User:Five Dog

Welcome
Congratulations, My child. You have found Me. I, am Five Dog. THE Five Dog.
 * I am immortal. I am the light of hope. I am the adrenaline in your veins, I am the bullets in your gun, I am the island of salvation in the sea of despair. I AM YOUR SAVIOR. Only I can guide you through Hell and back. I can save you from death and steal you from infection. I am your leader. And you... are my instrument. Only Five Dog can survive. -- Five Dog ( Talk ){ Updates }

Now, it's time for my disciple Five Dog The Mortal to give you a message. He resides on the Fallout Wiki.

''This is Five Dog, kiddies! Coming to you from my safe room in the middle of this post-apocalyptic zombie nightmare! Remember kids, when the zombies come, there ain't no sense in letting them get close! Run, hide, or fight if you got the balls and the guns, but for Dog's sake don't go waving the white flag. They'll just eat it.'' -- Five Dog The Mortal.

The Five Dog Factor
The Me Factor. More debated than the theory of evolution, more honoured than the Pythagorean Theorem and more referenced than Murphy's Law; The Five Dog Factor plays an important part in everyday life. Five Dog is always watching, always waiting. He is the pinnacle of evolution and existence. When in a tight situation, apply the Five Dog Factor. Ask yourself: If you do wish for Five Dog to use His divine almighty powers to help you - a weak and vulnerable mortal - you must say the following to please Him and maybe he'll pity you: All of the above have the potential to please Him. You may be spared from death, but do not expect it. For the noble and brave, Five Dog defends; for the wicked and cruel, Five Dog abandons.
 * Is Five Dog with me?
 * Is Five Dog against me?
 * Is Five Dog feeling merciful?
 * Will Five Dog save me or my foe?
 * How can I please Five Dog?
 * Alone in the dark, I tremble. Five Dog is my light.
 * God is dead. Five Dog lives.
 * I cannot kill. Five Dog kills for me.
 * Violence is not the answer. Five Dog is.
 * I do not decide. My choice is Five Dog's.
 * Alone in a battle, I am weak. Five Dog is my defense.

Five Dog Facts
There are a few things all should know about Five Dog.
 * I am on the Xbox 360.
 * I am here to aid the wiki in any way I can. Five Dog's protection is here.
 * The Director is My cousin.
 * I enjoy playing most games. Even with pitiful mortals.
 * The Church Guy was a man of god. I manipulated the infection to punish him.
 * Louis is the messenger of Five Dog. He is the instrument of my will.
 * I am on the small list of things that Francis does not hate.
 * Zoey watched horror films in the Pre-Infection era because I commanded her to. It is because of her new-found knowledge of Horror films that she survives to this day.
 * Bill was too weak to fight, but, I witnessed his honour and bravery in Vietnam. In light of this, I granted him the strength of ten men, the willpower of an army, and a tactical mind worth marvelling. He is now a true believer in the healing power of Five Dog.
 * Pills are a combination of My blood and sweat, holy water and divine essences provided by the Great Beyond. Louis and Bill are both highly aware of this and revel in the glory of them. Pills Here! is vocal prayer to Me.
 * Tanks were previously human worshippers of Five Dog. They did not truly believe and quickly succumbed to the infection. Despite this, their worship of Me, no matter how small or insignificant, has earned them overwhelming strength.
 * Witches cry because they regret choosing god over Five Dog.
 * Newburg was My city. It had the highest population of Five Dog followers. That is why you see "GOD IS DEAD" in graffiti nearly everywhere. That is the written praise of Five Dog.
 * The Screamer was cut from the game because his screams agitated Me.
 * Originally, when you entered the helicopter in the No Mercy Finale, the pilot would become infected and crash. I changed this because no one under my protection would have such bad luck as that.
 * The Survivors are immune because I declare them so.
 * The Infection was god's attempt to cleanse the Earth of Five Dog's followers. However, My true and loyal followers will survive.
 * The Jesus Room is incorrectly named. It is the Five Dog room. The actual Jesus Room leads to several Tanks and a four-tongued Smoker.
 * If you do not escape in a Finale it is because you don't fully believe in Five Dog. If you do survive, it is because I've deemed you worthy.
 * I also enjoy basketball, learning interesting and otherwise random facts and writing.
 * I do indeed enjoy writing. So much so, that I will have my own piece of work up here on my page eventually. However, it is long and many - knowing the typical of the internet - will find it tedious, but I enjoy making it and if you enjoy reading it that is simply a bonus. I already have the story worked out but I am open to reasonable suggestions. Please note: Five Dog defines "reasonable" on a daily basis.

Well, well. It appears there is more to you than I first expected. I'd thought that you wouldn't read down this far. Do you truly believe, then? Do you? Are you a trusted follower? Do you think you're worthy? Because you've read some text? We shall see, My child. We shall see...

My child, if you are a true believer, then this is a momentous occasion. First you must prove yourself. Unfortunately, even if you do believe, I cannot extend my protection entirely. It cannot be spread too thin. However, I will aid you by your side when you need me. Correct, my child, you will have the opportunity to fight alongside me. And that is why this is a momentous occasion.

So, on to the test. This is a test of your intelligence, and the answer is what you're seeking. Correct again, child, my name. Or, in mortal terms, my "Gamertag". That is the answer. Then what, you ask, is the question? There is no question. Only clues. Let's commence, shall we?

Clues

General
 * My name consists of two words, no spaces.
 * Alliteration is key.
 * Syllables are equal.
 * It bears no relation or relevance to Five Dog.
 * Unlike the majority of the internet, I spell correctly.
 * Each word begins with a capital letter.

First word
 * I am in, but not restricted to, the military.
 * My rank is respectable, but not high.
 * I am not part of the staff, I do not fly first class, and I am not of major importance. Although I do not have these things, they could go well with my rank.

Second Word
 * I fire with deadly force, rivalled by almost nothing.
 * My range is short.
 * I can be short, long, manual, automatic.
 * I am frequently used for hunting.
 * Accuracy is not my Forte. Stopping power is.
 * I am often "scattered", "peppered" or "fowling".

THE ANSWER IS EASY, MY CHILD. IF YOU ARE A TRUE BELIEVER, YOU WILL KNOW SOON ENOUGH.

Five Dog's gamertag is.... →Insert Here←

Feel free to edit this page to enter your answer. I will respond and inform you if you were correct. Any disruptive editing will be removed. Good luck, my child.



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