nick was being Nick, always kinda sneakin' around with his shifty eyes. Rochelle was lookin' out for everyone, and I was lookin' out for her. Ellis...well, like I said, he was bein' Ellis. After a good half-hour of fightin', we came across a door, double wide. Said "Emergency Exit Only - Alarm Will Sound". Ellis didn't even notice the sign and charged right through. Next thing I know, we're fighting to get to the top floor. Hell, I switched out my two pistols for a bat, only cause those pistols took too long to reload and cause I knew a bat was better for close-range fightin' than a couple of flimsy pistols. After enough - I'd say an hour or soemthing - we got to the top and turned that damn alarm off. I had to agree with Nick - I thought my ears would NEVER stop ringin'!

How far into the mall were you?

Far enough that once we got back to the ground floor, we knew we weren't being evac'ed.

Why is that?

C.E.D.A's tents didn't have no one in them and the mall was dead silent except for our guns ringing.

Were you panicked by this?

For a minute, yes, but then I got a hold of myself and we kept on trucking. Got up to the saferoom and miraculously, nobody got hurt.

Thank you for your time, Coach.

No problem.

The Atrium
'Rochelle is setting up papers for her next broadcast, now owning her own local Savannah radio station. After some security checks, we meet her in her office as she types up setlists and news tidbits for her show. We both notice that unlike the other Survivors, Rochelle does not keep souvenirs of the Infection.'

What happened when you got to the last saferoom?

We got ourselves some ammo, got ready and Ellis mentioned...something about his buddy Keith.

Do you remember what he had said?

Not really, hon, I wasn't paying attention to his story at the time. I only asked him if it could wait and to my surprise he did stop.

What happened after you left the saferoom?

We ran out to the elevator, killing a few nuts along the way. Once we were headin' down, Ellis came up with probably the most brilliant plan I'd ever heard.

Which was?

He pointed to a car like a giddy little girl, and went off on Jimmy Gibbs and told us we could gas it up and drive out. Nick didn't think it'd work, but hell, if it got us out of there I was more than happy to do whatever we needed to do. Coach told us to grab gas as soon as the door opened, and we did. Oh, yes we did.

How long did it take?

Four people, trying to all get a gas gan, pour it into a car and not get killed by zombies? Hon, it took a long time. Probably two and a half hours. Didn't help that we had two tanks show up.

''Tanks? The Army was trying to kill you?''

Oh no, not those kinds of tanks. Big, mean, muscular guys...Nick probably has a real macho story on how he escaped one without a scratch, but in reality he broke both his arms.

''How did Nick get that far then? He says he sniped for a good part of the route to Whitakers...''

That's because I was sniping. He doesn't like to admit he's injured.

Back to the subject, what happened after the car was filled up with gas?

Ellis hopped in the front seat like my brother did when he got his license, yelled at us to get in and drove off and through the front window. Probably looks pretty spectacular, I bet.

Thank you very much for your time, Rochelle.

No problem.

The Riverbank
'We once again meet Ellis, although this time instead of working in his garage we find him relaxing at home, watching a local news station. Ellis asks if we want some iced tea, which we accept. He pours us and himself glasses and sets them on the coffee table in front of us. It isn't two minutes before we begin asking him about Zoey that she walks in, saying "Someone talking about me?" and gives Ellis a kiss. Ellis returns the kiss and she sits down next to him. We both note that her upstate Pennsylvania accent is slowly being replaced with a Southern accent.'

So, what happened once you got to the bridge?

By that time, Jimmy's stock car had gotten zombie blood and shit all over it, and the hood was messed up like hell. I met Zoey after we had all gotten out, and I figured we needed a password or something to get through at first, but she assured me that all we needed to do was get under the bridge. I grabbed a golf club from behind the car and a medkit, and we were on our way. Nick called out this guy in military stuff, guess he was carrying something. Nick got him and he took pills and a molotov off of him. We kept going along for a while, killing like it was second nature to us. Although I guess it was at that time, heh.

''Coach mentioned that he felt bad for killing the infected. Did you ever feel this way?''

Dude, I was only thinkin' about Zoey then. Hell, I'm surprised I didn't get myself killed, thinkin' about her all the time. But anyway, after a while we found some real guns and I decided to take a shotgun. Then a Tank showed up, of all things! Took us hella long to take it down, and even then I don't know how we did it. We kept going and after long enough of killin' zombies and fightin' off Spitters and shit-

Spitters?

Aw yeah, we gave names to all the mutated ones we came across. The ugly zombies with long necks, we called them Spitters. Hunters, I described last time I saw you guys, and Boomers, Chargers, Jockeys, Smokers, all those freaks. But there was one we hadn't come across yet, and I wasn't sure if we were ever prepared for it.

What was it?

There was this chick in a weddin' dress, and she was sittin' in the middle of this outdoor atrium or whatever, sitting with her back to us and crying. Rochelle was about to go up to her and see if she was infected, but Nick stopped her. I think he'd probably seen one of them before, but I dunno. Anyway, I found a jukebox nearby, and it was playin' wedding music which I didn't care too much for, so I tuned it to the Midnight Riders. Nick began yelling at me, how much of a dumbshit I was, all that. Then we heard the scream.

The scream?

Turns out that girl we saw cryin' - she was infected! She had long claws and scared the shit out of me. She hit me once and knocked me down, and just whaled on me, man. I was worried I wouldn't get out of there alive.

How did you escape?

Everyone else blew her away and she died, but we weren't out of the woods yet. Huge Horde came right at us, dude - like, probably the entire wedding. It wouldn't surprise me if a priest had ran up to us and started beatin' us with a Bible. After the horde died, we just flat-out RAN to the safehouse, didn't even stop for cake.

''Thank you for your time Ellis. We'll be back later.''

Cool.

The Underground
'We once again meet Nick in his home as he finishes work on a small model. The model is a 1/20th scale model of a war-torn city, with tiny soldiers patrolling the area. Nick points out to us that the soldiers are German soldiers in France, circa 1940. He sits down in a nearby chair and continues tinkering with the model as we question him about The Underground.'

What happened after you reached the Saferoom?

Ellis started going off on another Keith story, Coach was probably dreaming about cheeseburgers and I was waiting for Rochelle to just shut up for once. For all I knew, those people we had met at the bridge were lying to us and planned to screw us over once we got there. I also didn't believe for a minute that biker guy was a cop. But, whatever. If the others wanted to be idiots, that was fine with me.

What happened once you got on the streets?

Oh God, those streets. It was a convention of zombies, looked like New Orleans on Mardis Gras, except this time these drunks were zombies. We did what we always did - blew them away and kept going. Held up in a tattoo shop for a bit to see if the guns there were any better. Boomer nearly snuck up on us while we did that. If Ro hadn't been keeping watch on the door, this suit would have even more puke on it than it does now.

'[He motions to his white suit, covered with blood, vomit and other bodily fluids, kept in a glass case as a testament to his survival. We also notice that there are several bullet holes in it.]'

Did anything else eventful happen?

We kept going through the streets, and Coach claims he saw a Midnight Riders tour bus, but whatever. We were about to head into a renovated sewer line, I guess, place was filled with both shit water and rain water. Nearly got ourselves killed by another Witch - damn those things are everywhere - and we had to go into this "Under the River Tour"...claimed to be historic or some shit.

Was it what you expected?

I was living a zombie apocalypse - my motto even before the infection was "Expect the Unexpected." Like hell if I actually knew what we were going into. All I knew was that we needed to get to the other side to fill up a generator - for people I didn't even know were going to stay and help us.

So, what was in the river tour?

It was a glorified basement, is what it was. 5 bucks for an antique basement? If Rayford were still alive, I'd tip my hat to him. Hell, wasn't even done until we had to go into the sewer. Damn, I hated that sewer. It was dark, it was wet, and it was full of shit water. I was literally full of shit in there. Luckily, there was an M60 nearby, that'd help even the odds a bit. Ellis grabbed it and nearly wet his pants. We kept gonig and came up to a gate...just when I thought I was done being in shit water. You know what was really comforting to know? If any of us got pounced by a Hunter, we were going to be fully submerged in shit water.

What was the gate to?

More water, but more inportantly, our way out. We opened it and horde comes rushing at us. Ellis opened up with the M60 and nearly drained half of it. We all warned him to hold off until it got really bad. Thank God we told him that.

Did it get worse?

There was another gate, and we were back into the water and we were now headed through a small tunnel. Coach tossed a molotov and Ellis went crazy with the M60. Who knows how many zombies he killed that day. After enough time and enough shooting, we got to the top and into the safehouse, finally.

Thank you, Nick.

[He nods and begins work on another model.]