User:Five Dog





"And Kazran stood alone at the Gates of Reliquiae, to shield his people from the Feles onslaught. "Thy army is great, but I cannot be broken. For in my heart I wield the fury of Canis Tortulas, and all will behold the awesome power of Five Dog.""

- From the Liber Quintus, Book of Fortissimus, 15:5

G reetings, child. You've found Him. You've found Five Dog.

E very mortal needs some help. He knows this. Lay down your hostilities and present a good will, no harm shall come to you. He can help you if you need it. All you have to do is ask.

T his page is but a vessel. He believes not in a complicated user page. He believes complexity breeds confusion and boredom. He wishes not to inflict these emotions upon mortals. He will keep it simple for the human readers.

O vercoming mortal pride, you are here to wish for Five Dog to use His divine, almighty powers to help you? A weak and vulnerable mortal? You may be spared from death, but do not expect it. For the noble and brave, Five Dog defends; for the wicked and cruel, Five Dog abandons.

U nder His guidance you will edit well. Perhaps He is active. Perhaps He is not. It is of little importance, inactivity cannot quell His omnipotence. He has desires to help all that seek it.

T he wikis exist because He allows it. And they will end, when He demands it.

Feel like joining the list of followers? All you have to do is ask, and hope that you are viewed as a kind soul.

'''There are fifteen Five Dog Commandments in total. Live them, read them, learn them, love them. Enforce them.'''

I.
 * Thou shalt love and care for dogs.

II.
 * Thou shalt never set fire to a lobster.

III.
 * Thou shalt always remember that there is always time for whimsy.

IV.
 * Thou shalt not eat any seafood on any day ending in "y".

V.
 * Thou shalt pretend that everything is shiny and as such will declare it so by yelling "Shiny!" in as odd a voice as thou can muster.

VI.
 * Thous shalt not kill or harm any living beings. Except spiders. Thou shalt kill those creepers.

VII.
 * Thou shalt grab everythin' thou can.

VIII.
 * Thou shalt be a good person. Simple.

IX.
 * Thou shalt adore Hunters. Failure to do so, will evoke the wrath of Jo.

X.
 * Thou shalt understand that seeking help is what makes you stronger.

XI.
 * Thou shalt not read this Commandment.

XII.
 * Thou shalt say "thou shalt" every day.

XIII.
 * Thou shalt appreciate the Standard Grammar Nazi. However, thou shalt fearfully respect the Awesome Grammar Nazi.

XIV.
 * Thou shalt not notice that thy God is running out of Commandments.

XV.
 * Thou shalt go back and read the Commandments again.