Ellis/Quotes

A list of Ellis' Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

[ Passing many witches in the Sugar Mill ] Rochelle: "Goddamn... How many witches is there?"

Ellis: "Shit...I'ma bout to start crying in a minute."

[ When approaching toilets on Parish ] Coach: "Aww, man, stinks 'a piss... "

Ellis: "I dunno. Smells kinda nice."

Nick: "Ever eaten horse? It's tasty."
 * [ When he sees the statue of Andrew Jackson ] "Man, I wish we had a horse. I love horses."


 * Ellis: "Who ain't right in the head now?"
 * [ An alternative line ]"Horses are for ridin', not eatin', Nick."


 * Ellis: "Horse!"


 * Nick: "Nice observation, Ellis."

Coach: "Though I walk, through the valley of the shadow of death..."
 * [ While traveling on the cable ferry ] "Coach? Any inspirational words while we enter the swamp
 * Ellis: "Yeah! I'm walk'n in that valley'n I'm kick'n some ass!"

Rochelle: "Ellis? Does your tattoo mean anything?"
 * Ellis: "Oh, this here? This means I'm a bad ass killin' machine."
 * Rochelle: "Wow. You must have amazing foresight to have gotten that."


 * [ Conversation at the start of Dark Carnival ] Nick: “I hate to be the bearer of bad-news guys, but unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we ain't driving through this."

Ellis: "Sorry guys, guess this wasn’t such a hot idea after all."
 * Nick: “God damn you, Jimmy Gibbs, Jr.!”

Ellis: “Now that’s not cool, Nick.”


 * [ Beginning of Dark Carnival ] "Sorry folks. This car is capable of miracles, but it can't drive over 20 miles of parked cars. I think we're walkin'."
 * Nick: "Don't sweat it Ellis. At least you got us out of that mall."


 * [ After shooting several stuffed elephants ] "I think I might win somethin'..."
 * [ When he finds an axe ] (Chuckles and says quietly) "Look who's got an axe..."
 * [ When he picks up an axe ] "I've always wanted to be an axe murderer!"
 * [ When he picks up a baseball bat ] "I'm gonna beat these sonsabitches 'til I lose my watch!"
 * [ When he spots a Molotov ] "Mol'tov here!"
 * "Molotov."
 * Coach: [reading notice]"Report the sick..."
 * Ellis: "Report the sick?"
 * Rochelle: "Don't worry Ellis, they mean the flu, not in the head."
 * [ When he is going to throw a Molotov ] "Fire coming!"
 * "MOLOTOV COMING!"
 * [ When constricted by a Smoker ] "SHOOT THE TONGUE!!"
 * [ Upon a Scavenge match start ] "Go, go, go, go, go, grab some gas!"
 * [ Upon picking up a gas can in a Scavenge match ] "Got it!"
 * [ When finding a pickup ] "All right, all right!"
 * [ When seeing the Infected or someone gets hit ] "Look out now!"
 * [ When shot ] "Man, why you shooting me? Shoot zombies, not me!"
 * "Ya know, shooting me ain't gonna help nothin'."
 * "Damn, this is not funny!"
 * "Stop shooting me, it won't help you anyway."
 * "C'mon, watch it! Daaamn!"
 * "I'm not a zombie. Shoot zombies."
 * "Whoa, Whoa that hurts!"
 * "That's not cool...Seriously.
 * [ When being shot by Rochelle] "Come on girl, I thought we were closer than that."
 * [ When healing] "Can somebody wait up? I'm gonna heal."
 * "Wait a second, I'm gonna heal."
 * "Can somebody watch my back? I'm gonna heal."
 * "Healing, cover me please!"
 * "Can y'all cover me? I gotta heal!"
 * [ After healing ] "Oh yeah, (shakes self awake) oh yeah, oh yeah."
 * "(Shaking self awake)"
 * "That fixed me up real good."
 * "Much, much better now."
 * "Oooh yeah."
 * [ When healing a teammate ] "Here ya go. I had no use for this anyhow, I ain't gonna get shot."
 * [ When reviving a teammate ] "I ain't leaving you, but you better get up!"
 * [Randomly while reviving teammate ] "I ever tell you about when me and my grandma came down here? We-"
 * Revivee: "Not now, Ellis."
 * [ When someone is incapacitated ] "Hang on there."
 * "Up we go."
 * [ When low on health ] "Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man oh man..."
 * "I think these zombies are tryin' to kill me."
 * "I ain't lying, this hurts."
 * "I'm not tryin' to curse myself, but I don't think I'm gonna make it."
 * "Aw, hell no. Hell no."
 * "I'm all tuckered out..."
 * "This ain't in my plans..."
 * "This ain't right..."
 * [While Incapacitated] "Hey I need some help over here."
 * "Help me out!"
 * "I can't make it on my own! Help me!"
 * "HE-EELP!!
 * "AHHHH!"
 * [ While falling to his death ] "SORRY Y'ALL!!"
 * [ When sees a Charger ] "CHARGER!"
 * [ When he is pummeled by a Charger ] "Aw Hell! He's poundin' me to death!"
 * "He's bashing me into shit!"
 * [ Before the emergency door event starts at The Crash Site ] "Somebody's gotta open this door."
 * [ When vomited on by a Boomer ] "Aw Hell! This sucks!"
 * "Ahhh! I can't see shit!"
 * "Christ in a Hand Basket! I'm gooed!"
 * "Ohh, Christ!"
 * "I'm all gooed!"
 * [ When sees a Spitter ] "Hey, it's a Spitter!"
 * [ When sees a Tank ] "Tank, Tank!
 * TANK! RUN! no, no, no, dont run...SHOOT!"
 * [ When the Spitter is about to spit ] "HEADS UP!"
 * "GOO INBOUND!"
 * [ When spat on by a Spitter ] "YUCK! Spitter goo!"
 * "I got Spitter shit on me."
 * "Ah, hell, man, Spitter goo."
 * "I got hit by the burnin' goo shit!"
 * [ When sees a Hunter ] "We got a Hunter!" or "HUNTER, HUNTER, HUNTER!"
 * [ When pounced by a Hunter ] "GET HIM OFF!"
 * [ When he sees a Jockey ] "We got a Jockey!!"
 * "JOCKEY!"
 * [ After being revived ] "Much obliged."
 * [When pounced on by a Jockey] "Is this thing humping me?!"
 * "OW! GET.....!"
 * "SUMBITCH IS ON MY BACK!"
 * "It ain't right havin' this thing on me!"
 * "Come on, it's not funny anymore!"
 * [ When running from a Witch ] "Coming through! Witch on my ass!"
 * [ Responding to Coach quoting CEDA's instructions in case of infection in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Kill all sons'a'bitches. That's my official instructions."
 * [ At the roof of the evacuation station in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Hey, where is everybody? Hellooooo?"
 * [ When he gets grabbed by a Smoker in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Ah, what the hell?"
 * [ Seeing how the lower floors are flooded by the Infected in Zombie Survival Guide trailer ] "Holy... Shit..."
 * [When looking down at the gas station in Hard Rain] "Alright, there's the gas station, all we gotta do is pass through this cane field.
 * [ When someone else is pounced by a Jockey ] "That's just humiliating."
 * [ Responding to Rochelle's comment about an incoming storm ] "Nobody wander off!"
 * [ When seeing a Witch ] "Aw, a Witch."
 * [ Upon hearing a Witch ] "That cryin' girl's around."
 * [ When being chased by a Witch] Shoot her, SHOOT HER!
 * [ When the witch is getting angry ] "Oh shit man, that Witch is a spaz!"
 * [ After closing the Safe Room door] "We gonna need to do better then THAT."
 * "We are a DAMN good team!"
 * [ After throwing a bile bomb ] "Heads up, bile bomb!"
 * "Here comes the puke!"
 * "Bile bomb incoming!"
 * "Throwing a bile bomb"
 * "Here comes the bile, sons of bitches!"
 * [ After throwing a 'Pipe bomb] '''"Hey! Chase this!"
 * "Throwing a pipe bomb!."
 * [ When sees a alarmed car ] "Ya'll better not shoot the car."
 * [ When hitting a Riot Infected ] "Aw, hell, they're bulletproof."
 * [ When reloading ] "I'm a reload."
 * "Hey, I'm reloading!"
 * "Gotta reload!"
 * [ When grabbing a Machete ] "Machete here."
 * [ When grabbing a Bile Bomb ] "Bottle of puke here."
 * "Bi...le bomb here."
 * "Grabbin' a bile bomb!"
 * "Grabbin' a bile jar."
 * "I don't know. Smells nice though don't it."
 * "I got a bile bomb here!"
 * "Man, I could go for a cold one right about now."
 * [When Victorious after reaching a safehouse] "We are kings of the world!"
 * "DAMN(laughing), we are good! ehe!"
 * " I can hardly believe me made that!"
 * "We are a right DAMN good team."
 * [ When grabbing a Adrenaline shot ] "Grabbin' a shot"
 * "Adrenaline shot here."
 * [ When seeing a Tonfa ] "Nightstick here"
 * [ When a Jockey is nearby ] "Dude, I hear one of them Back Humpers around."
 * [ When in the Safe Room at the start of The Park for a few seconds ] "You guys know what "suck the heads" means? 'Cause I came down here with Keith once, and he didn't know, and--I mean, it ain't nothin' bad. It's about eatin'-"
 * Nick: "Ellis? Is now the best time?"
 * Rochelle: "Ellis, sweetie, can this wait?"
 * Coach: "We ain't got time for this, Ellis."
 * Ellis: "Okay."

[Alternate line] "You ain't never been to Graceland, Nick? Man, y'all should've come, we had so much fun!" Ellis: "Okay..."
 * [ When sees a safe room ] "Hey, we got a safe room right ahead!"
 * [ When all alone or all other survivors are dead] "Hey it's not funny man, where are you guys?"
 * [ After picking up explosive ammo ] "Cool!"
 * [After being defibrillated] "OW, what ya shockin' me for?"
 * "Was I dead? Good thing I didn't walk towards the light..."
 * [Upon seeing the buses at the bus station] "Did I ever tell you guys about the time my grandpa took me on a bus to Memphis to visit Graceland, and we--"
 * Nick: "Ellis, Ellis! We don't have time for that right now!"
 * Ellis: "Okay. But I do love goin' on bus rides."
 * Coach: "We ain't got time for this, boy."


 * [ Upon picking up a nightstick ] "♪ Gonna beat me a zombie to death with a nightstick~ ♪"
 * [ Picking up a Sniper Rifle ] "Imma' snipe some sons-a-bitches."
 * [ Inside a Rescue closet ] "Oh, come on man! I'm gettin' bored up here. Get me out of here!"
 * "Hey...hey everybody, don't forget about me in here!"
 * "Help! HELP! HEEEELP!!"
 * "Okay, I triple-dog-dare you to rescue me!"
 * "Now hold on, you're not thinkin' of leavin' me in here, are you?"
 * "This shotgun feels right. Real right.
 * [ When waiting for the other Survivors inside the safe room ] "I need every one of you inside now!"
 * "C'mon y'all get inside!"
 * [ After being asked by Whitaker to get some cola ] "I can understand that, a man needs his snacks! (under his breath) Man, this guy is weird..."
 * [ When introducing himself in the elevator in The Hotel ] "My name's Ellis but, ya'll can call me El. I prefer Ellis cause El sounds like a girls name."
 * [ Seeing flooded town in Hard Rain. ] "It's the God damn city of Atlantis"
 * "Into the maintenance tunnel of love!"
 * "Into the blasted hole of love!"
 * "Grabbing the shotgun of Love!"
 * "Grabbing the Ninja Sword of Love!"
 * [ During the 2nd stage of Dark Carnival, upon seeing the sign leading into Kiddie land ] "Holy SHIT, guys! IT'S KIDDIE LAND!"

Coach: "I swear, doesn't it sometimes feel like we're babysitting?" /Nick: He's Like a five year old with guns.
 * [ Seeing a Tank on Dead Center ] "Do guns even do anything to that thing?!"
 * "Now hold on. You been makin' jokes about Savannah all day long and I've held my tongue. But don't belittle Jimmy Gibbs, Jr. That man is the pride of Georgia."
 * "That's Jimmy Gibbs, Jr. The greatest driver ever to climb into a stock car."
 * "That right there, ladies and gentlemen, is Mr. Jimmy Gibbs, Jr.!"
 * "That man is an American hero."
 * "Aw, hell. I coulda got my picture taken with Jimmy Gibb's stock car? I HATE this apocalypse."
 * "Jimmy Gibbs got my vote."
 * "Let's go find Jimmy Gibb's stock car. We get that thing gassed up, we can drive outta here."
 * "So I been thinking. Jimmy Gibb's stock car's around here somewhere. We just gotta find it, gas it up, and I'll drive that thing to New Orleans my damn self."
 * "I've got an idea. You know them posters we been seein? Get your picture taken with Jimmy Gibb's stock car? That means it's HERE. We just need to appropriate it, and we got ourselves an escape vehicle."
 * "I've got an idea. Jimmy Gibbs, Jr. ain't gonna mind if we borrow his stock car. He's a very generous man."
 * "Only if I get kilt. Otherwise you better kill me, cause I'M driving."
 * "Wherever he is, Coach-he's proud of you."
 * "Not me. That man's like a father to me."
 * "Man I feel like I'm gassin' up royalty."
 * "This is... such an honor."
 * "Man, never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be gassin' up Jimmy Gibbs's car."
 * "Jimmy Gibbs, Jr. I will do this for you."
 * "Ain't nobody been swimmin' in this pool for a while."
 * "Dude, they got the park all lit up!"
 * "People got to be in that park."
 * "Coach, you're breathing a little hard, you okay?"
 * "Look at those poor people. All they wanted to do was go for a swim."
 * "I never once thought a merry-go-round would turn on me."
 * "I mean, what is this world coming to when you dread a merry-go-round?"
 * "Can we stop and make some cotton candy? Seriously."
 * "I saw 'em in '07. Front row center. Lost my eyebrows."
 * "Stay on That Mountain! First single off their Ten Past Midnight album. I love that song."
 * "Uh, yeah, they're a pretty big deal, all right."
 * "Man, would you look at all these rides? And no LINES! Wish we weren't in such a hurry."
 * "It's like we bought the park and got every ride to ourselves! That's the third thing I was gonna do if I ever won the lottery."
 * "I wanna ride one! Just one! Just lemme ride the Screaming Oak once. Man, when we ever gonna be here again?"
 * "Man, how can you not like Li'l Peanut? I love this little guy!"
 * "You guys are jaded. I used to have his toys when I was bite-sized. That little stuffed peanut was the best friend a boy could have."
 * "Dang, look at Nick's jacket."
 * "One thing videogames have taught me, good shit is always in vents."
 * "This ain't that kinda ride, Nick. (Whisper) This is where you make out with your girlfriend."
 * "Ohmigod, it's Christmas."

Stories

 * My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once. He was shooting crows, but the police were too busy tear gassin' him to ask what he was doin' up there. He screamed for an entire year every single time when he opened his eyes! Oh man! At first it was funny, then it just got sad, but then it got funny again! Oh man!
 * Man, I love malls. I do. One time I was at this mall up in Atlanta, and there were these people there, and they were dancin' for, like, money an' stuff, an' my friend Dave an I, we was all like--
 * Jimmy Gibbs, Jr. is the man! I've never known anyone like that man. Though I did know this guy once who raced dirt tracks, not stock cars but open-wheeled cars, y'know? An' this one time he was racin', and a goat--
 * I knew this guy once who tried to set a world record for sittin' up on top of a Ferris wheel. He'd been up there for like, two days, and he wanted some beer, but they weren't givin' him any. So he got this rope--don't ask me where he got the rope from--
 * I ever tell you about the time me and Keith made a homemade bumper car ride with ridin' mowers in his backyard? Mower blade wounds over 90% of his body. I didn't run him over either, he somehow managed to fall under his own.
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith drowned in the tunnel of love? You wouldn't think it could happen cause the water's so shallow, but that's how it gets you man. Overconfidence. Keith was with his lady at the time, and he was yellin' for her to save him, but she didn't want to get wet.
 * I ever tell you about the time me and Keith snuck a paintball gun on a roller coaster? I never heard'a anybody else doin' it, so I thought we might'a invented a sport, so Keith called the patent office, but--
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith fell out the rollercoaster? Yeah he didn't drop far, mind you, just onto the tracks, but the carnival people wouldn't stop the ride 'cause all the other people paid good money and Keith snuck on for free, so he had to dodge for like twenty minutes or so.
 * I ever tell you about the time Keith and I made fireworks? Now, I didn't know shit about chemistry but Keith figured gasoline burns doesn't it? Heh. Third degree burns on 95% of his body. Man, people in the next city over were calling to complain about the smell of burning skin.
 * I ever tell you about the time Keith tried to deep fry turkey? Third degree burns over 90% his body. His doctor called up, like, other doctors to look at him cause he'd never seen burns on top of existing burns!
 * Man, all this mud reminds me of my friend Keith. Yeah, he was gonna build a shack once, to live in an' all--and I know most people where they build houses and they become shacks, but Keith, he was about jumping right t' the shack stage. But he had no wood, so he got some mud and was making what we were all thinking was gonna be these adobe bricks, ya know, like when them people out west make bricks and shit. Well, he had mud and--
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith got rolled by a 'gator in a swamp? Man he didn't agonize it or nothin', we were just tryin' to grab two so we could piss 'em off and get 'em into a fight. Well anyway the third time Keith went under I realized something was wrong so I--
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith drove his car off a cliff, broke both his legs? Hey it's not a funny ha-ha story, so much as it's a make you think story. For instance, windshields look pretty durable, right? Yeah, not the case according to Keith. Son of a bitch flew right through that sucker.
 * Man, I ain't never been in a sugarcane field before. I mean, I've seen 'em an' all, but I've never had any reason to go in one. Now, you go in a peach grove, and you find all kinds of cool shit! Like this one time, I was in a--
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith and I were on the top of a burnin' building, and we had to fight our way down like five floors of zombies an - hey, wait a second...I guess that was you guys. Oh shit, man, I can't wait to tell Keith about that one!
 * Do you know what "suck the heads" means? 'Cuz I came down here wi' Keith once, an' HE didn't know, and...I mean, it ain't nothin' bad. It's about eatin'.
 * Did I ever tell you guys about the time me and Keith filled up water balloons with our own--
 * I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith fell down an open manhole? He was unconscious down there for like a week. Durin' that time, unbeknowst to Keith, they paved over him. Keith had to--
 * My buddy Keith lived in a graveyard once for a whole year -- it wasn't a dare or nothin', he just got kicked out of his house. He said he NEVER saw a single ghost 'cept for this one time when a ghost stabbed him from behind and took all his money, and he might've just been a homeless guy, 'cause he had a robe on with two eyes cut out his face.
 * One time, the army bombed my buddy Keith. He went campin' and didn't bother to read the signs, and I guess they were just testin' bombs that day--all sorts of stuff too, not just regular bombs, like biological nerve gas bombs, shrapnel bombs, these bombs that break up in the air to, like, a hundred smaller bombs...
 * I ever tell you about the time me and Keith snuck into a Tunnel of Love? Man, if you get your spit thick enough, y'see, y'all can hang a loogie off the overhang, right, so when smoochin' sons of bitches behind you--