Zombie Survival Guide

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The Zombie Survival Guide is a trailer for the game Left 4 Dead 2, and serves as the opening cinematic for the game itself. The title of the trailer comes from the opening of the video, in which Coach is reading from a CEDA-issued quarantine instruction sheet.

Video Transcript
[''Fade In as South of Human begins to play. Camera pans as The Survivors pass the abandoned Motel. Sign reads:'' 'Closed until further notice due to Sickness' ]

[Coach breaks a boarded-up door, letting the Survivors into an abandoned store.']

Coach (off-screen): Report unusual behavior...

[Nick opens the cash register, smirking.]

Coach (off-screen): ...barricade your homes...

[Ellis opens a gun-locker in the back of the store, smiling as he surveys its contents]

Coach (off-screen): ...avoid all contact with infected individuals...

[Ellis passes Rochelle reading a map, handing her a pistol; she brushes it aside and keeps reading.]

[Fade in; Coach is now on-screen, leaning against a counter and reading from a sheet in one hand, and holding a candy-bar in the other.]

Coach: ...wait for official instructions. [Laughs derisively and throws the sheet away.] Wait, my ass...

[''Coach walks away, eating the candy-bar. Ellis turns as he walks by, now loaded up with a Tactical Shotgun, Grenade Launcher, Medpack, and Combat shotgun.'']

Ellis: Kill all sons-a-bitches. [racks the Combat Shotgun] That's my 'ficial 'structions.

[Ellis kicks open the Saferoom Door, and the Survivors charge out into the street, attacking the wandering Infected.]

[''Scene Change - nighttime. Coach punches an attacking Infected, knocking it back. Rochelle flips a fire axe over in her hands before cleaving an Infected in half.'']

[''Coach stands over an Infected with a Tactical Shotgun in-hand. He bashes the zombie with the butt of the gun.'']

Coach: This used to be a nice neighborhood!

[''Ellis flees through a group of parked cars as a Jockey bears down on him. The Jockey lands on him, bashing him against the hood of one of the cars. Nick stops and turns, spotting Ellis.'']

Nick: Shit... [Nick fires towards the camera.]

[''Scene change; one of the Survivors flashlights illuminates a mud-man. The mud-man turns and starts scrambling towards the camera as the flashlight flickers and goes out.'']

Ellis: Hey watch out!

[''Scene change; Rochelle hushes Ellis as they both hide behind a fallen tree. A Spitter staggers to its feet on the other side of the tree.'']

Rochelle: This is some gross shit we've got ourselves into...

[The Spitter looks around for a moment before spewing its acidic bile at the camera.]

[Scene change; Rochelle and Nick are backing away from an attacking group of Infected.]

Rochelle: Get back, get back!

[''Rochelle fires a M-16 towards off-camera. Coach fires a Chrome Shotgun at a group of Infected, shredding one of them, before falling back with the others.'']

[''Scene change and fade-in; the Survivors are climbing the fire-stairs of The Hotel. Coach stops, getting winded.'']

Coach: Who the hell... puts an evac station... up thirty flights of goddamn stairs?

[Nick slows for a moment, also out-of-breath, and turns to look down at Coach.]

Nick: C'mon Coach; maybe the helicopter... maybe it's made of chocolate.

[''Nick laughs weakly as he continues up the stairs. Coach scowls as the camera blacks out. Scene change; fade in as the Survivors emerge on the hotel rooftop, watching as the helicopter flies away.'']

Ellis: Hey where is everybody!? Helloooo... anyone here?!

Rochelle: Ugh, this is not happening; this is not happening; this is not happening...

Coach: [Nodding towards the helicopters flying away as Nick catches his breath.] Aren't they s'posed to be savin' our asses?

Nick: Looks like there's been a change of plans.

[''Scene change; Jet fighters fly overhead, dropping bombs on the city to clear out the remaining Infected. Rochelle hides behind an over-turned car as the military bombs the bridge.'']

Rochelle: Stop the bombing run!

Pilot: (unintelligible)

[''A bomb goes off nearby; the blast throws Coach against the hood of an abandoned police car. Nick runs in to help Coach to his feet.'']

Coach: Agh... shit.

[''Scene change; Ellis is trapped by a Charger inside a burning building. The Charger grabs hold of him.'']

Ellis: It's got me!

[''Ellis beats his fists uselessly against the Charger's grip. Scene change; clowns are climbing the side of the Screaming Oak, trying to reach the Survivors. A fire has broken out at the base of the roller coaster. Nick slips, and Rochelle catches him before the clowns grab hold of him.'']

Rochelle: Hang on!

[''Infected Hazmat workers are wandering amongst the flames, seemingly unharmed. One turns to the camera and snarls angrily. Scene change; the Survivors are running towards an elevator. Ellis gun-butts one of the Infected before another knocks the gun from his hands. Ellis stumbles and runs for the elevator just as a Smoker manages to constrict him.'']

Ellis: Agh, what the he-AAGH!

[Coach steps in, revving a Chainsaw before cutting through the Infected reaching through the door.]

Coach: Yeah! Chew on THIS!

[Ellis coughs, shaking off the remnants of the Smoker's tongue before he sees something outside of the elevator]

Ellis: Ho-lee shit...

[''Camera pulls out and pans down, revealing Infected as far as the eye can see. Coach helps Ellis to his feet and pats him on the back, as Rochelle offers the Grenade Launcher to him.'']

Rochelle: Hey. 'Kill all sons-a-bitches', right?

[''Ellis smiles and nods sheepishly. Camera focuses on the elevator floor indicator as it changes from 5 to 4. Scene change; the Survivors are fending off the Infected at the Midnight Riders concert. Coach throws a gas can out into the Horde, as Ellis fires at it.'']

Coach: YEAH!

Nick (off-screen): I have not...

[The elevator floor indicator changes to 3; Cut to Rochelle racking the Heavy Machine Gun at the plantation house before cutting down a Horde of Infected.]

Nick (off-screen): ...come this far...

[''Floor indicator changes to 2. Cut to all four Survivors on the bridge, attacking a Tank.'']

Nick (off-screen): ...to die now!

[''Ellis fires a grenade into the Tank before cutting to the elevator floor indicator changing to L and chiming. The blood-stained doors open, revealing the four Survivors, armed with various weapons. Coach revs a Chainsaw before cutting to the title splash-screen.'']

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