User:Five Dog

Congratulations, My child. You have found Me. I, am Five Dog. The Five Dog. If you need help with something, please, my son, do not hesitate to ask.... No seriously, I can help.
 * I am immortal. I am the light of hope. I am the adrenaline in your veins, I am the bullets in your weapon, I am the island of salvation in the sea of despair. I am your saviour. Only I can guide you through Hell and back. I can save you from death and shield you from infection. I am your leader. And you... are my instrument. Only Five Dog can survive.

Remember, my children, Five Dog is here to help. He always will be. Should you require assistance, want to ask something, or perhaps even feel up for a chat, you can contact me here.

The Five Dog Factor
The Me Factor. More debated than the theory of evolution, more honoured than the Pythagorean Theorem and more referenced than Murphy's Law; The Five Dog Factor plays an important part in everyday life. Five Dog is always watching, always waiting. He is the pinnacle of evolution and existence. When in a tight situation, apply the Five Dog Factor. Ask yourself: If you do wish for Five Dog to use His divine almighty powers to help you - a weak and vulnerable mortal - you must say the following to please Him and maybe he'll pity you: All of the above have the potential to please Him. You may be spared from death, but do not expect it. For the noble and brave, Five Dog defends; for the wicked and cruel, Five Dog abandons.
 * Is Five Dog with me?
 * Is Five Dog against me?
 * Is Five Dog feeling merciful?
 * Will Five Dog save me or my foe?
 * How can I please Five Dog?
 * Alone in the dark, I tremble. Five Dog is my light.
 * God is dead. Five Dog lives.
 * I cannot kill. Five Dog kills for me.
 * Violence is not the answer. Five Dog is.
 * I do not decide. My choice is Five Dog's.
 * Alone in a battle, I am weak. Five Dog is my defense.

Five Dog Facts
There are a few things all should know about Five Dog. Bored yet child? Perhaps you would like to visit a different page. Let's see:
 * I am on the Xbox 360.
 * I am here to aid the wiki in any way I can. Five Dog's protection is here.
 * The Director is My cousin.
 * I enjoy playing most games. Even with pitiful mortals.
 * The Church Guy was a man of god. I manipulated the infection to punish him.
 * Louis is the messenger of Five Dog. He is the instrument of my will.
 * I am on the small list of things that Francis does not hate.
 * Zoey watched horror films in the Pre-Infection era because I commanded her to. It is because of her new-found knowledge of Horror films that she survives to this day.
 * Bill was too weak to fight, but, I witnessed his honour and bravery in Vietnam. In light of this, I granted him the strength of ten men, the willpower of an army, and a tactical mind worth marvelling. He is now a true believer in the healing power of Five Dog.
 * Pills are a combination of My blood and sweat, holy water and divine essences provided by the Great Beyond. Louis and Bill are both highly aware of this and revel in the glory of them. Pills Here! is vocal prayer to Me.
 * Tanks were previously human worshippers of Five Dog. They did not truly believe and quickly succumbed to the infection. Despite this, their worship of Me, no matter how small or insignificant, has earned them overwhelming strength.
 * Witches cry because they regret choosing god over Five Dog.
 * Newburg was My city. It had the highest population of Five Dog followers. That is why you see "GOD IS DEAD" in graffiti nearly everywhere. That is the written praise of Five Dog.
 * The Screamer was cut from the game because his screams agitated Me.
 * Originally, when you entered the helicopter in the No Mercy Finale, the pilot would become infected and crash. I changed this because no one under my protection would have such bad luck as that.
 * The Survivors are immune because I declare them so.
 * The Infection was god's attempt to cleanse the Earth of Five Dog's followers. However, My true and loyal followers will survive.
 * There are Five Dog Rooms in every city. More will appear, but only if a loyal follower is in desperate need.
 * The Jesus Room is incorrectly named. It is Fairfield's Five Dog room. The actual Jesus Room leads to several Tanks and a four-tongued Smoker.
 * If you do not escape in a finale it is because you don't fully believe in Five Dog. If you do survive, it is because I've deemed you worthy.
 * Coach claims to be a "praying man". He is praying to me.
 * Coach is my disciple in southern USA, whereas Louis is my disciple farther north.
 * I also enjoy basketball, learning interesting and otherwise random facts.
 * I do enjoy writing. So much so, that I will have my own piece of work up eventually. However, it is long and many - knowing the typical of the internet - will find it tedious, but I enjoy making it and if you enjoy reading it that is simply a bonus.
 * There is, of course, my written work; Left 2 Die: A Left 4 Dead Fan-fiction.
 * Why not check this page?
 * Say, you could even go here!
 * For all you budding PC users, go here.


 * "Life sucks, get a fucking helmet, alright?" - Denis Leary


 * "You look like someone with about a million questions, lay it on me." - Three Dog


 * "No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy." - Henry Kissinger


 * "`Cause two dogs ain't enough, and four is too low, it's me! Five Dog!" - Five Dog


 * "He who defends everything, defends nothing." - Sun Tzu


 * "If the Krogan stopped the Rachni, and the Turians stopped the Krogan, who's going to stop the Turians?" - Henry Leyland


 * "History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." - Winston Churchill


 * "Everyone comes with baggage. The key is to find matching sets." - Commander Shepard